4 common reasons why a woman will do that and how to get her back:
1. She feels slutty and knows that if she talks to you, she will feel guilty
Some women have no problem moving on after a break up by hooking up sexually with different guys.
In fact, those women actually enjoy the feeling of hooking up with different guys and it makes them feel more confident and attractive.
However, there are also women who don’t feel comfortable sleeping with a guy, unless they are in a relationship with him.
Your ex might be one of these women.
So, if she actually did sleep with someone else when it’s not really in her nature to do so, she might be feeling really bad about it.
She may even be putting herself down and thinking things like, “I can’t believe I behaved like such a slut! What will people think of me? What will my ex say when he finds out? He will probably accuse me of being shallow and cheap and I wouldn’t blame him. After what we had together, I don’t know how I could do this. I won’t be able to look him in the eyes again.”
Additionally, she may feel worried that if she interacts with you, her feelings of guilt might push her into giving you another chance, even though she doesn’t necessarily feel like she wants to, just to clear her conscience.
So, to avoid that from happening, she could have simply decided to stop speaking to you.
Here’s the thing though…
If you want her back, you need to make sure that you go about it in the right way.
To begin with, it’s very important that you don’t play on her feelings of guilt and make her give you another chance based on that.
Sure, you might get her back, but it’s almost 100% guaranteed that the relationship won’t last, because guilt is not the basis of a strong, long-lasting relationship.
What is?
Feelings of mutual love, respect, and sexual attraction.
This is why, if you want to get her back, you need to make sure that your approach builds those types of feelings inside of her, rather than hoping her guilt will be enough.
Then, not only will she respect you for not rubbing her sleeping with someone else in her face and then using it to manipulate her, she will also begin to feel attracted to you as well.
You can then build on those feelings during interactions and get her back.
By the way…
If she’s currently refusing to speak to you over the phone, to get past that hurdle, do this:
- Try to call her at a time when you know that she’ll be available to take your call.
- If she doesn’t answer, send her a text like, “Hey (insert her name here), I was just trying to call you because there’s something quick that I want to ask you on the phone. I guess you’re busy at the moment, so I might try to call you again some other time.”
- She will probably reply with something like, “What’s going on?” or, “What do you want to ask me?”
- Whatever her response is, just call her back.
- If she still doesn’t answer, simply try to call her again in a few days time. She will almost certainly be curious about what you want to ask her so chances are high that she will answer.
Then, when you get her on the phone, you’ve got to make her feel a renewed sense of respect and attraction for you (e.g. by making her laugh and smile and feel good to actually be talking to you again).
Then, get her to agree to meet up with you in person for a quick chat.
When you meet up with her in person, you need to build on those initial feelings of attraction and respect and get her to drop her guard and open back up to talking to you and interacting with you.
It then becomes easy for you to get her back, because you’ve built up her real feelings for you (i.e. respect, attraction, love), rather than manipulating her through feelings of guilt to give you one more chance.
Another possible reason why your ex has stopped speaking to you after sleeping with someone else is…
2. At the moment, she feels more attracted to him than she does to you
Sometimes, a woman will sleep with someone else after a break up as a way of getting over her ex.
However, that can make her realize that the new guy makes her feel attracted in ways that her ex never did.
For example: If her ex was a bit shy and introverted and as a result, he preferred to stay home most of the time just hanging out, listening to music, reading or watching TV and playing video games, her new man might be more fun loving and enjoy going out and trying new and exciting things.
This is attractive to her because it’s different to what she was used to before.
Alternatively, if her ex had fallen into the habit of treating her more like a friend and in contrast, her new guy makes her feel sexy and desirable, she’s naturally going to feel more drawn to him.
As a result, she won’t feel like she should be keeping the door open for her ex to get her back.
Instead, she will choose to explore her feelings for her new guy first and see what that leads to.
If he manages to continue building on her feelings of respect, attraction and love for him over time, she will quickly forget about her ex and move on with him.
On the other hand, if she realizes that the spark she initially felt with her new man wasn’t long-lasting, she may begin talking to her ex again.
Yet, here’s the thing…
Even if your ex is currently feeling more attracted to the guy she slept with and that is why she isn’t speaking to you anymore, it doesn’t mean he’s perfect for her.
It also doesn’t mean you can’t get her back.
How can you do that?
A good way to get her to start speaking to you again, so you can begin reactivating her feelings for you, is by getting her to agree to just be friends from now on.
For example: You might get her on a call with you (use the method mentioned in the first point) and say something along the lines of, “Hey, I just want you to know that I accept that we’re broken up and I’m not going to pressure you into doing anything you don’t want. However, I believe we’re both mature enough to at least be able to be friends from now on. So, let’s just agree to say hi as friends once in a while, rather than ignoring each other and being immature about this break up.”
In all likelihood, she won’t want to come across as being immature and she will agree.
You can then use the friendship to re-spark her feelings for you and get her back.
Important: The aim of being friends with your ex is to allow her not to feel pressured into getting back into a relationship with you.
However, it’s not actually about being a nice, neutral friend to her.
Don’t make that mistake, because it will only push her more into the arms of her new man, or another man who knows how to spark her sexual and romantic feelings for him.
You have to use the so called ‘friendship’ as a way for you to interact with her and make her feel attracted to you in a sexual and romantic way, not a friendly way.
So, make sure that when you interact with her, you’re sparking her feelings for you, so she begins to see you as a better option to her new man.
Be a confident, emotionally masculine man who is doing what he needs to do to get back the woman he loves.
That is a good thing for you and her, so don’t feel bad about it.
Just reactivate her feelings and get her back.
She will be happy you did when she’s happily back in your arms and having the kind of relationship with you that she always wanted.
Another possible reason why your ex has stopped speaking to you after sleeping with someone else is…
3. She used that guy to help herself get over you
Quite often, a guy will hook up with another woman (or women) after a break up to speed up the process of getting over his ex.
In many ways, it’s what is expected of him (e.g. his buddies will pressure him to get out there and move on).
However, in the modern world, many women do it too.
So, rather than sit at home alone feeling sad and remembering all the good times she had with her ex, a woman’s friends will usually encourage her to get out and start meeting new guys right away.
As a result, a woman is more likely to hook up with another guy after a break up than to remain faithful to her ex in case they get back together again.
Of course, sleeping with someone else doesn’t necessarily mean she loves him or feels the same way she did for her ex when things were good.
However, having sex with him can help her get over her ex and move on.
When that happens, she will likely cut off contact with her ex to prevent herself from falling for him again.
The question you need to answer for yourself is this: Are you going to let her walk away without doing anything to get her back, or are you going to be man enough to go after her (even though she currently seems to not be interested in you anymore) and make her yours again?
If you intend to get her back, then don’t sit around feeling sorry for yourself and saying, “My ex slept with someone else and now won’t speak to me,” and do something.
What should you do?
Re-attract her on a call, or better yet in person, so that the idea of moving on and forgetting about you makes her feel anxious and like she’s making a big mistake.
She will then not only start speaking to you again, she will likely also apologize to you for sleeping with someone else and beg you to give her one more chance.
It’s then up to you to take her back if you want to.
Another possible reason why your ex has stopped speaking to you after sleeping with someone else is…
4. She wants to avoid talking to you because she still misses you
In most cases, a woman will do whatever she can to get over her ex and move on and in some cases, that may include sleeping with another guy.
However, just because that happens, it doesn’t mean her feelings for her ex suddenly switch off.
In fact, she might realize that hooking up with other guys doesn’t take away the fact that she misses her ex and what they had together.
As a result, she might then decide to stop talking to him to see if that will help her get over him.
So, while in his mind he’s likely thinking that the reason she stopped speaking to him was because she slept with someone else, the reality might be she did it because she could no longer bear the pain of interacting with him knowing that what they had is over.
This is why, if you want her back, you can’t give up just because your ex suddenly stopped talking to you.
If your do, she will lose even more respect and attraction for you for not believing in yourself and in your value to her and she will then force herself to get over you for real.
On the other hand, if you are man enough to get her back, despite the obstacles (i.e. she’s not speaking to you), she will automatically feel a renewed sense of respect and attraction for you.
When that happens, her defenses come down and she opens back up to texting you, messaging on social media, talking on the phone and even meeting up in person.
You can then easily reactivate her feelings for you and make her your girl once again.
5 Mistakes You Should Avoid Making Now if You Want Her Back
When you use the right approach, you can easily get your ex to speak to you again and even want to be your girl again.
So, if that’s what you’re hoping for, make sure you don’t make any of the following mistakes and end up decreasing your chances of getting her back.
1. Getting angry at her for being so selfish all of a sudden
It’s only natural that a guy might feel a bit annoyed that his ex has stopped speaking to him after sleeping with someone else.
In his mind he may even be thinking things like, “I should be the one ignoring her, not the other way around. I don’t get why she won’t speak to me now. After all, she’s the one who slept with another guy and if I’m willing to still interact with her, she should be grateful, not treat me like dirt! I can’t believe how selfish she’s being.”
Yet here’s the thing…
Getting angry with your ex and accusing her of being selfish for not wanting to speak to you anymore is the worst thing you can do if you want her back.
Why?
Firstly, it makes her feel defensive and annoyed and she then begins thinking things like, “How dare he call me selfish? He doesn’t own me and we’re not even a couple anymore, so I can do whatever I want. He doesn’t have a say in it anymore and I don’t owe him anything just because we were a couple once. It’s over now and I am free to make whatever decisions please me without needing to take his feelings into consideration.”
She then closes herself off even more and even if she was open to speaking to you again, she now becomes stubborn about it and refuses to give you the satisfaction.
This makes it so much more difficult for you to then reactivate her feelings for you and get her back.
Additionally, reacting in that way only highlights to her that you’re too emotionally immature for her.
She then feels even more motivated to move on, either with the guy she slept with, or with someone else.
So, if you don’t want to push your ex further away, make sure you don’t lose your temper with her and accuse her of being selfish for not speaking to you.
Remember: A woman doesn’t like to be emotionally blackmailed into a relationship.
A much better approach is to get her on a phone call with you and then to make her laugh and smile and feel so good to be talking to you again, that she can’t resist staying in touch with you.
You can then easily reactivate her sexual and romantic feelings for you and get her back.
Another mistake to avoid making if you want to get her back is…
2. Trying to get her back via pity
Sometimes a guy might sulk, whine and generally try to make his ex feel sorry for him for the pain he is experiencing because she is refusing to speak to him.
For example: He might text her a series of long messages saying things like, “How can you do this to me? First you break up with me, then you slept with someone else right after that and now you won’t speak to me. How can you discard me like I don’t even matter to you? Doesn’t anything we had together even matter to you? Don’t I even deserve to be treated with a little bit of kindness? Don’t you even care that I love you and that I have given up everything up for you? Nothing is more important to me than you. Of course, now I see that the same doesn’t apply for you. Not only don’t you give a damn about how I’m feeling, by your treatment of me makes me think that you never really cared for me. If you did, you would at least show some compassion towards me now that we’ve broken up. Instead, all I get is a cold shoulder. Why? What did I do to you to deserve this? Why are you being so cruel to me?”
Yet, rather than make a woman think, “Damn, he has a point. I really am being unfair to him. He doesn’t deserve to be treated this way after all the love and care he has given me,” she will instead feel annoyed that he is trying to make her feel bad about putting herself and her desires first.
As a result, she will lose even more respect for him and she may then go to extreme measures to cut him out of her life completely (e.g. block his number on her phone, avoid going to places where she knows she might run into him, unfriend him on social media if she hasn’t already done that).
So, if you really want to get your ex woman back, don’t bother trying to make her feel pity for you.
Instead, focus on getting her on a phone call or to a meet up with you, so that you can reawaken her feelings of respect and sexual attraction for you.
When you do that, she will naturally feel drawn to you again.
She will then want to interact with you more to see where things go from there.
Another mistake to avoid making if you want to get her back is…
3. Losing confidence in your ability to attract and keep a woman
When a guy’s ex sleeps with someone else and then won’t speak to him, it can easily ruin his confidence in his attractiveness to his ex and to women in general.
He might then start thinking things like, “I must really be a loser if she won’t even talk to me anymore. Not only did she quickly hook up with another guy, now she doesn’t even want to acknowledge me. It’s like I don’t exist to her. She’s moved on and she wants nothing to do with me. I’m nothing in her eyes. Maybe she’s right though. Maybe I’m not the kind of guy that makes women love him and stay loyal to him. Maybe I am worthless after all.”
Yet, here’s the thing…
Allowing your ex’s behavior destroy your confidence and make you feel unworthy of your value as a man will also decrease your chances of finding yourself a new woman and moving on, or getting her back.
The fact is, women are not attracted to men who are insecure and consider themselves below them in terms of value.
So, if you interact with another woman and she picks up on your feelings of self-doubt and unworthiness and she will feel turned off at a deep instinctive level.
The same applies to your ex.
She will feel turned off by your lack of belief in yourself and will then be glad that she decided to break up with you when she did.
So, if you want to find yourself another beautiful, high quality woman, or get your ex back, you have to absolutely believe that you are more than good enough.
If you don’t believe in yourself and in your value as a man, it will come through in your attitude, conversation style, actions and behavior and it will turn women off.
It will then become more difficult for you to get a new woman, or your ex back.
Another mistake to avoid making if you want to get her back is…
4. Going into your shell and being alone for months and then years
Sometimes a guy like that might think something along the lines of, “If my ex won’t speak to me, there’s nothing I can really do about it. I can’t exactly force her, so I have to accept that she doesn’t want anything to do with me anymore and try to move on, even though I don’t want to.”
He might then close himself off and stop going out with friends, doing interesting things or dating other women altogether and ends up living a sad and lonely life for months, that then stretch into years.
Yet, he never quite gets over his ex and at the back of his mind he’s always wondering things like, “I wonder how she’s doing?” or, “If only I hadn’t given up. Could I have gotten her back?”
So, don’t let this happen to you.
If you decide to accept that your ex no longer wants to speak to you and move on, make sure that it’s because you want to, not because you feel that you have to, based on her behavior towards you.
Remember: Just because your ex is avoiding you right now, it doesn’t mean she will continue to feel that way a week from now when you re-attract her and make her feel strong surges of respect and sexual attraction for you again.
So, don’t give up if what you really want is to get your ex back and then find yourself wasting years of your life pining over her and wishing you hadn’t given up on getting her back.
Get her back now.
You can do it.
Another mistake to avoid making if you want to get her back is…
5. Missing out on getting her back and being able to break up with her on your own terms
If you don’t do what needs to be done to get your ex back right now, you may end up regretting it for the rest of your life.
Here’s the thing…
Maybe your ex is not the right woman for you and maybe she is.
However, you’ll never know for sure unless you get her back.
Then, you can decide how you feel about her, not from a desperate, “I miss her so much and I can’t stand that she is refusing to speak to me,” point of view, but rather from a, “I have re-attracted her and we now have a new relationship based on mutual trust, love, respect and attraction and I’m glad that I didn’t give up,” perspective.
Alternatively, you might decide to get her back and then realize that she’s not good enough for you.
You can then dump her on your own terms and move on and find another, high quality woman who is worthy of you.
The point is, it has to be because it’s what you want, not because you’re settling for what has been thrown at you.
So, stop accepting your ex’s silence towards you and take action to get her back now.
You can then decide to keep her or dump her.
The choice is yours.
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