Here are 5 common reasons why a woman will tell her ex man that she isn’t interested in dating anyone right now:
1. She is telling the truth, but not the whole truth
It’s true that she isn’t interested in dating anyone right now, but she may begin dating someone new very soon.
If that is the case with your ex, she’s just saying things like, “I’m not interested in dating anyone right now” to discourage you from trying to get her back now, so she has some space to begin moving on without you.
Essentially, she’s working on finding a replacement guy, but doesn’t have anything definite to tell you about yet, so she will just say that she’s not interested in dating.
In the meantime, she will keep you hanging around in the background and make you wait, while she tries to find a new guy and move on.
Then, if you’re still around when she gets a new boyfriend, she can then say something like, “I’m sorry, but I can’t talk to you anymore. I’m in a relationship now, so please stop calling me because my new man doesn’t like it. I’m sorry. I wish you all the best. Goodbye.”
So, if your ex hasn’t found a new man yet, don’t waste anymore time waiting for her to want you back on her own.
Use the time you have now to re-attract her, seduce her and get her back into a relationship with you.
How can you do that?
Start by interacting with her on a phone call or in person and make her feel strong, positive emotions such as respect, sexual attraction, excitement and happiness.
The better feels when interacting with you, the less motivated she will be to find another guy and move on.
Instead, she will begin thinking things like, “Did I make a mistake when I broke off the relationship? I mean, he seems so different now. I actually enjoy being around him and the idea of losing him for good makes me feel sad now. I don’t’ want to move on and then regret it, only to find that he has moved on and is happy without me. Maybe I need to give him another chance.”
She then opens back up to you and you can get her back, even though she was recently saying that she wasn’t interested in dating anyone.
Another common reason why your ex said that she isn’t interested in dating anyone else right now is…
2. She is dating a new guy, but doesn’t want you to know about it in case she changes her mind and wants you back
Sometimes a woman likes to keep her options open.
On one hand, she has a new boyfriend and is enjoying the feelings of being in a fresh relationship with him.
At the same time though, she also likes the certainty of knowing that if it doesn’t work out with her new man, she can always go back to her ex who is waiting in the wings for her.
Essentially, she’s just using the, “I’m not interested in dating anyone right now,” excuse to string you along, until she’s 100% sure of her new relationship.
When she is sure, she will then say something, “Sorry. I’m in a new relationship now and I’m happy, so I think it’s best if we don’t see each other anymore. Goodbye.”
So, if you just sit around and do nothing to re-attract her, seduce her and get her back, she will likely move on without.
Here’s the thing…
Regardless of whether your ex has a new guy already or not, your response to the break up needs to be the same.
You need to actively re-attract her and reawaken her feelings (over the phone and especially in person), so she starts to realize that you are the man she really wants.
For example: Some of the things that will reawaken her feelings are…
- Maintaining your confidence around her regardless of what she says or does to make you feel insecure, or as though you’re not good enough for her anymore.
- Using humor to make her smile and laugh and feel good every time she is interacting with you, rather than trying to discuss the relationship and convince her to give you another chance.
- Flirting with her to create sexual tension, rather than just talking to her in a friendly, neutral manner.
- Showing her that even though you still care for her, you’re not sitting around feeling sad and depressed without her. Instead, you’re confident, happy and are getting on with your life (e.g. pursuing your goals and dreams, doing the things you wanted to do but never got around to when you were with her, partying and having fun with friends).
- Showing her via your actions, conversation and behavior that you’ve leveled up as a man (e.g. you’re more confident and emotionally strong, more ballsy, more focused and determined to succeed in your life).
The better you are at making her feel a renewed sense of respect and attraction for you, the faster she will reconnect with her feelings of love and consider getting back with you.
Another common reason why your ex said that she isn’t interested in dating anyone else right now is…
3. She doesn’t want to break your heart (or make you become angry at her) because she either started dating a new guy right after the break up, or start dating him before you and her broke up
If a woman falls out of love with her man, she will naturally begin to think of leaving the relationship.
In some cases, she will line a new guy up before breaking up with her current man and in other cases, she will start dating the new guy before ending the relationship with her man.
Men do that to women as well, but it’s more common for a woman to do it because it’s a woman’s way of protecting herself from being hurt physically as she leaves a relationship.
Even though you might not ever do that to her, a woman has a natural instinct to make sure that she will be protected if a man gets angry with her.
So, rather than saying, “Look, I’ve met someone else and I want to break up with you. I’m going to be with him now” (if she has been cheating on him, or has a new guy lined up and ready to go) she will say something like, “Please understand that I’m not interested in dating anyone right now. Maybe sometime in the future I’ll be open to again, but for now, please respect my decision and give me some space. I just want to be on my own for a while to figure out what I want.”
By saying that, not only does she avoid hurting her ex’s feelings more than she has to, but she also remains safe from any outbursts that he may have in response to the break up (e.g. getting angry with her, crying and begging her to change her mind, becoming aggressive or violent towards her, threatening to kill himself or her, turning up at her work or home and demanding that she speak with and work things out, wanting her to have a long, emotional and stressful discussion with him about the relationship).
So, how can you get a woman back in a situation like that?
You need to make her feel so much respect and attraction for you as a man that the idea of being with any man other than you, makes her feel sick to the stomach.
Get her to the point where she wants you back for her own selfish reasons (e.g. she feels that what she has with her new guy is average compared to the way she now feels with you, she fears that she made a mistake and if she loses you she will never find true happiness again).
When you approach the ex back process in that way, getting her back becomes easy because getting back together is what she wants to do.
Another common reason why your ex said that she isn’t interested in dating anyone else right now is…
4. She is just trying to create space between you and her, so she can move on peacefully, without any drama from you
When a woman feels that her man is too emotionally weak to cope with the idea of being broken up with, she might make it easier for him by saying something like, “It’s not you, it’s me. I’m just not interested in dating anyone right now. You’re a good guy, don’t think I don’t know that. I’m lucky that you still want to be with me after the way I’ve been acting lately, but I need some space to think, okay? Can you do that for me?”
By approaching the break up in that way, she can leave him feeling hopeful and thinking, “Well, at least she didn’t say that she doesn’t love me anymore. Maybe she just needs some space to realize that I’m truly the one for her. Maybe if I show her that I’m willing to wait and give her the time she needs, she will miss me and come back to me.”
He may then give her a few weeks or months of space and hope that she comes back.
In the meantime, she uses the time to quickly move on without having to deal with the drama of an ex guy trying to convince her to give her another chance.
Here’s the thing…
Giving a woman too much space when she secretly doesn’t have strong feelings for you is one of the quickest ways to lose her to another man.
So, make sure that you stay in her life.
Not as a clingy, needy ex boyfriend (fiancé or husband) or as a friend, but as the guy who makes her feel attracted that she starts to regret her decision and starts to want to be your girl again.
Another common reason why your ex said that she isn’t interested in dating anyone else right now is…
5. If she’s going to be interested in anything with you, it has to be just casual sex for now, but not a relationship
Sometimes a woman might get into a relationship with a guy, only to realize that she’s not ready to take on such a serious responsibility of being a committed girlfriend who is always there for him.
That can happen if a woman is young, inexperienced with relationships or is at a stage in her life where she just wants to have fun without thinking too far ahead into the future.
So, when she breaks up with her guy, she will tell him that she isn’t interested in dating anyone else at the moment.
If he then accepts that and sticks around as a lover, she may be open to having casual sex with him, but if he puts too much pressure on her to get back into a committed relationship, she will usually say something along the lines of, “Sorry, but I’m not interested in dating anyone right now. Maybe you and I should talk to each other for a while.”
You can change her mind, but you’ve got to use the right approach.
4 Mistakes to Avoid
If you want to change your ex’s mind, then make sure that whatever you say and do from now on makes her feel attracted to you, rather than repelled by you and the idea of being in a relationship with you.
For example: Try to avoid making these mistakes…
1. Telling her that you will wait for her no matter how long it takes
When a woman says that she isn’t interested in dating anyone right now, a guy might make the mistake of saying, “Take all the time you need and when you feel ready, know that I will be right here waiting for you.”
Essentially, he’s hoping she will feel so flattered that he is willing to wait for her and she will then change her mind and give him another chance.
Yet, “I’ll wait around forever” isn’t actually what a woman wants to hear.
In fact, him saying something like that to her only turns her off even more, because she perceives the guy as being emotionally needy.
She then doubles her efforts to get over him and move on as quickly as she can.
So, if your goal is actually to get your ex back, don’t tell her you’ll be waiting for her like a good little boy.
Instead, show her that even though you want her back, you don’t need her back to feel good about yourself.
You’re more than capable of living a fun, enjoyable life without her.
Not on your own though!
You’re having fun with other people and enjoying life.
That’s what makes her see that you are capable of being happy and enjoying a full life without her.
When she notices that you’re not chasing after her in a desperate, needy way and are enjoying life without her, she will automatically feel respect for you.
When she starts to respect you, she will also start to feel attracted to you.
You can then build on her feelings and make her be the one who starts suggesting that you and her begin dating each other again.
Don’t worry if she doesn’t suggest it though.
If she does, then great – go ahead and let her date you again.
If she doesn’t, just build on her attraction and then get to a hug, kiss and sex.
After the sex, don’t push for a relationship.
Let her be the one wanting it.
The next mistake to avoid is…
2. Telling her to be careful of guys who just want to use her for sex
Saying something like to a woman will annoy her and turn her off.
For example: She might feel that her ex is trying to control her, even though they’ve broken up and she doesn’t have to be faithful to him anymore.
She may then say something like, “What business is it of yours if they do? You’re not my boyfriend anymore and I can have sex with any guy I choose if I want to. Maybe I want to be used for sex, have you ever considered that? Maybe I just want to have lots of random sex with many different guys. It’s my decision, not yours! I will do whatever I want now.”
As a result, she then hooks up with different guys just to spite her ex for trying to control her.
Alternatively, she might feel offended that he believes the only thing a guy would want her for is sex.
She may then say something like, “Is that all you think of me? That I’m just a sex toy for guys and that no other man would actually be able to love me and appreciate me for anything else? What were you, my mercy boyfriend? Was I lucky that you wanted a relationship? Were you just doing me a favor by being with me, because no other guy would want a relationship with me? You’re kidding yourself. You weren’t that good of a boyfriend anyway. Goodbye!”
She might then rush to get into a relationship with a new guy to prove to her ex that she can.
This is why telling your ex to be careful of guys who just want to use her for sex, is more likely to backfire on you than to convince her not to do it.
So, let her make her own decisions (and mistakes).
The way to get her back is to re-attract her and seduce her, not to try to stop her from doing things that you don’t want.
If she is attracted to you again and you get to a hug, kiss and sex and she falls in love with you again, then she’s not going to want to be with other guys.
The next mistake to avoid is…
3. Telling her that no guy will ever love her as much as you do
Although this might be true (because every relationship is unique and it’s possible that no other man could ever love her as deeply as you do), it still doesn’t mean she won’t be able to feel deep and meaningful love with another guy.
So, saying that to her isn’t going to change her mind about not being interested in dating anyone (especially you) right now.
This is especially true if you haven’t yet done anything to reawaken her sexual and romantic feelings for you.
Instead, saying something like that to a woman will usually just encourage her to try even harder to find herself a replacement guy, just so she can prove that you’re wrong.
So, don’t bother telling your ex that no one can love her like you do, because she just won’t care and may even resent you trying to manipulate her back into a relationship with you.
Another mistake to avoid is…
4. Asking what you can do to change her mind
As tempting as it may be for a guy to ask his ex woman, “Okay, I understand that you’re not interested in dating anyone right now. Yet, there has to be something that I can do to make you change your mind. Just tell me what you want me to do and I promise that will do it. I will do anything for you,” he shouldn’t say it.
Why?
Rather than making her think, “That’s so sweet. No other guy has ever been willing to do whatever I want just to make me happy. He must really love me! Based on that, I guess I would be a fool to let him go! I just have to give him another chance!” she feels turned off by what she perceives as his lack or masculinity and cluelessness about how to attract a woman.
She then just says something like, “Look, I really don’t want to date anyone right now and that includes you too. So, please stop harassing me about it and just give me some space. If I want to get back together with you, I will contact you, but for now I just need time to be on my own and think.”
This is why you shouldn’t ask your ex for instructions on how to get her back.
In almost all cases, a woman isn’t going to give her ex the answer to the puzzle of how to get her back.
Instead, she wants him to figure it out by himself.
Luckily, the answer is easy…
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