Here are 8 possible reasons why your ex might be doing great without you:
1. You left it too long to get her back
This usually happens when a guy decides to use the No Contact Rule (i.e. cut all contact for 30 days or more) to get his ex back.
Essentially, he was hoping that by ignoring her for a month (some guys even wait 60 or even 90 days to contact an ex girlfriend), it would cause her to panic about losing him and come running back.
Although no contact can work in rare cases (e.g. when the woman is still in love with her ex), it backfires in almost all cases.
Why?
In pretty much every break up situation, the woman doesn’t have enough feelings for her ex to care that he’s ignoring her.
Rather than feeling upset about him disappearing from her life, she simply uses the time apart to get over him and move on in peace.
In cases where she is still a little bit open to getting back with him, a woman will almost always avoid contacting an ex who has gone ‘radio silent’ and vanished from her life.
Why?
She fears that if she contacts him and shows interest, he might reject her by saying that he’s no longer interested, or break the news that he’s met a new woman and is happy.
Then, she would be the one who feels dumped and left behind.
So, rather than risking getting rejected, she focuses on improving her life without him (e.g. puts more attention on work or studies, has fun with her single friends, goes on dates with new men, starts a new hobby).
Then, by the time her ex completes the full No Contact period and gets in touch with her, she will almost certainly be over him and doing great without him.
Of course, even in a situation like that, it doesn’t mean you can’t get your ex back.
You can.
If you re-attract her over the phone and in person, she will naturally begin to open back up to you, even if she initially doesn’t seem very happy to hear from you again.
Likewise, if she has a new guy, but interacts with you and discovers that you’re now able to make her feel new sparks of attraction that interest her, she won’t be able to stop thinking about you.
You can then guide her through the remaining steps of the ex back process and get her back.
Another reason why it may seem as though your ex is doing great without you, is…
2. She is posting happy photos, but isn’t that happy 24/7
People will often temporarily smile for photos and try to look as happy as possible in that particular moment.
It’s a trend that started in the 1920s and ’30s and is now expected, or the ‘tradition’ when it comes to taking photos for most people.
Additionally, most people want to seem happy with their life when they post something to social media, rather than have family and friends comment things like, “Are you okay?” or, “You don’t seem to be enjoying yourself in this photo? Didn’t you like it?” (referring to whatever the person was doing in the photo).
People want to get comments like, “Wow! Looks like fun!” or, “I’m jealous. I wish I could have gone” in response to photos they post.
So, even though a woman might be smiling and laughing in some of her photos on social media, if she’s like most people, she will then go back to displaying her normal, everyday body language (e.g. not much emotion on her face, looking distant at times, possibly looking a little sad or stressed at times).
The same goes for your ex.
She may seem to be doing great without you, but could actually be feeling sad and miserable most of the time.
So, don’t give up on getting your ex back because you assume she’s doing great without you based on superficial evidence (i.e. she’s smiling in photos on social media).
3. She feels free to be herself again
Sometimes a guy will need a woman to always behave in a certain way (i.e. be nice, supportive, friendly, affectionate), in order for him to feel confident and secure in a relationship.
If she is feeling moody (e.g. leading up to, or during her period) as isn’t being as nice, supportive, friendly or affectionate as usual, it can cause him to become emotionally sensitive, irritated, angry, clingy or needy.
Even outside ‘that time of the month’ for her, if she’s a typical woman, she won’t be consistent in her mood.
Sometimes, she will be a bit distant, play a little hard to get, or instinctively test her boyfriend’s confidence by saying, “No” to some of the things he’s asking of her.
If he can’t handle that and becomes emotionally sensitive and moody in response, she will feel unsatisfied with the relationship.
She will also feel like she has to be someone she’s not, or tone down her personality, in order to keep the relationship going.
Here’s another example:
Imagine a woman who is very confident and enjoys socializing and being around other people, but her boyfriend is shy and introverted.
To match his personality, she may try to suppress that side to herself to become more reserved, quiet and just want to spend time at home as a couple.
A woman might put up with that for months, or even years, but over time, she may also begin to resent her boyfriend for ‘holding her back’ or ‘limiting her happiness’ by being so anti-social, or lacking the confidence to get out of the house and do things that involve other people.
Another example is where a guy lacks drive and ambition in life and tries to encourage his girlfriend to be the same way.
Since she loves him, she initially goes along with that and stops caring about trying to make progress in life, or become very successful.
As a result, she doesn’t aim to get a promotion at work, doesn’t finish her studies, or doesn’t follow through on her fitness goals (i.e. to be slim and in shape), to ensure that her boyfriend doesn’t feel left behind.
In examples like those, it’s only natural that a woman will seem happier, or seem to be doing great without her boyfriend after a breakup.
Of course, if her guy can change and be the sort of man who allows her to be her true self around him, she will naturally begin to wonder if there’s still a chance for them.
She won’t immediately get back with him because of that though.
In almost all cases, if a guy wants a woman back after a serious breakup where she seems to be doing great without him, he will need to attract her in new and exciting ways.
That way, she feels compelled to give him another chance, rather than missing out on the new, interesting and exciting feelings of attraction she now experiences when interacting with him.
4. The break up has been easier for her because she’s the dumper
A breakup is almost always easier when you are the dumper, rather than the dumped one because you aren’t the one being rejected.
Additionally, your ex may have prepared herself for weeks leading up to the breakup, by disconnecting from any feelings of love, respect and attraction she had for you.
Doing that allowed her to be ready to move on right after the breakup, rather than feeling confused and coming back to you.
5. Trying to be as happy as possible without you, is her way of coping with the break up
Sometimes, a woman will still secretly be in pain about a breakup, but will focus on trying to be as happy as possible to hopefully get past it.
She will be worried that if she becomes depressed, or misses you too much, it may cause her to contact you and get back with you.
So, she forces herself to move on and be as happy as possible during that time.
6. She’s hanging out with new people who bring out a different side to her
Your ex may have met new people who think, act and behave differently from what she’s used to (e.g. they’re more adventurous and carefree, more outgoing, more relaxed and easygoing, more confident).
As a result, she might be exploring a new side to herself that is currently making her feel happy.
However, just because she’s having fun and enjoying herself without you, it doesn’t mean she’s not missing you when she goes home at night, or wishing she could share this new side of herself with you.
She may or may not be over you at this point.
Either way, it doesn’t matter.
If you want her back, then just go through the steps to get her back and enjoy a new relationship with her.
It doesn’t matter if she’s happy or sad.
When you go through the ex back process, it results in her wanting you back and giving you another chance.
So, if you want her back, make it happen while you still can.
Another possible reason why it seems that your ex is doing a lot better than you since the breakup, is…
7. You haven’t been getting out and having fun with new people
If a guy essentially sticks to his old routines in life and doesn’t get out and have fun with new people, or date new, attractive women, then anything his ex girlfriend does that seems fun or interesting, can lead him to believe that she’s doing great without him.
Essentially, he compares his life to hers and believes that his life is boring and uneventful compared to hers.
If he interacts with her at that point, she will almost certainly pick up on the fact that he’s stuck and hasn’t been enjoying life since the breakup.
If she senses that, or picks up on any neediness or desperation that he has to get her back, it will turn her off further.
This is why you should stop focusing on how great your ex is doing without you and start pushing yourself to feel happy and alive without her.
Try new things, meet new friends, or do new things that excite you and make you feel confident, optimistic or alive.
When you’re genuinely happy without your ex, you will naturally seem more attractive to her because she will sense that you aren’t desperate for her.
You can enjoy life and be confident with or without her.
Of course, just making her sense that isn’t the be-all and end-all of getting an ex back.
You still need to go through the other steps to get an ex back, if you truly want to be back with her.
8. You haven’t re-attracted her and made her want you back yet
Your ex is likely focusing on moving on because you haven’t re-attracted her yet (i.e. you haven’t interacted with her and made her feel a renewed sense of respect, attraction and love for you).
When you re-attract your ex, she automatically begins to miss you, think of you in a positive light and consider getting back with you.
Yet, when you watch her life from the sidelines, miss her and don’t do anything to attract her, she will almost certainly have no reason to get back with you.
If she meets another guy who she finds attractive and interesting, she will likely just start dating him, rather than coming back to you (i.e. the ex who hasn’t re-attracted her).
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