Here are 5 common reasons why a woman will tell her ex that she doesn’t want an exclusive relationship right now:
1. She just wants a casual sex relationship without all the responsibilities of a committed relationship
After a break up, a woman might want to enjoy being single for a while, rather than be restricted by a committed relationship.
So, if her ex tries to get her to commit to a relationship, she might say something along the lines of, “I’m sorry, but I don’t want an exclusive relationship right now. Maybe sometime in the future we can get back together again, but for now, I just want to be on my own and enjoy life.”
Essentially, she’s hoping that he will then give up on trying to get her back, so she can focus on enjoying sex without the responsibilities of a committed relationship.
He still can get her back, but his approach should not be about trying to get a relationship.
Instead, he needs to make her regret breaking up with him…
When you reactivate your ex’s sexual and romantic feelings for you, but don’t push for a relationship, her desire to sleep around will begin fade away.
She will be thinking about you and how you now make her feel and will naturally begin to worry that she has made a mistake.
She will also begin to worry that if you attract a new woman and move on, she will be the one being left behind.
As a result, she feels the need to open up to you again and give the relationship another try, or at least sleep together again to see how she feels afterwards.
On the other hand, if you keep trying to get her back without first reactivating her sexual and romantic feelings for you, she will keep saying, “Sorry, but I don’t want an exclusive relationship right now. Please accept that and move on.”
So, make sure that you approach the ex back process correctly.
If you approach it correctly, you can get another chance with her, but if you approach it in the way you have been up until now, she’s almost certainly going to keep rejecting you.
Another common reason why a woman will say that she doesn’t want an exclusive relationship right now is…
2. She is interested in another guy and is trying to keep you out of the way
In some cases, a woman might already have her eye on another guy that she’s hoping to get into a relationship with, or at least hook up with for a while.
Understandably, she might not want to tell her ex about that in case he reacts in a negative way (e.g. he starts to cry and beg her to reconsider her decision, he becomes angry with her and possibly reacts in an aggressive or even violent way, he tries to talk her out of moving on, he bombards her with texts or phone calls, he turns up at her home or work and demands that she talk with him and work things out).
So, rather than put herself in a position where she might have to deal with a confrontation, she just makes an excuse of not wanting an exclusive relationship right now, in the hope that her ex will give up and let her go, or at least give her some space so she can attract and seduce the guy she is interested.
This is why, if you want your ex back, you shouldn’t sit around waiting for her to give you the go ahead.
Instead, take control of the situation by actively re-attracting her on a phone call or in person.
When you make her feel the kind of emotions that she wants to feel with a guy (e.g. excited, attracted, turned on, aroused), she won’t be able to stop herself from feeling drawn to you again.
Even though she initially thought that she wanted to be with another guy, suddenly he isn’t as appealing as she once thought.
She then opens herself up to the idea of being your girl again.
However, if you just wait for her to come back to you without doing anything to reawaken her feelings for you, she will soon go from saying that she doesn’t want an exclusive relationship right now to saying, “I’m in love with someone else and it looks like it’s getting serious. I’m sorry, but I can’t talk to you anymore. Please don’t contact me again.”
So, don’t make the mistake of thinking that you need to give her a lot of time to think.
Cutting off contact and waiting is one of the most dangerous ex back myths out there…
Cutting off contact and waiting works well for a woman who has been dumped, but it doesn’t work the same way for a man who has been dumped.
When a man dumps a woman and she doesn’t call him or contact him at all, he will often feel like he has no power over her anymore and will wonder why she didn’t try to get him back.
He will then contact her, show interest and see how she responds.
He will want to hook up with her again to feel confident about himself that she still wants him.
So, she can then get him back by reeling him back in.
However, when a woman dumps a guy and he doesn’t contact her, she usually just moves on.
Why?
In most cases, a woman doesn’t need to get back with a guy to feel good about herself.
She already knows that the guy wants her back (e.g. he begged and pleaded for another chance, he tried to convince her to change her mind by promising to change).
So, rather than feeling like she needs to get him back to believe that she has the power, she wants to get away from him because she no longer feels enough respect or attraction for him to want sex or a relationship (e.g. because he became too insecure in the relationship, took her for granted for too long).
Another common reason why a woman will say that she doesn’t want an exclusive relationship right now is…
3. You’re asking for a relationship before you’ve completed the initial steps of the ex back process
The last step of the ex back process is a relationship, so if you’re trying to get her to commit to a relationship now, you’re doing it wrong.
Watch this…
Unfortunately, most guys never realize that they need to re-attract their woman first and then seduce her sexually, before she will open back up to a relationship.
So, in many cases, a guy will make some of the following mistakes:
- Bombard his ex with phone calls, text and social media messages as a way of staying on her mind so that she doesn’t move on.
- Send her flowers, gifts and love letters to express his undying love for her.
- Plead with her to talk to him about the relationship in the hopes that they can iron things out between them.
- Try to convince her to give him another chance by promising to change whatever she wants him to chance.
- Talk about how special their connection is and try to get her to see things from his point of view, so she will then want to give the relationship another chance.
- Feel like if he doesn’t get her to commit to a relationship right away, then there’s no chance of getting her back (i.e. it’s a relationship or nothing).
So, what should you do instead?
Get your ex to the point where she’s yearning for you to kiss her and have sex with her.
How?
Start by flirting with her and making her laugh and smile during a conversation, especially when she is being closed off or distant.
Then, when she starts feeling drawn to you again, go back to interacting in a normal, friendly manner and let her feel the desire for you to flirt with her again.
Repeat this process several times during the course of your interaction with you (e.g. over 15-20 minutes), until she starts wishing that you and her would just hug, kiss and have sex again.
Just remember: Your ex won’t be interested in a relationship unless you make her feel sexual and romantic attraction for you again.
Don’t try to go from a break up to a relationship in one step.
That’s not how it works when a woman no longer feels attracted to her ex.
If a woman is still attracted to her ex, then okay, she will open back up to a relationship fairly easily.
However, if your ex dumped you because she fell out of love with you and no longer feels attracted to you, then you’re going to need to re-attract her first.
Another common reason why a woman will say that she doesn’t want an exclusive relationship right now is…
4. She wants to give you hope while she secretly finds a replacement guy
Sometimes a woman will string her ex man along, just in case she struggles to find a new man who is a good enough replacement.
While she won’t clearly say that she’s open to getting back together, she won’t close the door completely.
Instead, she will say things like, “I don’t want an exclusive relationship right now. However, that doesn’t mean I won’t be open to settling down again sometime in the future. Please just give me some space to figure myself out and figure out what I want.”
She will then use that space to flirt with and potentially hook up with a new guy, so she can be the one who moves on first after the relationship.
When she does find a replacement guy, you will notice that her behavior will change completely and she will most likely become closed, distant or rude to get you out of the way.
Don’t let her put you through that nightmare scenario.
Take control of the situation by making her fall back in love with you, before she starts moving on.
Another common reason why a woman will say that she doesn’t want an exclusive relationship right now is…
5. She isn’t in love with you and doesn’t know how else to say, “I don’t want to be with you anymore”
Sometimes a woman might initially fall in love with a guy because he displays the qualities and personality traits that she is looking for in a man (e.g. he comes across as being confident and emotionally strong, he seems to be making progress in his career, he makes her feel desirable when she’s with him, he seems confident around her, he takes the lead and arranges dates, he seems to know how to make a woman feel like a real woman).
Yet, when she gets into a relationship with him, she then discovers that the man she fell in love with isn’t who she thought he was.
For example: She realizes that…
- His confidence was just an act and in reality, he’s actually quite insecure and self-doubting.
- Although he seemed to be moving forward in life, she now realizes that he’s stuck and not making any progress on his goals.
- Despite making her feel attracted in the beginning of the relationship, he now treats her more like a friend or a roommate.
- Despite taking the lead initially, he has now handed over power to her and essentially lets her call the shots, or expects her to lead and ‘be the man’ so to speak.
- She only felt like a real woman around him initially because he felt confident that she really wanted him. Yet, after the initial buzz of being with someone new wore off and she began to have a more relaxed approach to him and the relationship, he started to worry that he was losing her and ended up becoming insecure, needy or clingy.
When she notices things like that, her feelings of respect, attraction and love for him begin to fade and eventually that can then lead to her breaking up with him.
If he tries to get her back right away, rather than hurting him by saying, “No. There’s no chance of that happening. I don’t love you anymore and I don’t want to be with you,” she gives him an excuse about not wanting an exclusive relationship right now, to hopefully let him down gently.
As a result, he then doesn’t feel so bad about the break up and assumes that he needs to give her space to think about things.
She can move on without him.
Where Guys Go Wrong With an Ex Who Doesn’t Want an Exclusive Relationship
Even if your ex is 100% sure right now that she doesn’t want an exclusive relationship, she can change her mind very quickly.
If she meets a new guy who makes her feel strong surges of romantic and sexual love, she will naturally change her mind and want to be with him, possibly exclusively.
Don’t let that happen to you, where you are left behind by her because you believed her little excuse of not wanting an exclusive relationship.
She is almost certainly just saying that to have some time to move on without you, so she can eventually say, “You and I are finished. I’ve met someone else. You need to respect that. Please don’t contact me anymore.”
Here’s where other guys mess up when in a situation like yours…
1. Not understanding that he can actively make her have feelings for him again
Just because your ex is saying she doesn’t want to be in an exclusive relationship, it doesn’t mean she will feel that way a week from now when you have actively reawakened her feelings of respect, sexual attraction and love for you.
Those feelings change EVERYTHING.
So, don’t let what she has been saying lately put you off, or make you doubt your chance to re-attract her and get her back.
Decide today that you’re going to actively change how she feels about you, by interacting with her over the phone and in person and making her feel happy and excited to be around you again.
When you do that, you will see that she naturally changes her mind and wants to explore her new feelings for you.
Another mistake that other guys make when in a situation like yours, is…
2. Continuing to push for a relationship when the feelings aren’t mutual
Sometimes, a guy refuses to believe that his ex doesn’t want to be in a relationship with him anymore.
He just can’t understand how she could walk away from what they had.
It was such a special, unique connection.
They shared so many good times together, so how could she just walk away and not want to work on the relationship?
As a result of thinking in that way, a guy will continues to push her to give him another chance.
Yet, what he doesn’t realize is that for a woman to want to get back together again, the feelings have to be mutual or at least close to mutual.
It can’t just be about him loving her and wanting her back.
Instead, she has to feel like she will be making a big mistake if she doesn’t get back with him.
You can make her feel that way by reawakening her feelings and then not pushing for a relationship.
She feels attracted to you again and notices that you’re not trying to get a relationship.
She then begins to worry that if she doesn’t give you another chance, you are going to attract a new woman and she will then be left behind.
Another mistake that other guys make when in a situation like yours, is…
3. Cutting off contact and waiting for her to change her mind
Some guys hope that their ex woman will be impressed by his non-neediness if he completely cuts off communication with her.
He hopes that she will think something along the lines of, “My ex is being so mature about this! He’s respecting my wishes and giving her some space to have other relationships if I want. He’s not need anymore because he’s not contacting me! Wow, he has changed! You know what? Having the freedom to do whatever I want doesn’t appeal that much to me anymore. Instead, I miss him and want to be in a relationship with only him! I want to be exclusive!” and she then comes running back to him.
Yet, if a woman isn’t attracted to her ex anymore, she’s usually not going to care all that much that he’s ignoring her, other than being curious as to why.
She might contact him to say hi, but only to see that he has been missing her and still wants her back.
She then knows that she can continue moving on with the comforting knowledge that he wants her back, but she doesn’t want him back.
So, if you want your ex back, don’t cut off contact and hope she will miss you enough to come back to you.
Instead, make her miss you by interacting with her and making her feel so good that when you’re not around, she feels empty and sad.
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