How can you tell your ex that you want to have a relationship with her without scaring her off?
Here are the five things that you need to do.
1. Stop asking for a relationship
A mistake that guys make when they’re trying to get their ex woman back is to ask for a relationship before they’ve even re-attracted her.
For example: A guy will be saying things like, “Can I get another chance with you? Is the door still open? Can you think about it? I promise that things will be different this time,” and all those sorts of things.
Yet, it doesn’t work.
For the man, he wants the woman back because he feels attracted to her and he has feelings for her.
Yet, she’s thinking, “Why should I give you another chance?” and may even say that to him.
What guys do then is they start coming up with all reasons why she should give him another chance.
“Remember the good times. We used to be so good together. We had so many good times together. After all we’ve been through, we can’t just give up on our love now,” and things like that.
However, it just doesn’t feel right to the woman because she doesn’t feel attracted to him yet.
She’s thinking, “Well, yeah. Things may have been good in the past but what about now?”
When she interacts with you, she’s not feeling a spark of attraction so she doesn’t feel motivated to want to give the relationship another chance.
This is why point number two is…
2. Get her to feel attracted to you again
Every guy is different and every woman is different. Every relationship is different and every breakup is different.
However, when it comes to re-attracting your ex, it’s the same thing.
What I’ll show you here is what I call the masculinity scale.
This pretty much explains everything about where guys go wrong when trying to re-attract their ex and also why guys get dumped by their woman in the first place.
On the left hand side are the guys who got dumped for being too much of a wimp, being too much of a wuss.
What that means is that the guy was too insecure, too emotionally sensitive and he just wasn’t man enough for her.
Now, to the right hand side is the arrogant asshole type of guy and each guy is going to be different.
Some of the guys who took their woman for granted are not all the way to the right end of the scale, where they were a total asshole to their woman and the worst boyfriend or husband in the world.
Every guy is going to be somewhere along the scale to the right or the left and that will be the reason why the woman felt turned off by him.
So, with the guys on the left in the wimpy and wussy category, they got dumped for not being enough of a man for her.
The guys on the right, they got dumped because they were too aggressive, too heartless, too cold and too selfish.
The ideal man there in the center with his woman is a man who is confident in himself but is not arrogant.
He respects himself but he also respects her.
He is emotionally fearless and emotionally balanced.
What I mean by that is if you think about the guys on the left hand side, they’re usually going to be emotionally sensitive.
Guys like that will either withhold some of their true feelings or they’ll go way overboard and be pouring their heart out all the time.
They’ll be needy of their woman. They’ll need her reassurance that she loves him in order to feel good about themselves.
On the other hand, guys who head to the right hand, extreme of the masculinity scale, tend to be quite heartless or selfish.
For example: A guy might expect a woman to do everything for him and put up with his bad behavior.
He might focus way too much on work or he might be the type of guy who plays lots of video games and doesn’t really give his woman much attention at all. He expects her to put up with that and if she doesn’t like it, she can go get stuffed.
Obviously, that isn’t the ideal type of man for a woman.
So, when it comes to re-attracting your ex, it’s about being that ideal man, not being on one extreme or the other.
By the way…
Where masculinity comes into this scale is that if you think about the guys on either extreme end, you’ll realize that they both lack masculinity.
The guy on the left is just too soft and sensitive and wimpy, which is a lack of masculinity (i.e. balls, emotional toughness).
The guy on the right might seem masculine because he’s arrogant, he’s being an asshole and taking his woman for granted, but what you’ll find is that it’s due to insecurities and emotional issues that he has.
For example: He had a troubled childhood, he might have been dumped by a woman in the past and really hurt by that and now he’s trying to get revenge on a new woman.
He might also be kind of selfish towards a woman because he is afraid of giving too much of himself to her and then getting rejected.
So, going back to the center now, the ideal man, an ideal man is emotionally strong. He’s emotionally balanced.
He isn’t afraid to express his emotions but he doesn’t do it in a needy, insecure or wimpy type of way.
He doesn’t have insecurities and as a result, his woman can look up to him and respect him as her man.
3. Talk to her as though everything is cool between you and her
If you want to have a relationship with your ex again, you should be talking to her as though there isn’t a problem between you and her.
It’s almost as though you and her haven’t broken up.
Rather than talking to her as though you’re the rejected ex and you’re trying to get another chance with her, talk to her with the confidence that you had when you and her were cool with each other, when you were in love, when she was attracted to you and when things were good.
That’s how you should be talking to her.
When you talk to her in that manner, she naturally feels respect and attraction for you.
The situation between you and her doesn’t feel so awkward.
Of course, some women will test their guy when he starts talking to her with that type of confidence.
She might say, “Well, you talk to me like everything’s fine,” or, “Hey, we’re broken up so, you know, we shouldn’t be joking around like this,” or, “Don’t talk to me as though everything’s fine.”
Essentially, she just wants to see whether you are going to buckle under that pressure. Are you going to crumble under that little bit of pressure that she’s putting on you?
She wants to see how much of a man you really are right now.
You’ve been challenged by the breakup, you are the one who got rejected and dumped and now you want her back.
What she wants to see is that you can maintain your confidence in yourself, that you don’t become insecure and become that needy, insecure, self-doubting ex.
Women are not attracted to emotional weakness so you need to be strong.
4. Start by hooking up again
If you want to start the relationship again, do it without the discussion of, “Hey, can we have a relationship?” or “I want to be together forever,” and all that sort of stuff.
Do it by re-attracting her and hooking up with her sexually and being the ideal man.
Be the sort of man that she can look up to and respect.
Be the sort of man that she can feel happy around.
Be the sort of man that she can feel attracted and in love with again.
If you do that and you hook up with her, then the relationship just naturally gets back together.
5. Don’t rush to get her to commit
Women are turned off by desperation and neediness from a man.
They want to see that a man is confident in himself regardless of how a woman is behaving.
If you hook up with her and the relationship gets back together, don’t rush to get her to commit to that.
Don’t put pressure on her to commit to being your girlfriend again or your wife or your fiancée,
if that applies to you. Just get back with her, believe in yourself, be the ideal man and continue on having a relationship together.
The relationship that you have this time around will be better than it was before because you are going to be an improved man.
You’re not going to be somewhere on the left hand side or the right hand side of the masculinity scale.
You’re going to be right in the center.
You’re going to be that ideal man that she can respect, feel attracted to and be in love with.
Asking Rather Than Attracting
To close up here, one final point that I’ll make is that a lot of guys fail at getting their woman back because they keep asking for a relationship rather than making her feel attracted again.
When I’ve worked on ex back cases, I’ve often found that the woman is giving signals to the guy that she’s open to having a relationship but she just wants him to make her feel attracted to him first.
For example: She might say, “Look, I love you as a person but I’m just not in love with you anymore,” or, “What we had was good, but I’m just not feeling the spark anymore.”
She’s essentially saying, “Hey, create a spark with me. Make me feel attracted to you again. I haven’t fully closed the door on us yet so just create that spark.”
Yet, the mistake that guys make is that they just keep asking for the relationship.
“Come on. Please don’t forget what we experienced in the past. I love you so much. You mean everything to me. I’ll do anything. I promise that I’ll change. Things will be different this time.”
No.
She doesn’t want a promise about how things could be or might be.
She wants to see that things are different now.
When she interacts with you, she’s got to be able to feel that spark.
If you can do that, her guard comes down and you can guide her back into a relationship.
Learn More
I hope this video has helped you and if you need more help to get your ex back, I recommend that you watch my program, Get Your Ex Back Super System
It’s 10 hours of video and when you watch the program, you’ll learn exactly what to say and do to get her back.
You will learn how to make her feel respect for you, make her feel attraction and fall back in love with you again.
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