Yes.
Here are 5 reasons why:
1. As the old saying goes, “All is fair in love and war”
In other words, people don’t always stick to being as nice as they usually are, or follow normal rules of behavior when it comes to love or war.
Sometimes, due to becoming so emotionally attached, a person will lash out or end up saying or doing things that they later regret.
So, it’s totally understandable that you might not have behaved in totally perfect ways during and after the breakup with her.
The reality is that both men and women often behave completely out of character (and end up regretting it) when going through a break up with someone they truly love and don’t want to lose.
For example: In terms of a man…
- He starts begging, pleading and even crying as a way of hopefully making his woman change her mind.
- He gets angry with her for wanting to leave him and says things that he regrets later on (e.g. “I can’t believe you’re being such a bitch to me! What the f**k has gotten into you?” or, “I was so stupid to trust you and get into a relationship with you. After all I’ve done for you. How dare you break up with me like it’s just nothing. I’m going to make sure you regret this” or, “Yeah? Well I never loved you anyway. F**k you! Get the f**k out of my house!” and so on). It can get pretty nasty between some couples.
- He becomes physically aggressive and possibly even violent towards her (e.g. he grabs her arm during arguments, he slaps her, he tries to choke her, he chokes her, pushes her or hits her).
- He accuses her of cheating on him and calls her names (e.g. slut, tramp, whore, skanky ass bitch).
- He insists that she owes it to him to stay in the relationship and work things out. He becomes very serious about that and pressures her to the point where he is being unreasonable.
- He demands that she tells him what he’s done wrong and how to fix it, so they can work things out.
- He panics and sends her a whole load of texts; most of them emotional and irrational.
- He writes her long, detailed texts trying to fix the relationship, which only causes her to feel exhausted to have to read it all and turned off by the fact that he’s ranting on so much to her via text.
- He starts calling her friends and family names behind their back to her (e.g. “You’re family are a bunch of clueless idiots” or, “Your friend is a bitch. She has been trying to ruin our relationship from the beginning” or, “Your sister is a mean, manipulative, jealous bitch who can’t stand you being happy. Can’t you see that? You’re delusional if you think she has your best interests at heart” and so on).
- He turns up at her work with flowers and card, pleading for another chance, or simply leaves the flowers and card at reception and asks them to be passed on to her. Then, had the office knows she is experiencing relationship problems, which then annoys her and causes her to want to distance herself from him even more.
- He arrives at her home in tears, hoping that she take pity on him and allow him inside.
- He threatens to kill himself or hurt himself if she doesn’t give him another chance.
- He doesn’t let her leave his house/apartment when she is trying to break up with him and forces her to stay there and continue talking to him about everything.
Of course, with a lot of those things above, they aren’t ‘fair’ and accepted just because it’s a break up.
Some of those things can get a man into trouble and shouldn’t ever be done (i.e. physical violence towards a woman), so I have to say that for the record.
All that aside, it’s important to understand that both men and women sometimes end up acting a little crazy, or a little out of character when they are being dumped.
In some cases, women get physically violent towards men and scratch, hit, bite, push and punch them during a break up.
Things can really get nasty between some couples.
Yet, the reality is that many of them do get back together, apologize and aim to never make the same mistakes again.
So, if you reacted in a way that you’re not proud of during and/or after your relationship with her, just know that you’re not alone.
Both men and women often mess up when they’re in the process of getting dumped, but thankfully, in many cases, the break up can be reversed and the couple can get back together.
The most important thing right now, is that you learn from the mistakes you made during/after the break up and adjust the way you act, behave and interact with your ex from now on.
For example: One adjustment that a man can make when talking to his ex woman, is to literally laugh at himself regarding how he behaved and then apologize.
He might laugh at himself and say, “Wow! I really lost it, didn’t I? I can’t believe I reacted that way. That was me being a real jerk. I’m sorry about that. I feel like a real idiot now for behaving in that way. I don’t expect you to forgive me of course, but I am sorry. It was very silly of me to react in that way” and try to have a laugh with her about it.
By being able to laugh at yourself and honestly apologize, it show her that you’re fully aware your behavior was unattractive, immature and silly.
As a result, she can then feel some respect for you based on you taking responsibility for your actions, rather than trying to sweep it under the carpet or pretend that it didn’t happen.
When she can see that you’ve learned from the experience and have already taken steps to become a better, more emotionally strong and mature man, she will naturally be able to drop her guard a little bit.
You then have your opening to reactivate her feelings for you and get her back.
All over the word, millions of couples get back together after being able to forgive the other person’s overreaction to the break up.
In fact, even in something as horrible as a divorce (that’s a really bad break up involving lawyers, separation of assets, division of family members and a whole lot of stress), couples are able to get back together and then stay together for life.
For example: According to research conducted by Nancy Kalish, Ph.D., professor emeritus of psychology at California State University, Sacramento, married couples that reunite after divorce have a 72% chance of staying together for life.
In other research from the Department of Communication Studies at the University of Texas, it was found that approximately 65% of U.S. college students had broken up and then gotten back together.
I can also tell you, after more than 15 years (as of typing this article) of experience helping men succeed with women that I hear back from new men every day who’ve gotten a woman back after all sorts of horrible break up situations.
Pretty much every man starts out thinking, “But my situation is different” and he is right.
His situation is different, but the solution to get a woman back is the same (i.e. you need to get her respect back, make her feel attracted to you again and she will then open up to loving you again).
That can literally happen in minutes, hours or over the course of a few days to a week.
It’s only when you understand that, accept it and begin to do it that your ex then opens up and wants you back.
So, don’t go through the next few weeks or months of your life thinking that your situation is too different, or is impossible.
Every guy thinks that at the start.
Yet, the smart men realize that although their situation isn’t the same as other people, the steps to get an ex woman back are the same, so they go ahead and do it and get her back.
Another reason why it is possible to get back together after a bad breakup is…
2. Sexual and romantic attraction is more compelling to a woman than almost anything else in life
Although women don’t often like to admit it, they do think with their heart and pussy, not just their brains.
Women often like to try to demean men by saying, “Men think with their dick,” but women have urges too.
The reality is that pretty much every woman on the planet has found herself lusting after a guy that she knows isn’t good for her (e.g. a bad boy, a cheater, a guy who doesn’t care about her, a guy who would only use her for sex; otherwise known to women as a f**k boy).
Additionally, pretty much every woman has found herself behaving totally out of character and bending over backwards to please a man, when she has been romantically attracted and in love with him.
So, although most women like to give everyone the impression that they are totally in control of their emotions and attraction for men, it simply isn’t true.
The majority of women will change their mind about a break up, if their ex suddenly causes them to feel strong respect, attraction and love again.
She will then rationalize it by saying, “I think he has changed. It’s different this time. I can feel it. My woman’s intuition is telling me to give him a chance.”
Yet, she is simply feeling a renewed sense of sexual and romantic attraction for him based on the way he is now interacting with her, or possibly making her feel from a distance via social media.
So, even if your ex has said things like, “I hate you and I will never forgive you for how you behaved during out breakup. I don’t care how sorry you are now, nothing you say or do will ever be able to change how I feel about you now,” it still doesn’t mean her feelings are cast in stone and never change.
The truth is, feelings change all the time.
Think about it…
There was a time when you and her were complete strangers and she didn’t have any feelings for you whatsoever.
Then, when you met, she began to feel sparks of sexual and romantic attraction for you.
Then, when she became your girlfriend, her feelings for you intensified and she started to really love you and adore you.
Yet, somewhere along the way, the relationship began to fall apart and her feelings started to change in a more negative direction.
Rather than feeling love, respect and attraction for you, she began to feel anger, resentment, disappointment, frustration and regret.
The reality is that your ex’s feelings for you have changed multiple times in the past and they can easily change again.
How?
By making her feel the way she wants to feel when interacting with a man (i.e. feminine, girly, excited, challenged, comforted, in love, open).
It’s a special mix of feelings that women search for and rarely find, so when you are the kind of man who can offer her that experience, she feels attracted to you like a magnet.
When a woman feels that level of attraction for a man, she will almost always be willing to forgive him and get back with him, even if they had a bad break up.
Of course, women will rarely admit that openly, but they pretty much all done it and will do it again if they feel like it.
Another reason why it is possible to get back together after a bad breakup is…
3. You and her can quickly get to a point where you forgive each other and even laugh about how badly the break up went
Forgiveness can make a woman drop her guard and open back up to the idea of being with you again right away, or soon after.
It’s sort of like a melting of any resistance that a woman is holding onto against you.
Forgiveness allows her to let go of all of that and just see you for who you are now.
Yet, you have to go about it in the right way.
For example: Getting her to forgive you isn’t about begging and pleading with her by saying things like, “Please, forgive me. I know I stuffed up, but I’ll do anything to make it up to you. Just tell me how and I will do it I promise. Please just forgive me” because it gives her a power over you that she doesn’t want.
It can also make you seem desperate, which is never attractive to women.
So, what should you do instead?
Telling her that forgiving you will be for her benefit, not just yours and more importantly, that it’s not about getting back together.
At this point, it’s just about forgiveness so her remaining feelings of resistance against you can melt away and she then open up.
Whether you get her back at that point depends on your ability to attract her sexually and romantically.
For now though, just focus on getting her to forgive you.
For example: You can say (in a relaxed, easy-going manner without any trace of desperation or pleading) something like, “Look, I know that I messed up and I’m truly sorry for hurting you. Breaking up was a big wake up call for me. It actually made me understand that I was making a whole bunch of mistakes in the relationship and I deserved to get dumped. On a more positive note, it also made me realize how important you are to me and how silly I was for treating you the way I did. I don’t expect you to believe me, but I really have changed and I would appreciate it if you’d forgive me, so we can both move forward without being negative and bitter about our past. We all know what it feels like to be angry and bitter at another person and to carry that around for a long time. It’s not a nice feeling. If you aren’t able to forgive me, then you might carry that into your next relationship it might cause problems for you. So, the mature thing to do here is to forgive me by understanding that people do make mistakes and sometimes, they can learn from those mistakes and change. I’m not asking you to give the relationship another chance. We’ve broken up and that is done. All I ask is that you forgive my mistakes, so we can both move on with a clean, healthy state of mind. So, can you forgive me and be able to walk away as friends, without any negative feelings?”
Note: Getting her to forgive you like that isn’t about literally encouraging her to move on and find a new man.
Instead, when she genuinely forgives you, she naturally begins to look at you in a new light, without so much negatively, or without any negativity at all.
This causes her to not want to completely block you out of her life and instead, to remain open to interacting with you, even if you’re just interacting as friends.
Then, you can use that to interact with her and make her feel new sparks of sexual and romantic attraction for you, which will naturally make her want to hook up with you again, or even get back with you for real.
When that happens, the bad break up that you and her went through will become something you can both look back on and laugh about.
Another reason why it is possible to get back together after a bad breakup is…
4. What you might feel was a bad breakup, others may see as pretty normal
The truth is, no relationship is perfect all the time.
Couples often fight, disagree and even get to the point where one or the other is saying things like, “That’s it! I’ve had it! I am fed up with your crap. It’s over! I’m leaving you. Goodbye!”
In fact, it’s fairly normal for couples to almost breakup several times during the course of their relationship.
For example: According to a study conducted by Amber Vennum, an assistant professor of Family Studies and Human Services at Kansas State University, about 37% of couples living together, and 23% of married couples have broken up and then gotten back together again.
Additionally, as mentioned earlier in the article, the Department of Communication Studies at the University of Texas found that approximately 65% of U.S. college students had broken up and then gotten back together again.
So, breaking up and getting back together is pretty normal.
The reality is that many relationships even go through one, or even several actual breakups before it eventually works out (i.e. they’re happy and stay together for life).
Additionally, just because your breakup seems bad to you (e.g. because it’s your first serious breakup with your girl, you’ve never experienced a breakup before this one, things got a little heated, you said or did things that you now regret, she seemed very upset with you), it probably wouldn’t seem as bad to someone else who has more a lot more experience with relationships.
Sure, you may have stuffed up, but many people (men and women) overreact or react badly to getting dumped and then get the relationship back together.
If you are willing to learn from your past mistakes and change your approach to attraction with your ex (i.e. understand how to attract her in new ways and then interact with her to let her experience it), you will be surprised by the results you get (i.e. you will almost certainly get her back).
So, don’t let a bad breakup stop you from being with the love of your life again.
Get her back.
Another reason why it is possible to get back together after a bad breakup is…
5. Women don’t always walk away feeling 100% sure about the breakup
Even if a woman breaks up with a guy, swears that she never wants to see him again, says she hates him and that nothing he says will ever change her mind, it’s no guarantee she will feel that way a few days, a week or a month from now.
When the dust settles and the negative emotions associated with the break up (e.g. anger, resentment, bitterness) start to fade into the background, her view on never forgiving her ex may start to change.
For example: She may begin to think, “I said that I would never forgive him, but I’m starting to realize that some of the reasons we broke up over were trivial and he’s not all that bad. Maybe I overreacted. Maybe we could have saved the relationship. I don’t know. I’m just not as sure about this as I was a few days/weeks ago.”
She then naturally drops her guard a little bit and opens up to at least texting or talking with her ex again, even though she initially said that she never wanted to talk to him or see him again.
This small opening, is all a guy needs to then reactivate her feelings and make her want him back for real.
Couples get back together based on that all the time.
In the same way, regardless of how bad your breakup was, it doesn’t mean your ex will continue to feel as certain about never wanting to see you again as she did when she broke up with you.
The reality is that after she calms down and begins to remember some of your good qualities (this usually happens within 3 to 7 days), she will begin to think of you and the break up from a different perspective.
This is why, if you don’t think you can get her back immediately, giving her 3 to 7 days of space will help calm things down.
While giving her space, you need to get yourself ready to properly re-attract her, get her to forgive you and make her want to give the relationship another chance.
Don’t just wait a week and then contact her via text with a, “Hey” or some other type of feeler text to see if she is responsive.
Then, if she isn’t, just waiting and seeing if she will eventually respond.
You’ve got to be more thorough than that if you want her back, especially after a bad break up.
Get Her Back After a Bad Breakup By Avoiding These 4 Mistakes
1. Feeling like you have no chance, so you just cut off contact and wait and hope that she reaches out to you
Feeling dejected and discouraged after a bad breakup is normal.
Yet, if you want her back, you have to get past those feelings, rather than letting them consume you and stop you from taking the action you need to take to get her back.
In many cases, guys have no idea how to get their woman back, so they just cut off contact and hope that she reaches out to get him back.
It rarely works though.
Why?
When a woman has had enough of her boyfriend (or husband), is turned off by him, wants to remain broken up and is planning on moving on without him, then she’s usually not going to care if he doesn’t contact her anymore.
Instead of thinking, “Oh no! Why isn’t he calling me?” or, “I miss him so much now that I’m not hearing from him. Maybe I should text him to say hi,” she will usually feel relieved that she no longer has to deal with him.
The time he wastes cutting off contact, will almost always be the time a woman uses to open herself up to dating and hooking up with new men, so she can make herself feel better and move on from him.
So, by the time he realizes that she’s not going to make the first move and decides to contact her (e.g. 30 or 60 days later), a guy is often shocked to find out that she has already moved on.
In many cases, she is happy in a new relationship and in love and asks him never to contact him again.
His whole plan to cut off contact backfired completely and he ended up losing her.
So, don’t fall into the trap of thinking that giving your ex a few weeks or even months of space is what will make her come running back to you.
In almost all ex back cases I’ve seen, it doesn’t.
Instead, the woman gets over him and moves on.
What should you do instead?
Interact with her, get her to forgive you, reawaken her feelings of respect, attraction and love and get her back.
That’s how men all over the world do it and it works.
It’s the manly way to do it because you take control of the situation, rather than waiting around in the hope that she takes control of the situation.
In almost all cases, a woman who has dumped a guy won’t suddenly take control of the ex back process and get him back.
She will just move on.
So, if you want her back, you need to man up by taking control of the situation and guiding her back into a relationship with you.
2. Apologizing over and over for how badly you behaved
Sometimes a guy feels that if he apologizes over and over again, his ex will take pity on him and give him another chance based on that.
Yet, women don’t want to feel as though they are being manipulated into sticking with a man out of pity.
This is why, one sincere apology is enough.
You can also add in a “Sorry” here and there in the natural course of a conversation with her, but try to avoid repeating your overall apology (i.e. where you briefly go into some detail about why you are sorry).
If you do keep repeating the overall apology, a woman can get the sense that you’re desperate or confused about how to re-attract her, which will turn her off.
Repeating the overall apology can also give her a false sense of superiority, where she feels like she is the more valuable one in the relationship compared to you.
If that happens, she can begin to look down on you and feel as though she’d almost be doing you a favor by getting back with you.
That is a total turn off for women, so don’t make her feel that way.
It may feel like the ‘right thing to do’ because you behaved so badly and want to show her how sincere you are, but repeating your apology over and over (especially with a sense of desperation, pleading or unworthiness) isn’t going to make a woman feel attracted.
It’s very important for you to understand that a woman’s attraction for a man doesn’t work the same way as a man’s attraction for a woman.
For example: If a woman apologizes over and over and even in a desperate way, it can make a man feel more attracted to her because she is showing him so much respect and devotion.
Yet, a woman’s attraction for a man is largely based on her being able to look up to him and respect him as a man, so if he gives off a sense of being desperate or pleading with her, she simply can’t look up to him in those moments and will therefore be turned off.
Another mistake to avoid making is…
3. Trying to repair the damage by explaining yourself via an email or a series of long texts or social media messages
Apart from seeming desperate (i.e. for putting so much effort into writing long texts, emails or messages to her), it can also be emotionally exhausting for a woman to have to read it all and then reply.
Essentially, if something needs to be discussed in detail or if you are trying to explain yourself in detail, it needs to happen on a phone call (audio or video) or in person.
If you try to do it all via texts, social media messages or emails, a woman will usually get to the point where she ignores the emails, doesn’t reply to the texts or messages or even doesn’t read them at all anymore.
In some cases, she will get so turned off and exhausted by her ex guy ranting that she will block him.
Another mistake to avoid making is…
4. Feeling like she must truly hate you now
Even though your situation might seem completely hopeless, the reality is that when you begin to reawaken her her sexual and romantic feelings for you again, anything becomes possible.
Every day, all over the world, women go back to men that they’ve broken up with and in many cases, after a bad breakup.
So, regardless of how your ex feels about you at the moment (e.g. turned off, over you, disgusted by you, scared of you, pissed off at you), her feelings aren’t cast in stone.
Her feelings can change.
You can get her to forgive your mistakes and bring her love for you back to life by interacting with her and showing her that you truly are a better man now.
When she sees that you really have changed in the ways that actually matter to her, she won’t be able to stop herself from feeling some respect for you.
When she starts to respect you, she naturally also starts to feel attracted to you again and she then becomes open to reconnecting with her feelings of love for you as well.
So, don’t continue feeling hopeless about your situation and assuming that it’s unfixable.
Don’t miss out on the opportunity to get her back and have her be in love with you again.
Every day, all over the world, men get women back after all sorts of horrible, bad break up situations.
You can do it too.
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