Here are 5 of the most common reasons why a break up will happen like that:
1. She gets tired of faking her happiness with the relationship and walks away
Not all women are courageous enough to say what’s really bothering them in a relationship (e.g. because she’s afraid that her guy might get angry and react violently towards her, she worries that he might become upset and then dump her, she doesn’t want to hurt his feelings or get into a big argument with him about it, she doesn’t like confrontation and would rather just swallow her annoyance) and sometimes, a woman simply doesn’t know why she feels the way she does and what would fix the problem.
As a result, a woman like that will often pretend to be happy in the relationship and hope that he will somehow change some of the things that are annoying her about him, without her having to tell him.
In some instances, a woman might hint at what is bothering her, but she won’t just come out and say it.
For example: A guy might be in the habit of always canceling plans with his woman at the last minute, without giving her any notice or taking her feelings into consideration.
However, rather than come and say that his behavior makes her feel unloved, unappreciated and taken for granted, she might instead just say something along the lines of, “I really appreciate it when you let me know you can’t make it to our date in advance. It gives me a chance to make other plans with friends rather than staying home alone and missing you.”
Secretly, she’s likely hoping that he will realize by himself that his behavior is making her unhappy and take steps to improve.
Another example is if a guy is overly possessive and jealous of his woman and constantly keeps tabs on her by monitoring her calls, texts, social media messages and emails.
He might also forbid her to hang out with her friends unless he’s with her.
Naturally, this behavior makes her feel smothered and like she’s a little child rather than a mature, independent woman.
Yet, once again, rather than come out and say that to her guy and risk getting into a confrontation with him, she might instead try to reassure him by saying things like, “You know that I love you, right?” or, “You’re the only guy I want to be with,” or “One of the things I love about us is that we’re 100% devoted to each other.”
Basically, she hoping that by saying that to him, it will put his mind to rest about losing her and stop being so controlling all the time.
However, if the guy doesn’t pick up on his woman’s hints and simply continues to think, act and behave like he always has, her unhappiness in the relationship will intensify.
As a result, her feelings of love, respect and attraction will begin to fade away, until she finally decides to break up with him.
In most cases, this will come as a shock to the guy and he may say something along the lines of, “I thought we were okay but she wasn’t happy and has now dumped me.”
Yet, what he didn’t realize is that his girl most-likely gave him a lot of clues of her unhappiness along the way, that he just didn’t notice or recognize.
So, to get her back, a guy like that needs to first understand what aspect of his thinking and behavior caused his ex to feel unhappy in the relationship with him and then interact with her to show her that he’s not that man anymore.
By making adjustments to how he approaches interactions with her, she automatically feels and experiences the changes, without him even having to say that he has changed.
She then becomes open to giving him another chance.
On the other hand, if he tries to get her back without understanding what made her unhappy in the first place, he will continue making the same attraction mistakes as before and she will remain closed off.
Another reason why a break up can happen like that is…
2. The guy is just too nice or agreeable and that doesn’t excite her
Most guys are good guys, so it goes without saying that a lot of them also believe that being nice and agreeable towards a woman is the key to maintaining her love and making her happy.
Unfortunately though, it doesn’t actually work that way.
The reality is that although most women appreciate it when a guy is being nice to her and treats her well, it’s not what causes her to have ongoing sexual and romantic feelings for him.
She might care about him as a person, but without that extra spark of sexual attraction, she ends up feeling more like his friend or roommate than his girl.
So, when a guy is being nice and sweet to his woman and always lets her have whatever she wants as a way of keeping her happy, he ends up making his miserable instead. Why?
Basically, because there’s no sexual spark between them, she secretly feels like something is missing between them.
She might think, “Why am I being so ungrateful? He’s such a nice guy. I should feel lucky to have him. He always treats me like a princess and lets me have whatever I want, but I just don’t feel happy with him. What’s wrong with me? Why isn’t what I have with him good enough for me?”
Yet, no matter how much she tries to convince herself that everything is okay, she can’t shake the feeling that there’s a man out there who can make her feel the way she wants to feel when she’s with him (e.g. sexually attracted, desirable, excited).
If that feeling of dissatisfaction gets too strong inside of her, she may then just dump her guy and try to move on.
So, if you have been a really nice, sweet, agreeable guy to your ex, don’t try to get her back by using the same approach.
That doesn’t mean you should suddenly be rude, obnoxious or unpleasant towards her.
Instead, you need to be more emotionally masculine with her so that she begins to feel the all-important spark of sexual attraction when she interacts with you (i.e. over the phone and especially in person).
The more you make sparks of excitement surge through her body, the more she will appreciate that you’re a good guy too.
She will begin to see you as one of the rare, good men who also knows how to make a woman feel like a real woman (i.e. attractive, desirable, sexy) when she’s with him.
As a result, her perspective of you will naturally begin to change and she will feel open to seeing you more often to see what happens.
Another reason why a break up can happen like that is…
3. The guy is too neutral and she wants a guy who is her opposite
Sometimes a guy will think that he is being an ideal boyfriend by being neutral (i.e. treating her like a good friend, not making her feel girly in comparison to his masculinity).
That can work initially, if there is a lot of physical attraction between a couple, but it will gradually become boring over time.
To keep the spark alive in a relationship, the attraction has to come from how you interact with her (i.e. making her feel girly in comparison to your masculinity, being confident and emotionally secure no matter what she says or does around you, flirting with her, looking at her as a sexy woman, rather than your new buddy for life).
Essentially, the amount of attraction that exists in your relationship will come from you not being neutral around her and instead, being the opposite to her (i.e. really being the man, so she can really be your girl).
Unfortunately, a lot of guys think that is “disrespectful” towards women and as a result, they treat their girlfriend like a friend and she then ends up falling out of love with him over time.
Additionally, sometimes a guy will mistakenly believe that he should go along with all of his woman’s tastes and preferences and if he does, she will love him, feel so much closer to him, feel attracted to him and want to be with him for life.
Yet, in reality, what that approach, they just end up feeling like two friends, which then slowly kills the attraction between them.
There is no real difference between them (i.e. masculine vs. feminine) and instead, they seem very similar in their energy and approach to interactions.
For example: No matter what she asks him (e.g. “What do you want to eat?” “Where do you want to go?” What movie would you like to watch?”) he just responds by saying something like, “Oh, I don’t mind. You decide,” or “I’m okay with whatever you want.”
Yet, that’s what a woman talks like when in a relationship.
Women say those things because they want a man to take the lead, so she can feel feminine in comparison to him.
A man doesn’t have to make all the decisions, but he needs to be the man.
Here’s the thing…
Even though a woman might appreciate it when she gets her way from time to time, she doesn’t want to feel like she is the boss, the leader, or the most dominant one in the relationship.
Instead, she wants her man to make her feel as though she needs to do her best to keep him happy and interested in her, rather than feeling like she can do whatever she wants because he will put up with anything just to be with her.
In other words, she wants him to stop being so neutral around her and to be more of the opposite (i.e. someone who will push her into being a better version of herself).
If he can’t offer her the challenge she secretly wants in a relationship, then she will naturally begin to feel unhappy in her relationship with him.
When that happens, she will stop feeling respect and attraction for him and without those two feelings, she won’t see any reason to stay in a relationship with him.
She will then break up with him (even though he’s a good guy and is treating her well) and find herself a man who is her opposite (i.e. more of a challenge).
So, if you want to get your ex back into a relationship with you, you need to change your approach with her from now on.
Instead of always being neutral around her, you need to take the lead and be the man.
That means, you stand up to her when you don’t agree with what she’s saying, you make some of the decisions for both of you and you make sure that you don’t let her get away with bad behavior.
The more she can see that you’re now the kind of man she can look up to, respect, feel attracted to and love, the more convinced she will become that dumping you was a mistake.
She will then naturally open back up to being your girl again, or at least hooking up with you sexually to see how she feels afterwards.
Another reason why a break up can happen like that is…
4. The woman met a new guy who made her feel a lot more attraction and, since she was unhappy in the relationship for a long time, she decided to pursue something with him
When a woman stops being happy in her relationship with her guy, it’s usually because her wants and desires don’t actually match what she’s getting.
For example:
She wants a man who is confident, self-assured and emotionally independent, but her guy is just too insecure, needy and clingy.
She wants a man who is more emotionally dominant than her, but her guy tends to be too submissive, passive, easily manipulated and allows her (and other people) to get away with pushing him around and treating him badly.
She wants a guy who is emotionally masculine and makes her feel like a sexy, feminine woman around him, but her man tends to be too nice and neutral and makes her feel more like his friend than his woman.
She wants a man who she can look up to, respect and depend on to be the man all the time, but her guy often acts too childish and immature and makes her almost feel like his parent.
She wants a man who has a definite purpose and direction in life, but he prefers to drift through life and spend most of his time doing pointless things that achieve nothing (e.g. play video games, hang out with his friends and get drunk).
So, if her guy doesn’t live up to her expectations, she will gradually start to lose respect, attraction and love for him over time.
If she then happens to meet another guy (e.g. at work, university, when she’s out with friends) and he displays some of the behaviors and characteristics that are attractive to her, but lacking in her man, she will automatically feel drawn to him.
Then, the idea of sticking in an unhappy relationship won’t seem appealing to her anymore, regardless of how nice her guy is.
So, for a guy like that to get his ex back, he needs to change his approach and begin igniting feelings inside of her that no other guy can.
How can he do that?
By showing her via his attitude, thinking, behavior and the way he interacts with her that he’s not the same guy she broke up with (e.g. he’s no longer insecure, boring, submissive, emotionally immature).
When she experiences the new him, her curiosity will almost certainly get the better of her.
She will then want to interact with him more, over the phone and in person, so that she can experience the new and improved him for herself.
She will want to see how it feels to hug him, kiss him and have sex with him now that he’s changed.
If that feels good, her attraction for the other guy will begin to fizzle out and she will naturally and easily open back up to being his girl, because she can see that he’s now the kind of man she always wanted him to be.
Another reason why a break up can happen like that is…
5. She never really wanted to commit for life
Sometimes a woman will see all her friends getting into relationships around her and she might begin feeling left out, so she accepts a relationship with a guy she doesn’t feel 100% attracted to or compatible with.
In her mind she may be thinking things like, “He’s a nice guy and I’m sure it will be fun to date him for a while. At least I won’t be single when I go out with my friends anymore and if I get bored with him, I can always move on without feeling sad and broken up about it.”
She then gets into the relationship with the guy, knowing that she has no intention of staying with him for life.
Of course, if the guy can create a relationship dynamic where he is good to her and makes her feel respectful, attracted and in love with him, she won’t ever want to let him go.
She will then try to be a good, loving and devoted woman to him to make sure he doesn’t leave her.
However, if he fails to spark her feelings for him, she’s unlikely to stick in a relationship that makes her feel unhappy.
Instead, she will break up with him and move on to the next guy, until she can find the man who can make her feel the way she wants to feel when she’s with him.
When she does, she will quickly commit to him for life.
The good news is, you can still be that guy.
All it takes is for you to make your ex feel attracted in new and exciting ways when she’s with you.
When she can feel the kind of emotions that she never felt before (e.g. excited, fascinated, turned on), she will automatically drop her guard and open back up to being with you.
Avoid the Making Any of the Following Mistakes if You Want Her Back
If you want to get your ex back, you’re going to have to ensure that whenever you interact with her, what you say and do is turning her on, rather than turning her off.
This is why, it’s very important that you avoid making the following attraction mistakes with her:
1. Not improving your ability to make her feel sparks of sexual and romantic attraction
You wanting your ex is not enough to get her back, if you continue to use the same old approach to attraction that got you dumped in the first place (e.g. being too nice with her, rather than flirting with her and building up sexual tension, being too submissive and letting her feel more emotionally dominant than you, feeling insecure about yourself and making her feel like she would be doing you a favor by getting back with you).
This is why, if you truly want to get her back, you need to make sure that you improve your ability to properly re-attract her.
If you make her feel attracted to new and interesting ways, she will naturally drop her guard and open back up to being your girl again.
However, if you use the same old approach to attraction that caused her to leave you, then she will almost certainly remain closed off and focus on moving on.
The next mistake to avoid making is…
2. Cutting off contact and just hoping that she changes her mind
That can work if a woman is still in love with her ex and secretly wants to get back with him.
In a case like that, ignoring her can make her panic about losing him and she may then change her mind about the break up.
However, when a woman dumps a guy because she doesn’t feel happy in the relationship with him, chances are pretty high that she no longer feels connected to her feelings of respect, attraction and love for him.
So, if he suddenly stops hearing from him (e.g. for a few weeks or even months), rather than change her mind and run after him, she will likely be relieved.
She may then use the time apart to find herself a new man to start a relationship with.
Then, by the time her ex realizes that she’s not coming back to him and tries to contact her again, he’s shocked to find out that she has moved on and is happy with someone else.
Don’t let that happen to you.
If you want your ex back, you need to stay in contact with her, so that you can spark her feelings for you.
If you ignore her, she will almost certainly move on and then getting her back will become very difficult for you.
The next mistake to avoid making is…
3. Watching on hopelessly from the sidelines as she moves on with a new guy
If a guy doesn’t take action to get his ex back quickly after a break up, it’s inevitable that she will find herself another man to move on with.
Unfortunately, when that happens, a guy like that ends up losing confidence in himself and his ability to keep a woman, which makes him unattractive to other women (i.e. because insecurity and doubt is a turn off).
As a result, the break up becomes even worse for him.
Don’t let that guy be you.
Be a man of action and get her back now.
The next mistake to avoid making is…
4. Forgetting that a woman can go from feeling unhappy to happy with a guy in one interaction
Regardless of how convincing it might sound when a woman says something along the lines of, “I’m just not happy with you anymore. It’s over between us,” it’s very important that you don’t accept that as her final word. Why?
Right now, your ex is most likely still thinking about the break up and the things that caused her to go through with it in the end.
This then makes her disconnect for her positive feelings for you (e.g. respect, attraction, love) and connect to the more negative ones (e.g. anger, disappointment, resentment).
However, if you change your approach with her and you actively make her feel attracted to you again when you interact with her (e.g. by maintaining your confidence with her regardless of what she says or does to put you off, making her smile and laugh and feel good to be talking to you again, making her feel like a feminine woman by being emotionally masculine around her), her feelings for you will naturally start to change.
She automatically starts to feel some respect and attraction for you again.
As a result, her defenses come down and you can then confidently guide her back into a relationship via hugging, kissing, having sex and falling back in love.
All it takes is one interaction to make her change how she feels.
However, if you just accept what she’s saying to you (i.e. that she’s unhappy and that it’s over), you may lose out on getting her back.
That would be a pity, don’t you agree?
So, go ahead and interact with her, re-attract her and get her back.
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