Here are 5 common reasons why a woman will say that to her ex guy:
1. He’s trying to get her back even though the feelings aren’t mutual yet
When a guy gets dumped and he suddenly realizes that he’s is losing the woman he loves, panic might set in and as a result, he may begin to behave in ways that are seeing as annoying by her.
For example: He might…
- Repeatedly text, send messages via social media and call her on the phone to say things like, “Please just give me one more chance!” or, “Please don’t just end it without at least giving me an opportunity to explain” or, “I love you. Please don’t do this. I will do whatever it takes to make it work between you and me. Please just give me a chance.”
- Show up at her house or work uninvited and pressure her into having long, stressful conversations about the relationship and break up.
- Send her flowers and gifts to apologize and ask her to give him another chance.
- Ask her friends or family to help convince her to reconsider her decision.
- Try to make her feel guilty for how sad, dejected, depressed, lost or lonely he is without her.
He hopes that she will see his desperate efforts as meaning that they are meant to be together.
After all, if he’s going to all that effort, surely he must be sincere, right?
Well, that’s not how a woman sees it or thinks about it after a break up.
When a woman has lost touch with her feelings of love, respect and attraction for a guy and then breaks up with him, she changes the way she thinks about him and looks at him.
Rather than feeling flattered that he’s putting in so much effort to get her back, she will begin to feel annoyed by his constant pestering.
As a result, she will begin to want to distance herself from him (e.g. block his number on her phone, unfriend him on social media, get a restraining order against him to stop him from showing up uninvited, tell family and friends to not give any more details about her to him, ignore his texts and calls).
If her ex guy notices that she is distancing herself and then becomes emotionally wimpy and begins to sulk or complain to her, then he will be making what I refer to as the biggest mistake to avoid when trying to get an ex woman back…
Here’s the thing…
A woman doesn’t want to be in a relationship that feels forced or one-sided (i.e. you have feelings for her, but she doesn’t have feelings for you).
Instead, a woman wants to be in love with her man and feel naturally drawn to him based on how much attraction his behavior makes her feel.
After a break up, she doesn’t want to have to put in loads of effort to make a relationship work with a guy who doesn’t yet understand how to be the man she needs.
So, if you want your ex girlfriend to stop saying that you’re being annoying and instead want you back, you have to stop focusing on what you want and start giving her what she wants (i.e. to feel respect, attraction and love for you based on your new and improved behavior).
It can’t be all about how much you love her and need her back for your reasons.
It has to be about her feeling attracted and drawn to you for her reasons (i.e. she likes how confident you are now, she likes how you no longer feel insecure when she is being difficult or putting you down, she likes how you are able to make her smile and laugh, even when she is being cold and distant).
Focus on that and you will naturally get her back without a fight.
Another common reason why a woman will say that her ex is being annoying is because…
2. He doesn’t understand what she really wants him to change, so he’s offering her all the wrong things
Quite often, a woman will break up with a guy without coming out and telling him her secret reasons for doing so.
Instead, she might say something like, “I’m tired of trying to make this relationship work. All we ever do is argue and fight over everything and I feel stressed out all the time. I’m sick of it and I want out.”
Unfortunately, because of that, a guy might not realize that her secret reasons are different to the reason of wanting to break up due to arguments and fighting.
So, when he tries to get her back, rather than offering her what she really wants, he offers to change things about himself that don’t matter to her.
For example: In a case where a woman says she’s tired of fighting and arguing, a guy might make the mistake of thinking that if he chills out and lets her call the shots in the relationship from now on, they will no longer disagree.
He assumes that if they no longer disagree because he just accepts whatever she wants, then there will be no more fighting and the problem will be solved.
Yet, being the boss in the relationship is usually the last thing that she wants.
In fact, feeling more emotionally dominant than a man is one of main reasons why a woman will end a relationship (i.e. because she can’t respect him and look up to him when he’s being wimpy and submissive to her).
So, by offering to become more docile and submissive to her will, it will simply convince her that he has no idea what she really wants.
If he continues to insist that he will stop arguing with her and let her have her way in the relationship, she will eventually start to feel annoyed by his lack of insight into what women really want from a man.
As a result, she will keep pushing him away and will start focusing on finding a new man.
So, if your ex girlfriend has been saying that you’ve been annoying lately, it may be because you don’t really understand her real reasons for breaking up with you.
You may have been offering to change the wrong things about yourself (e.g. be nicer, when she really wants you to be more ballsy) to get her back and she’s now fed up with it.
Another common reason why a woman will say that her ex is being annoying is because…
3. He’s trying to get her back via text
One of the most annoying things to a woman, is when an ex guy tries to get her back via text.
Why?
Firstly, it makes her feel that she’s not important enough for him to even bother picking up the phone and talking to her in person when trying to get her back.
Instead, he sends her a bunch of words on a screen in the hope that she will say, “Oh, okay. Sure, let’s forget about everything that happened between us and try again.”
She sees that as a half-assed effort to get her back, which she then sees as being annoying or insulting.
Secondly, when a woman has lost touch with her feelings for a guy, anything that he sends her via text will be judged based on her most recent experiences with him (e.g. the last fight she had with him, the last promise he made her to change but didn’t keep, the break up, how he has behaved since).
So, if she currently thinks of her ex in a negative way, she’s going to look at his texts in a negative way too.
Rather than think, “What a cool text! He’s being so sweet. I’m so impressed! He really is trying to make things right between us,” she may be thinking, “Does he really think I’m going to give him another chance just because he’s saying that he’s changed via text? If he couldn’t be trusted to keep his word in the relationship when he was looking me in the eye and promising me, what makes him think that I’d believe him now when he is hiding behind text messages?”
As a result, she’s going to feel annoyed with him and will continue to say, “No. I’m not interested in getting back together again. Leave me alone.”
This is why, asking your ex for another chance should be done in person and only after you have first reactivated her feelings of respect and attraction for you on a phone call, or in person.
Don’t ask for another chance via text.
Don’t ask for another chance before you’ve reactivated her feelings of respect and attraction.
Approach things in the correct order and you will get her back.
Approach things in a lazy way (i.e. text her and ask for another chance) and you will almost certainly get rejected and miss out on getting her back.
Another common reason why a woman will say that her ex is being annoying is because…
4. He isn’t being mature about the ex back process
When a guy doesn’t have a lot of experience with relationships, he might not have the most mature reaction to being broken up with, because he simply doesn’t know any better.
For example: A guy might…
- Constantly beg and plead with his ex to give him another chance.
- Whine to her about how bad he’s feeling and hope that she takes pity on him.
- Harass her for not wanting to discuss the relationship with him.
- Get overly emotional (and possibly even cry), when he talks to her on the phone or in person.
- Hope that if he breaks down and cries in front of her, it will show her how much he loves her and she will then want to get back with him.
- Demand that she not go out with her single girlfriends or go on any dates until they’ve resolved their relationship problems.
Here’s the thing…
Although it’s understandable that a guy may feel upset about being dumped, falling apart emotionally and behaving like an immature brat is not okay to a woman.
Not only does it annoy a woman, but it also begins to kill any remaining respect that she has for him.
When she can’t respect him anymore, she doesn’t feel much attraction and begins to feel the need to move on without him.
Another common reason why a woman will say that her ex is being annoying is because…
5. He’s trying to make her feel guilty for leaving him, or pity for how bad he feels now that she doesn’t want him back
Imagine how a woman would feel if she is trying to move on after a break up, but her ex is constantly hovering around her (e.g. texting or call, showing up at her house or at places where he knows she’s likely to be) and trying to make her feel guilty about leaving him.
He’s saying things like, “I can’t believe you did this to me! Did our love mean anything to you? I know that I wasn’t the perfect boyfriend, but I don’t think I deserve this! How could you just leave me? We could have made it work between us if you hadn’t just dumped me like that,” or “How can you not care about me anymore? Just the other week, you told me that you loved me and now you won’t even give me a chance to make things right between us. Don’t you even care that I still love you?”
He’s trying to get her back and it seems like he makes a good argument with what he’s saying, right?
After all, he loves her and is sincere about trying to make things work.
So, what is her problem?
Well, she has broken up with him and as a result, she no longer feels like his girlfriend.
When she doesn’t feel like his girlfriend anymore, she doesn’t feel the pressure of having to live up to the responsibilities of that role (i.e. caring for her boyfriend, trying to work things out, being patient and loving).
Instead, now that she is single, she feels the need to take care of herself and start trying to move on and find a better future for herself.
This is why trying to make your ex feel guilt or pity for the emotional pain that you’re experiencing will usually just push her away even further.
So, don’t try to get your ex back by making her feel sorry for you.
Instead, focus on reawakening her feelings of respect and sexual attraction for you, so that interacting with you actually starts to feel good to her.
Then, giving you another chance will be something she wants to do, rather than something that she is being forced to do out of pity or guilt.
4 Mistakes That Will Annoy Her Even More
If your ex girlfriend said that you’re being annoying, it may be because certain aspects of your behavior and the way you talk and interact with her have been turning her off (e.g. whining, constantly trying to discuss the relationship, sulking, complaining, getting annoyed with her).
So, when you change your approach (i.e. think, act and behave in more attractive ways), she will naturally begin to change how she feels about you and the situation.
On the other hand, if continue to say and do things that turn her off, she’s going to keep pushing you away and saying, “Just leave me alone! You’re being so annoying! Stop it! Just go away.”
If you don’t want her to say something like that to you, be sure to avoid the following mistakes:
1. Not realizing that needing her back will be seen as selfish by her
You wanting to get your ex back is NOT selfish.
However, if she gets the sense that you need her back to feel okay about yourself again, then she WILL see your attempts to get her back as selfish.
In other words, if it’s all about you getting what you want (even if you say that you’re doing it for her, or are willing to do whatever she wants), then it’s seen as selfish.
To get a woman back, you have to make her feel a renewed sense of respect and attraction for you, so she naturally feels like she has a reason to want to get back with you.
When she feels like getting back with you would be a good thing for her to do (you can make her feel that way in minutes), then she will open up to you again.
The next mistake to avoid is…
2. Trying to convince her to give him another chance
When a woman has disconnected from her feelings of love, respect and attraction for a guy, him trying to talk her back into a relationship with him simply doesn’t work.
Why?
She doesn’t have feelings for him anymore, so she doesn’t really care how convincing his arguments might be.
No matter what he says, it just doesn’t hit the mark with her because she doesn’t feel attracted to him anymore.
She feels disconnected from any of the sexual or romantic feelings she used to have for him, so she doesn’t look at him as a boyfriend anymore.
He’s almost like a stranger to her now.
This is why trying to convince an ex woman to give you another chance usually won’t work, if you haven’t first reactivated her feelings of sexual and romantic attraction.
So, if you want your ex girlfriend to drop her guard and listen to what you have to say, you have to first change how she feels by using a new approach with her (e.g. if you’ve been irritating her by begging for another chance, switch your approach to being easy-going, using humor to make her smile and laugh and flirting with her to build up sexual tension).
When you change how she feels, she will then naturally change her mind and open back up to you.
However, if you keep trying to break through her defenses by using the same old approach over and over again (e.g. telling her reasons why you think the relationship deserves another chance, telling her how much you love her, telling her how much you’ve been hurting since the break up), she will just keep saying, “No.”
The next mistake to avoid is…
3. Waiting too long to get to a phone call or an in person meet up and she then loses interest
It’s very difficult to reawaken a woman’s feelings of respect, attraction and love without actually talking to her (preferably face-to-face), where she can hear the sincerity in your voice and see your confidence coming through via your body language.
So, if your goal is to get your ex back, don’t lose your chance with her by waiting too long to get her on a call, or meet up with her in person
You’ve got to make a move.
If you don’t make a move, some other guy will and by the time you’ve plucked up the courage to call her, she’s likely going to say, “I’m sorry, but I’ve met someone else. I’m happy with him and I don’t want you to ruin it, so please don’t ever call me again.”
The next mistake to avoid is…
4. Asking her how she feels, if she will ever change her mind and what he would need to do to get another chance
A guy might say, “Do you still love me? Is there still a chance for us? I just want to know how you feel about me and if there’s a chance that you will ever change your mind about us being broken up. I promise that if you tell me what you want me to do to fix our relationship, I will do it. I’ll do anything to get you back. Trust me. Just tell me what you want and I will do it.”
Yet, what he usually doesn’t realize is that asking a woman what he needs to do to make her happy makes her feel stressed and annoyed that he needs her to help him become a more attractive man.
She doesn’t want to take on that responsibility.
Instead, she wants him to figure out how to be the kind of man that she wants and then start being that man, without her help and guidance.
If he can do that, then she will be able to look up to him and respect him for being a self-made man.
However, if he continues to struggle and need her support, she will feel annoyed by him and want to push him away.
So, if you want to get your ex back, don’t rely on her telling you what you need to change or do to accomplish that.
Likewise, don’t ask her if she still loves you, or if there is a chance for you and her.
Instead, make her love you again and you and her will then naturally get back together quickly and easily.
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