Yes, you can get her to forgive you.
Here’s what you need to do:
1. Apologize, but don’t grovel
Obviously, if you haven’t already done so, you should start the ex back process by apologizing to her for what you said.
A heartfelt apology won’t fix everything instantly, but it will go a long way towards making things better between you and her.
If she can see that you are genuinely sorry for insulting her, she will at least begin to feel a bit better about what happened.
From there, you can begin clearing away the negative emotions that she has been feeling by making her feel a renewed sense of respect and attraction for you (e.g. being confident under pressure, using humor to get her laughing, being charismatic and charming, making her feel girly in comparison to your masculine vibe, letting her feel and experience the changes in you as she interacts with you).
That is even more important than the apology, because after you’ve said the apology, she’s going to quickly lose interest in talking further if she’s not feeling sparks of respect and attraction for you again.
So, when you apologize to her, make sure that you don’t do it in an emotionally weak and wimpy way (i.e. don’t grovel), otherwise she will feel turned off even more.
For example: A guy sometimes feels so bad for getting angry and insulting his ex when she broke up with him, that he might then beg and plead with her to give him another chance, which only turns her off even more.
He might become desperate and say, “I’m so sorry! I don’t know what came over me! I’m such a jerk and I will never forgive myself for hurting you like that. I just can’t eat or sleep properly thinking about the way I insulted you. I promise that nothing I said to you in anger was actually true. I didn’t mean any of it. It’s just that the thought of losing you made me go crazy and I lost my mind for a moment there. Please forgive me for saying those things to you. I regret it so much. I beg you to just give me another chance to prove to you how much I care. I don’t know what I would do if you said you couldn’t forgive me. Please, please, please say that you can forgive me!”
He’s hoping that if she sees how devastated he is, she will then think, “Oh, okay. It’s obvious that he really, really loves me and that the idea of losing me was too much for him to bear. That’s why he was angry and that’s why he insulted me. If it was just because he loved me so much, then it’s fine. In fact, I’m actually quite flattered now that I think about it. Maybe he’s not so that bad after all. He just loves me so much.”
Unfortunately, a woman has a brain and it usually works well for her, so she can see right through what he is saying.
To her, he’s just offering her a bunch of words and potentially empty promises.
He’s also trying to excuse his anger and emotional immaturity by saying that it was all about love.
Yes, it might have been, but it’s not an excuse that a woman is going to swallow.
So, whatever you do, make sure that you don’t grovel, try to suck up to her or try to explain your anger away as being based on love.
Instead, just give her an apology and accept what you did as being a silly thing that you have now learned from.
You’re not immediately asking her for another chance and instead, you are just giving her the apology, accepting what you did and letting that be said.
To help make her accept the apology, you can…
2. Tell her that you were being silly (or immature) and can now see that
For example: You might say something like, “I just wanted to say that I’m truly sorry for the way I insulted you when you broke up with me. I now realize how utterly silly it was of me to behave that way. I was being completely childish and immature, so I lashed out at you for the way I was feeling. It was wrong of me to say those things and I see that now. I’m not asking you to give me another chance. I just want to say that I’m sorry and I get it now. I reacted in a such a silly, immature way.”
By calmly apologizing to your ex in that way, while also being emotionally mature enough to admit your mistake, it shows her that you’ve moved past the level you were at when she broke up with you.
You can then also…
3. Laugh at how you behaved and tell her that you don’t blame her if she hates you for what you said
Laugh and add, “By the way…I wouldn’t blame you if you hated me forever now. What an idiot I was” and have a laugh about it with her.
By laughing at yourself, it shows her that you’re no longer the angry, selfish guy who insulted her because she was dumping him.
Instead, you’ve learned from the experience and have already taken steps to become a better, more emotionally strong and mature man.
As a result, she doesn’t have to keep her guard up so high with you anymore.
She can relax, smile, laugh and start to feel good around you again.
When she does that, she then becomes open to forgiving your mistakes and giving the relationship another chance.
So, once you can see that her guard has come down a little bit, you need to…
4. Get her to forgive you for her benefit
Initially, your ex might be resistant to the idea of forgiving you.
She may feel as though you’re just asking her to forgive you so you can feel better about behaving like such a jerk, rather than having to live with the shame for the rest of your life.
So, letting you off the hook and taking away your guilt for insulting her, might not be something that she will want to do right away.
She might want to really make you suffer for a while, for putting her through the pain that she went through.
If she is thinking in that way, she will play hard to get and potentially even make it out to be worse than it really was.
For example: She might say, “You really scared me that day, you know? I haven’t been able to sleep properly since. I’ve been having nightmares.”
If you sense that she is exaggerating or being dramatic for extra pity and attention, just laugh at her for being such a wimpy or a scaredy cat.
Of course, laugh at her in a loving way, not in a demeaning way.
Laugh at her as though you feel sorry for her for being such a cute, little girl, while at the same time, being genuine about your apology for behaving like a jerk.
Anyway, all that aside…
You need to make sure that you get her to forgive you.
If she’s unwilling to forgive you because she is playing hard to get, then get her to forgive you for her own benefit.
How?
Simple.
By telling her that forgiving you is for her own benefit.
Explain to her that if she doesn’t forgive you, she will always be going through life feeling angry and bitter about what happened with you and it will most-likely cause her problems with future relationships.
That way, she has a reason to want to genuinely forgive you.
When she does forgive you for her own benefit, it then automatically makes her stop looking at you in a negative way because she recognizes that who you are now and who you were when you got angry are two different people.
You have changed as a man by learning from the experience and genuinely apologizing to her for it.
She can see that the old version of you got angry in the heat of the moment, but the new you is so much more mature and emotionally strong.
She may then even start to think to herself, “Well, I guess he only insulted me because I broke up with him and he couldn’t handle the pain of losing me. He obviously still cares for me. So, I can’t blame him entirely for everything. Maybe I can forgive him. He’s different now. He seems to have learned his lesson.”
When she goes through that emotional transition, she automatically starts to feel better about interacting with the new and improved you.
She finds it easier to clearly see that you have changed and are no longer the same man she broke up with.
So, to get her to forgive you for her own benefit, you can say something like, “Before you say anything else and possibly even tell me that you can never forgive me for what I said to you, I want you to think about one thing. Forgiving me actually has less to do with taking away my guilt, as it does with letting you get on with your life without having to carry the baggage of what happened. Forgiving me is what you need to do for you. Forgiving me for what happened is what is needed for you to be able to move forward and make a fresh start, without taking all the anger and bad feelings with you. If you forgive me, you will feel better about your future without me. You won’t have to go around feeling that knot in your stomach every time you think of how our relationship fell apart and how badly I acted in the end. You will feel lighter knowing that even though I made some mistakes in the relationship and made it even worse by getting angry and insulting you when we broke up, I learned from that and am no longer the same guy. I’ve grown from the experience and I’m a better man as a result. So, forgiving me is the part of the process of moving on. Yes, I stuffed up, but is that something you want to hold on to and carry around with you for the rest of your life? It’s just not worth it. So, what do you say? Can you forgive the old version of me? Can you accept that I did make mistakes, but that it is in the past and forgive me for it?”
Important: Saying something like the above to her is not about encouraging her to move on and have another relationship.
Instead, you’re showing her that you’re mature enough to give her the freedom to not have baggage in a future relationship with someone else.
When she realizes that she has freedom and isn’t being forced back into a relationship with you, she automatically stops looking at you in a negative way and is more able to genuinely forgive you.
She stops thinking about how you got angry and insulted her when she broke up with you and begins to look at you with respect.
From there, get her to…
5. Agree to meet up as friends to say hello
Once your ex has forgiven you for getting angry and insulting her, as well as for some of your past mistakes, her guard will really start to come down.
She will become more open to talking to you and seeing you in person and you can then get her to agree to meet up with you to say hello as friends.
It can be a goodbye catch up if she wants it to be labelled as that, but just make sure that she meets up with you in person and you don’t get stuck in a text conversation, or stuck having occasional phone calls that go nowhere.
For example: You can say to her, “I’m glad that we’ve managed to get to this point where we can talk to each other like friends again” and let her say something.
Then, add in, “You and I are broken up now and I accept that” and let her say something.
Then, add in, “Now look, before we go our separate ways and never talk to each other again, I’d really like it if we could catch up for a quick coffee as friends to say goodbye in a friendly way.”
Then, go ahead and make plans to meet her as soon as you both have an opening in your schedules.
6. Get her back at the meet up
When you meet up with your ex, you need to keep saying and doing the types of things that will make her see you in a new light and convince her to give you another chance.
No matter how much she tries to make you feel bad for what happened in the relationship or for getting angry and insulting her, you must maintain your confidence and use humor to stop her from seeing you as the man you were before.
Turn her negative comments into something that you can both laugh about together.
Make her smile and laugh and show her that you really are a new and improved man now.
Yes, you got angry and insulted her when she broke up with you, but that was the old you.
You’re not that guy anymore.
No matter how much she tries to push your buttons and make you feel annoyed, you remain positive, easy-going and confident.
When she sees that you’re being a confident, emotionally mature guy around her when she is trying to annoy you, she won’t be able to stop herself from feeling respect for you again.
When she feels respect, she will also be able to feel sexual and romantic attraction and when that happens, her walls will begin to come down and she will imagine what it would be like if you and her got back together.
From there, it’s up to you to open her eyes to the fact that falling back in love with each other will be even better than it was the first time.
You can make her realize that by actively triggering her feelings of respect, attraction and love as you interact with her.
When she realizes that she will be getting back into a relationship with a completely different man than before (i.e. a guy who is now more confident, emotionally strong and mature), she will naturally feel curious and possibly even excited about getting back together again.
4 Mistakes That Guys Often Make When in Your Situation
It’s not only you who has made the mistake of getting angry and insulting your woman as she broke up with you.
A lot of guys mess up in that way.
So, don’t beat yourself up about it.
That said, make sure that from now on, you do what works to get her back.
For example: Guys who find themselves in a similar situation to you, often make mistakes, such as…
1. Repeatedly apologizing via text
When a woman is angry with her ex and is refusing to see him or talk to him, he might feel that the only way to get through to her is via text.
He might then send her walls of texts apologizing to her and saying things like, “Please forgive me for what I said. I was so hurt that you were breaking up with me that I lost my mind. I know it’s no excuse for insulting you, but I truly regret it. I didn’t mean any of it. Please give me a chance to make it up to you.”
Yet, rather than make her forgive him, it only annoys her even more. Why?
Since she can’t see his body language or hear the tonality of his voice, rather than give him the benefit of the doubt, a woman will usually assume the worst of him.
She will assume that he’s just being a coward who doesn’t have the balls to talk to her over the phone or face-to-face and apologize for being a jerk.
Sure, she isn’t making it easy for him to call her, but he needs to man up and figure out how to pass that test of his confidence and resolve.
If he can’t do that and just sticks to text, she will lose respect for him.
Although he might be 100% sincere when he is texting her and apologizing, she will see it as an empty apology or a promise that he probably couldn’t even fulfill.
Why?
She has no real life evidence of the new and improved him.
She is judging him on how he behaved before.
Another mistake guys often make is…
2. Acting as if he committed the worst crime in the world when in reality, he was just being immature and now realizes his mistake
Okay, so you stuffed up.
Big deal.
So many guys react in that way.
Yes, it was wrong, but it is done.
It’s over now.
So, going on and on about it isn’t going to help you and it certainly isn’t going to be the thing that reawakens your ex’s feelings for you either.
Just let it go.
You made a mistake, but you have learned your lesson and are a better man because of it.
If you get sucked into thinking that you’re the worst boyfriend/husband in the world now that you’ve made that mistake, you will be making it a bigger problem than it actually is.
Everyone makes mistakes.
Her included.
What matters now though is that you really have changed, can get her to see the funny side of what happened and can get her to feel sparks of respect, attraction and love for you.
If you focus on that, you will get her back.
Yet, if you focus on how bad you are and let her go on and on about it, she will feel repulsed and want to get away from you.
Another mistake that some guys make in your situation is…
3. Feeling unwelcome to flirt with her and build up sexual tension
Some guys make the mistake of thinking that flirting with an ex is wrong.
A guy like that believes that it’s not his place anymore and if he steps out of line, she will get angry and he will then lose any chance he might have had of getting her back.
Yet, the opposite is actually true.
If a guy is not actively making his ex feel sexually attracted to him anymore, she’s not going to feel much or any motivation to want to give him another chance at a sexual, romantic relationship.
She might be feeling friendly or neutral emotions him at best, but at worst, she may be feeling repulsed or annoyed by him.
So, if you truly want your ex to forgive you for getting angry and insulting her and give you another chance, don’t be afraid to flirt with her to create sexual tension between you and her.
When you create sexual tension, she then naturally has the desire to want to release that tension with hugging, kissing and sex.
As a result, it makes it so much easier for you to get her back.
Another mistake that other guys tend to make in your situation is…
4. Feeling unwelcome to meet up with her
Even though your ex might currently be saying things like, “Just leave me alone. You insulted me and treated me like crap. I don’t want you in my life anymore and I don’t want to meet up,” you shouldn’t give up on seeing her in person again.
Instead, you need to maintain your confidence and believe in yourself, which will automatically attract her even if she doesn’t want it to.
For example: You can say something along the lines of, “Hey, I know that you’re mad at me right now, but all I’m asking for is 10 minutes to have coffee and say goodbye to each other in a friendly way now. If you never want to see me again after the coffee, I will respect your wishes and never contact you again. So, how about it? What day this week would suit you best?”
Then, just go ahead and make plans to meet her at a time that suits you both.
When you trigger her feelings of respect and sexual attraction at the meet up, she will start to see you in a different light.
She will stop feeling so hurt about the fact that you got angry and insulted her and will start seeing you as the new and improved man that you have become.
Her defenses will then come down and you can then get her back.
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