Here are 5 common reasons why that will happen to you:
1. 30 or 60 days of No Contact probably isn’t going to be enough for you to fully get over her
Fact: The No Contact Rule doesn’t work for most guys.
Many guys end up missing their ex woman for many months, years or even decades after the break up.
A guy will try to forget his ex woman, but he will continue to think, “She was the one for me. I don’t know if I can ever truly love a woman again because I know that I want her. I just want to be with her again. If I had her back, I would be happy. I know it.”
This is one of the reasons why No Contact just doesn’t work for most guys.
A guy is essentially stuck in limbo as he waits for No Contact to miraculously make her come running back to him.
Since he can’t stop thinking about her and worrying that she will move on, he becomes even needier for her than ever before.
Then, when he finally gets in touch with her after 30 or 60 days and she senses that he needs her back, she feels even more turned off by him, especially if she is now happy and enjoying life without him.
So, if you want to stop thinking about your ex during No Contact and just start getting her back, the first step is for you to begin feeling emotionally independent (i.e. know that you can and will be happy without her).
This doesn’t mean that you don’t want her back.
You do and that’s okay.
Yet, you need to get rid of the neediness that the NC rule has been making you feel.
How can you begin getting rid of the neediness?
Start by seeing your purpose in life (i.e. your biggest goals, dreams and ambitions) as the most important thing to you, rather than looking at your ex for your sense of identity or purpose in life.
Note: It’s completely fine for a man make a woman the most important person in his life, but he shouldn’t ever make her the most important thing in his life.
Women resent being the most important thing in your life.
She is happy to become the most important person if she earns it (i.e. by being a good girl to you), but she doesn’t want that position if she isn’t treating you well or giving you what you want from a relationship.
So, from this moment onwards, in addition to going through the ex back process to get her back, you also need to begin to focus on yourself and on your own dreams and ambitions.
When you do that, something amazing happens.
You naturally become more confident and self-assured.
You feel great about yourself and you feel more valuable as a man.
When that happens, you automatically become more attractive to your ex because you’re now displaying some of the characteristics that women are naturally attracted to (e.g. confidence, emotional strength, emotional masculinity, drive and determination, purpose in life)
As a result, when you finally break No Contact and interact with her on a phone call or in person and she sees that you’re so much more confident, self-assured and emotionally independent now, she will begin seeing at you as a man that she can now look up to, respect and feel proud to be associated with.
Her guard will then come down and she will open herself up to being in a relationship with you once again.
On the other hand, if all you do during No Contact is waste time thinking about her and not making any progress in your life without her, when you finally interact with her, she will sense that you’ve been stuck and lost without her.
She will say something along the lines of, “Look, it’s been so long since we talked that I’ve moved on already. There’s no chance of us getting back together now, so please accept that and don’t contact me again. Okay? Thanks for calling, but you’ve got to accept that it’s over between us. We had our chance, but that chance has now passed. Goodbye.”
So, don’t waste time with the NC rule when it won’t work on your ex.
If you want her back for real, you should take control of the ex back process rather than messing up your chances by thinking that all women fall for the no contact trick.
Another common reason why you can’t stop thinking about your ex during No Contact is…
2. You’ve been focused on the problem, rather than on the solution
What is the problem?
Thinking things like, “She doesn’t want to be with me anymore,” “It’s been a couple of weeks since we broke up and she still hasn’t contacted me,” “Why isn’t she missing me as much as I’m missing her?” or, “What if I call her after the No Contact period is over and she rejects me?”
Thinking like that doesn’t get you anywhere.
It’s just focusing on the problem and not on the solution.
When you focus on the problem and think that you have no chance with her, it can erode your confidence and belief in yourself, which might then prevent you from taking action to get her back or turn her off when she senses your insecurity and self-doubt.
So, what should you do instead?
Start re-attracting her.
The No Contact Rule says you need to wait at least 30 days before you contact your ex, but the question you need to ask yourself is, “Do I want to get my ex back as quickly as possible, or do I want to mess around for a few weeks or months waiting and hoping that she magically comes running back to me for some reason?”
In almost all ex back cases, for a man to get a woman back, he needs to be active rather than passive about the ex back process.
In other words, he needs to actively interact with his ex woman (e.g. on the phone and in person) and make her feel sparks of respect, sexual attraction and love for him again, so she naturally wants to get back with him now or soon after.
This is why you need to stop sitting around thinking about the problem (i.e. you’re trying the no contact approach and it’s not working) and start focusing on implementing a real, practical solution to get her back now or very soon.
By the way…
Based on my vast experience helping thousands of men to get ex women back, I’ve found that there’s absolutely no reason why a man should cut off contact for more than 7 days.
A week (or 7 days) proves the point that you’re not being needy and desperate.
After that (or sooner in many cases), you need to contact her and start re-attracting her, so she naturally wants you back.
Another common reason why you can’t stop thinking about your ex during No Contact is…
3. You know that she doesn’t have much or any motivation to pursue you
In most cases, a woman will break up with a guy when she has reached a point in the relationship where she is completely fed up with him (e.g. she has given him a number of chances to change and improve and he always goes back to making the same old mistakes).
So, if her ex uses the No Contact Rule as his way of hopefully getting her back, rather than make her panic and think, “On no! Why is he ignoring me? What could that mean? Is it possible that he’s over me? Could he already have found someone else? I have to get him back!” she will simply feel relieved that her ex isn’t pursuing her, because she no longer has feelings for him anyway.
She then uses the space to move on with a new guy and forget about her ex.
In the meantime, because her ex isn’t doing anything to re-attract her, he will be worrying about whether or not the NC rule is going to work on her.
He might then spend weeks or even months waiting for her to miss him enough to reach out to him, only to eventually find out that she’s over him, has moved on and is possibly even in love with a new man.
So, here’s what you need to get clear on…
If your ex doesn’t have romantic feelings for you anymore, your absence from her life probably won’t be enough to make her want you back.
She will probably just use the time apart to move on and begin enjoying life without you.
Another common reason why you can’t stop thinking about your ex during No Contact is…
4. You’re worried that she will find another guy more interesting and attractive and then stop missing you
Sometimes a guy feels very lucky to have gotten with his woman because she is more beautiful, interesting and appealing than any other woman he has ever dated.
As a result, in the relationship, he may end up thinking, “She’s way out of my league. If we ever break up, she will be able to find herself another guy who is much better than me (i.e. more good looking, has more money, is more successful), but I will be left behind heartbroken and won’t be able to attract a woman of her quality easily.”
If they break up and he then decides to use No Contact as a way of getting her back, he probably won’t be able to stop thinking about her during that time.
He will be worrying as he imagines her hooking up with another guy and enjoying it more than she enjoyed it with him.
Another common reason why you can’t stop thinking about your ex during No Contact is…
5. You’re using the wrong approach for your situation
No Contact usually only works if a woman has strong feelings for her ex, can’t deal with the pain of the break up, or can’t easily find a replacement guy.
In pretty much every other situation, a woman will be happy not to be hearing from her ex because it will give her more time to find someone else and move on.
So, if No Contact hasn’t worked on her after a week, it probably won’t work at all and you may end up losing your ex to another guy.
This is why I recommend that you contact her right away (preferably on a phone call, or even better, see her in person) and start re-attracting her sexually and romantically.
Make her laugh and smile and feel good to be hearing from you again.
Flirt with her to reawaken some of her sexual and romantic feelings for you.
The more attracted you make her feel when interacting with her, the more open she will become to getting back with you.
So, stop ignoring her and get the job done.
Get her back, rather than hiding away behind the NC rule and hoping that it will work on her one day.
You can use the NC approach if you want, but based on my vast experience helping guys to get women back, No Contact probably isn’t going to work for you.
What I see work, day in and day out, is when a man actively re-attracts his ex woman and then doesn’t push for a relationship.
In other words, he makes her want him again and then doesn’t put any pressure on her to commit to anything.
He then naturally starts to feel drawn to him, opens up and he can then get her back.
3 Common Problems That Guys Encounter When Using No Contact On an Ex Woman
If you decide to use No Contact on your ex and ignore her for 30 or 60 days, make sure you’re prepared for the following possible consequences…
1. She never contacts you ever again
When a woman breaks up with a guy, it’s usually because she has lost so much respect and attraction for him that the idea of staying in a relationship with him makes her feel miserable.
So, when she doesn’t hear from him after the break up, rather than getting upset and thinking, “Oh no! He’s not calling me. This is terrible. I need to get in touch with him right away in case he meets another woman and moves on,” she feels happy and relieved.
She then moves on and begins to forget about her ex.
Then, when her ex finally gets in touch with her after 30 or 60 days, he is shocked to discover that she has moved on and is happy without him.
Another possible consequence to using No Contact is…
2. She wants to contact you, but doesn’t contact you because she’s afraid of being rejected
In some cases, even though they are broken up, a woman will still have some feelings for her ex.
Secretly, she will hope they can work things out and get back together.
Yet, when she doesn’t hear from him, she naturally starts to doubt his feelings for her.
She may ask herself, “Why isn’t he calling me? I really thought he still cared for me and that we had a chance of getting back together. His actions aren’t showing me that though. Instead, I’m getting the feeling that he’s already moved on, or that he doesn’t care enough to get me back. Maybe I should phone him to see why he’s ignoring me, but I’m worried that he will reject me and tell me that he doesn’t want anything to do with me anymore. Well, I guess I’m going to have to forget about him and try to move on instead.”
She then puts in all of her effort into getting over him (often by quickly getting into a new relationship with a guy that has had a crush on her, or hooking up with new guys until she finds one who wants a relationship) and moving on.
Then, when her ex finally gets in touch, she says something along the lines of, “I’m not sure why you’re calling me now. I honestly believed that you and I had a chance, but clearly you didn’t care to try. I thought you had moved on, so I forced myself to do the same. I’m with someone else now and I’m happy, so it’s too late for us. Please don’t call me again.”
Another consequence to using No Contact could be…
3. She contacts you out of curiosity, but you’re not ready to make her feel attracted, so she loses interest
Sometimes a woman will wonder, “Why isn’t he calling me? What is he up to?” and will then make the first move to contact her ex.
Yet, when she gets in touch and experiences the same old guy with the same type of insecurities and underlying issues that caused her to break up with him in the first place (e.g. he lacks confidence and self-belief, is submissive around her, he hasn’t grown up and matured), she makes an excuse to hang up the phone or stop texting.
If he then tries to call her again, she will either just ignore him outright, or she will say something like, “Look, we can still be friends if you want, but nothing more. I’m not interested in being in a relationship with you anymore. I’m sorry if I gave you the wrong idea.”
He’s then left wondering why No Contact didn’t work on her.
Here’s the thing…
No Contact is not the magic solution to fixing a broken relationship with any woman.
In fact, cutting off contact and waiting for a woman to come back often causes even more problems than it fixes.
So what should you do instead?
Firstly, don’t ignore your ex for longer than a week.
Then, get her on a call, make her laugh, smile and feel good to be hearing from you.
The, get her to agree to catch up with you and say in person.
Then, at the meet up, fully reactivate her feelings for you and get her back.
Important: Make sure that you are fully prepared to re-attract her at the meet up.
Don’t just meet up with her, be nice and friendly and hope that she will want you back.
When you meet up with her, you have to be ready to re-attract her sexually and romantically and then at least get to a hug and potentially a kiss.
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