If your ex currently doesn’t want to get back together again and is only interested in being friends, here’s what you need to do to get her back.
1. Accept the friendship, so you and her won’t feel awkward about saying hi on the phone or in person sometimes
Being her friend keeps the channels of communication open, which then allows you to re-attract her and get her back.
So, just accept the so-called ‘friendship’ and use it as your way to get her back.
Let her know that being friends you and her should be able to call each other and say hi, without it being awkward.
If she agrees to that, you will then be able to call her anytime you feel like it and she can’t really get annoyed with you, or say something like, “Why are you calling me?” or, “What do you want?”
If she does, you can say, “Hey, I thought that we agreed to be friends and not get back together as a couple. Well, calling to say hi is what friends do sometimes. It’s no big deal. Why are you getting so upset? We’re just saying hi.”
She will be then more likely to accept it and stop trying to make it out to be a problem or a nuisance.
As a result, you can use the interactions to re-attract her and get her back.
By the way…
You should consider yourself fortunate that your ex said okay about being friends.
Most guys who get their ex woman back don’t even have that luxury because she says something like, “It’s over. I never want to see you again.”
Yet, you are being offered an opportunity to be her so-called ‘friend’ and you can use that to re-attract her and get her back.
So, make sure that you accept the friendship.
When faced with the choice of a friendship with an ex, many guys make the mistake of saying something like, “Sorry. That’s just not going to work for me. I want to be your boyfriend or nothing at all. I simply can’t be your friend if you don’t want to be with me. It would hurt me too much.”
This isn’t always the guy’s fault.
Sometimes people tell him not to accept the friendship, to show his ex that he is standing his ground.
Yet, it doesn’t work.
See Myth #3 in this video…
Rather than make a woman say, “Oh no! I never realized you felt so strongly about it. Okay, I give in. I don’t want to just be friends if it means I am going to lose you. Let’s get back together again as a couple,” she will be more likely to say something along the lines of, “Well, if you feel that way then let’s not be friends at all. It’s over between us now. Goodbye.”
If the guy then changes his mind and begs or pleads for a friendship, he turns her off even more.
So, if your ex has been offering you a friendship, I recommend that you accept.
Accept it and use it as your easy way to interact with her, re-attract her and get her back.
You can say something like, “Sure, let’s be friends. It will be nice to be able to talk on the phone, or meet up for a cup of coffee sometimes, without feeling awkward and uncomfortable around each other. It’s great to see that we’re both being mature adults about the whole thing.”
Then, while being her friend, focus on making her feel respect and sexual attraction for you again.
Remember: Staying friends with your ex is not about being a neutral friend and being on your best behavior around her.
If you behave like that, she won’t feel a sexual spark and as a result, she won’t feel motivated to give the relationship another chance.
So, if you want to get her back, make sure that you use every interaction as a way of building her feelings of respect, sexual attraction and love for you.
How?
2. Make her feel attracted to the new and improved you when you talk to her on the phone and in person
Your best chance of getting back together with your ex is by making her feel attracted to the new, improved man you have become since the break up.
Here’s an example…
Imagine that a guy is on a phone call with his ex woman.
He starts off by saying, “Hey ex girlfriend…I mean friend” and has a laugh.
He then adds in, “Only kidding…I thought I’d give you a call because I just ate some doughnuts and had 2 cups of coffee, so I’m feeling very talkative all of a sudden. Sugar rush! How are you?”
Alternatively, he calls her up and says something like, “Hey buddy” in a playful tone of voice, to let her know that he’s making fun of the fact that they are now friends.
He then adds in, “So, what’s my good old friend up to today? I’m just about to catch up with a couple of friends, but I thought I’d give you a call and say hi to see how you’re doing. How’s things?”
She then says something like, “Oh, not bad…I’m just chilling out at home. I was about to start cooking some food for dinner.”
He can then playfully add in, “Are you making enough for two? I’m hungry” and then add in, “Just kidding. I’ll going to eat now with my friends, but I do miss your cooking from time to time. What are you making?”
She then says, “Carbonara pasta” and he jokingly says, “Oh, really…I’m glad you didn’t invite me over for that! I hate your carbonara pasta…so bland…no taste at all” and then have a laugh.
He can then add in, “Only messing with you…you make a great carbonara…probably better than most Italian restaurants in town…I used to like eating that” and have a laugh with her.
He can then add in, “Okay, anyway…I’d better head off. Enjoy your pasta” and end the call.
By approaching the conversation in that way, she’s most likely going to smile and laugh and feel good about talking to him again.
As a result, she will begin to feel some respect and attraction for him and question whether a friendship is really all she wants.
Now, compare that to a guy who calls his ex woman and says, “Hi. I just wanted to see how you are. I know that you said you only want to be friends, but do you could change your mind about us one day?”
By talking to her in that way, he’s not doing anything to reactivate her feelings for him.
He’s essentially just asking for another chance because he wants it.
He’s not doing anything to make her smile, laugh, feel good and feel attracted when talking to him.
He’s asking her because he’s trying to get what he wants.
He is lost without her and needs her back.
Yet, that’s not makes a woman want to give her ex guy another chance.
A woman doesn’t want to be manipulated into giving her ex another chance because he can’t deal with the idea of standing on his own two feet without her.
She doesn’t want to feel as though he needs her to feel okay about himself again, or to avoid the embarrassment of having to continue being single and admitting to his family, friends or coworkers that he couldn’t get her back.
In her mind, that is his problem, not hers.
Additionally, when a woman gives her ex guy a chance to stay in her life by offering him a friendship, she doesn’t want him using that as a way to pester her about changing her mind and giving the relationship another chance.
So, make sure that you are causing your ex to feel respect, attraction and love for you when she interacts with you, rather than trying to get her to change her mind because you want her back so much.
Use the friendship to re-attract her, not to be a friend or to pressure her about giving you another chance.
When you focus on re-attracting your ex and making her feel good around you, she naturally begins to feel impressed by the new and improved you.
She sees for herself that you’re no longer the same guy she dumped, or said that she only wanted to be friends with.
You’re different now.
All of a sudden, she realizes that you are now the kind of man that she can look up to, respect, feel attracted to and love again.
Then, the idea of getting back together again doesn’t seem impossible to her anymore.
3. Don’t try to be her friend via text
When a woman says that she is okay about being friends with her ex, he might think to himself, “If I just text her, she won’t feel as pressured as she would if we were talking to each other in person. So, I’ll just send her texts every day to keep in touch. Eventually, if she sees that I’m being a good friend to her without pressuring her to get back together, she will give me another chance. So, I will just stick to text as my way of getting her back.”
Yet, using text to get an ex back rarely, if ever, works.
Why?
In most cases, a woman feels annoyed about receiving endless messages from her ex.
As a result, she slowly stops responding as often, until eventually she just doesn’t reply at all and simply ignores him.
Alternatively, she might continue texting back and forth to keep him around, while she secretly tries to find a replacement guy and move on before he does.
That way, she can eventually send him a text like, “I met someone else recently and we’ve been dating. We are now in a relationship and are very happy, so I can’t text you like this anymore. I know that I said we could be friends, but I want to give my new boyfriend a real chance. Sorry. I hope you understand. All the best. Goodbye.”
You don’t want to get a message like that from her, right?
If not, then make sure that you don’t waste time being her friendly, text buddy.
If you want her back as a girlfriend (fiancé or wife), you have to re-attract her on phone calls or in person.
When interacts with you and realizes that you’re no longer the same guy she broke up with (e.g. you’re more confident and emotionally strong now, you’re more ballsy and can stand up to her when she’s being domineering, you’re more mature and have a clearer understanding of how to make her feel attracted), she will instinctively feel drawn to you again.
As a result, she won’t want to just remain friends.
She will feel the urge to kiss you again, have sex and enjoy being in love with the new you.
From there, you just need to make sure that you…
4. Give her the missing pieces to the attraction experience that she always wanted with you
Do you know what was really missing from the relationship?
Are you aware of the subtle things that turned her off and made her stop feeling attracted to you?
For example:
- Were you too emotionally sensitive, so she ended up complaining to you about your behavior and telling you that she wanted you to be more of a man?
- Did you devote yourself way too much to her, which then stopped you from following through on your big goals or ambitions in life? Did she complain about you needing too much of her time, making her feel smothered or turning her off with your neediness?
- Did you take her for granted by treating her badly and expecting her to put up with it?
- Did you make her feel special, loved and appreciated, or did you end up making her feel stressed out, unhappy and unwanted?
- Were you able to maintain a happy, loving relationship full of laughter and good times, or did you give her that at the start, but then stop putting in the effort later on?
- Did you get annoyed or angry when she tested your confidence (e.g. when she threw tantrums, insulted you, didn’t follow your orders), rather than laughing at her tests and bringing the interaction back to love and happiness?
- Did you take love more than you gave love in the relationship (e.g. expected her to give you a lot of compliments and treat you well, but you didn’t give the same back in return to her)?
Those are the kinds of things that really matter to a woman when in a relationship.
Now that you and her have broken up, what is most important is that you change and improve yourself, so she can really feel the changes in you and see for herself that a relationship with you would be very different now.
So, have you changed and improved?
Are you ready to interact with her, properly re-attract her and get her back?
If not, ask yourself this question: When I interact with my ex on the phone or in person…
- Do I turn her on (by being confident, charismatic, funny, masculine), or do I turn her off (by being insecure, anxious, self-doubting, nervous, needy)?
- Do I make her smile, laugh and feel happy to be in my company, or does she seem tense, stressed out or bored?
- Do I make her feel feminine and girly in comparison to how masculine I talk, behave and feel around her, or do I make her feel neutral like a friend?
- Do I make her feel like she is more dominant than me and that I need her to be gentle with me, or does she feel submissive around me because I’m so emotionally strong and emotionally masculine?
- Do I focus on flirting with her to create sexual tension between us, or do I just talk to her like a neutral friend?
If you are doing it right, she will automatically begin to look at you as being more than just a friend.
As a result, she won’t be able to stop herself from feeling drawn to you in a sexual, romantic way because you are now giving her the missing pieces of the attraction experience that she always wanted from you.
You have leveled up as a man and are now what she always wanted.
When you do that, you will see the sparkle in her eye again.
She will look at you with love, lust and feeling like she did in the beginning.
The final thing you need to do is…
5. Get her to forgive the old version of you
Forgiveness allows her to wipe the slate clean and start a new relationship with you, without always expecting you to mess up like you used to in the past.
In essence, it’s like you’re a completely different man now and she’s getting to know you for the first time, rather than judging you by your past behavior.
So, getting her to forgive you is an important step in the ex back process.
Note: Getting your ex to forgive you is not about begging, pleading or groveling for forgiveness.
Instead, it’s about genuinely apologizing to her once, getting her to forgive you and then moving forward together as a new couple.
Important: If you have made her feel attracted to you again, she will be more than willing to forgive the old you.
However, if you try to skip re-attraction and go straight to forgiveness, she won’t want to do it.
Why?
She will see that it’s just about you trying to get what you want.
You’re trying to get her to forgive you to get another chance, even though she’s not even attracted to you anymore.
So, don’t do it that way.
Make sure that you properly re-attract her first and then ask for her forgiveness for who you used to be.
If she is feeling lust, love and respect for you, she will naturally say yes to forgiving you and as a result, her perception of you will completely change.
All of a sudden, she will stop focusing on the mistakes you made in the past and start feeling impressed by the new and improved man that you now are.
So, if your ex wants to be friends, make sure that you accept it!
Use the so-called ‘friendship’ as your easy, convenient way to interact with her and re-attract her.
Before she knows it, she will be in love with you again, kissing you and having sex with you.
She won’t just want to be friends.
So, don’t worry about being friends with your ex for now.
Little does she know that her saying she just wants to be friends is actually helping you to get her back!
Remember: Don’t act like just a friend.
Focus on making her have sexual, romantic feelings for you again.
If do that, you and her won’t be just friends.
She will be back with you in a relationship and you and her will be happier than ever before, because you will be attracting her in ways that she always wished you would.
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