It depends on the following:
1. Is he a complete man, without any flaws?
Right now, your ex’s new man might seem like he’s ideal for her (e.g. because you perceive him as being better looking than you, he has more money than you, she seems so much happier now), because you’re likely only focusing on his positives, or don’t know much about him, other than the superficial things you can see from afar.
However, in reality he might have a horrible track record with relationships and have been dumped every time, or he might be just using her for a while and then he will dump her.
Here’s the thing…
When a woman starts dating a new man after a break up, she will often look for a guy who is very different to her ex in the areas that she felt were most lacking in her relationship with him.
For example: If her ex was too controlling and jealous (i.e. because he wasn’t very confident in his attractiveness to her and feared losing her), her new man will likely be very confident and easy-going with her.
Another example is if her ex was too closed off and struggled to express his emotions to her, so she felt unloved and unappreciated.
In a case like that, her new man will probably be more emotional and open about his feelings.
However, just because the new guy is filling in the gaps that were missing in her relationship with her ex, it doesn’t mean he’s perfect, or that the thing she started dating him for doesn’t eventually begin to get on her nerves over time.
For example, an emotional man might be nice when a woman is coming from a relationship where her ex didn’t show any emotions at all, but over time, it will usually start to irritate her when her new guy is always gushing about his feelings.
So, even though your ex’s coworker might seem like he’s making her happy right now, it doesn’t mean it will last over the long-term.
The main thing is for you to not give up hope and do nothing.
You can still get your ex back if you want to. How?
By making some changes and improvements to the way you think, act and behave.
Then, the next time you interact with your ex (e.g. on a phone call or in person), you can start giving her the attraction experience she always wanted from you, but never got.
For example: When interacting with her, ask yourself…
- Am I making her laugh, smile and feel good to be talking to me, or does she seem closed off, uninterested and aloof because I’m being too serious?
- Am I sparking her sexual and romantic feelings for me by being confident and emotionally masculine, or does she see me more as a platonic friend because I’m being too nice or neutral with her?
- Can she pick up from my conversation and vibe that even though I want her back, I don’t need her back to feel happy or fulfilled in my life (e.g. because I’m actively pursuing my own goals, hobbies and interests), or does she sense that I need her to feel good about myself?
- Does she feel respect and sexual attraction for me based on how I interact with her and talk to her, or does she still feel that she’s getting a better attraction experience from her new guy?
If you are doing those things right, she will inevitably begin comparing you to her new man and she may then start to see that there are glaring gaps in his attractiveness to her too (e.g. he might not be jealous or controlling, but he also doesn’t show much interest in getting to know her family and friends, he might tell her that he cares for her, but he doesn’t like to make decisions or lead in the relationship either).
The more she notices his faults compared to how much you’ve changed and improved, the less she will be able to stop herself from wondering if she made the right decision by breaking up with you and dating him.
When this begins to happen, her guard comes down and she becomes open to interacting with you even more to see who she really wants to be with.
Another thing that might determine whether your ex’s new relationship with her coworker will last is…
2. Did he grow on her over time?
Sometimes a guy will see a woman that he likes and because he doesn’t really know how to attract her, he becomes her friend instead.
He might then be nice to her, do things for her and generally make himself available to being there when she needs him.
From time to time, he might ask her, “Why don’t we go out on a date?” or, “Will you go out with me?” only to have her reject him by saying something along the lines of, “That’s really sweet of you to ask, but you know I don’t feel that way about you. Besides, dating might ruin our friendship and I would hate to lose you.”
He will then usually give up for a little while, only to try again a few weeks or months later.
Then one day, he gets the shock of his life when she says, “Yes.”
Yet, in most cases like that, the reason for her agreeing to date him after all the times she said no, is not because she has suddenly realized what a catch he is and has fallen head over heels in love with him, but rather because he has grown on her over time.
Add to that the possibility that she’s also just broken up with a guy and she may think something like, “He’s a sweet guy and at least he’s better than my ex. I know I don’t feel much attraction for him, but maybe that will come with time once we’re in a relationship together.”
So, if your ex only started dating her coworker because he grew on her over time, chances are high that he’s not going to be able to maintain her attraction in the relationship.
He’s going to be the kind of guy who doesn’t understand what really makes a woman feel attracted, so his friendly approach will become boring to her sooner rather than later.
Of course that doesn’t mean you should sit around waiting for that to happen, because there’s no guarantee that if your ex’s relationship with her coworker doesn’t last, she’s going to come running back to you.
Instead, you need to take action by staying in her life (e.g. by calling her on the phone and catching up with her in person) and actively reawaken her feelings for you (e.g. by making her laugh, smile and feel good when she interacts with you, by being more emotionally masculine than her and making her feel like a sexy, desirable woman, by flirting with her to create sexual tension between you and her).
The more she can see that her new guy doesn’t generate the kind of feelings inside of her that you do (i.e. attraction, excitement, respect), the more doubtful she will become about staying with him.
When she starts thinking like that, the doors open for you to get her back for real.
Another thing that might determine whether your ex’s new relationship with her coworker will last is…
3. Are you ready and willing to interact with her and re-attract her, to interrupt the process of her moving on?
A mistake that a lot of guys make when they discover that their ex is dating a new man, is to take a back seat and wait for her to either break up with the new guy so they can make a move, or simply ignore her in the hope that this will upset her and make her come back on her own.
Yet, that’s the worst approach to getting an ex back, especially one who is dating a new man.
In almost all cases, rather than go back to her ex, a woman will usually focus on moving forward, if not with her coworker, then with someone else.
This is why, if you actually do want your ex back, you can’t sit on the sidelines and hope she will magically appear back in your life one day.
You need to take action to make it happen.
You need to interact with her and actively re-attract her and make her see you as better than her new man.
How can you do that?
When you talk to her on the phone or in person you need to…
Turn her negative feelings about what happened between you and her into something you can both laugh about together, rather than taking the blame for everything and putting yourself down to her in the hope that she will feel sorry for you.
Maintain your confidence around her regardless of what she is saying or doing to put you off.
Flirt with her to create some sexual tension between you and show her that you still find her desirable, rather than pretending that you’re over her or only want to be her friend.
Maintain your emotional masculinity during conversation, rather than sucking up to her when she tries to push you around and dominate you.
The more she can see that you’re being a confident, emotionally mature man who believes in himself and in his value to her, the more confused she will feel about her feelings for her coworker.
From there, you just need to continue showing her that you’ve transformed yourself into the kind of man that she always wanted you to be.
As you do that, she will naturally begin to fall for you all over again and she will likely drop her new guy so she can be with you.
Another thing that might determine whether your ex’s new relationship with her coworker will last is…
4. Do you know what really turned her off about you?
Right now, you might be wondering why it’s important for you to know your ex’s real reasons for breaking up with you.
The answer is actually pretty simple: If you don’t know her deep, secret reasons, you will never be able to offer her what she really wants when she’s in a relationship with you.
As a result, she will either stick with her coworker, or dump him and look for another guy who actually understands her.
So, why not be that guy instead?
When you know what really turned your ex off about you, you can quickly change and improve and give her the attraction experience she always wanted from you but never got.
As an added bonus, you will also be offering her the things about you that she really liked, making you pretty irresistible to her all of a sudden.
By the way…
If you’re unsure what may have caused your ex to feel turned off by you in the relationship, here are some questions to help you come up with some ideas that relate to your situation:
Were you confident and self-assured when she first met you, but as the relationship progressed, you began to feel insecure about your attractiveness to her, causing you to become needy, clingy and emotionally dependent on her?
If so, she would have felt turned of by what she perceived as your insecurity and emotional weakness.
Was she initially attracted to you because you’re a nice guy, only for her to eventually discover that you struggle to take the lead and be the man in the relationship with her (e.g. because you couldn’t stand up to her regardless of how out of line she was being, you couldn’t make decisions without her say so)?
If so, she would have felt turned off by your lack of dominance and emotional masculinity.
Were you initially loving, attentive and considerate of her feelings and desires, only to slowly fall into the habit of taking her for granted and being a bit of an inconsiderate jerk towards her?
If so, she would have naturally felt like pulling away, being closed off and treating you with less and less respect over time.
Did you and her start off at the same level in terms of maturity, only for her to grow up faster than you.
If so, she would have felt turned off by how the relationship dynamic made her feel more like a mother figure or big sister in your life, rather than your girl.
By getting a better understanding of what turned your ex off, you can then easily make the right adjustments that will re-attract her and make her feel worried that she is in the wrong relationship (i.e. dating her coworker rather than you).
She may then open herself up to the idea of being seduced back into a relationship with you.
Note: No matter how she responds, don’t push her for a relationship right away, because she will likely be feeling guilty for feeling attracted to you again even though she’s now with someone else.
Instead, just maintain your confidence, knowing that even though she isn’t saying it, she really wants you and then focus on building on her attraction for you.
She will naturally feel herself wanting to be your girl again and you can then make it happen by gently guiding her back into your arms and your life.
Where Guys Go Wrong When Their Ex Woman Starts Dating Another Man
If you want to ensure that your ex’s new relationship with her coworker doesn’t last, you need to focus on saying and doing the types of things that will pull her to you and away from him.
This is why you need to avoid making the following mistakes:
1. Watching on from the sidelines and becoming increasingly insecure because she seems happy.
Sometimes, when a guy notices that his ex is happily moving on with someone else, he might begin to lose confidence in himself and in his ability to ever get her back.
He may start to think, “Look at how happy she is now without me. All I ever did was make her get angry or cry. I’m the one who pushed her into her coworkers arms by not measuring up as a boyfriend/fiancé/husband. I wish I could turn back the clock and do everything differently, but it’s way too late for that. She’s moved on and it’s all my fault that it happened and now I have to face the reality of being without the love of my life forever, because she’s in the arms of another man.”
He may then becomes one of those guys who is always watching and pining for his ex from afar (e.g. he goes to her social media pages to see what she’s doing, he hangs out at places where he knows he might get a glimpse of her).
As a result, he stops displaying the qualities that attracted his ex to him in the first place, like his confidence and emotional strength and becomes insecure and self-doubting instead.
Then, not only isn’t he actively doing anything to reactivate his ex’s feelings for him, if he does happen to interact with her (e.g. he bumps into her at the mall/a restaurant/on campus) and she picks up via his body language and conversation that he’s now insecure and self-doubting, it just reaffirms to her she is with the right guy now.
So, if you don’t want that to happen to you, you need to make sure that you believe in yourself and in your attractiveness to her.
Then you need to stop sitting in the sidelines and start interacting with her (over the phone and even better, in person) and begin sparking her sexual and romantic feelings for you again.
The more you do that, the more confused she will feel about her feelings for her coworker and she will naturally become open to the idea of interacting with you to see how she truly feels.
Another mistake to avoid is…
2. Forgetting that she was once happy with you at the start of your relationship.
Right now, your ex might be trying to push you away (especially if you’re trying to talk her out of dating her coworker and give you another chance), by saying things like, “I’m happy now. Why can’t you accept that and leave me alone?”
Yet, here’s the thing…
There was a time where she felt happy with you too.
At the start of your relationship and probably for some time afterwards, the sight and sound of you made her smile and feel good.
However, no matter how idyllic everything was at the beginning, eventually things started to go wrong.
She began to notice things about you that made her lose respect, attraction and love for you over time and eventually she broke up with you.
In the same way, she’s at the start of a new relationship with her coworker and everything looks rosy and perfect.
However, eventually she will begin to see his flaws too.
What you need to do, is make her see those flaws sooner rather than later, by staying in her life and using every opportunity you get to spark some of her feelings for you.
When you become better in her eyes than her new man, she will automatically want to be your girl again and create new happy memories with you.
Another mistake to avoid is…
3. Using an ineffective strategy when attempting to get her back.
A lot of guys will try to get an ex back when she’s dating another guy and fail. Why?
They usually use an ineffective ex back strategy.
For example: A guy might decide that his ex will like him more than the other guy because he is nicer to her than he is.
Yet, what he doesn’t realize is that niceness isn’t what sparks a woman’s feelings of sexual desire.
Instead, she feels neutral towards him and feels more drawn to the other guy who makes her feel attracted.
Alternatively, a guy may believe that his ex will come back if he just ignores her.
However, in most cases, this usually results in her either falling deeply in love with her new man and possibly even moving in with him, or she moves on and finds another guy to fall in love with.
On the other hand, a guy might decide to stay in touch with his ex as a friend via text, but ends up turning her off because it seems desperate and doesn’t create a spark.
So, if you really want to make your ex dump her new man and come back to you, you need to do what works to get her back.
You need to interact with her and actively make her feel so much respect and attraction for you again, that she naturally wants to be with you.
She will then dump her coworker and come back to you, because she feels that if she doesn’t give you another chance, she will regret it for the rest of her life.
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