If your ex girlfriend seems to be happy with her new guy, that doesn’t mean you cannot get her to re-connect with her original feelings of love for you.
What you need to do is stay in touch with her by any means possible (e.g. via text messages, social media, talking to her on the phone, or seeing her in person), so you can use the interactions you have to re-spark and rebuild her feelings for you.
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When getting an ex back from a new guy that she is happy with, her new guy might not care if you contact her or he might be very worried about you contacting her and taking her back.
Sometimes the guy is going to be insecure and will try to block your ex from talking to you and other times, he’s not really going to be that into your ex and won’t care if she goes back to you.
He might be telling her that he cares about her and wants to stay with her, but most rebound relationships break up and most relationships in general go through a break up.
So, while it might seem like they are perfect for each other because she is happy with him, don’t forget that your ex girlfriend used to be happy with you too.
If you want to her your ex girlfriend back, you’ve got to make the most of any contact you have with her.
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Essentially, the main thing you need to focus on is getting her to feel a renewed sense of respect and attraction for you, every time you interact with her, while also making her new guy seem less attractive compared to the new you.
If you can do that, she will change the way that she thinks about you and when that happens, she will begin to feel differently about you.
Once you achieve that, your ex girlfriend will become open to communicating with you, meeting up with you and getting back with you again.
The Main Reason Why She Feels Attracted to Her New Guy
Right now, if your ex girlfriend feels like she is happy with her new guy, it’s usually because he is very different from you, and he is filling in the emotional gaps that were missing in your relationship with her.
For example: If a woman felt that her ex boyfriend was taking her for granted (e.g. by not paying too much attention to her once the relationship got past the early stages of excitement, he put her second to his job/friends/family all the time), then her new guy will be someone who makes her feel like a princess (e.g. always tells her how beautiful she looks, puts her first in his life).
If you took your ex girlfriend for granted, watch this video on how to recover from that and get her starting to forgive you…
If a woman’s ex boyfriend was insecure and clingy in the relationship (qualities that are instinctively unattractive to women), then her new guy will usually be someone who is confident and comes across as being emotionally strong.
The new guy only has to be a little bit more confident in subtle ways and it will usually be enough for the woman to feel like she’s getting a better experience with him, compared to her insecure ex.
So, what is making your ex girlfriend feel happy with her new guy right now, is that she is comparing the negative things about her relationship with you to the positive things she is experiencing with her new guy.
She’s not really noticing the negative things about him yet, because she’s only focusing on how he is making her feel in comparison to how she was feeling when she was with you.
For example: If a woman was feeling taken for granted with her ex, and now she’s feeling loved, appreciated, and is enjoying being treated like a princess; she will focus on that.
She will tell her girlfriends, “It’s so nice to be taken care of for once. My ex was such a selfish asshole. I deserve the nice treatment that I am getting now.”
Even if her new guy is lacking in other areas of the relationship (e.g. he’s not moving through the levels of life like a man, he has no big plans for his life), she’s not noticing those things about him yet, because of how happy he is making her feel in comparison to her ex.
Right now, your ex girlfriend is simply focusing on the one thing about her new guy that is different from her relationship with you, and it is making her feel good.
So, the way for you to stand out as being more attractive than him, is to be the more emotionally strong and mature one whenever you interact with her.
You should also focus on making her feel attracted to you by getting her to laugh, smile and feel good whenever you interact with her.
Let her see that she still has a good relationship with you (i.e. as a friend), rather than telling her that she would have a good relationship with you if she came back.
She will become interested in you again if she can see that you do make her feel good in different ways.
After all, that’s most of what a woman wants in a relationship. She just wants to feel respect for you, feel attracted to you, love you and see that you feel the same way about her.
You can make your ex girlfriend look at you in that way again if you are willing to do what it takes to improve on your weaknesses and strengthen your strengths.
You can be even more attractive to her that you’ve ever been before.
You really can.
You haven’t reached your true potential as a man yet. You are better than who you’ve been so far in life.
You are now at a crossroads in your life where your either going to become a better man, or feed sad and depressed and become an insecure man who thinks that he’s not good enough to keep a woman happy in a relationship.
You are.
You can do that with your ex, who will then become your girlfriend again.
You can then make the relationship even better than it was before by being a new, improved man that she can look up to and respect as well as feel attracted and happy around.
When you do that (even just a little better than you did before), she will start to reconnect with her original feelings for you.
How to Make Your Ex Girlfriend Want to Come Back to You
The way to get your ex girlfriend to want to dump her current boyfriend and want to come back to you, begins by understanding and starting to truly change the things about you that didn’t make her happy.
At this point of the ex back process, some guys might wonder, “I don’t know what to change about myself to get her back, so where do I even start?” or “My ex girlfriend never told me what was wrong before she broke up with me. How can I know what she wants me to change?”
The first thing you need to be clear on, is that a woman will almost never come out and tell a guy directly what he’s doing wrong in the relationship. Why?
A woman doesn’t want to be a guy’s teacher in life about how to be a man.
If she has to teach him how to be the man that she needs him to be, she fears that she will need to teach him again and again in the future.
If that keeps happening, she will end up feeling like she has to take care of him like a mother, big sister or teacher, and that’s not attractive to her.
A woman wants her man to figure out how to be a man without her help, which is why she will give him hints (e.g. throwing tantrums, arguing with him, changing her behavior), in the hopes that he will notice and then make the necessary changes.
So, if you want your ex girlfriend to see you as being better than her new guy, you have to begin to fix the things that were a problem in her relationship with you, but are great in her relationship with her new guy.
Here’s the really cool part….
Once you change the things about you that made your her unhappy and you begin to make her feel respect, attraction, love and happiness when she interacts with you, she will start noticing the problems with her new guy, because you will now be giving her what she really wants in a relationship.
So, if you’re still unsure about what caused your ex to become unhappy in your relationship, here are some questions to get you thinking about what you might:
1. Were you clingy?
A guy who is clingy and needy in a relationship is a big turn off for most women, because it is a sign of emotional weakness.
Some insecure, dominating women like a clingy guy, because he is easy to control and can make her feel good about herself, but most feminine women prefer to be with a guy who is emotionally strong with or without her.
When a guy is clingy, a woman will subtly try to let him know that she doesn’t like it so that he can then change (e.g. by showing less affection, changing her behavior).
For example: A woman might say something like, “Why don’t you call up your friends? You haven’t seen anyone for weeks now; don’t you think it would be nice for us to hook up with them for some drinks or coffee?”
A clingy guy might then say, “I’d rather be with you than with anyone else. Who cares about my old friends? I love being with you. That is what makes me happy. I want to spend every waking moment with you.”
In his mind, he thinks that she might be impressed by how much he loves her by rejecting the idea of spending time with friends.
Yet, what she’s trying to tell him is, “You’re smothering me by being so clingy and needy all the time. If you don’t start having some interests outside of our relationship, I’m probably going to ask for time apart or break up with you because I don’t want to be with a guy who hides from life behind me.”
Another example of being clingy is just needing her to tell you that she loved you all the time, or needing her hugs to feel better about yourself.
There’s nothing wrong with enjoying your woman saying, “I love you” or enjoying her hugs, but needing them to feel emotionally secure means that a guy is needy.
So, in your relationship with your ex girlfriend, did you become clingy? Did you stop having serious interests outside of your relationship with her?
2. Did you take her for granted?
A common reason why a woman will break up with her boyfriend is if he takes her love, attraction, respect and commitment for granted.
For example: At the beginning of the relationship, a guy might be attentive, charming and romantic towards his new girlfriend.
He might take her out to romantic dinners, compliment her about her appearance (e.g. “You’re so beautiful,” or “I love the way you always look so sexy. Even when you’re wearing an old tracksuit you look sexy to me”) always return her calls, never cancel plans at the last minute and generally be a loving, caring boyfriend.
Yet, what often happens is that when the relationship gets more comfortable, a guy falls into a habit of taking her commitment to him for granted.
For example: He no longer compliments her about her looks, because in his mind he’s thinking, “I’ve already told her so many times. She knows that I think she’s sexy. Why should I tell her over and over again?”
If they start living together, he might then stop taking her out to romantic dinners, because in his view, her cooking is so much better than takeout or restaurant food.
However, in her eyes, she starts to feel like the cook and that he’s just taking advantage of her without ever putting any effort into romance.
If a woman stops feeling loved and appreciated in her relationship, she will naturally start to feel unhappy.
Then, if a really nice guy comes along who makes her feel loved, appreciated and special, she will naturally feel drawn to him and consider herself to be happier with him, because he is filling in the emotional gaps that were missing with her ex.
3. Does she feel as though you’re not emotionally tough enough for a girl like her?
Women are instinctively attracted to the emotional toughness in men (e.g. confidence, determination, purpose in life, high self-esteem) and turned off by the emotional weakness (e.g. insecurity, self-doubt, lack of ambition and direction in life).
If a woman is stuck with a guy that she perceives as being emotionally weak, she will naturally begin to lose respect and attraction for him.
Here are some examples of emotional weakness:
- He lacks confidence in himself around her and other people.
- He feels unworthy of her because he places her her above himself in terms of attractive value.
- He believes that he got lucky with her and that he wouldn’t be able to attract other quality women if she left him.
- He hides from his true potential in life because he’s afraid of failure or being embarrassed if people make fun of him for losing.
- He is shy, submissive or nervous around confident men.
- He often whines about life and complains that it’s all too difficult.
- He lets his girlfriend get away with treating him badly (e.g. not calling him when she says she will, flirting with other guys when they go out together).
Some guys feel as though their girlfriend should put up with that kind of emotional weakness because he loves her so much.
Yet, a woman doesn’t want to be a guy’s mother or big sister figure in life. She wants to be a man’s woman or man’s girl.
4. Does she feel like she wears the pants in her relationship with you?
Regardless of whether a woman is a doctor, a lawyer, or even the president of her country, when she is with her man, she wants to know that he is the man, and that she can then relax into being a feminine woman around him.
If a woman gets a sense that she is the more dominant one in the relationship, no matter how much she might initially enjoy having so much power over him, eventually she’s going to lose all respect for him because he’s taken on the role of being the submissive woman and she then has to behave like the man.
Some women are more masculine and enjoy being in a relationship where the male/female dynamic is reversed, but most women prefer to be with a man who is the man all the time.
If your ex girlfriend is a feminine woman, she doesn’t want to be able to dominate you.
She wants to be your girl, not your friend, your big sister, teacher or mother figure in this life.
5. Did you make her feel stressed out when she was around you?
One of the biggest things that cause a woman to feel unhappy in her relationship with a guy, is when the guy makes her feel unsafe and stressed out.
For example: He’s always annoying her to get her attention, he’s too clingy, he starts arguments for the heck of it or puts too much pressure on her to follow strict relationship rules.
Another example is where he isn’t making enough of an effort to become successful in life and as a result, he’s often struggling to pay bills or getting into trouble at work or falling behind at university.
If a woman wants a man who is emotionally strong enough to rise up through the levels of life, she’s going to feel stressed out when she feels like she is the more responsible one of the two of them.
A woman might then say to her boyfriend, “Why are you always hanging around watching TV? You’re so lazy; you’ll never get anywhere in your life with your attitude and approach to things.”
Even though she can earn her own money and succeed in a career on her own, a woman just doesn’t want to get stuck with a man who is going to struggle to put food on the table, or will be unable to take care of her and any children they might have in the future.
It’s a very competitive world these days and if a guy is going to do well, he has to be emotionally strong, mature and consistent, otherwise other guys are just going to overtake him and he will be left behind.
If a woman feels like she is with a potential loser, she’s will often say things like, “I need time apart to find myself” or “I want to be alone for a while to focus on what I want.”
What she is essentially saying is, “You aren’t making me feel safe. You have forced me to have to think like a man and focus on my own success in life. I can’t relax and be your girl. I have to be more of a goal-focused, driven, determined, strong woman with you and because of that, I now feel like you are more of a burden than a benefit to me in this life, so I want out.”
Most women want to know that their man is in control of his life and is the kind of man she can look up to, respect and depend on through challenging times.
She doesn’t want feel like she’s living on the edge and that their whole life could come crashing down at any moment.
So, if you want to get your ex girlfriend back from this new guy, you’ve first got to clear on what caused your ex girlfriend to break up with you, so you can then impress her with the changes you’ve made.
When she sees that you understand where you were going wrong and have already changed or begun to change, she will naturally feel a renewed sense of respect and attraction for you.
You Can Get Her Back By Using Every Interaction With Her as an Opportunity to Rebuild Her Feelings For You
If your ex girlfriend is happy with her new guy, you have to remember one thing:
Regardless of how you’re communicating with her (e.g. via text message, on social media, on the telephone, or in person) you have to make sure that every time you’re interacting with her you’re making her feel a renewed sense of attraction and respect for you.
You can do that by making her smile and laugh, and by showing her via your body language and the way you talk, behave and communicate with her, that you’ve changed and that you’re no longer the same guy that she broke up with.
When you trigger a your ex’s feelings of attraction for you in this way, it makes the negative aspects of your relationship seem less important to her now, because she is naturally feeling drawn to you in a way that feels good to her.
If she constantly experiences you as being a new man who is very different from the ex that she remembers, she won’t be able to stop herself from wanting to be around you again, even though she previously might have thought that she was over you and was happy with her new guy.
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