5 possible reasons why your ex lies to you when you ask her what she’s been up to are that:
1. She doesn’t want to open back up to you because she knows that you still haven’t changed
When a woman stays in contact with her ex (e.g. via text messages, talking to him on the phone, or seeing him in person from time to time), it’s easy for her to pick up on whether or not he has really changed and improved since the break up, or if he’s stayed the same.
It’s not something that he needs to tell her.
She picks up on it based on her observations of him during a conversation or interaction and decides for herself whether or not he truly has changed.
He might tell her that he has changed, but if she senses that he hasn’t, her guard will remain up.
So, he has to show her the changes, not tell her.
If he can’t do that, guard will remain up.
As a result, she won’t feel like telling him what she’s been up to lately, or if she has any plans because she doesn’t want him getting involved in her life.
For example: A woman might decide that she just wants to spend some time alone and not do much over a particular weekend.
If her ex then asks her, “What are you doing this weekend? Do you have any plans?” she might say, “Yes. I’m going out with some of my friends to this new club.”
She’s lying to him because if she tells him that she’s staying home alone, she fears that he may think, “Excellent! That must mean she’s still hurt about our break up and doesn’t feel like going out.”
He might then start asking her how she feels about him now and if she’s open to giving him another chance, to which she will say, “No” because she can see that he still hasn’t even changed yet.
Likewise, if she did tell him the truth about staying home for the weekend on her own, he might then say, “Well, if you’re not busy and I’m not doing anything either, why don’t we meet up and do something together?”
To avoid getting seduced back into a relationship with a guy who hasn’t really even changed, she will just lie and say she has plans.
So, if you want your ex to be more open towards you from now on, it’s very important that you use every interaction you have with her (on the phone and in person) as a way to show her the new and improved you.
For example: When you ask her what she’s been up to lately and she openly lies to you, or gives you a vague answer like, “Oh, not much,” rather than getting upset or annoyed with her, choose instead to display confidence by turning it into a joke you can laugh about together.
You might say something like, “Not much, hey? Wow, you’ve been doing a lot of not much lately. It must be a lot of fun doing that. I’ll call you Little Miss Not Much from now on” and have a laugh with her about that.
She will most likely feel a bit shocked by your confident reaction to her vague response of, “Not much” and try to hide the fact that it makes her feel some respect and attraction for you again.
However, she won’t be able to stop herself from continuing to feel waves of respect and attraction for you again for being so confident around her.
As a result, she will believe that you have changed without you even having to tell her.
She will experience the changes for herself (e.g. you’re more confident and ballsy now, while still being funny and being a good guy) and she will feel differently about you as a result.
The more she can see the real changes in you, the less she will want to lie to you about what she’s doing because she doesn’t want to mess up what you and her now have.
As a result, she becomes more open to the idea of you being a part of her life again and stops trying to shut you out.
By the way…
Don’t try to do this via TEXT.
If you ask your ex what she has been up to via text, rather than on a phone call or in person, she won’t feel any pressure to answer right away or give much detail.
Also, it will likely give her the impression that you’re too nervous and insecure to call her on the phone, which will reinforce her belief that you still haven’t changed.
Additionally, jokes via text can easily be misinterpreted as you being arrogant, cocky or rude.
Her replies can also seem very angry, when it fact she’s smiling, laughing and feeling attracted.
In other words, text is no good for a situation like yours.
Make sure that you get her on a phone call with you, or meet up with her somewhere, so you can attract her in person and avoid any misunderstandings via text.
Another possible reason why your ex lies to you when you ask her what she’s been up to is because…
2. She’s been seeing someone else and doesn’t have the heart to tell you about it yet
Sometimes, a woman moves on quickly after a break up and notices that her ex is having a difficult time getting over her and moving on himself.
So, rather than hurt his feelings even more by telling him she’s with another guy already, she will lie to him as a way of letting him down easy.
Alternatively, a woman might fear that her ex will lose it if she tells him that she’s seeing someone else (e.g. he becomes angry and makes a scene, he becomes overly emotional and maybe even starts crying and saying things like, “How can you do this to me?” and “My life is finished. I’ll never get over this! You have destroyed my trust in women. Congratulations. You’ve ruined me.”)
So, rather than causing drama, a woman might decide that it’s just easier (and safer) for her to lie about what she’s been up to lately.
She then hopes that he’ll gradually give up on asking her questions and move on, or get angry at her for lying to him and then declare that he’s never going to speak to her ever again.
Another possible reason why your ex lies to you when you ask her what she’s been up to is because…
3. She’s testing to see how you react
After a break up, a woman can still have some feelings for her ex and secretly want him back, but she won’t show him that.
Instead, she will test his confidence (the most attractive thing about a man to a woman) to see how emotionally strong he really is.
For example: If she lies to him about something obvious, knowing that he will find out (e.g. because he’s heard about what she’s been doing from friends or mutual acquaintances) and he then calls her up in a jealous fit, being emotional and saying things like, “How could you lie to me? How could you be so cold? Did you ever really love me, or was it all just fake?” she will see his true colors.
If one of the main reasons why she dumped him was due to the fact that he became too insecure and emotionally sensitive, she will see that nothing has changed.
He hasn’t moved beyond the level he was at when she broke up with him and as a result, she will keep trying to move on without him.
On the other hand, if he finds out that she lied to him and confidently makes a joke about it instead, she will be able to feel respect and attraction for him.
For example: If he says something along the lines of, “Hey Pinocchio, how are you doing today?” and then has a laugh with her for lying to him, not only will she feel attracted to him for handling the situation like a real man, she will also likely feel a bit ashamed for lying to him too.
As long as he is joking when referring to her as Pinocchio (or possibly as Little Miss Naughty, or Little Miss Liar Liar Pants on Fire) for lying to him, she will see it as funny.
However, if he is being emotionally sensitive about it and appears hurt and upset about it, then she’s going to be turned off by him.
Essentially, what a woman wants to see from a man is that he can be confident and joke around with her, while still being respectful and being a good guy.
The less you let her naughty behavior get to you (while still being a good guy), the more attracted to you she will become.
As a result, she will automatically stop feeling the need to lie to you so much and will open back up to having an honest relationship with you again (even if it’s just a flirtatious friendship to begin with).
When you’re flirting with her, making her feel attracted and building up sexual tension between you and her, it’s only natural that the relationship will get back together.
She will want it just as much as you do.
Then, getting her back becomes a matter of you taking the lead and just making it happen.
Another possible reason why your ex lies to you when you ask her what she’s been up to is because…
4. She doesn’t want to hurt you or make you jealous by telling you about all the fun she’s been having
In a case where a woman broke up with a guy because he was too jealous and controlling, she will usually avoid giving him too many details about what she’s doing, now that they are apart.
Essentially, she doesn’t want to have to tell him that she’s having fun, living a good life and possibly even meeting and hooking up with new men, because she doesn’t want to get into a long, emotional argument, or heated debate with him about it.
In some cases, a woman may even be afraid that her ex might start stalking her if she tells him where she’s going, or possibly even become violent with her and attack her in a jealous rage.
We’ve all seen those news stories, right?
Women fear that kind of thing happening to them.
You might not ever do that kind of thing, but a woman still fears it happening to her, so she will usually try to be careful about what she says or does after a break up.
Alternatively, if a woman’s ex is insecure, needy and has low self-esteem, she might avoid telling him the truth about what she’s doing, because she doesn’t want him to start making her feel guilty for moving on with her life without him.
For example: He says things like, “How could you move on so quickly? Did what we had together matter to you at all? How can you be over us so quickly? Did I mean nothing to you? Fine, I see your true colors now. You are a horrible person. I hope you get what’s coming to you. As they say, what goes around comes around. So, I hope some guy dumps you and hurts you badly. Goodbye!”
Here’s the thing…
Although a guy might sometimes feel as though his ex should tell him everything because they were in a relationship before, the truth is, she doesn’t have to anymore.
What they had together is over now.
She doesn’t have feelings for him and what she does with her life is essentially none of his business anymore.
It sucks to hear that (especially if your ex woman says it to you), but it’s the truth.
She’s an individual and can do whatever she wants, just like you are an individual and can do whatever you want.
If you want her back, you have to focus on making her feel sexually and romantically attracted to you again, so she has a selfish reason to give you another chance (i.e. she feels attracted to you again, the relationship doesn’t feel finished, she wants to experience what it would be like to be with you now that you’ve changed so much, she doesn’t want another woman taking her place now that she wants you back).
A final reason why your ex might lie to you when you ask her what she’s been up to is…
5. She doesn’t want you showing up where she is at right now, or where she is going to be
Sometimes, a guy will go to any lengths to get his woman back, even if that means showing up uninvited at her work, at a party, a bar or a club that she’s at.
He will hope that if he shows up, she will feel obligated to talk to him and he will then be able to convince her to get back together again (e.g. by telling her how much he loves her and that he misses her, by promising her that he will change).
Yet, as you will discover from the video above, trying to convince a woman to give you another chance just doesn’t work if you’re not making her feel a renewed sense of respect and sexual attraction for you.
So, rather than trying to find out what your ex is doing now that you and her are apart, I recommend that you simply focus on reawakening her feelings for you.
There’s nothing wrong with asking her how she is and what she’s been up to since you and her split up, as long as you are being easy-going about it and as long as you don’t get upset when she doesn’t want to tell you certain details.
If you seem tense and like you are putting pressure on her to give you lots of little details about where she’s going and who she’s going with, it will make you look jealous and insecure in her eyes and she will feel turned off.
The bottom line is this…
Don’t waste anymore time worrying about whether or not your ex lies to you when you ask her what she’s been up to lately, because that only keeps you stuck in a place where you feel hurt, betrayed and jealous, which is unattractive to her.
If you want her back, a better way to go about it is by becoming emotionally independent of her.
That means that although you really do want her back, you don’t actually need her back to live a happy, exciting and enjoyable life.
When she finds out that you’ve been living a fun life without her, she will naturally feel curious and possibly even a bit jealous.
Then, when you meet up with her in person and she experiences your newfound confidence and emotional strength for herself, her guard will come down even further.
She will find herself feeling waves of respect and attraction for you and not wanting the interaction to end.
She will also feel the urge to tell you what she’s been up to lately and invite you to do things with her from that moment on.
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