5 things you should do now:
1. Get clear on what your ex will need to feel to want you back too
Start by asking yourself, “What made my ex stop feeling respect, attraction and love for me?”
For example:
Maybe you were too indecisive about what you wanted from life or the relationship, so she always felt unsure about her future with you.
Maybe you were too focused on living a carefree life, hanging out with your friends or playing video games, which then caused her to feel as though she was more emotionally mature than you.
Maybe you were too nice and accommodating (e.g. always letting her get her way), so she felt too dominant in the relationship when she actually wanted to be in the one down position in terms of dominance.
Maybe you treated her more like your best friend than a sexy, desirable woman, so she started to feel the need to flirt with other men who would see her that way.
Maybe you felt really lucky to be her boyfriend (causing you to become insecure and clingy due to the fear of losing her), so she ended up feeling smothered by you.
The causes of a break up are always different for each relationship, so you have to find the reasons that are the most relevant to you and your ex.
Here’s a video of mine that will give you more insight into where you went wrong and how to fix that and get her back…
Once you know where you went wrong, I recommend that you…
2. Test out new attraction methods on your new girlfriend, to prepare yourself to successfully re-attract your ex when you next interact with her or meet up with her
The benefit of having a new girlfriend while wanting your ex back, is that you’ve got yourself a woman that you test things out on.
For example: If you allowed your ex to be more emotionally dominant than you in the relationship (e.g. make all the decisions, get her way all the time), focus on being the kind of man who takes charge and doesn’t allow himself to be pushed around in your current relationship.
So, if your new girlfriend tries to take control of the relationship (e.g. she throws a tantrum or creates drama just to get her way), rather than give in to her like you did in the past, try to react differently (e.g. turn her tantrum into something you can laugh about together).
Initially, she might be a bit shocked that you’re not taking her drama so seriously anymore, because she’s so used to you giving in to her.
Yet, whether she openly admits it or not, she will be feeling a tremendous amount of respect and sexual attraction for you for reacting that way (i.e. not allowing her to dominate you and take control of the relationship by way of tantrums and emotional outbursts).
At the same time, you will have improved yourself in a way that will be attractive to your ex girlfriend, if one of the reasons why she left you was that you lacked manliness in the relationship and let her gain too much power over you.
Another example is if you treated your ex more like your friend than your lover.
With your new girlfriend, focus on making her feel feminine and girly in contrast to your masculine vibe (i.e. talk in a masculine way, behave in a masculine way, touch her while exuding a masculine vibe, look at her while exuding a masculine vibe).
Again, by changing the way you interact with your new girlfriend (i.e. being emotionally masculine), you become the kind of man that your ex will naturally feel attracted to.
Once you’ve tested out new attraction techniques, methods and examples on your new girlfriend, you should…
3. Contact your ex and use the new attraction methods to make her see you in a new light
So, if you’re still on speaking terms with your ex (e.g. you’ve been texting each other from time to time, or keeping in touch via social media), get her on a phone call with you, or get her to meet up with you so you can catch up and say hi in person.
If you get her on a phone call, be confident and allow her to sense that you have changed and improved some of the things that matter to her.
For example: If she tries to test whether she can dominate you emotionally by saying something along the lines of, “Why are you calling me? You have a new girlfriend now. What we had is over,” use it as a chance to show her the new and improved you.
Rather than taking her so seriously, just laugh and say something along the lines of, “Hey, I’m just calling to say hello as a friend. We can do that, right? It’s no big deal. You’re such a little drama queen, aren’t you?” and have a laugh with her about that.
Alternatively, if she acts cold and aloof to make you feel nervous and insecure, just maintain your confidence and use some humor to ease the tension.
The more you pass her little tests of your confidence, the more her guard will come down.
Then, when you ask her to meet up with you, she’ll most likely say “Yes,” because she will want to experience the new and improved you in person.
By the way…
If you haven’t had any contact with your ex since the break up or are afraid that she won’t answer your call, then just send her this text:
“Hey…how’s things? I hope all is well. I know that you and I are broken up and I totally accept that. However, I need to ask you something quick over the phone. It’s not serious, so don’t worry! ☺ I’ll call you in 10 minutes.”
Then, go ahead and call her in 10 minutes time.
If she texts you back and asks, “What do you want to ask me?” just call her, rather than replying to her text and explaining yourself.
If she doesn’t answer your call, just wait for a few days and then try to call her again.
If she still doesn’t answer, text her this:
“Hey… I tried calling you yesterday/the other day to ask you something, but you must have been busy. No problem. I’ll call again in 10 minutes to ask you this question…”
In most cases, a woman will be curious to know what you want to ask her, so she will answer her phone right away.
Once you get her on a call with you, use your new attraction methods (e.g. being emotionally masculine, maintaining your confidence regardless of what she says or does, using humor to break down her defenses, respond differently to the way she’s expecting) to begin to reactivate her feelings of respect and attraction for you.
Then…
4. Meet up with your ex just as friends, but re-attract her and hook up with her
When your ex is laughing, smiling and enjoying talking to you again, you can go ahead and ask her to meet up with you in person.
For example: You can say something along the lines of, “Anyway… it’s been great chatting with you again. We should catch up sometime this week to say hi as friends. It’ll be fun.”
If you’ve re-attracted her properly before asking her to catch up, she will almost certainly agree to meet, even if it’s only to see if you really have changed, or if it’s just an act to get her back.
At the meet up, focus on saying and doing more of the things that spark your ex’s feelings for you (e.g. maintaining your confidence with her regardless of what she does to make you feel nervous or unsure of yourself, using humor to break down her walls, flirting with her to create sexual tension, making her feel feminine in comparison to your masculinity).
If she is feeling attracted to you at the meet up, getting a goodbye hug from her should happen naturally and easily.
Don’t skip the goodbye hug part because you’re worried about being too pushy, especially if things have been going so well.
Instead, when you and your ex are getting ready to leave, just say something along the lines of, “Okay, it was good seeing you again. Bring it in for a goodbye hug.”
Then, just take her in your arms and give her a nice, long, warm hug.
If she seems open (i.e. she squeezes you back and looks you in the eyes with a smile), lean in and give her a kiss as well.
In many cases, a woman will then be open to hooking up with her ex sexually that day or night, even though she won’t openly admit it.
So, if everything is going well, head back to her place or yours and get it on.
By the way…
If she’s unwilling to go any further than a hug or a kiss, don’t worry.
The important thing is that you’ve broken down her defenses and planted seeds of doubt in her mind about her decision to break up with you.
From there…
5. Get her back, leave your new girlfriend and enjoy the new relationship with your ex
Once you’ve hooked up with your ex and reawakened her feelings, she will naturally become more open to getting back together again.
So, continue to make her laugh and smile and feel good every time you interact with her, until she’s the one saying things like, “Maybe we made a mistake by breaking up. Maybe we should try again.”
At that point, she will naturally want to get back with you and she’ll feel happy and excited about doing it.
Once you and her are back together again, go ahead and break up with your new girlfriend (e.g. “You’re a lovely girl and I enjoyed our time together, but I don’t want to continue the relationship. I’m still not over my ex and we’re going to patch things up between us, so I want to tell you now, rather than seeing both of you at the same time.”)
Then, go ahead and enjoy the great times ahead together as a couple with your ex, who will now be your loving girlfriend again.
5 Mistakes to Avoid When Wanting an Ex Girlfriend Back
You can get your ex girlfriend back, but if you make one or more of the following mistakes, the chance will likely slip through your fingers and you will miss out on what could have been…
1. Waiting too long to make a move and she then moves on
In some cases, when a woman sees that her ex boyfriend has moved on and is already seeing another woman, she might decide to remain single for a little while to see if he will change his mind and then try to get her back.
Even if she feels jealous about her ex having a new girlfriend and secretly wants him back, a woman usually won’t make it obvious to him.
Instead, she may open herself up to interacting with him (via text, social media, over the phone and in person where possible) in the hopes that something will develop between them again.
Yet, if she notices that he’s not making a move and seems happy with the new girl, she might then begin to focus on getting over him; usually by hooking up with other guys.
So, if you want your ex girlfriend back, don’t wait too long to make a move because by the time you make up your mind, it might be too late.
The next mistake is to avoid is…
2. Not preparing to properly re-attract your ex when you next interact with her
If you try to get your ex back without first improving your ability to attract her in the ways that really matter to her (e.g. putting her back in her place in a dominant, but loving way if she is being rude or selfish, making her feel loved and appreciated, but doing it in a non-needy way), she will feel as though you just don’t understand her.
As a result, her guard will remain up and she won’t want to let it down to give you a chance to seduce her back into a relationship.
So, if you want your ex girlfriend back, focus on changing and improving what she really wants and then let her experience the new and improved you when you interact with her on a phone call or in person.
The next mistake to avoid is…
3. Hoping that she will make all the moves to get you back
Sometimes a guy makes the mistake of thinking that a woman is going to lead the ex back process for him.
That does happen in some cases, but if a woman no longer feels attracted to her ex boyfriend and is quite happy with her decision to leave him, she’s just going to move on without him, unless he has the courage and skill to re-attract her and get her back.
Unfortunately, many guys don’t realize that until it’s too late (i.e. they watch on in disappointment as their ex girlfriend finds a new guy, gets engaged, gets married, has children and completely settles down with a new man).
Here’s the thing…
A woman usually wants to know that her man is confident enough to lead the way and do what needs to be done to get her back.
If he does that, she can then look up to him, respect him and feel sexually attracted to him because he is clearly the man (i.e. he is emotionally fearless and strong).
Unfortunately, a lot of guys don’t want to do that, or in some cases, they don’t know that they should, so they wait around in the hope their ex girlfriend makes all the moves to get him back.
Yet, that approach rarely, if ever works if the woman is no longer attracted to her ex boyfriend.
So, if you want your ex back, you have to be a man about it and take the lead, rather than waiting for her to do everything for you.
Another mistake to avoid is…
4. Giving up on your ex if she doesn’t show a lot of interest when you first contact her
Most women won’t fall into their ex boyfriend’s arms the moment he tries to get her back, especially if he already has another girlfriend.
Instead, she will wait to see if her ex is serious about getting her back, or if he’s just messing around with her (i.e. sending out feeler texts to see if she is still missing him and when she confirms that she is, he feels good about himself and stops pursuing her).
Additionally, a woman will usually also want to make sure that her ex boyfriend really has changed and improved some of the things that caused her to break up with him (e.g. his lack of confidence, his inability to stand up for himself to her and to other people, his emotional sensitivity, his negative attitude, his selfishness, his neediness), before she opens herself up to him again.
So, rather than making it easy for him, an ex girlfriend will often be cold and distant to see how her ex guy reacts.
For example: She might reply to a text with something like, “What do you want? You already have another girlfriend. Why are you wasting time with me? We’re finished. Just leave me alone. There’s nothing between us anymore.”
A guy might then doubt himself and his chances of getting her back and then give up, because he doesn’t realize that she is almost certainly testing his seriousness about getting her back and/or his confidence in himself and his attractiveness to her.
So, if you want your ex back, don’t give up at the first sign of resistance from her.
As long as you continue to reactivate her feelings of respect, attraction and love for you during every interaction, her resistance will crumble and she will open back up to you.
As her feelings begin to turn back on, she will become excited to see you again.
When you are her are getting back together, she will realize that falling in love with you this time around is the best decision she has ever made in her life because you’re now the man she always wanted you to be.
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