My Ex is Turning Everyone Against Me (5 Reasons Why)

5 possible reasons why:

1. So she can feel good about the breakup, even though it was mostly her fault

There are some women out there, who hate the idea of looking bad in other people’s eyes.

So, if a woman like that goes through a breakup and is partly, or even mostly, responsible for it (e.g. because she cheated on the guy, she was constantly nagging and complaining and causing unnecessary drama, she was selfish and self-absorbed and took her guy for granted), she may quickly put on an act of being the victim.

She will then likely go around telling mutual friends and acquaintances and family members how badly her ex treated her to get them on her side.

For example: She might say things like, “I gave him my all and he just took advantage of me. He treated me so badly, to the point where I used to spend every night crying by myself. I don’t know how I coped but I’m just so grateful that I plucked up enough courage to leave him. He ruined me!”

In some cases, a woman might even lie about what happened in the relationship with her ex so that she can come out looking like the pure, innocent one, while he appears to be a scoundrel (e.g. she might lie about him abusing her verbally, being violent, cheating on her, or saying bad things about mutual friends).

She knows that what she’s saying isn’t true, but everyone else believes her and is on her side.

As a result, she gets all the support she needs to quickly move on, while her ex is treated badly by friends and acquaintances.

In this way, she wins and he loses and she gets revenge on him for the breakup.

Here’s the thing…

There are women out there who have a bad character and don’t care who they ruin along the way, as long as they come out looking like the victim.

When a woman like that gets people to turn against her ex guy, even if it’s because of her lies, she’s happy.

Yet, you can’t let that get to you.

At the same time, you can’t start defending yourself and saying things like, “She’s lying! It was never like that between us. In fact, she’s the one who cheated/caused drama/created all the problems in our relationship,” because you will come out looking like the jerk she’s been saying you are.

So what can you do?

Well, a better approach is to show her and everyone else that she’s turning against you, that you’re not bothered by what she’s saying about you.

Instead, you’re a confident and emotionally strong man and you’re not getting caught up in all the drama she’s creating.

So, if someone tells you that she’s been badmouthing you to them, just remain calm and relaxed and say something along the lines of, “Yeah, I heard that she’s saying things about me. It’s okay though, I know it’s not the truth and my real friends will know that too.”

In that way, not only are you being an emotionally mature man in that moment, you’re also drawing the line in the sand and asking your real friends to step up and support you in this difficult time.

You will then not only prove to everyone that you’re more emotionally mature and classy too (i.e. because you’re not saying bad things about your ex even though you can), you’re also finding out who your real friends are.

On the other hand, if your ex says something bad about you to your face, you can respond by laughing at her in a loving way and saying something along the lines of, “My, oh my, I never realized what a little drama queen you are. You sure love making a fuss, don’t you?”

Initially, she might be a bit shocked that you’re not taking her drama seriously anymore.

However, even if she doesn’t show it, she will be feeling surges of respect and sexual attraction for you for having the emotional courage to not get sucked into her fake drama anymore.

She will then realize that you’re a confident, emotionally strong, emotionally mature man and that nothing she says about you can change that, regardless of what other people believe (or don’t believe) about you.

She may then stop turning everyone against you because she can see that it’s pointless.

Alternatively, she might carry on trying to do it, but people will begin to see her as being the mean, vindictive one, especially seeing as you never say anything bad about her.

Finally, she might realize that she made a huge mistake and want you back.

Whichever way this plays out, you’re guaranteed to be the winner.

You can then decide what you want to do from there (i.e. forget all about her, move on and find and new high quality woman, or forgive her and take her back).

Another possible reason why your ex is turning everyone against you is…

2. To make you feel unworthy of getting her back

Sometimes, a woman might worry that her ex will try to get her back after they break up.

So, to avoid that from happening, she might go around saying bad things about him to mutual friends and acquaintances.

From her point of view, she’s hoping that her ex will hear about it and begin to doubt his value as a man.

For example: He might begin thinking things like, “Why is she turning everyone against me? What did I do that was so bad? Did I really hurt her that much? Maybe she’s right. Maybe I am a terrible boyfriend.”

Then, as he begins to doubt himself more and more, he may end up thinking things like, “She was too good for me and I was lucky to have her for a while, but now I see that I’m just not worthy of a woman like her. She’s out of my league and I should just forget about her and move on.”

This is what she wants.

She wants him to feel so unworthy of her that he won’t chase after her and try to get her back.

She can then easily move on without constantly worrying about her ex trying to get her back.

Of course, if the guy doesn’t fall for that and instead continues to believe in himself and in his value to her, it will prove to her that he’s actually the kind of guy she always wanted him to be (e.g. emotionally strong, self-assured, believes in himself regardless of what anyone else says about him).

As a result, she begins to feel that maybe she made a mistake by breaking up with him and turning everyone against him.

It then becomes easy for him to fully reactivate her feelings for him and get her back.

You can do that too.

Don’t let your ex make you feel unworthy of her.

You are good enough for her.

If you don’t believe in yourself, you will end up giving your ex what she was hoping for all along (i.e. to make you feel as though you don’t deserve her so that you won’t try and get her back).

She will pick up on your insecurity and feel turned off and then, she will feel convinced that she made the right decision to break up with you.

On the other hand, if you absolutely believe that you are good enough for her and then take action to re-attract her, she won’t be able to resist you.

Even if she tries to deny it, she will know that you’re a one-of-a-kind man and that if she doesn’t give you another chance, she will end up regretting it later on.

You can then easily guide her back into a relationship with you.

Alternatively, you can walk away and find yourself another, high quality woman, knowing that it’s on your terms, not hers.

Another possible reason why your ex is turning everyone against you is…

3. To get revenge for how you made her feel during the relationship

For a woman to be happy in her relationship with a man and want to stick with him and be a good, loving, devoted woman to him, she needs to feel like she can look up to him and respect him for being a real man (i.e. loyal, dependable, caring, trustworthy).

So, when a guy doesn’t put in enough effort in the relationship and instead does things that make her feel unloved, unappreciated and let down (e.g. he takes her for granted, is jealous and controlling, is unreliable, he belittles her, he doesn’t take her goals and dreams seriously, he lies to her, he cheats on her), it’s only natural that a woman will want to break up with him.

Then, once she is rid of him, all those feelings of anger, resentment and betrayal may come to the surface, causing her to think things like, “I can’t believe I wasted all that time with a jerk like him! He was such a terrible boyfriend.”

She might then begin telling everyone who knows him how badly he treated her to make herself feel better (i.e. because people will likely sympathize with her and say things like, “You’re right, he was an idiot to treat you that way. Don’t worry about him, you’re so much better off without him.”)

She then gets revenge on him for everything he put her through when they were together, by making him look bad in other people’s eyes.

By the way…

Some guys can’t believe that about their ex and might even say things like, “She was always so nice and sweet. How can she do this to me?”

Yet, the truth is, even a loving, gentle woman can become a mean, cold, or even nasty woman if she feels like she’s been treated badly, abused emotionally, lied to, cheated on or continually disappointed by a guy.

This has a lot to do with a woman’s natural instincts of wanting to find one man to fall in love with (and him with her), settle down with for life and possibly start a family together.

Most women don’t want to invest a lot of time, energy and love in a relationship, only to discover later on that it’s not the one and then have to break up and begin the process of finding the right guy for her all over again.

So, when a guy stuffs up really badly and makes a woman feel like she made the wrong decision by choosing him, she gets really angry.

She feels betrayed and like she’s been wasting her time.

As a result, she becomes mean and looks for ways to hurt him, which can then lead to her turning everyone against him.

This is why, if you want your ex to stop doing that and get her back, you need to show her, by way of your attitude, action, behavior and the way you respond to her that you’ve leveled up as a man.

When she can see for herself that you truly are a new and improved man now and that if she gives you another chance, you’re not going to go back to treating her the way you did before, she will be able to start trusting you again.

When that happens, her defenses naturally begin to dissolve away and she becomes more open to interacting with you, over the phone and in person, to see where things go from there.

Another possible reason why your ex is turning everyone against you is…

4. To make you hate her, so you don’t want her back

Sometimes a woman might have broken up with, or almost broken up with her ex several times before.

However, every time, he managed to convince her to change her mind (e.g. he begged and pleaded with her, made promises to change whatever she wanted, told her how much he loves her, spoiled her with gifts and flowers).

As a result, she caved under the pressure and agreed to give him one more chance.

So, to avoid that from happening again, she might decide to use an approach where she makes him hate her so much, that he no longer wants her back (i.e. she turns everyone against him).

Essentially, she might be hoping that he will think something along the lines of, “I can’t believe she’s being such a bitch! I never saw this nasty side to her before. Well, good riddance! I don’t need a woman like her in my life. I’m sure I can do better.”

She can then finally move on and find a new man who can give her the attraction experience she wants in a relationship with him, without worrying that her ex will once again try to get her back.

Here’s the thing though…

If a guy like that really wants to get his ex back, he can.

However, this time he will have to use a different approach to the one he’s been using up to this point.

In other words, no more begging, pleading, promising to change, bombarding her with gifts or flowers, sending her long text messages or emails explaining his feelings to her, or other things like that.

Instead, he needs to use the kind of approach that will prove to her once and for all that he’s truly leveled up as a man and is now able to give her the attraction experience she always wanted from him, but didn’t get.

For example: Here are some of the changes that a woman might want to see in her ex guy, before she will open up to giving him another chance with her…

He now maintains his confidence around her (and other people) regardless of what she says or does to make him feel insecure, anxious or unsure of himself.
He’s now more ballsy and isn’t afraid to stand up to her in a firm yet loving way when she’s behaving like a brat or creating unnecessary drama.
He makes sure that he treats her like a sexy, desirable woman when she’s with him, rather than treating her like a neutral friend or roommate and making her feel turned off as a result.
Rather than getting angry or annoyed at her when she’s being a pain in the butt, he now has the ability to just laugh at her.
Instead of always being nice and sweet and predictable and making her feel bored as a result, he’s now more or a challenge so she feels as though she needs to work hard to impress him.
He’s more emotionally dominant than her now, rather than being timid or hesitant around her.
He now has a plan for his life and is motivated, focused and active in making that plan a reality, rather than drifting through life doing irrelevant things like watching too much TV, playing video games, hanging out and doing nothing with friends.
Rather than feeling like he’s not good enough for her, he now truly believes in himself and in his value to her.

By making those kinds of adjustments, he can easily re-attract his ex and get her back, because she will be able to believe that this time it’s real.

He’s not lying to her or making promises he’s not going to keep.

Instead, he truly has transformed himself into a better man.

That is attractive to her.

Even if she initially tries to deny it to herself, she can’t stop herself from feeling surges of respect for him again.

When she respects him, she also feels sexually attracted to him.
As a result, her defenses will then come down and she will open back up to having romantic feelings for him again.

Unfortunately, most guys don’t approach the ex back process in that way and instead continue to use the same old approach that turned her off to begin with, so they end up losing the love of their life.

What are you going to do?

Are you going to let her make you hate her just because she’s scared that you’re going to use an old approach on her, or are you going to do what works to reactivate her sexual and romantic feelings for you and get her back?

Another possible reason why your ex is turning everyone against you is…

5. So she can have people telling her to move on, rather than get back with you

Some women just aren’t strong enough to walk away from a relationship with a guy.

So, they might use a ploy that can help them go through with it.

That ploy is to turn everyone against her ex, so that every time she feels tempted to get back with him and begins saying things like, “I miss him,” or “Maybe I made a mistake by breaking up with him,” the people she’s been badmouthing him to can talk her out of it.

They can then say things like, “No! Have you forgotten what he did to you? He broke your heart. He’s not the right guy for you. You need to forget about him and move on. Come on… there are so many good guys out there that would love a chance with a girl like you.”

This will then hopefully give her the support and motivation she needs to not get back with him.

However, here’s the thing…

If your ex needs to be talked out of getting back with you, there’s a strong possibility that she still has feelings for you.

That means, all you need to do is interact with her and make her reconnect with her sexual and romantic feelings for you again.

When you do, no matter what anyone else says to her, it won’t matter.

She will realize that she made a mistake by turning everyone against you and that you’re really the guy she wants to be with.

It then becomes easy for you to get her back.

So, focus on that.

Use every interaction you have with your ex to reactivate her feelings for you (e.g. by making her laugh and smile and feel good to be around you again, showing her that you’ve leveled up as a man, flirting with her to create sexual tension between you so she wants to release that tension with kissing and sex).

The more drawn to you she feels, the more open she will become to being your girl again.

You can then gently guide her back into a relationship with you and show her (by making her feel more love and attraction than ever before) that she made the right decision.