4 things you should do if you want her back:
1. Understand that happy moments online don’t necessarily mean she is truly happy
Anyone can fake being happy online.
All your ex has to do is post photos of herself smiling and hanging out with other people, or status updates saying things like, “Life is so great! I had so much fun this weekend,” to give the impression that she’s happy and enjoying her life.
However, a few photos or even some great weekends spent with friends, doesn’t mean that her life is perfect.
It also doesn’t mean that she isn’t experiencing days where she feels sad and lonely and is wondering where her life is going.
It doesn’t mean she’s not missing you and thinking about you, or that she wouldn’t give you another chance if you suddenly started giving her the attraction experience she always wanted.
Don’t allow her Facebook posts to make you doubt yourself and avoid her because you assume she is happy.
Maybe she is truly happy now, or maybe she isn’t.
Here’s the thing though…
Whether or not she is happy really has nothing to do with whether you can get her back or not.
What matters is whether or not you are prepared and ready to re-attract her when you interact with her again.
If you interact with her and spark her feelings of respect, attraction and love for the new and improved you, she will begin to miss you, or even open up to wanting to see you right away.
So, don’t focus on how happy she seems.
It could be an act or it could be real, but that doesn’t matter.
What matters is whether or not you take action to interact with her and re-attract her.
The next thing to do to get her back is to…
2. Make her feel how you felt when you saw her posts and photos
Although your ex might seem happy on Facebook and like she’s gladly moving on with her life without you, chances are high that she still checks up on you from time to time to see what you’re up to.
Use that to your advantage.
Let her see that you’re not sitting around moping, feeling lonely and letting your life pass you by because you miss her and want her back.
For example: Post up photos on Facebook of you…
- Having fun with other people.
- Doing something wild and crazy that you always wanted to do (e.g. sky diving, playing in a band, on a scary rollercoaster). Make sure you do it with other people though. Doing it alone looks lonely and doesn’t have the same effect as doing it with other people.
- At a party with other, attractive women.
- Doing fun outdoor activities with other people.
Be sure to smile, appear confident and enjoy yourself in many of those photos.
When she sees that you also seem happy without her, she might then begin thinking things like, “Hmmm…my ex seems happy without me. Why wasn’t he like that when we were together? Seeing him like this makes me miss him. Maybe it would be fun to catch up and say hi…I want to see how happy he really is without me.”
She then texts you, or replies to your texts or answers your phone call when you call her up.
She is willing to meet up with you and see what happens.
Why?
One of the qualities that women find attractive in an ex man is his ability to want her, but still be able to have a happy, fulfilling and successful life without her.
Why?
It shows that you’re not dependent on her for your self-esteem, confidence and happiness as a man.
You’re a man who can stand on his own two feet and enjoy life, regardless of whether she is in it or not.
So, when she sees that you’re beginning to enjoy a great life without her, she starts to feel attracted to you again.
Suddenly, she starts to worry about losing you to another girl who will be attracted to the new and improved you.
She then might text you, send you a private message via Facebook in an attempt to spark something up between you and her, or just give you a call.
By the way…
If she doesn’t text, message or call – don’t worry.
Be a man and make the first move.
You can do it.
3. Contact her and re-attract her on a phone call
Regardless of whether she contacts you or not after you post photos of yourself having fun on Facebook, you need to be a man about it and take the lead in the ex back process by giving her a call.
On a phone call, you can better assess her state of mind (i.e. is she really happy, or has she just been putting on an act?), while at the same time sparking her feelings for you by making her laugh, smile and feel good to be hearing from you.
An example of how to re-attract your ex over the phone is to call her up and say (in a joking way) something like, “Hey ex girlfriend. I was driving past that club we used to like going to together and I thought of you.”
She will then likely respond asking “Why?”
You can then reply by saying something like, “Well, I was just remembering how you would always step on my toes every time we danced together. I ended up with bruises so many times because of your crazy dancing style. So, do you still have two left feet, or has your dancing improved?”
At this point, she will probably be laughing and feeling a little self-conscious and she may say something like, “Heeeey! That’s not true, I’m a great dancer!” or if it is true, “Yeah, I still have two left feet,” and laugh with you about that.
You can then say, “Anyway, so I thought I’d give you a call to say hi as a friend. How’ve you been?”
Of course, that kind of joke isn’t going to suit all couples.
So, a more general approach to being funny is to call her and say, “Hey – what’s happening ex girlfriend?”
She will most likely laugh at you referring to her as ex girlfriend.
You can then add in, “Just calling to say hi. I’ve been seeing all those photos of you on Facebook. Looks like you’ve been having a great time.”
She might then add in, “Yeah, it’s been fun, thanks.”
You can then jokingly (important) add in, “Of course, it would have been much more fun if I was there, right?” and have a laugh with her about it.
You can then add in, “No, just kidding…I’m glad to see you having fun. I’ve been having a good time too.”
If she has seen your photos, she will most likely say, “Yeah, I’ve noticed” and ask you some questions about that.
Be prepared to give her humorous answers, rather than being totally serious about everything she asks you.
For example: If she asks, “So, who’s birthday party was that the other night?” and you can jokingly say, “Oh, it was my girlfriend’s party” and let her respond.
You can then add in, “Just kidding. She’s not my girlfriend. We’re just friends…she was hitting on me when she was drunk, but I wasn’t having any of it” and then have a laugh with her about that.
You might want to also add in, “I ended up having a good night though and didn’t get much sleep that night” to leave her wondering if that means you hooked up with another girl instead and were up all night having sex with her.
If she asks if that means you hooked up with a girl and you didn’t, just say, “No…I mean we partied very late.”
If you did hook up with another girl and you know that making her jealous will help get her back, you can say, “Hey, don’t ask those things” and then change the topic.
Then, continue to chat with her and add in some more humor to make her feel really happy to be talking to you.
She will be impressed to see that you are confident enough to joke with her, even though you and her are broken up.
You’re not worried about potentially saying the ‘wrong’ thing and causing your ex to hang up.
You’re a cool guy who has the confidence to just say whatever he wants, while also being a good guy.
Women love that.
As a result, your ex’s guard will come down and she will start to feel surges of respect and attraction for you again.
When that happens, she becomes open to seeing you in person, to see where things go from there.
4. Get her to meet up with you and make her feel attracted to who you are now
Once you’ve sparked some of her feelings of respect and attraction for you over the phone, the next step is to get her to meet up with you in person and make her feel even more attracted.
So, after a little bit more laughter and easy-going conversation, just say something along the lines of, “Anyway, good chatting to you again. We should catch up some time this week to say hi in person. Just as friends of course.”
She will most likely be curious about your new confident approach and be interested in experiencing in person, so she will say yes and agree to meet up.
At the meet up, make sure to focus on saying and doing the types of things that will convince her that no matter how happy she has been without you, getting back with you will make her even happier.
For example:
- Make sure that you maintain your confidence around her, regardless of what she does to make you feel nervous or insecure (e.g. she says things like, “I’m happy now, so we’re not going to get back together,” or she talks about her new, exciting life since you and her broke up).
- Continue using humor to break down her walls.
- Flirt with her to make her feel like a sexy, desirable woman in your presence.
- Be more emotionally masculine that you have ever been (i.e. don’t be emotionally sensitive, don’t be insecure, don’t doubt yourself).
When she starts feeling more attracted to you than she ever has before, because you are now making her feel new and exciting emotions, she will realize that she will be even happier if you and her hook up again.
5 Mistakes That a Guy Might Make When He Assumes That His Ex is Happier Without Him
Just because your ex seems happier on Facebook, it doesn’t mean that she really is happier without you, or that she wouldn’t give you another chance.
Unfortunately, most guys don’t find this out and end up making one or more of the following mistakes…
1. Overanalyzing her posts
A guy will analyze his ex’s posts to hopefully try and work out whether or not she is truly over him.
For example: If a woman posts something like, “Dinner for one again tonight…lol” he might start wondering, “Does that mean that she feels lonely and is missing me? It must also mean she’s not seeing anyone else. That’s a good sign, right? It means she still has feelings for me and isn’t ready to move on. Maybe she’s trying to signal to me that she wants me back. I should probably wait a little longer for a more obvious clue.”
On the other hand, if she posts something along the lines of, “Life is soooo good! Just came home from the greatest party ever!” he may start thinking, “Hmm…she seems so happy. She’s clearly over me already. Maybe she even met someone at the party. Maybe she even kissed him or even had sex with him. It’s over for me. I’ll never get her back now. It’s over. I have no chance.”
Yet, here’s the thing…
Analyzing your ex’s social media posts is the fastest way to drive yourself crazy!
Don’t base your confidence about getting her back on her Facebook posts because she will almost certainly post things that can take away your confidence.
Base your confidence on the fact that you have become such a better man since the break up and can now attract her in ways that will make her want you back.
You can re-attract her.
So, if you want her back, go ahead and get her back regardless of what she posts on social media.
Focus on using every interaction you have with her from now on (e.g. via text, on social media, over the phone and in person), to actively make her feel respect and attraction for you again.
That’s what really matters.
So, stop wasting time overanalyzing her posts and just call her and make her happy to be talking to you instead.
Another mistake to avoid is…
2. Leading a lonely lifestyle without her
Sometimes, a guy will completely put his life on hold after a break up, because he hopes that his ex will see how lost and helpless he feels without her and then give him another chance.
Yet, rather than make her think, “Awww… he seems so sad and lonely without me. I should forget about why I broke up with him and give him another chance because he loves me and needs me so much,” she will feel even more turned off by him.
Why?
Women are attracted to men who are emotionally strong enough to be happy, confident and forward moving in life, with or without her support.
Women don’t want a guy who needs them to be around, so he can then feel happy, confident and worthy as a man.
Women want a man who can stand on his own two feet and enjoy life, be liked by others and make progress, without her input.
So, when a guy is living a lonely, sad life and can’t move forward and be confident or happy without his ex woman, it turns her off at a deep, instinctive level.
This is why you shouldn’t put your life on hold while trying to get her back.
If you want her to see you as worth coming back to, you need to show her that you are now very happy with, or without her.
You have a high self-esteem and belief in yourself (with or without her approval) and you’re moving forward in your life.
You’re not sitting around waiting for her to call.
You’re moving forward with your life and enjoying it.
Of course, that doesn’t mean you don’t want her back.
You do want her back, but you don’t need her back.
That’s how women want you to be.
Women don’t want a needy guy who can’t function emotionally without her.
So, when you focus on becoming genuinely happy and fulfilled in your own life, not only does that stop you from worrying about the fact that your ex seems happy on Facebook, but you also instantly become more attractive to her at the same time.
Suddenly, she starts to see you as being more of a catch than you were before.
She then becomes open to talking to you on the phone and meeting up with you in person.
Another mistake to avoid is…
3. Hoping that she will eventually miss him if he just waits long enough
Most people have heard the expression, “Absence makes the heart grow fonder.”
Important: It only works if the woman is still attracted to you.
If she is over you and doesn’t have feelings, then absence doesn’t do a thing. She just moves on.
Unfortunately, a lot of guys don’t realize that until it’s too late.
For example: A guy might convince himself that if he just waits long enough, his ex will eventually miss him and reach out to him.
If he notices that his ex seems happy on Facebook, he might think to himself, “Well, if I try to contact her now, she will probably tell me that she’s not interested in talking to me because she’s so happy with her life. On the other hand, if I wait long enough and she experiences some disappointments (e.g. friends letting her down) or heartbreaks (e.g. she gets hurt by another guy), she will realize that what we had was special. She will then start to miss me and from there, it’s only a matter of time before she contacts me. She will then see that I’ve been waiting for her the whole time and will be impressed by my loyalty. We can then get back together again.”
Yet, that almost never happens.
Why?
If a woman has disconnected from her feelings of love, respect and attraction for her ex and is already moving on and feeling happy without him, then she usually won’t even care that her ex hasn’t been contacting her.
Instead, she just focuses on finding a new guy, moving on and enjoying her life.
So, if you want your ex back, don’t put your life on hold to hopefully show her how dedicated you are to her.
A woman doesn’t want to be with a guy because she feels sorry for him.
She wants to be with him because he’s the kind of guy who can easily attract other women, but chooses to be with her because he loves her and looks at her as being the right woman for him.
That’s not going to happen if you sit around waiting for her to come back to you and be amazed that you’ve put your life on hold to show your commitment to her.
If you do that, she will simply feel turned off by your neediness of her and your inability to enjoy life without her.
Another mistake to avoid is…
4. Pretending to be happy for her by commenting on her posts
If you pretend to be happy for your ex, it’s highly likely that she will sense it (e.g. because you’ll be too nice and sweet, or too neutral and unemotional about it).
She will assume that you’re only pretending not to be jealous or angry to hopefully make her think that you are happy and doing fine without her.
She will then keep her guard up with you, which will then make it even more difficult for you to interact with her.
So, just understand that you don’t have to fake your support and encouragement of her happiness.
Of course, that doesn’t mean you should be whiny, emotional or rude either.
Instead, just be genuine about how you feel.
For example: If you see a post on Facebook by your ex doing something you and her planned to do together and looking happy, it’s okay for you to say how you feel in a calm, easy-going manner.
You can comment something along the lines of, “Wow, so you went on that vacation without me! Lol… ☺ Well, I must admit I’m a bit disappointed that we didn’t get to it together, but I’m glad you had fun regardless.”
Of course, not every guy can comment with something like that.
Sometimes a woman breaks up with a guy because he was too needy, clingy and ended up smothering her with attention in the relationship.
In a case like that, he should just click like on her post and not comment anything at all.
That way, she has to wonder what his like meant and may assume that it means he is happy for her, doing fine without her and doesn’t really care.
So, be sure to use the right approach for your situation.
Another mistake that many guys make in your situation is…
5. Forgetting that he once made her happy too
When you see photos and posts on Facebook of your ex seeming to be happy without you, it’s easy to forget that you and her were once happy together as well.
Don’t forget it.
Remind yourself that if you were able to make her happy once, you can definitely do it again.
In fact, this time around, you will make her even happier with you than she ever was because you are going to be a new and improved version of yourself.
You’re not going to be making the same old mistakes that lead to the break up.
You are going to level up as a man and give her the kind of attraction experience that she always wanted in a relationship with you.
It might be hard to believe that you can make that happen because she seems so happy on Facebook at the moment, but you can.
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