How can you stop feeling insecure around your girlfriend?
Those moments where you worry if she loves you or not, if she’s attracted to you or not, if she might like someone else, if she’s going to cheat on you, or if she might be chatting with someone else on her phone and so on.
How can you avoid being insecure like that?
Well, first, let’s begin with the dictionary definition of insecurity, so you understand what you need to address and fix.
Insecurity (noun): Uncertainty or anxiety about oneself; lack of confidence.
So, what causes that insecurity?
What causes one guy to feel insecure with a woman, whereas if another guy was with her, he wouldn’t feel insecure?
One of the main things that causes a man to feel insecure around his girlfriend, is when he feels unworthy of her sexual and romantic love.
From his perspective, she is more valuable than him and he needs to try to impress her, to live up to her expectations.
Otherwise, she might eventually realize that she is more than valuable than him and then cheat on him, or dump him and leave him.
The thing is, you get to decide whether or not you are worthy of her sexual and romantic love.
It has to be something that you decide.
Confidence is having belief in your abilities, in your skills and so on.
When it comes to being in a relationship with a woman and not feeling insecure around her, it’s about believing in yourself in terms of your value to her, believing that you are worthy of her love, worthy of her feeling attracted to you.
Not just worthy, more than good enough.
You are more than good enough for her.
You have to believe that about yourself because if you don’t, all sorts of problems begin to emerge in the relationship.
For example: When a man feels unworthy of his woman’s sexual love, he may react in one of the following ways, which then makes the situation worse.
- Be emotionally distant, so he doesn’t become too attached to her, but then she starts feeling unsatisfied, because there isn’t a real emotional connection between them.
- Try hard to be perfect around her and live up to her expectations, which just keep getting added to. When a woman sees that a guy is trying hard to live up to her expectations, she will test him by asking him to do more and more for her. The more he does for her out of desperation, the less respect and attraction she feels.
- Try to ruin her confidence by pointing out her flaws or making her feel like an unlovable woman, so she then feels like she needs him. That can work temporarily on a woman who isn’t very confident or isn’t experienced with relationships, but once she understands what’s going on, she will begin to resent her man and she will lose respect and attraction for him as a result.
- Threaten to break up with his woman to hopefully gain some power over her. That can work in some cases to get a woman’s attention and make her realize that she doesn’t want to lose a guy, but if she senses that he’s just doing it to hopefully gain some power over her, she might decide to call his bluff. The first time he threatens to break up with her, she might try to improve her behavior to make him feel more confident and reassured with her, yet, the next time around, she might decide to say, “Okay, fine, let’s break up then,” to see how he’s going to react. If he really doesn’t want to break up with her, then he’s probably going to say that at that point, or he might accept it and then try to get her back after that.
- Stay out of her way as much as possible to avoid annoying her.
- Do whatever she wants to do in the relationship to hopefully make her feel happy to be with him.
This is why a lot of people out there mistakenly say that relationships are hard work.
They go about it in a way that causes the relationship to become hard work.
You don’t have to go down the path of making your relationship difficult.
You can make it easy.
A relationship can literally get better and better over time.
So, how can a guy avoid creating all those problems in the relationship by feeling unworthy of his woman’s love?
How can he get to the point where he feels worthy of her love?
How can het get to the point where he feels confident about his value and attractiveness to her and as a result, he doesn’t feel insecure?
The only way to do it for real, is to be able to make her feel more attracted to you than you feel to her.
If you’ve been in relationships before, think about a time when you are in a relationship with a woman who was more attracted to you, than you were to her.
You didn’t feel insecure, because you knew how much she wanted to be with you.
You’ve got to create a similar dynamic with your current girlfriend.
When you do, you’ll no longer feel insecure.
This doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t feel attracted to her, or that you shouldn’t show your attraction to her.
Instead, you have to be able to make her feel more attracted to you than you feel to her.
This starts with feeling worthy of her sexual and romantic love.
Yet, you can’t expect her to help you feel worthy of her love, so you can then feel confident and secure about yourself.
Your girlfriend wants you to decide that you’re worthy and then to begin acting on that belief around her.
Since women are attracted to confidence in a man, they want to see that he has real confidence and isn’t only feeling confident because she’s helping him feel that way.
This comes from her instinctive need to feel safe and protected by a man.
It’s important to understand this and recognize that attraction works differently for men and women.
For example: Most men don’t look at a woman and say, “Wow, I’m so attracted to her because she’s so strong, confident and powerful looking. She looks like she could protect me. I’d be safe with a tough girl like her. I want a girl who makes me feel safe and protected from the world out there.”
The thing is, there are some men who are into that and that’s fine.
However, for the majority of men, their attraction to a woman isn’t based on how powerful she is, how strong she is and how she could protect them.
In fact, some men actually prefer a woman who is shy or self-conscious because it makes them feel more confident around her.
Not all men want that, but most men do prefer a woman who makes them feel like the man, where she is less dominant and looks up to him and respects him.
When she is like that, it creates a natural, ongoing sexual attraction between the man and the woman based on the masculine-feminine dynamic.
However, to achieve that dynamic, where the man is more powerful emotionally and the woman looks up to him and feels sexually attracted to him because she feels protected and safe, the man has to be more emotionally strong than the woman and it has to be genuine.
This is why a woman will often say or do things in a relationship to try and make her man feel insecure around her.
She wants to know whether or not his confidence is genuine, or if he can only feel that way if she’s saying or doing nice things to boost up his confidence.
If she can consistently see that her man doesn’t become insecure by what she says or does, then she naturally starts being more complimentary towards him.
She starts saying and doing things that make him feel even more confident, like telling him that he looks good, that he’s great in bed, that he’s better than other men, or that she’s lucky to have a man like him.
However, it’s important to understand that she will also continue doing what is natural in the male-female sexual dynamic, which is to occasionally say things to test his confidence.
If she occasionally tests his confidence and continues to see that he doesn’t become insecure because he’s no longer rattled by her mere words, then her respect, attraction and love for him increases.
She sees that no matter what she says or does around him, he remains confident.
So, his confidence is genuine and isn’t based on her making things easy for him.
This satisfies her instinctive need to feel safe with a man and as a result, she feels a deep respect, attraction and love for him.
When a woman is with a man who doesn’t become insecure by what she says or does to occasionally test his confidence, her level of respect, attraction and love gets to a point where it surpasses what she has felt for other men in the past, if she has been in relationships before.
She begins to realize how lucky she is to have a man like you.
That’s when your relationship becomes so much more fulfilling for the both of you.
She is deeply attracted to you and is giving you the respect, love and affection that you deserve.
As a result, you naturally find it easier to love her and treat her well.
As her feelings of respect, attraction and love for you deepen even more, she also begins to see you as being the more valuable one in the relationship because she knows that it’s next to impossible to find a man like you.
As a result, you don’t feel insecure with her anymore.
You know that she loves you.
So, if you want to stop feeling insecure around your girlfriend, start feeling worthy of her sexual and romantic love.
Know that you are good enough.
Decide that about yourself.
Believe in yourself in that way and then back it up by making her feel more attracted to you, than you feel to her.
One of the ways that you can make her start feeling more attracted to you is to be more confident in yourself around her.
If you have taken an approach to the relationship where you look at her as being more valuable than you and as a result, you behave in an insecure way, then her attraction for you is going to be pretty low at the moment.
Yet, when you start believing in yourself and seeing yourself as worthy of her sexual and romantic love, then you’re going to start feeling more confident around her.
She’s going to be able to look at you and see that you believe in yourself.
You know that you’re good enough for her.
As a result, you behave in confident ways around her even when she’s not helping you feel more confident.
When she tests you and tries to make you feel insecure, it doesn’t work the way it used to.
You’re becoming more and more confident every day.
As a result, her attraction for you is growing stronger and stronger by the day.
Learn More?
Okay, I hope you enjoyed this video and learned something from it.
If you’d like to learn more about how to be confident in your relationship with your woman, I recommend that you watch or listen to my program Make Her Love You for Life.
When you watch or listen to the program, you will learn the ultimate approach to a relationship with a woman that increases her respect, sexual attraction and love for you over time.
You will also learn what to say and do, to always feel confident in the relationship and be in the position of power.
Making Her Feel the Way She Used to About You
One final point that I want to make for you in this video, is that if your woman has fallen out of love with you and the spark isn’t there anymore, it can be brought back to life.
As a smaller example: Think back to a time in the relationship where things were going well between you and her.
There would have been times where you said or did something that she didn’t like and made her feel turned off.
Then, you made an adjustment, you did it differently and she was happy with you.
Her attraction increased.
Her respect increased.
Essentially, what happens is that the way you approach interactions with your woman either increases her feelings of attraction or decreases her feelings of attraction.
It’s basically within your control.
The way that you approach your interactions with her determines everything.
So, when you start being more confident around her, you honestly believe in yourself and you start attracting her in ways that she hasn’t been expecting, she’s going to be able to look at you as the man that she was always hoping you would be.
You’re going to be able to see that she sincerely feels attracted to you and she really wants to be with you.
As a result, you feel confident in yourself and increasingly, you see that there’s no reason to feel insecure anymore.
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