Yes, but probably not in the way you are imagining.
Why?
Here are 5 things you need to know about soulmates…
1. A soulmate can and will break up with you if the romantic feelings are no longer mutual
When in a relationship with a woman that he perceives as being his only and only soulmate, a guy might fail to notice her unhappiness because he’s too caught up in the romance of being with “the one.”
Alternatively, if he does realize that there are some problems between them (e.g. because they’ve been arguing and fighting a lot), he might avoid facing and fixing those issues by thinking, “Yes, we’re having some issues right now, but that’s okay because we’re soulmates. Nothing can come between us. This is just a temporary bump in the road of our long journey together throughout life. We just have to focus on our love for each other and everything will be okay, because soulmates never break up. It’s just the way it is. She’s the one for me and I’m the one for her.”
It would be nice if that were the reality we live in, but it’s not.
The way that life works is that if a woman doesn’t feel enough respect, attraction and love for her guy, then no amount of soulmate talk is going to make her want to stay.
If she does believe in soulmates, she might try harder to make it work (e.g. complaining about her unhappiness in the relationship in the hope that he then changes the things that have been turning her off), but if she realizes that nothing is changing, she will naturally begin to want to leave the relationship.
Here’s the thing…
Unlike in the past where a woman was expected to stay married to a man, regardless of how miserable he made her feel, in today’s world, a woman won’t stick around in a relationship if the guy can’t maintain her feelings of respect, attraction and love over time.
So, even if he firmly believes his woman is his soulmate, if the feelings aren’t mutual, she’s not going to stick around because of his romantic notions of them being made for each other.
If you want to convince your ex to get back together again, it can’t be because you believe that you and her are soulmates.
It’s a nice thought, but it’s not what matters to her and talking about it with her isn’t the way to get her back.
If you want to get her back, you have to make her believe that you are soulmates by getting her to fall madly in love with you again.
To do that, you first need to reawaken her feelings of respect and sexual attraction for you.
When you do that, she will naturally begin to reconnect with the love she used to feel for you, except this time, the love will be deeper, more mature and more meaningful than ever before.
When she falls back in love with you, she will naturally begin to believe that you are her soulmate and that life just wouldn’t feel right without you in it.
However, if you try to get her back without first reactivating her feelings for you, then saying things like, “I know we can work things out because we’re soulmates! We’re just meant to be together. I know it deep down in my heart. You and I are meant for each other” just isn’t going to change her mind.
Instead, she’s going to pull away from you even more because you’re going on and on about being soulmates, even though the feelings aren’t mutual.
If you approach it that way, she will feel as though you just don’t understand how to make a woman love you and want you, which will turn her off even more.
Women don’t like the idea of being with a hopeless romantic.
Women love it when a man is able to make the feelings mutual (i.e. they both respect each other, feel attracted and are in love), while also being romantic at times.
If a man is being romantic when the feelings aren’t mutual, then it’s just not enjoyable for a woman.
The next thing you need to know about soulmates is…
2. Any woman that you have a relationship with in this life becomes a soulmate
According to Wikipedia, a soulmate is described as, “a person with whom one has a feeling of deep or natural affinity. This may involve similarity, love, romance, comfort, intimacy, sexuality, sexual activity, spirituality or compatibility and trust.”
Based on that, it’s quite clear that any woman you have a relationship with becomes your soulmate.
Essentially, every woman you fall in love with becomes part of your journey of self-discovery, your personal story and the meaning of your life.
She becomes someone who was a loving, romantic mate to your soul; someone that you connected with along the way to enlightenment.
So, no matter what happens, a woman that you have a relationship will always be a part of you because your life and hers have intertwined (even if briefly) and she helped you experience things that would never have happened without her (and visa versa).
For example: Your ex might have taught you how to be more patient, to go after what you want in life, to stand up for yourself, or even introduced you to something you may never have tried without her urging (e.g. sushi, skydiving, hiking, a certain type of music, a new way of thinking).
Likewise, you may have taught her how to relax and be more feminine and to not always be the boss, or maybe you pushed her to be more adventurous in her life and try new things.
Whatever the case, these are things that will stay with you (and her) for life, regardless of whether you remain in a relationship or go your separate ways.
In other words, your ex will always be your soulmate, because she lovingly touched your soul in ways that will stay with you for life.
By the way…
Maybe you can now see that even though your ex is your soulmate, it doesn’t have to mean you won’t be able to find another woman who will also be your soulmate in this life.
That said, it also doesn’t mean that you have to leave your ex behind.
You can get her back if you really want to…
The next thing you need to know about soulmates is…
3. The idea of a soulmate isn’t a scientific fact
Although there are many people out there who believe in the existence of a soulmate (i.e. one person who is your true love and is the other half of your soul), the reality is that no one can truly base the notion of a soulmate on actual fact.
The idea of having a soulmate is something that often gets dramatized in movies and romantic books, because it’s interesting to fantasize about those things and escape the reality we live in.
However, the idea of there only being one woman for you doesn’t work well for men, because they often end up feeling needy for one particular woman, which then turns her off.
Many men don’t realize that women desperately want to be in the position where they feel needy for a guy, rather than him feeling needy for her.
Even though many women won’t ever admit it in public, they secretly want to be totally engulfed by their feelings of love for a man.
So much so, that the woman then bases her entire life on him and the relationship they have together.
Many modern women like to act like they don’t need a man, or as though they only care about their career, but secretly, they dream of being madly in love with a man and basing their life on him and the relationship they have with him.
A woman being madly in love with a man like that doesn’t have to mean that he is her one and only soulmate.
The label soulmate can be applied if people want to use it, but most psychologists agree that believing a soulmate exists creates an unrealistic expectation for a relationship that most modern couples simply can’t live up to.
For example: When a couple who believes that they are soulmates breaks up, it usually leads to deep feelings of failure or fear.
They worry that they will never find happiness again with anyone else because no one else can be their soulmate.
Sounds a bit silly, right?
If not, then you’re one of the men who truly believe in their only being one soulmate for you in the infinite universe and as a result, you’re going to end up very disappointed when you notice that she isn’t interested in getting back with you based on how much you love her, care about her or want her.
Remember: If the feelings aren’t mutual, then the idea of being soulmates quickly loses its power.
Getting your ex back, or even finding yourself another woman, has nothing to do with whether or not she’s your soulmate.
What matters is whether or not you can make a woman feel respect, sexual attraction and love for you as you talk to her.
If you can’t do that, she’s just not going to care.
The next thing you need to know about soulmates is…
4. She has her own soul and you need to be relevant to her if you want her to be your mate
If a woman woman matures a lot faster than her man when in a relationship, she will start to feel as though he is holding her back from her journey of self-discovery.
If she wants very different things from life than he does (e.g. to get married vs. pursuing a career, to go traveling vs. buying a house and settling down together, to have children vs. never wanting to be a parent), the ‘idea’ of being soulmates isn’t going to compensate for not being able to live the life she truly wants.
So, even though you might feel strongly that your ex is your soulmate, if you and her don’t have similar long-term goals in life, the relationship won’t be able to last.
For a couple to stay together, having mutual goals that they are excited to experience together in the long term is absolutely essential.
That doesn’t mean you should live in each other’s pockets and not have individual interests, hobbies and even goals that are separate from each other.
Instead, it simply means that overall, you and her should want the same things in the long-term and should be working towards making those things a reality.
So, if you are going to get her back, make sure that you are ready to connect with her about long term goals.
Note: Only do that after you’ve had sex with her again and are talking about how to make the relationship work.
Try don’t to get her to commit to being in a long term relationship with you, even though the feelings aren’t mutual.
Make the feelings mutual first, have sex with her again and then, when the relationship is getting back together, start talking about long terms goals that both of you would be excited to work towards.
When that happens, you become relevant soulmates for each other and as a result, there is no need to go your separate ways.
The next thing you need to know about soulmates is…
5. Most women aren’t seduced by soulmate talk
Sometimes, a guy will hope that if he talks to his ex about her being his soulmate, she will be swept away by the romance of the idea and will feel compelled to give him another chance.
Yet, in the real world, if the feelings aren’t mutual, a woman sees talk about being soulmates as a desperate, confused attempt to convince her back into a relationship.
Remember: For romance and romantic notions to be enjoyable, the feelings have to be mutual.
So, if you want your ex to see you and her as being genuine soulmates, you need to focus on reawakening some of her sexual and romantic feelings for you first.
You can do that during your interactions with her via text, on a phone call and in person.
When you do, she will naturally realize that there is something unique and special between you and her, which could mean that you and her are matched at a soul level.
Then, if you talk about being soulmates it may actually be something that she wants to believe, rather than it being something that makes her want to get away from you.
4 Mistakes That Some Guys Make When Trying to Get a Soulmate Back
If you are serious about getting her back, I recommend that you avoid making these mistakes:
1. Writing her a letter or e-mail about being soulmates
Sometimes, a guy hopes that if he pours his heart out to his ex woman in a long letter (or e-mail), she will suddenly start seeing things from his point of view.
So, he’ll send her a letter saying something like, “I know that you might not want to hear this now that we’ve broken up, but I truly believe that you and I are soulmates. I feel it deep down in my soul. I feel so connected to you. I can’t get you out of my mind and I know that it’s a sign that you’re the one for me. So, I’m not giving up on us no matter what. I’m going to do whatever it takes to make you forgive me and give me another chance. That’s just what soulmates do. They don’t give up on love, even when things seem unfixable. So, please just think about this. If you do, you’ll realize that what I’m saying is true. You will feel it deep down in your soul that you and I are meant to be together.”
It sounds pretty cool, right?
A nice little speech.
Yet, talking about romantic notions via e-mail, written letter or a series of long text messages rarely (if ever) makes a woman change her mind. Why?
When a woman has stopped experiencing romantic feelings for her ex, him talking about them being soulmates just turns her off even more.
Instead of being swept off her feet by the notion of them being soulmates, she perceives his letter, message, text or e-mail as a desperate attempt to change her feelings for him because he has no idea how to re-attract her sexually.
So, if you don’t want your ex to see you as being a desperate, hopeless, confused romantic, don’t bother writing to her about your belief that you and her are soulmates.
She just won’t care about that kind of thing if her feelings for you are currently switched off.
You have to switch her feelings back on first, before she will even begin to care about romantic notions.
Another mistake that guys often make in your situation is…
2. Saying that she will never find a man who loves her like he does
This is actually true.
No one will ever love your ex like the way you did, but that doesn’t mean she can’t be in love or be happy with another guy.
So, saying that to her isn’t going to change her mind about being broken up (especially if you’ve done nothing else to re-spark her feelings of respect and sexual attraction for you).
Instead, it will usually just encourage her to try even harder to find herself a replacement guy, just so she can then prove you wrong.
No woman likes to be forced into loving a guy.
So, don’t bother telling your ex that your love for her is better than anyone else’s and that no other guy will ever love her the way you did.
Another mistake that guys often make in a situation like yours is…
3. Not using attraction to get her back
Not knowing what else to do to get his ex back, a guy will often decide to just hang around with his ex and act like a nice, sweet, neutral friend in the hopes that she will eventually realize what she’s been pushing away.
Yet, here’s the thing…
Hoping that your ex will reward your nice friendship with a sexual relationship, will usually end up with you being frustrated in the friend zone and disappointed when she starts dating a new man.
What you must get clear on is that, if you don’t actively re-spark her feelings of sexual and romantic attraction, all she’s going to feel for you is neutral feelings at best, or nothing at all at worst.
So, don’t act like a nice, neutral friend with your ex if what you really want is to be her man.
Be her friend if you want to, but also make sure you use every interaction you have with her to make her experience strong, irresistible, sexual feelings for you.
The more you do that, the more she will start seeing you as “the one” for her.
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