Here’s how you should do it if you want her back:
1. Use humor to make her feel attracted
It has been said that laughter is the best medicine.
So, when it comes to responding to an ex after No Contact, using a bit of humor is a great way to break the ice and take the bite off any negative feelings she may be holding onto about you.
This is why, if you want your ex to open back up to you and want to talk to you on the phone and see you in person, you need to focus on making her smile, laugh and feel good when she is texting with you.
She can then begin to think something like, “This is interesting. He seems so different now. I’m actually laughing and enjoying interacting with him. I even feel excited when I see that I have a message from him on my phone. Maybe I should talk to him on the phone or in person to see how I feel.”
She then becomes more open to the idea of talking to you on the phone and seeing you in person, giving you the opportunity to properly re-attract her, by allowing her to experience the new and improved man that you’ve become and get her back
Another example of how to respond to an ex after no contact is…
2. Play a little hard to get to make her pay attention and focus on your texts
This is not about being a jerk and treating your ex badly (e.g. ignoring her texts, being mean to her, trying to make her feel bad for breaking up with you).
Instead, it’s about not being overly available to her every time she texts you.
So, even if you’re excited to be hearing from your ex after No Contact, don’t make the classic mistake of instantly replying to every text within seconds or minutes.
Instead, take your time and get back to her a little while later.
This will actually pique her interest and make her eager to get your reply.
She may then begin wondering what you’re up to and imagine that you might be hanging out with friends, a new girl or doing something so interesting that you don’t have time to reply to her.
She then starts to think about you in a positive way and begins to miss you.
However, be warned…
Don’t delay your texts for too long, because if she senses that you’re messing with her, she will clam up and then she will be the one playing hard to get with you.
Another example of how to respond to an ex after no contact is…
3. Text for a little bit, but then get her on a phone call with you
Although it’s perfectly fine to text with an ex for a short time, if your goal is to get her back, you have to proceed to a phone call and then to a meet up for it to happen.
The fact is, it’s very difficult to reawaken a woman’s sexual and romantic feelings for you without actually talking to her (preferably face-to-face), where she can hear the tonality of your voice and see your confidence coming through via your body language.
This is why you can’t wait too long to get her on a call.
If you don’t, she will most likely get bored with texting you back and forth and she will then focus on moving on.
Then, if some other guy comes along and makes her feel attracted, she will hook up with him instead.
8 Ways That Guys Go Wrong When Responding to an Ex After No Contact
Although in some cases using No Contact on a woman makes her miss her ex and she may then reach out to him to say “Hello” and to find out why he’s been ignoring her, it doesn’t guarantee that she will get back with him.
If the guy can re-spark her feelings of respect and attraction for him, she will drop her guard and open back up to him to see where things go from there.
However, if he responds in ways that turn her off, rather than give him another chance, she will usually think something along the lines of, “Contacting him was a mistake. I thought it was possible for us to work things out, but I see now that he’s not the man for me.”
She then cuts him out of her life completely (e.g. she blocks his number on her phone, unfriends him on social media) and focuses on quickly getting over him and moving on.
So, if you don’t want that to happen to you, you need to make sure that when you respond to your ex after No Contact, you don’t make any of the following mistakes:
1. Asking her for a meet up via text
If a woman breaks No Contact by texting her ex, it’s only natural that he will respond back to her in the same way.
Yet, what often happens is that the guy gets so caught up in a back and forth conversation with his ex, that he eventually texts her something along the lines of, “Hey, why don’t we get together sometime?”
Essentially, he’s hoping that she will say, “Yes” and they can then meet up and get back together from there.
However, even though a woman might feel comfortable initiating contact with her ex via text, for her to want to see him again in person, she will usually to see some proof that he’s at least changed and improved some of the things that turned her off before.
She can’t really get that proof via text though, because it’s just a bunch of words on a little screen.
She knows that her ex could be saying one thing and feeling another, so in most cases, a woman will naturally be suspicious of anything her ex texts her.
Then, rather than giving him the benefit of the doubt and assuming that he is feeling relaxed, confident and self-assured when he sent her a text to ask her to meet up, she might just continue thinking about him based on how she felt when him and her broke up (i.e. in a negative way).
Then, rather than saying, “Okay, sure. Let’s get together,” she may think something like this instead, “He text’s me? That’s it? I can’t believe he doesn’t even have the balls to call me to ask me for a meet up after all this time apart. It’s like I don’t even matter to him that much. It makes me wonder whether he’s changed at all and what his motives are for asking me to meet up via text. Either he’s lost interest in me and is only asking me to meet up so that he can rub my face in his new life, or he’s actually not feeling very confident about himself so he’s hiding behind text messages. Whatever his reasons though, neither option is very appealing to me. I think I’m better off just forgetting all about him and moving on with my life.”
So, if your intention is to get your ex back, you’ve got to do what works.
If you just text her, it’s so much easier for misunderstandings to happens.
Then, getting her back becomes a lot more difficult because she’s closed off.
This is why, if you want to ask your ex to meet up, it’s much better done on a phone call.
When she can hear the confidence in your voice (especially if she’s being offish towards you), her walls will come down and she will want to meet up with you in person to see the new you for herself.
Another mistake to avoid making is…
2. Asking her if she’s changed her mind
As tempting as it might be to want to ask your ex if she’s changed her mind about being broken up as soon as you hear from her, it’s probably only going to put her on guard and possibly even make her regret her decision to contact you. Why?
In most cases, a woman only contacts her ex when he’s using No Contact out of curiosity to see why he’s ignoring her.
However, that doesn’t mean she has feelings for him and wants him back.
So, if he asks her if she’s changed her mind, without first actively re-sparking her sexual and romantic feelings for him, she’s usually going to pull away and say, “No.”
Even in cases where a woman does still have feelings for her ex and has missed him, she usually won’t say that she’s changed her mind right away, because she won’t want to come across as being too easy.
So, if you want to make your ex change her mind naturally and easily, the best way to go about it is by sparking her feelings of respect and attraction for you over the phone and during face-to-face interactions and showing her that you really are a different man now.
Another mistake to avoid making is…
3. Bragging about his new life without her via text
Sometimes a guy might try to make his ex want him, by bragging to her about how great his life has been since they split up.
For example: If his ex asks, “So, how have you been?” he might respond with something like, “Having a wonderful time these days. So many things to do and so little time. Life is so good since we broke up.”
Essentially, he’s hoping that she will feel a bit jealous and start thinking things like, “Oh no! He’s moving on without me! What have I done? I can’t believe I let a catch like him go. I need to take action right away to get him back, before I lose him to another woman.”
Yet, in most cases, when a guy is bragging about how wonderful his life is without his ex, it’s usually because the opposite is true and in reality he’s actually feeling depressed and miserable without her.
Remember: A woman can easily find out if a guy is really happy without her, or if he’s only putting on an act.
All she has to do is wish him good luck and say she’s going to move on too and he will usually start chasing after her.
So, don’t brag about your life to your ex via text, even if you are really having a great time.
Instead, meet up with her in person and let her see for herself that you’re a confident, emotionally independent man now, but that you still care about her and want her back.
She will then feel drawn to you in a way that feels good to her and she will then want to be a part of your great life too.
Another mistake to avoid making is…
4. Trying to discuss the relationship via text
One of the biggest mistakes that guys make after No Contact is to quickly try and get their ex back a soon as they start interacting with her.
So, what often happens is that the woman hasn’t heard from her ex for a while, so she sends him a feeler text to see why he’s not talking to her.
He then responds with something along the lines of, “It’s so good to hear from you! I just want you to know that I’m really sorry about everything that happened between us. I know that I stuffed up but I really have changed and I want to work things out between us. I promise things will be different this time.”
Yet, here’s the thing…
When a guy tries to discuss the relationship via text, it usually only makes his ex relive all the negative emotions that she experienced at the time (e.g. anger, frustration, disappointment).
Not only that, she also feels annoyed that he’s talking about getting back together again after he’s just been ignoring her for a few weeks or months.
As a result, she becomes defensive and closes herself off from him.
Suddenly, when she responds to him she sounds offish and in some cases, she may even take longer and longer to reply until she finally stops texting him altogether.
So, regardless of whether you want to apologize to your ex for what happened between you and her, make sure that when you text her, you avoid discussing the relationship, or the possibility of having a relationship, with her.
Instead, put all that behind you and focus instead on rebuilding her feelings of respect and attraction for the man that you are now.
When she begins to associate you with more positive emotions (e.g. respect, attraction, excitement), she’ll naturally want to interact with you more and more.
Then, when you apologize to her and talk about the relationship, it won’t seem out of place and like you’re pushing her into something she doesn’t want.
So, focus on making her feel respect and attraction for the new you, rather than reminding her of the old you and the ex back process will become so much smoother and easier.
Another mistake to avoid making is…
5. Putting way too much effort into his messages
Sometimes a guy spends hours thinking about how to respond to his ex.
In his mind he may be thinking, “This is the only chance I have with her. That is why, how I respond to her is vital, because if I say the wrong thing, she might get turned off and decide to stop interacting with me.”
As a result, he puts way too much effort in his messages and comes across as being too tense, emotional, formal or like he’s just sitting around waiting to hear from her.
She then begins to wonder, “Why does he sound so weird? What is wrong with him? Maybe contacting him was a mistake. He’s just too serious all of a sudden. I just can’t relax and enjoy my interactions with him anymore. I think we no longer have anything in common.”
She then begins to pull away from him, because he’s just not making her feel the way she wants to feel when interacting with him.
Another mistake to avoid making is…
6. Playing too hard to get
In some cases a guy will use No Contact as a way of making his ex miss him and come running back.
Yet, when she initiates contact by sending him a text message, rather than respond to her, make her feel some sparks of attraction and then proceed to a call and a meet up so that he can get her back, he instead decides to play hard to get (e.g. takes really long to respond to her text messages, doesn’t call her on the phone, pretends to be busy if she suggests a catch up).
He might say to himself, “No Contact worked perfectly. I just have to make sure that I continue to play it cool, so that she will chase after me and desperately want me back. Then getting her back will be easy.”
However, that approach almost always backfires and he completely misses out on the opportunity to meet up with her, reactivate her feelings and get her back.
Here’s the thing…
When a woman opens herself up to her ex again, she’s basically giving him a chance to show her that he’s really changed and improved and become a better man than he was before they broke up.
This is why, if he suddenly begins to play hard to get, she might think, “If he thinks that he can mess me around just because I contacted him, he can think again. I’m not putting up with his childish behavior. He’s just blown any chance he might have had with me.”
She may then stop responding to him when he does contact her, leaving him feeling confused and wondering what he did wrong.
So, if you truly want to get your ex back and have a happy, loving relationship with her, don’t waste time playing games.
Instead, focus on re-sparking her sexual and romantic feelings for you on a phone call or in person.
When you approach the ex back process in that way, things tend to flow more smoothly, because she is feeling open to you and attracted to you.
However, if you mess her around, you will probably be the one who loses out in the end.
Another mistake to avoid making is…
7. Being afraid to get on a phone call and get her back for real
Sometimes a guy will be so happy to be interacting with his ex after No Contact, that he will spend weeks and maybe even months texting back and forth with her.
Yet, what he doesn’t realize is that just because a woman is texting him and possibly even being nice and sweet towards him, it doesn’t mean she isn’t busy moving on and hooking up with and dating other guys.
So, if you want to get back into a relationship with your ex, you can’t stick to texting and expect that to happen.
Remember: As the man, it’s up to you to initiate the ex back process.
Don’t be afraid to call your ex on the phone, so you can then begin to re-attract her and make her want you back.
If you don’t, you may be shocked when one day she sends you a message saying something like, “Hey, I’ve got some great news I want to share with you. I’m in love with someone and I’m really happy. I wanted you to be one of the first to know, because you’re such a good friend to me now.”
Don’t let that happen to you.
If you want her back, you have to be bold and take the actions required to get her back for real.
Another mistake to avoid making is…
8. Failing her confidence tests
Quite often, a guy will end up turning his ex off after using No Contact to get her back, by failing her confidence tests.
For example:
- She plays hard to get and instead of laughing it off, he becomes insecure.
- She pretends to be angry about something and instead of standing up to her in an assertive yet loving way, he apologizes over and over.
- She doesn’t seem very interested in something he says and instead of turning it around by making her laugh and smile, he overreacts by trying to be super funny, giggly or cute to hopefully get a reaction out of her.
She then realizes that he’s just not man enough for her, so she closes herself off from him and focuses on fully getting over him and moving on.
So, if you want to get your ex back, it’s very important that you maintain your confidence with her.
Remember: Women are naturally attracted to confidence in a man, so if you can pass her tests, she will naturally feel respect and attraction for you, even if she doesn’t initially admit it.
When that happens, she will then drop her guard and open herself up fully to reconciling with you and getting back together.
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