6 common reasons why this can happen in a relationship between a man and a woman:
1. You have a similar energy
Having a similar energy with a woman can be a good thing, if one of you is clearly masculine and the other is clearly feminine (e.g. you’re a cool, masculine guy and she’s a cool, masculine girl).
However, if the man and woman are fairly neutral in their energy (e.g. the man is reserved, doesn’t express his masculine side and the woman is also reserved and keeps her natural feminine side hidden), the sexual spark will die out and they will feel more like friends.
When that happens, a woman might find herself feeling bored in the relationship and wondering why she no longer feels attracted to her man.
Then, when another guy comes along and sparks some of her feelings of sexual attraction again (e.g. a male coworker or a guy that she meets at a club or a party, who is able to bring out her feminine, girly side and make her feel turned on easily), it highlights to her what is missing from the relationship.
As a result, she might then decide to break up with her guy (even though he is the male version of her and even though they get along so well), so she can hook up with a new man who makes her feel attracted and turned on, rather than making her feel boring, neutral emotions all the time.
Of course, this doesn’t mean that her ex can’t get her back…
In many cases, because they were so close and got along so well, it’s easy to get the relationship back together.
He just needs to know how to create a sexual spark with her again and then know what to say and do to get her back into a relationship with him.
Another legitimate reason why you might feel as though your ex is the female version of you, is…
2. You have the same, or a very similar level of academic intelligence
Being on the same level academically is one of the main things that draws a couple together, because it allows them to easily connect in a way that suits their level of intelligence.
This is why you will often see two doctors or two lawyers in a relationship with each other, but won’t often see a doctor married to a plumber, or a lawyer married to a school teacher, unless of course the man is the lawyer and the woman is the school teacher.
So, one of the reasons why your ex might seem like the female version of you is because she is on the same, or a similar level of intelligence as you are.
However, just because you and her are on the same level academically, it doesn’t mean that you will then match up perfectly in other areas of your life (e.g. religious views, family values, future plans).
If there were a lot of those differences between you (e.g. you wanted to keep partying and she wanted to settle down, or vice versa), it could have contributed to the break up.
Of course, that doesn’t mean you and her can’t work things out.
In fact, having a common base (i.e. a similar academic intelligence) is a good start for getting a relationship back together, because she will know that it will be difficult for her to find another guy who is like you.
There might be other intelligent men out there and they might be cool in other ways, but they won’t be intelligent in the way you are and they won’t be cool like you.
She will know that and when you interact with her and make her feel sexually and romantically attracted to you again, she will naturally feel like the relationship probably deserves another chance.
If she doesn’t give you another chance right away and you accept that and walk away (important: you have to re-attract her first for ‘walking away’ to work), then she will regret it and will be missing you.
As a result, she will either contact you or will be open and friendly when you contact her.
Another possible reason why your ex might seem like the female version of you is…
3. You and her are about as cool as each other
For example: You or her might both be…
- Confident, self-assured and comfortable in social situations, regardless of what other people think of you.
- A leader in your group of friends, or at work.
- Socially intelligent.
- Easy going and relaxed.
- Comfortable and at ease with who you are as a person.
- A forward thinker who has goals and ambitions that you’re working towards.
- Able to stand up for yourself, for others and for what you believe in, while also being respectful to those you’re standing up to.
- Well-liked and admired by others.
Alternatively, you or her might both be…
- Insecure, self-doubting and always worried about what other people will think or say about you.
- A follower.
- Socially uncomfortable.
- A whiner and complainer.
- Afraid to stand up for yourself and what you believe in.
- Lonely because you don’t have many (or any) friends.
- Drifting through life without a plan.
- Anti-social.
There are so many different options, but you get the picture.
You and her might be alike in many ways, which makes you seem as cool as each other.
As a result, you and her would have both been attracted to how similar you were to each other.
You would have felt good that there was someone else like you out there.
Everyone needs that, in order to feel like they are sane, okay and cool, rather than always feeling down on themselves as a result of comparing themselves to everyone else.
Everyone is different.
No one is perfect.
Yet, amongst the millions and billions out there, you and her found each other and got along so well.
Will you find another girl like her?
Only time will tell.
If you want her back, then get on track to making it happen.
Another possible reason why your ex seems like the female version of you is that…
4. You are at the same or similar level of emotional maturity
Being on the same level in terms of emotional maturity makes a couple feel as though they are at the same level in life and understand each other better than other people do.
For example: They might both…
- Be serious about their career and investing in their future.
- Want to settle down, get married and start a family.
- Enjoy going to parties, having fun and living a carefree life, rather than being too serious about life.
- Enjoy traveling and exploring new places and cultures.
- Enjoy taking risks and trying new and exciting things.
So, if you and your ex were at the same level of maturity when you first hooked up, or if you adapted to each other in the relationship to be more similar to each other, then it’s only natural that you would think she’s the male version of you.
However, it’s also possible that somewhere along the way, your ex matured faster than you (e.g. she got tired of partying and living a carefree life and wanted to focus more on her career or on settling down and starting a family, while you stayed the same), which would be one of the reasons why she decided to break up with you.
Another possible reason why your ex may seem like the female version of you is…
5. You and her want the same, or very similar things from life
When a man and a woman want the same things in life (e.g. a fulfilling career, to settle down and have a family, to pack everything up and travel the world, to party for life) they will naturally feel attracted to each other and feel as though they are similar in many ways.
Yet, wanting the same things in life doesn’t guarantee that a relationship will last for life.
For example: Imagine that a couple enjoy traveling and are possibly even travel writers with a travel blog.
This similarity draws them together and makes them feel so much more connected to each other than they’ve felt with other people.
They then start traveling the world together and writing about it for their blogs.
Yet, as time goes by, the guy starts becoming very insecure, jealous and controlling of the woman.
This behavior starts to annoy her and she gradually starts to lose respect and attraction for him.
Despite their very specific similarities, the relationship falls apart because the guy is unable to maintain control of his emotions and be the kind of man that she can always look up to, respect, feel attracted to and love.
Another possible reason why your ex seems like the female version of you is that…
6. You might be ignoring some of the subtle, but fundamental differences between you and her
It’s great to have things in common, but it’s also the fundamental differences in you and her that make a relationship more interesting, appealing and enjoyable.
For example: If a woman is feminine and girly, she needs her man’s masculine direction to allow her to fully relax into being a real woman around him.
She doesn’t need is a guy who is gentle and soft and emotionally docile, or who ends up behaving more like her over time.
Initially (i.e. during the first couple of months or even years), it can be fun to be very similar, but after a while, the sexual spark will die out if the guy ends up being more like her and there is no clear, masculine/feminine difference in their individual behavior and energy in the relationship.
For a feminine, girly woman to remain attracted, her man needs to remain confident and manly in his behavior, thinking, actions and attitude.
If he can’t do that, it won’t matter how many similarities they have or how much fun they once had.
What will matter is that there is no longer much of a sexual spark, which then begin to tear the relationship apart day by day.
Another example is if a woman is very confident and self-assured.
A woman like that needs a man who is more emotionally dominant than her, so she doesn’t end up pushing him around and as a result, lose respect and attraction for him for not being man enough for her.
If you try to be the same as your ex, or if you want you and her to be the same in every way except gender, then one of you will gradually lose interest in sex because it will become too predictable and boring.
Remember: It’s the subtle differences between you and her that creates the sexual and romantic spark that keeps the respect, attraction and love between you alive for life.
2 Mistakes That Some Men Make When Trying to Get an Ex Woman Back Who is the Female Version of Themselves
Here are 2 mistakes you should avoid making if you want to get an ex back who is a very similar person to you:
1. Trying to convince her to give the relationship another chance because of how well you and her get along as friends
When a woman is saying, “I don’t think we can work things out between us. We should just accept that we’re wrong for each other and move on,” a guy might then try to convince her that their love is worth fighting for by reminding her of the connection they shared as a couple, or even as friends.
For example: He might say, “Yes, we’ve had some problems, but if you just take a minute to think about it, you will see that you and I have so many things in common that you won’t be able to find anywhere else. In some ways, you are like the female version of me. We like the same things and feel the same way about pretty much everything in life. We’re more than a couple, we’re also best friends and soul mates. You’re not going to be able to find that anywhere else. I get you and you get me. We’re meant for each other.”
Yet, even though what he is saying might be true, it’s not what will make her want to be in a sexual relationship with him.
Here’s the thing…
The less feminine and girly a woman feels around her man (i.e. because he ends up thinking, behaving and acting a lot like her, or she ends up copying him), the less sexual attraction she feels for him and the less she wants to be with him.
So, if you want to get your ex back, don’t try to convince her that she should give you another chance based on your friendship and unique connection, because that simply won’t be enough for her.
For her to truly want to be with you again, she needs to feel more than that.
She needs to feel like a sexy, desirable woman when she interacts with you.
She needs to feel a new, fascinating spark of sexual attraction for you, based on how you now talk to her, behave around her and get her to behave around you.
That’s what works.
If you only focus on how well you get along as friends and how similar you are to each other, then there won’t be a strong, compelling reason for her to want you back sexually and romantically.
Instead, she might say something along the lines of, “You’re right. We are great friends and I enjoyed what we used to have. Yet, I think we should just focus on just being friends from now on. What we had is over. I can’t see us ever being able to get back together.”
She will say that based on the fact that you’re not making her feel sexually attracted and turned on as you talk to her.
So, if you want her to want a sexual relationship, you need start flirting with her and making her experience feelings of respect, sexual attraction, arousal and romantic love for you again.
If you do that, she will then be able to say, “Well, maybe we can try again. I’m not sure, but we can try. Let’s just take it slow” and you then get to a kiss, sex and back into a relationship with her because she will have opened herself up to it to see how she feels.
The next thing you know, you and her will be back in a relationship and happier than ever before, because you will know have an improved ability to make her feel the kind of respect, attraction and love that will keep your relationship together.
Another mistake the guys make in your situation is…
2. Thinking that the secret to a happy relationship is to be the same
It’s great to be in sync with the woman you love (i.e. understand her, connect with her, grow with her), but it’s not great to be the same as her.
A man has to be a man and allow his woman to be a woman, rather than trying to make both of them be pretty much the same as each other.
For example: A woman can be very emotional and she might even cry or get upset when she’s under stress, or even for no reason at all and it’s perfectly okay for her to do that.
In most cases, her man won’t look at her getting emotional and think, “She’s so wimpy. That’s so unattractive to me. I want a woman who is emotionally strong and doesn’t lose control of her emotions for no good reason. I want a confident woman who controls her emotions like a man!”
Instead, he will understand that she is a woman and let her express her emotions like a girl.
However, the same isn’t true for a woman if she sees her guy crying.
It’s politically correct for women to say, “It’s okay for men to cry” when asked in public, but privately, almost all women are turned off when a man cries in response to life getting tough or him being emotional about something trivial that happened in his life.
She will lose respect and attraction for him as she thinks, “Why is he being so emotionally sensitive? Doesn’t he realize that crying when life gets tough isn’t what real men do? His wimpy behavior makes me feel like I have to be the more emotionally stronger one in this relationship and take care of him. I don’t want to be ‘the man’ in the relationship. I want to be the girl and see that he can be the man. I want a man that remains confident, emotionally strong and emotionally secure no matter what happens in life. When he cries like this, it just convinces me that we’re just not compatible. Even though we’re alike in many ways, it’s just not enough to make me want to stay with him. I have to get out of this relationship and find a man who doesn’t break down when life gets tough.”
As you can see, it’s fine to have similarities with a woman in a relationship, but it’s not a good idea to end up thinking, behaving or acting like her.
Likewise, it’s not a good idea to push her to think, behave and act like you if you are a very manly guy.
You’ve got to let her be a girl, while you get on with being the man.
Most women will never admit that in public, but it’s what they want.
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