Here are 5 possible reasons why your ex said that:
1. She wants to create some distance between you and her so she can move on with another guy
If a woman has disconnected from her feelings of respect, attraction and love for a guy and wants to remain broken up, she will usually try to avoid interacting with him too much after the break up.
She will aim to create distance between herself and her ex, so there is less of a chance of him being able to re-attract her and seduce her back into a relationship.
A woman may do that if she wants to be alone for a while, open herself up to dating other guys to see how she feels, or even if she is already interested in a new guy or dating a new guy.
She essentially wants to give herself a chance to see if she can move on without her ex.
Yet, she doesn’t want to tell him that directly.
So, rather than saying something like, “Look, I’m not going to change my mind about breaking up with you. In fact, I’m probably just going to move on and find myself a new guy. Please stop bothering me and accept that it really is over between us,” and then have to deal with his response (e.g. he might beg and plead with her to change her mind, cry, get angry and call her disloyal or other names), she instead tries to cut him off by saying that it’s best they don’t see each other or talk to each other anymore.
That way, she can make a clean break and then move on with another guy if she wants to, without having to constantly deal with an overly-emotional ex.
Here’s the thing though…
You don’t just have to accept defeat and give up on her because she has recommended or thinks that it’s “best” if you and her don’t see each other or talk to each other anymore.
You can seduce her back into a relationship, so you and her can have a new chance at what you had…
You can literally change how your ex feels about you and the break up by changing your approach to interactions with her from now on.
So, rather than making the mistake of nagging, begging, pleading or harassing her to stay in touch with you, just focus on making her feel so good when she interacts with you (i.e. attracted, turned on by her new approach, curious about the new you, relaxed and happy when talking to you) that she wants to keep hearing from you.
She wants it.
When she wants it, she opens up to you and doesn’t want to lose you.
That is the easiest, most effective and loving way to get an ex woman back.
In her mind, she feels as though it’s all on her terms and she is deciding everything, but in reality, it’s half on her terms and half on yours.
You are making her feel attracted to you again and guiding her back into a relationship and she is deciding to open up to that and give it a chance because it feels so good to her.
So, make sure that you are clear on this: When you change the way you interact with her (i.e. make her feel surges of respect and sexual attraction for you again), her feelings about you and the relationship will automatically change, often within minutes or hours.
She will get to the point where she thinks something like, “I feel different all of a sudden. Now, the idea of moving on with someone else doesn’t feel right to me anymore. Maybe we can work things out between us after all. I don’t want to lose him. In fact, I want him hugging me right now. I want to kiss him.”
Then, getting back together will happen naturally and quickly.
However, if you accept defeat based on her saying that she thinks it’s “best” that you don’t see each other or talk to each other anymore, you could lose her for life.
Additionally, she may decide to move on with another guy without having any regrets, leaving you behind in ruins, missing her and regretting not giving yourself a chance to get her back.
Another possible reason why your ex said that she doesn’t want to see you or talk to you anymore is…
2. She is tired of you trying to get her back even though you haven’t really changed
If a woman feels like her ex keeps trying to convince her to get back together, but doesn’t want to change or doesn’t even know how or what to change (e.g. she wants him to stop being so emotionally sensitive and be more manly, but he has no clue how to be like that. He thinks that he needs to be nicer, more polite and considerate. Yet, she wants him to grow a pair of balls and make her feel like a woman in comparison to his loving, but dominant masculinity), then she won’t waste time interacting with him.
Instead, she will focus on getting over him and moving on by opening herself up to more masculine men.
This is why, if you want your ex to change her mind about not seeing or talking to you anymore, you need to show her via your actions, behavior and the way you talk and interact with her that you’ve already changed and improved on some of the things that really matter to her.
For example: Some of the things a woman might want to really see change in her guy are…
- He maintains his confidence regardless of what she says or does to make him feel insecure (e.g. she acts cold and aloof, throws a tantrum and blames him for the break up), rather than losing confidence and becoming insecure like he has, especially near the end of the relationship.
He uses humor to change her mood from angry to happy, rather than getting dragged into her fake drama and losing control of his emotions. Alternatively, simply not losing his cool when she creates fake drama to test him. - He believes in himself and in his value to her and the world, rather than feeling like he’s not good enough for her, or like other guys are better than him and she secretly wants to be with them.
- He makes her feel like a sexy, desirable woman, rather than treating her like a neutral friend or like one of his buddies.
- He is loving, caring and attentive, but he doesn’t let her push him around and get away with bad behavior (i.e. being very disrespectful towards him, being selfish). He puts her back in her place in a loving, caring, but dominant way.
- He has a plan for his life (and by association her life too if she is lucky enough to be with him) and he is motivated, focused and active in pursuing that plan, rather than being a grown man who still acts and behaves like a teenager (e.g. irresponsible, immature, stuck in a rut, wastes a bit too much time watching TV or playing video games).
- He is emotionally independent and has goals, interests and friends that are independent of his relationship with his woman, rather than making her his main purpose and source of happiness and entertainment in life.
These are just a few of the changes your ex might want to see in you before she starts believing you and stops wanting to cut all ties with you.
You don’t have to achieve everything all at once, but you do need to let her see that you have changed.
Don’t tell her that you’ve changed and try to sell yourself.
Let her sense it based on how you react, respond and act and also based on what she finds out as you talk and interact with her.
When she notices that you really have changed and so quickly, she will feel a strong, surge of respect and attraction for you again.
She will then naturally stop pushing you away and start feeling like she wants to open up and experience the new and improved you.
As a result, her defenses come down and she opens back up to talking to you and being with you to see what happens from there.
If you know how to get her back at that point, you will have a very high chance of getting her back.
Another possible reason why a woman will say she doesn’t want to see you or talk to you anymore is because…
3. She cares about you as a person, but just isn’t attracted to you anymore
It can often be difficult for a woman to handle interacting with her ex when she knows that he has strong sexual and romantic feelings for her, but she no longer feels the same way about him.
Yet, because she cares about him as a person and doesn’t want to continue seeing him unhappy and disappointed every time she tells him that she’s not interested in getting back together, she will often suggest that they cut off all contact to make it easier for him to heal and move on.
Another reason she may suggest that is because if he sticks around and she starts dating other guys, or even gets into another relationship, she doesn’t want to deal with his reactions to it all.
So, ask yourself: Could that be a possible reason why your ex said that it’s best that you don’t see each other or talk to each other anymore?
Is she really just trying to avoid your reactions to what you will see happen in her life (or find out about) over the next few weeks?
If so, you need to take control of the situation and turn it around to your advantage now, before you become even less of a priority for her.
Firstly, you need to let her know that you accept the break up and that you only want to be friends from now on.
Then, you need to use the friendship (and ability to contact each other as friends) to immediately re-spark her feelings of sexual and romantic attraction for you, so she begins to be the one who wants to be more than friends.
By the way…
The important thing to remember is that you can’t push her for a relationship commitment right now, because if you do, she will quickly close back up again and may end up saying something along the lines of, “I knew I shouldn’t have agreed to be friends with you. You were only saying that to have more time with me so you could convince me to get back together. Even though I really do care about you as a person, I just don’t feel the same way about you anymore, and I don’t want to keep seeing the hurt look on your face every time I say that. This is why, I’m going to stop seeing you and talking to you from now on. I know it seems harsh, but it’s for the best for both of us. Please don’t make this harder than it already is and just let me go.”
She’ll say it in her own way, but she will basically mean that.
She will feel disappointed that you’re pushing for a relationship when she doesn’t have the same kind of feelings for you and will likely use that as a reason to further distance herself from you.
So, just focus on using interactions with her to relight the spark of attraction inside of her (e.g. by maintaining your confidence around her even when she says that she never wants to get back with you or if she talks about dating other guys, by making her laugh and smile and feel good in your presence, by flirting with her to create some sexual tension between you, by using your masculinity to make her feel feminine and girly in comparison to you).
The more respect and sexual attraction you can make her feel during interactions, the more open she will become to getting back with you.
Yet, if your plan is to beg, plead or try to convince her to change her mind by explaining why she should give you another chance, then she’s probably going to just stick to her decision to cut you out of her life.
Another possible reason why a woman will say she doesn’t want to see you or talk to you anymore after a break up is…
4. She still feels attracted to you and loves you, but her gut instinct is telling her to remain broken up with you
There are instances where a woman will suggest cutting off all contact with her ex to protect herself because she still has strong feelings for him, but deep down she knows it just won’t work out in the long run.
For example: Some of her reasons might be…
- He’s a really nice guy, but he doesn’t make her feel strong sparks of attraction for him because of how he treats her. It feels more like a friendship than a relationship and she doesn’t want that. She wants a good guy who makes her feel the need to be very nice to him, rather than a nice guy who essentially tries to make her love him based on how nice, good, generous, loving and caring he is.
- He’s stuck in a dead-end job and isn’t doing anything to improve and upgrade himself, or he works way too much and doesn’t give her enough time and attention.
- He’s jealous and controlling and often gets very angry at her, to the point where she worries that over time, he might even become violent towards her.
- They have different ideas about what they want in life (e.g. he wants to go traveling and not have too many responsibilities in life, whereas she wants to settle down and start a family, or vice versa).
- She feels like she’s more emotionally mature than him and that he’s not likely to change any time soon, or on the other hand, he is too serious and she prefers having a more light-hearted, easy-going and sometimes immature approach to life because she believes that in the end, nothing really matters anyway, so why not just have fun and enjoy life.
- She feels like he’s too good for her because he’s very good looking, way cooler than her or comes from a much better family and upbringing.
- She’s noticed that he has a wandering eye (very attracted to other women and can’t seem to remain focused on her), so she’s afraid that he will eventually act on that desire and physically cheat on her.
As a result, she decides to distance herself from him to help herself get over him and be able to move on with a guy who she hopes won’t end up disappointing her in other ways.
Of course, there is no guarantee of that for her and she likely knows it.
She knows that it’s not easy to find true love and if you find it, sometimes it is worth fighting for.
If you want your ex to feel as though what you and her shared is worth another try, you need to focus on quickly improving on some of the things she’s worried about, so that she can see for herself that her concerns are unfounded.
For example: Some of the things you might do to convince her are…
- Flirt with her and make her feel like a desirable woman when she’s with you (so she feels that “spark” with you) rather than talking to her in a neutral way.
- Start getting clear on your big goals and ambitions in life and try to make progress on them, or if you’ve been neglecting her, try to start living a more balanced life where possible, so you would actually have some additional time and attention available for her.
- Spend less time or completely cut ties (for now) with some irresponsible friends and begin hanging out with more mature friends.
- Take a moment to understand what really attracts women to men after a break up and learn that, so you can prepare yourself to properly re-attract her and get her back.
Initially, she might feel a bit nervous about giving you another chance (because she may not believe you can change), but when she sees for herself that you’re now at a different level than before, she won’t be able to hold out for very long.
Suddenly her resolve to not see each other or talk to each other anymore will begin to fade and from there, you get quickly get her back.
Another possible reason why a woman will say she doesn’t want to see you or talk to you anymore after a break up is…
5. She’s trying to tell you to leave her alone and is simply being polite about it
Sometimes a woman will have distanced herself from her feelings for her ex, a long time before she breaks up with him (i.e. some women get ready for a break up months in advance).
So, by the time that the couple is officially broken up, the woman is emotionally ready to move on and make a clean start with someone else.
Yet, her ex, who has often be surprised by a sudden break up, will feel shocked and may begin doing all kinds of ineffective things to convince her to give him another chance.
For example: He might…
- Call her on the phone to discuss the relationship and try find a solution to help them get back together again.
- Send her flowers or gifts to apologize for his mistakes.
- Send her long text messages, emails or letters explaining his feelings for her.
- Invite her out for coffee as friends and then bombard her with reasons why they belong together, plead for another chance or worse, he may even start crying.
Although his intentions are good and he’s just trying to get the woman he loves back, him pressuring her for a relationship just doesn’t seem fair to her because she doesn’t feel the same desire and wanting for him.
She has prepared herself for the break up, has disconnected from her feelings and is now trying to get away from her ex so she can hopefully move on.
So, what she would love to do is tell him to leave her, and explain that she doesn’t love him anymore and let him know doesn’t want to be in a relationship with him ever again.
Yet, because she’s a nice person, she doesn’t want to be so blunt about it and cause him extra pain.
As a result, rather than being so blunt, she instead says that she thinks it’s best they don’t see each other or talk to each other anymore.
She hopes that he will just accept that, so there is then enough of a distance between them for her (or both of them) to move on.
Here’s the thing though…
Even if your ex is only being polite to you and currently isn’t interested in getting back together, it doesn’t mean you can’t change how she feels.
You can.
When you reactivate her sexual and romantic feelings for you again (e.g. by using humor to break down her defenses when you talk with her on the phone or in person, showing her that you’ve moved past the level you were at before, making her feel attracted in new and exciting ways) she won’t be able to stop herself from feeling drawn to you again in a way that feels really good to her.
In fact, for most women, it (falling back in love with an ex who has changed) is one of the most emotional, exciting experiences they have in life.
She won’t know that though if you just ignore her now and hope that she comes back.
You have to do what works to make her fall in love with you again now, or yo may potentially lose her for life.
5 Mistakes That Can Slow the Ex Back Process Down in Cases Like Yours
Your situation is unique, but there are so many common things that guys experience in a break up situation like yours.
Additionally, so many guys make the same types of mistakes when in a situation like yours.
So, if what you really want is to get your her, then make sure that you get clear on what to say and do to make it happen, rather than just trying to guess your way through it.
For example: Be sure to avoid the following common mistakes that can turn her off and slow down the process of getting her back:
1. Asking her why she feels that way
Even though you might believe that you have a right to ask for an explanation from her (after all, she was your girl), your ex might not see it that way.
She may then end up feeling resentful about needing to explain herself to you (about why she thinks it’s best that you and her don’t see each other or talk to each other anymore), which then makes her even more determined to not see you or talk to you anymore.
It then becomes more difficult for you to re-attract her and get her back because her guard is up and she is actively trying to avoid you.
So, forget about her reasons and just focus on changing her mind by reactivating her sexual and romantic feelings for you during the interactions that you have with her.
When she feels so much respect and attraction for you again, the idea of not seeing you or hearing from you won’t appeal to her anymore.
In fact, she will start to feel like not getting back with you would be her loss because she will miss out on experience the new, exciting emotions she now feels for you.
2. Asking her what you can do to change her mind
Asking a woman what you need to do to make her want to be with you usually only makes her feel stressed and annoyed with you for needing her to explain how to attract a woman.
The way she sees it, that is your responsibility, not hers.
So, rather than feel flattered that you want her female input on how to become a better man for her, she instead feels turned off by the fact that you can’t figure out how to be the kind of man that she wants and then start being that man, without her help and guidance.
Additionally, she worries that if she tells you what to do, you will do it and then it will feel fake or forced.
She wants you to figure out how to do it and then just do it, so you and her can get on with being in love in a romantic and sexual way.
So, if you want to get your ex back, don’t rely on her to tell you what you need to do to accomplish it.
Instead, make her feel strong surges of respect and attraction for you again when you interact with her and you and her will then naturally get back together immediately or very quickly.
Another mistake to avoid making is…
3. Trying to get her to change her mind by declaring your undying love for her
When a woman has lost touch with her feelings of love, respect and attraction for a guy and then breaks up with him, it then changes the way she thinks about him and looks at him.
In the past, she may have only had positive thoughts about him when she was in love, but now her mind is swarming with negative thoughts that cause her to want to be apart from him and move on.
So, rather than feeling flattered that her ex still loves her so much, a woman will instead feel annoyed by his constant pressure to commit to a relationship with him when she doesn’t even feel the same way.
Here’s the thing…
A woman doesn’t want to be in a relationship with a guy just because he loves her.
Instead, she wants to be with him because she loves him.
So, if you want your ex to stop saying that it’s best that you don’t see each other or talk to each other anymore and open back up to giving the relationship another chance, you have to stop focusing on how you feel about her.
How you feel isn’t the point.
What matters to her is how she feels.
So, start making her have strong feelings of respect, attraction and love for you again whenever you interact with her.
It might only take you one interaction to get her to change, or two or three.
Either way, you can do it if you use this approach.
Men all over the world get their woman back by doing this.
It’s natural, quick and always effective.
Just remember though: Getting your ex back should not be all about how much you love her and need her back for your reasons.
It has to be about her feeling respectful and attracted to you and wanting you back for her reasons (i.e. she doesn’t want to lose you).
Another mistake to avoid making is…
4. Getting angry at her or accusing her of being selfish
It can come to quite a shock to some guys to hear their woman say that she no longer wants to speak to them or see them anymore.
In some cases, a guy will feel right to become very angry with his ex for wanting to completely cut him out of her life.
Yet, expressing that anger is only going to convince her that she made the right decision to break up with him and remain broken up with him (i.e. because she may fear that he will turn into an angry, controlling ex boyfriend).
So, the best way to get an ex woman back is to maintain control of your emotions and use any interactions you have with her to reactivate her feelings for you.
Let her see that even under the kind of pressure that you’ve been under lately, you are still able to maintain your cool and be a confident, loving man.
That makes a woman feel a lot of respect for a man, which usually then leads to her feeling open to feel attracted to him.
When that happens, the door is open to attract her further and get her back; often right away.
Yet, what if a guy has already made the mistake of getting very angry with his ex?
In many cases, if he genuinely realizes his mistake, changes and then re-attracts her, a woman will usually be willing to forgive his mistake and give him another chance.
The reason why is that attraction has a very powerful effect on both men and women.
All over the world, both men and women are often willing to totally forgive mistakes to get back together with the person they are so attracted to.
A woman will literally say something like, “I don’t care what happened in the past. I know he has changed. I miss him so much now. I want him back. I am going to give him another chance.”
So, be sure to use the power of sexual and romantic attraction to make your ex feel compelled to give you another chance.
5. Accepting her words as meaning that it’s over and that you can never re-attract her or get her back
A common reaction that guys have when they get broken up with is to take whatever their ex woman says to heart.
For example: If a woman says, “I think it’s best that we don’t see each other or talk to each other anymore,” a guy might interpret that to mean, “It’s over between us and nothing you can say or do will make me change my mind. So give up right now and go away. We will never, ever speak to each other or see each other again. Goodbye.”
Yet, here’s the thing…
Feelings change all the time.
Just because your ex is feeling as though she doesn’t want you in her life right now, it doesn’t mean she will feel that way a week from now when you’ve reactivated some of her feelings for you.
Get it?
You can literally change how she feels and as a result, affect how she thinks, feels, behaves and acts in relationship to you.
You can literally make her want to be back with you, even if she has recently told other people that it’s over.
On the other hand, if you decide to take your ex’s word for it and give up on getting her back, you will probably end up missing out on another opportunity to be with the love of your life.
You’ll then never truly know if your ex was the right one for you and you may spend the rest of your life comparing every other woman you date to her and wondering what it would have been like if you hadn’t given up.
So, if you want your ex back, don’t give up just yet.
Re-attract her so she wants to get back with you.
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