Here are 8 possible outcomes when a guy tells his ex that he will find a woman who deserves him.
1. She thinks he is being overly dramatic like a woman
He may actually be a masculine man, but she won’t see it that way if he says something like, “I’ll find a woman who deserves me.”
Why?
It’s a man’s emotional strength that attracts a woman and allows her to relax and be the girly, feminine woman that she really wants to be in a relationship.
So, when a man is being dramatic and loses control of his emotions (e.g. he’s upset because she broke up with him, says he will find a woman who deserves him just to spite her) he’s being the opposite of what attracts her (and women in general).
She perceives him as being an emotionally weak man who acts, behaves and talks more like a woman (i.e. sulking, seeking pity, being overly dramatic).
That is unattractive to her.
It’s okay for a woman to be overly dramatic, sulk or seek pity, but not a man.
Additionally, the more a woman wants to be feminine and girly, the more she will love to be overly dramatic, seek pity or sulk.
Why?
It allows her to express her wild, random emotions, rather than being so sensible, straightforward and logical like a man.
It also gives her an opportunity to find a man who has the ability to remain confident, calm and in control when she’s being a bit of a drama queen around him.
However, when a man is being dramatic, it makes her look at him as a feminine guy that wants to express his feminine side and feel protected like her, or as a man who still hasn’t fully grown up and is still acting like a boy, or like he would have behaved around his mother when he was a child.
That’s not what a woman is looking for in a boyfriend-girlfriend, or husband-wife relationship.
A woman wants to be the one who is protected and taken care of by her emotionally strong, emotionally balanced man, not the other way around.
So, when a guy says, “I will find a woman who deserves me,” it does nothing to spark her feelings of attraction for him again.
Instead, it just highlights to her that he’s too emotionally weak or immature for a woman like her, which motivates her to move on even faster.
2. She panics and realizes that she is losing a good man
Sometimes saying that to a woman reminds her of all the good things she loved about her ex.
For example:
- He is a good man who always treats her well (even now that they’re broken up), no matter how she behaves towards him (e.g. she’s being cold, distant, throwing a tantrum, sulking).
- He’s focused and motivated and is working towards achieving big goals in his life.
- He has the same or similar values as her.
- He wants the same things that she does (e.g. to settle down, get married, start a family together, build a business, go traveling around the world).
- He was always respectful towards her family and friends.
- He took care of her (e.g. made sure that all her bills were paid, her car was serviced and the gas tank was full, ran errands for her to make her life easier).
She might also realize that at least half of the relationship problems were her fault.
For example:
- She got angry with him too quickly and didn’t give him a chance to fix things or explain.
- She wanted the relationship to feel as exciting as the ones she saw on TV soap operas or romantic movies without her putting in any effort.
- She had personal issues that she wasn’t dealing with but blamed him for how she was feeling.
As a result, she realizes that she’s losing a good man and wants him back.
She may then contact him to see if they can work things out.
However, that doesn’t always happen.
In some cases, a woman might assume that she’ll get rejected if she tries.
So, she just gives up on the idea of getting him back and reluctantly forces herself to get over him and move on.
3. She doesn’t feel like he deserves any better yet
He doesn’t realize the ways he is turning women off.
For example:
- He’s too nice and just allows her and people in general to take advantage of him.
- He always puts everyone else’s needs ahead of his own.
- He rarely (if ever) stands up for himself, even when the other person is in the wrong.
- He’s insecure and unsure of himself.
From his point of view, he’s being a good guy and a loving boyfriend.
What he doesn’t realize however, is that although a woman might appreciate him being nice to her, it’s not what causes her to have ongoing sexual and romantic feelings for him.
So, when he gets dumped and then tells his ex that he will find a woman who deserves him, she knows that it won’t happen.
She knows that women will continue to treat him the way she did, unless he meets a less attractive woman who puts up with it and treats him well for a few years before changing (e.g. she gets tired of him being so nice all that time that she becomes a nagging, spiteful shrew to try and push him into being more manly and stand up to her).
Alternatively, she knows that other women will take advantage of his generosity, kindness or niceness and it will naturally bring out a bad side of those women (e.g. they are rude, disrespectful, cheat on him).
As a result, she doesn’t feel as though she has anything to worry about (i.e. that she will be losing a great man and regret it later on).
4. She feels guilty for treating him the way she did, but still doesn’t want him
Most women are nice.
So, even though a woman might break up with a nice, decent guy (i.e. because she doesn’t feel enough attraction for him to want to stay together), she usually doesn’t want him to suffer.
This is why, when a guy shows his pain to her by saying he’ll find a woman who deserves him, it can sometimes make her feel a little guilty.
This can motivate her to try and reduce her feelings of guilt by being nice to him.
However, that doesn’t mean her feelings for him have changed and that she wants him back.
Some guys can take that as a sign that she wants him back and feel excited and optimistic and then feel crushed when they get rejected again.
A guy like that might even get angry and accuse his ex of sending mixed signals or messing with his head.
What he doesn’t realize is that a woman being nice to a guy doesn’t mean she’s sexually and romantically attracted to him.
For that to happen, he has to reactivate her feelings first (e.g. by displaying personality traits and behaviors that are naturally attractive to women, using humor and flirting to create sexual tension between them).
If he doesn’t she’ll be nice to him for a little while to make herself feel better about dumping him.
However, that won’t stop her from moving on and finding a new man to get into a relationship with.
5. She doesn’t care
For example: Imagine a woman broke up with her boyfriend because he was too insecure and needy, not manly enough for her, or not enough of a challenge to motivate her to want to impress him and maintain his interest.
He then tells her that he will find a woman who deserves him.
Instead of panicking and feeling like she’s made a big mistake, she doesn’t care.
Why?
He hasn’t really done anything else to prove to her that he’s no longer insecure, or is now much more manly in his thinking, behavior, actions and approach, or makes her feel like putting on the charm to impress him.
As a result, her feelings for him remain switched off.
She’s still not attracted to him, so the idea of some other woman having him doesn’t bother her at all.
She doesn’t really care because she’s not interested in getting back with a man who can no longer make her feel attracted.
Of course, if he re-sparked some of her sexual and romantic feelings for him first and then said that to her, it would be a different story.
Suddenly she would feel like she was losing something of value (i.e. a man who makes her feel the way she wants to feel).
As a result, she would care.
She would then want to put on the charm to make him give her a second chance, or end up regretting it.
6. She hopes that he does, so he leaves her alone
In some cases, rather than be a shock when a guy tells his ex that he’s going to find another woman, it’s actually a relief to her.
She might even feel excited and say, “That’s wonderful. I fully support your decision. You need a woman who can love and appreciate what a great guy you really are. You deserve a better woman than me. I’m just not the right woman for you. I’m so glad you see that now. I wish you all the best and hope everything works out for you.”
From her point of view, it’s exactly what she hopes will happen so she doesn’t have to deal with him trying to get her back.
She can then move on in peace.
Of course, if he’s just saying that to try and make her want him again, he’s going to feel very disappointed and even more rejected by her reaction.
7. She sees it as an attempt to manipulate her into feeling guilty and giving him another chance
Even though what he’s saying might be true (i.e. that he deserves a woman who treats him better than her), a woman won’t necessarily see it that way when reminded of it.
Instead, she will assume that he’s most likely trying to manipulate her into feeling like she’s going to lose out by not staying in a relationship with him.
She will then regret it later on, especially if she struggles to find a guy as great as him, or gets into a relationship with a man who doesn’t treat her as well as he did (in his opinion, of course).
As a result, she puts up her guard and becomes wary of him
In some cases, a woman might even:
- Become resistant to interacting with him anymore (e.g. stop responding to his texts or messages, stop answering his calls and possibly even block him), because she feels angry, resentful, guarded and suspicious.
- Push herself to begin dating a new man as quickly as possible to rub his face in it and show him that she won’t be manipulated back into a relationship that doesn’t make her fell happy or fulfilled anymore.
It then becomes a lot more difficult for him to re-attract her and get her back.
On the one hand, he can’t easily contact her because she’s ignoring him.
On the other hand, she says, “Sorry, I have a new boyfriend now and he doesn’t like me talking to you. So, please stop contacting me and move on. I hope you do find a woman who deserves you, but that woman definitely isn’t me.”
Either way, he ends up making things a lot more difficult for himself than if he had just started re-attracting her right away without saying anything.
8. She assumes he will no longer be trying to get her back, so she moves on
Even if a woman regrets breaking up with her boyfriend (e.g. because she realized he’s a great guy and compared to the men she’s met since their breakup he’s the best option for her), chances are high that she’s not going to make it completely obvious to him (i.e. by saying she regrets breaking up and wants to get back together again).
Instead, she will stick around and wait for him to take the lead in the ex back process and get her back.
So, if he doesn’t do that and instead says he’s going to find another woman, she will take that as a sign that he’s not going to try to get her back after all.
She will then force herself to move on and forget about him.
For example: She might…
- Go out to clubs, bars or house parties and flirt with guys she meets there and possibly even hook up with someone.
- Accept dates with guys who have been interested in her (e.g. at work or university, in the neighborhood, at the gym, a friend of a friend).
- Use dating apps to line up dates with new guys.
Of course, her ex might only be saying that to make her want him back, but because she doesn’t see it that way, his plan backfires.
She moves on and is happy with a new guy, while he sits around feeling betrayed and telling himself that he deserves a better woman than her.
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