5 possible reasons why:
1. She wants to clear her conscience because she knows that you’re a great guy and didn’t deserve to be treated the way she treated you
Sometimes a woman will break up with a guy who is a good guy and didn’t really do anything wrong, other than being unattractive to her (i.e. being too nice, insecure, soft, needy).
For example: He’s a good guy, is loving and attentive, treats her well, is generous and always wants what is best for her.
Additionally, they never fight about anything (usually because he gives her whatever she wants and tries to keep her happy).
In fact, he’s such a great guy that her friends and family love him and are always saying things like, “You’re so lucky! I wish I had a guy like that in my life,” or “He’s so amazing. You better make sure you hold on to him.”
Yet, even though everything seems idyllic on the surface or to other people, deep down, she feels as though something is missing.
She can’t really put her finger on it, but she’s just not as happy and content as everyone keeps telling her she should be.
Why?
She’s not getting the kind of attraction experience she really wants in a relationship.
She wants to be with a guy who is more confident and who treats her well, but also makes her feel compelled to treat him well also.
She wants to feel motivated to cook, clean and pleasure him sexually, rather than feeling like she can do whatever, be lazy or be bitchy and he’ll keep treating her like a princess.
In his mind, he feels like he’s doing the right thing because he was raised to treat people with kindness and be a good person.
What he doesn’t understand though is that, when in a romantic relationship with a woman, it’s not all about being nice.
A man also has to be attractive (i.e. be manly, confident, not be walked all over by a woman).
If he doesn’t understand that, she will decide to break up with him, even though she can’t come up with a good enough reason why (i.e. because he’s been treating her well).
So, a woman will usually say that she needs to find herself, or be alone for a while, to create some space between him and her.
For the guy, it will usually come as a huge shock.
He won’t be able to understand why it is happening to him and may end up thinking, “What did I do wrong? I honestly thought we were happy. I did everything I could for her. This is so unexpected I don’t even know how to deal with it. I am gutted.”
When his woman notices how broken and devastated he seems, she will naturally feel bad for making him feel that way because he’s a good guy and doesn’t deserve to be treated badly.
So, she might then (or eventually in most cases) say something along the lines of, “I’m sorry for hurting you. Please know that it’s not your fault. It’s me. I’m just messed up right now. You really are a great guy and I’m sorry it has to be this way” to ease her conscience.
Essentially, she’s hoping that by apologizing to him, he will feel a bit better and she won’t feel as guilty for not being able to love him the way everyone expected her to.
She hopes to then feel free to move on and find a new man who makes her feel the way she wants to feel in a relationship (i.e. motivated to treat him well, in love).
Her ex is then left behind wondering what she meant by apologizing for hurting him.
Yet, that doesn’t matter as much as this: What is he doing to get her back?
All that matters right now (if you want her back that is), is what you are doing to get her back.
Are you prepared and ready to interact with her, re-attract her, reawaken her feelings and get her back?
Another possible reason why your ex girlfriend said she’s sorry for hurting you is…
2. She’s just saying that as a matter of social obligation because you’ve told her how much she hurt you
She knows that you are (or were) devastated by the breakup and rather than acting like a cold, heartless woman, she says that she is sorry for hurting you.
In that way, she’s doing what is expected of her under the circumstances (i.e. performing her social obligation to be nice to an ex when he’s experiencing pain) and therefore, he and other people shouldn’t think of her as being a bad person.
If he discusses the breakup with other people and mentions that she apologized for hurting him, they will likely say things like, “Well, she apologized. These things happen. Maybe you two just weren’t meant to be.”
As a result, it can make her ex feel as though he should leave her alone, rather than re-attracting her and getting her back while he still has a chance.
So, he then hesitates and she uses that time to move on with another man, without having to be looked at as a cold, heartless woman who didn’t care about him.
Another possible reason why your ex girlfriend said she’s sorry for hurting you is…
3. She misses you and wants you back and saying sorry is her way of trying to show that to you
There are times when a woman will break up with a guy, only to eventually discover that she made a mistake.
In some cases, she will then decide to apologize to him for hurting him.
Essentially, it’s her subtle way of hinting that she wants him to forgive her and give the relationship another chance.
Of course, most women won’t ever come out and say that, because they worry that their ex will reject them and say something like, “You’re the one who broke up with me. Now you just have to live with the consequences of your actions, because I’m not interested in you anymore.”
If she gets that kind of response, then he walks away as the dumper and she is left feeling rejected and in pain.
So, to protect herself from getting rejected, a woman will usually just say sorry to her ex for hurting him and then wait for him to make the move to get her back.
If he does, then he will get her back easily because she wants to happen too.
Yet, if he doesn’t make a move, a woman will usually just accept that he’s now over her and will then focus on moving on (usually by hooking up with and dating other guys).
This is why you need to take control of the situation and begin the process of getting her back, while you still can.
Here are some examples of what you can do to get started:
- Believe in yourself and your value to her, rather than allowing negative thoughts such as, “What if she doesn’t really want me and she was only being nice?” to stop you from calling her and arranging a catch up in person.
- Be prepared for the possibility that she won’t make it easy for you (e.g. she might react by being a little cold or distant, pretend she’s not interested, say that she isn’t sure about meeting up when you first suggest it). To counter that, be sure to maintain your confidence, rather than feeling insecure, giving up too quickly or easily and then missing out on the chance she wants to give you.
- Use humor to melt her defenses and make her smile, laugh and feel happy to be around you again, rather than stressing her out by getting into deep, emotional, drawn-out discussions about the relationship, or about how she hurt you and what went wrong.
- Don’t be afraid to flirt with her and create some sexual tension between you, rather than just acting neutral friend, or unworthy ex.
- Be more of a playful challenge to her now, rather than being a puppy dog and letting her feel like she has all the power. Women are always more attracted to men who are a challenge and if you can treat her well at the same time, you will be seen as a ‘catch’ that can’t be let go. Women know how hard it is to find a confident guy who treats them well, but who also makes her feel compelled to treat him well and be attractive for him.
- Let her sense via your attitude, conversation style, actions and behavior that you’ve leveled up as a man. You are now a man that she can truly look up and respect. You haven’t remained stuck at the same level you were at when she dumped you (i.e. you have overcome insecurities, become more emotionally manly and strong, know how to flirt and create sexual tension between you and her more effectively).
The more you reawaken her sexual and romantic feelings for you, the more she will want to be your girl again.
Another possible reason why your ex girlfriend said she’s sorry for hurting you is…
4. After having time to think about it, she has realized that she was in the wrong and just wants to let you know
Sometimes, a woman doesn’t know how to end a relationship with a guy in a nice way, so she ends up going overboard to get the job done.
For example: She might pick a fight with him over something irrelevant and when he argues with her about it, she just says something like, “That’s it! I’ve had enough! It’s over and I never want to see you again.”
She then walks away, while he’s left feeling stunned and unsure of what he did wrong to cause the breakup.
Alternatively, she might insult him and blame him for all her problems (e.g. blame him for her depression or anxiety, accuse him of holding her back and preventing her from becoming successful, etc).
In some cases, a woman might even be rude, angry, mean and unreasonable to hopefully cause him to lose his temper.
She can then say something like, “I can’t believe you’re acting like this. You’re being crazy. You’re so angry right now. What’s next… are you going to hit me? I’m sorry, but I don’t feel safe around you anymore. I think it’s time that we accept that this relationship is over.”
Yet, over time, she may eventually come to realize that her behavior wasn’t very nice.
So, as a way of taking responsibility for her actions, she might then reach out and apologize for hurting him in the way she did.
The best way to respond to her apology is by using it to spark new feelings of sexual and romantic attraction for you.
For example: In a manly way, you can playfully and confidently say to her, “Well, if you’re really sorry for hurting me, you’re going to have to prove it to me.”
She will likely respond with something like, “What? How?”
You can then say, “You have to take me out for coffee and a cake this week. I’m busy on Monday and Tuesday, but free on Wednesday or Thursday. So, which day is best for you?”
Alternatively, you can suggest that she cook you dinner and make some recipe of hers that you always liked.
If she misses you, she will open up and go along with it.
Yet, if she is unsure or is worried about coming across as too keen (and therefore, signaling to you that you don’t really have to change much to get her back), she may be a bit resistant at first by saying something like, “I don’t think it’s a good idea for us to meet up.”
Whatever her reaction is, you must maintain your confidence with her, be a bit playful and get the meet up.
When you meet up with her, make sure that you are prepared to create a new spark with her (i.e. by attracting her in new, interesting ways), so she feels compelled to get back with you.
Another possible reason why your ex girlfriend said she’s sorry for hurting you is…
5. She wants to leave things on a good note with you, rather than feeling as though you hate her or resent her
When a woman breaks up with a good guy who hasn’t done anything terrible to her (i.e. he didn’t lie, cheat or hurt her, but simply couldn’t give her the attraction experience she really wanted), she will usually feel pretty bad about it.
As a result, she may try to make him (and herself) feel better by saying something along the lines of, “I’m sorry for hurting you. It was never my intention for all of that to happen, but it did. I hope you can forgive me. You’re really a great guy and I will always have a special place in my heart for you.”
She can move on without feeling so guilty and possibly even keep him as a friend.
The great thing about staying friends is that you can get her back a lot faster.
Just don’t make the mistake that a lot of guys make when remaining friends with an ex; only acting like a friend.
If you want her back, you have to use any interactions you have with her to create new sexual and romantic feelings for you.
Being a nice, neutral friend isn’t the way to create those feelings, especially if she’s meeting other guys who are making her feel sexually and romantically attracted.
Whether it’s dating, relationships or getting an ex woman back, you always have to remember this: A woman isn’t looking for a friend in a man. She’s looking for a lover, boyfriend or husband.
So, if you want to get your ex girlfriend back, make sure that you actively spark her feelings of sexual and romantic attraction during interactions, rather than pretending that you’re okay with just being her neutral friend.
Of course, it’s totally fine to be friendly with her or be nice to her, as long as you’re not pretending to be an innocent friend who isn’t interested in her in a sexual or romantic way anymore.
Don’t tell her that you want her sexually or romantically.
Let her sense it based on the way you flirt with her and make her feel turned on as you interact with her.
Essentially, interact with her in the same way you would when picking up a new woman.
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