5 common reasons why an ex will do that:
1. She wants to find out if you’re moving on faster than her
After breaking up with a guy, a woman might start to worry that he will find a replacement woman and move on before she’s had a chance to hook up with a new guy first.
So, she will try to find out what he’s is up to by casually asking mutual friends about him and in some cases, she may even check his posts on Facebook and other social media for clues.
Essentially, she’s hoping that by following his moves, she will stay one step ahead of him and find a new man first, before he’s had a chance to move on.
She can then feel good about herself knowing that she was able to move on first.
However, if she discovers that her ex is the one who is moving on first, she will feel hurt and like he is leaving her behind.
This is a good thing.
It makes her feel drawn to him again, which causes her to drop her guard and open back up to interacting with him over the phone and in person.
He can then reactivate her sexual and romantic feelings for him (e.g. by using humor to break down the walls between them, showing her that he’s changed and improved some of the things that were turning her off before, giving her a new and exciting attraction experience) and get her back.
This is why it’s so important for you not to be sitting around feeling sad and dejected about your break up.
If you are stuck missing your ex and not doing anything to move on, not only will she feel relieved that she still has a chance of hooking up with another guy before you find another woman, she also feels reassured that she made the right decision to break up with you, because you’re not an emotionally strong man.
So, if you want to get your ex’s attention and re-attract her, you must show her that even though you and her have broken up, you’re not sitting around feeling sorry for yourself.
You’re living your life and having fun without her.
Of course that doesn’t mean you don’t want her back, it simply means you don’t need her back.
Then, the next time she asks about you and finds out that you’re already happy, confident and forward moving in life without her, she won’t be able stop thinking about you in a more positive way.
All of a sudden, she starts thinking things like, “Why is he moving on so quickly without me? Why isn’t he falling apart? He’s just so confident and emotionally mature now and that’s so attractive to me. Maybe I should call him to say hi and see what happens.”
When that happens, she opens back up to talking to you and seeing you in person and you can easily reactivate her feelings for you and get her back.
Another possible reason why your ex still asks about you is…
2. She misses you and likes to hear about you from others
Not all women who break up with a guy feel so much anger and hostility towards him that when they think about him it’s only to curse him or remember the bad things about him.
In most cases, a woman will still have some positive feelings for her ex and she will continue to miss him from time to time, even though she won’t openly admit it to him.
For example: She might think to herself, “I miss having a boyfriend and how it felt to have someone to come home to at night/call on the phone. I wonder what he’s up to now and if he misses me too.”
If she then talks to a mutual friend when she’s feeling that way about him, it’s only natural that she will then ask things like, “How is he doing?” or, “What has he been up to since we broke up?” or, “Is he dating anyone else yet?”
Secretly she may be hoping that she will discover that he misses her too and if he then finds out that she has been asking about him, he will contact her to say hello and see where things go from there.
So, there’s a good chance that your ex is missing you if she’s asking about you.
This is why you need to take control of the situation, rather than waiting and hoping that she does it for you.
Just pick up the phone and begin re-attracting her by making her laugh and smile and feel good to be talking to you again.
Then get her to meet up with you in person, so that you can fully reactivate her feelings for you (i.e. by showing her that you’re now a new and improved man) and guide her back into a relationship with you.
Remember: In most cases, a woman will wait and hope that her ex has the courage and skill to get her back, but if he doesn’t, she will just focus on getting over him and moving on.
Another possible reason why your ex still asks about you is…
3. She’s hoping that it gets back to you for either good or bad reasons
Depending on your ex’s feelings for you at the moment, she may be hoping that you will find out that she’s asking about you to get a desired response out of you.
For example: If your ex still has some feelings for you, she may be hoping that by asking about you, it will get back to you and you will get the hint, contact her, reactivate her feelings for you and get her back.
In a case like this, you just need to be courageous enough to make a move by calling her, reawakening some of her feelings for you, meeting up with her and getting her back.
On the other hand, if your ex is currently feeling a lot of anger and resentment towards you (e.g. because of the way things ended between you and her, you really stuffed up in the relationship and caused her a lot of pain), she may want to get revenge on you by messing with your head by making people tell you that she’s asking about you.
Essentially, she’s hoping that you will begin feeling hopeful that she might be interested in getting back together again.
Then, if you contact her, she can reject you by saying something along the lines of, “Before you say anything, let me tell you right now, I’m not interested. Nothing you can say will change how I feel about you and that is plain and utter disgust! You are a jerk and I regret ever going out with you. If you were the last man on earth I wouldn’t get back with you, so go away and leave me alone!”
She can then get the satisfaction of hurting you the way she feels you hurt her.
However, it doesn’t have to work out that way.
In fact, if you contact her and maintain your confidence regardless of what she says to you and then use ballsy humor to make her laugh, smile and feel good to be interacting with you, even if she tries to fight it, she won’t be able to stop herself from feeling some respect for you again.
When she respects you, she also starts to feel attracted to you and then all it takes is for you to show her that you really are a different man now and she won’t be able to stop herself from opening back up to you.
Another possible reason why your ex still asks about you is…
4. She’s not interested in getting back with you at this point and is simply making conversation with mutual friends
Sometimes a woman will be happy with her decision to end her relationship with a guy and she may be coping really well with the break up.
So, if she finds herself in the company of mutual friends, it won’t be that much of a big deal to her to talk about her ex with them.
She might then ask things like, “How is he doing?” or, “Is he okay?” just to make conversation with them.
If the friends then pass her interest on to her ex, he might start wondering if she’s still interested in him.
If he then contacts her to try and get her back, he may feel hurt when she says something like, “It’s really nice to hear from you again, but I’m really not interested in us getting back together again. I just don’t have feelings for you anymore. I hope you can accept that and move on. I really do want you to be happy.”
Here’s the thing though…
It may be true that your ex isn’t interested in getting back with you right now, but it doesn’t mean she will feel the same way after you re-spark some of her sexual and romantic feelings for you.
So, don’t waste anymore time waiting for her to want you back on her own and then give you a sign, before you make a move.
You need to take action and begin re-attracting her right away.
How can you do that?
Start by interacting with her on a phone call or in person and make her feel strong, positive emotions such as respect, sexual attraction, excitement and joy.
The more she enjoys interacting with you again, the more her interest in you will begin to grow.
She will then likely begin thinking things like, “I really wasn’t interested in getting back together with him, but he’s really making it difficult for me to stick to that decision. Instead, he’s making me want to talk to him over the phone and see him in person more and more. This is crazy, but I feel like I’m falling for him again. Maybe I need to give him another chance after all.”
She then opens back up to you and you can get her back, even though she was recently telling herself that she wasn’t interested in getting back with you.
Another possible reason why your ex still asks about you is…
5. She’s concerned about your well-being, or is simply curious to know what you’re up to
Sometimes a woman is just a nice, sweet person and it’s in her nature to want to make sure that her ex is doing okay and isn’t struggling to cope after their break up.
Alternatively, she might just be curious about what he’s doing now that they’re no longer together.
However, to avoid giving him false hope by calling him or texting him herself, she instead just checks up on him by asking mutual friends about his wellbeing.
Of course, if a guy is still in love with her and is secretly wishing they will get back together again, he may be hoping that it’s a sign that she still has feelings for him too.
If he then attempts to get her back (e.g. her sends her a text, e-mail or social media message pouring his heart out to her), he feels shocked when she rejects him and he may think things like, “I don’t understand why this happened. Why was she asking about me if she wasn’t interested in me?”
The answer is that he didn’t reactivate her feelings for him first.
He just assumed that she would want to give him another chance, but he didn’t do anything to make her want to do it.
Here’s the thing…
Regardless of your ex’s reasons for asking about you (e.g. she’s a nice person, she’s curious) and currently isn’t interested in getting back together again, it doesn’t mean you can’t change how she feels.
You can.
When you reactivate her feelings of respect and attraction for you (e.g. by staying confident regardless of what she says or does to put you off, using humor to make her laugh and smile and feel good to be talking to you again on the phone or in person, showing her that you’ve changed and improved and are now a better man than before, making her feel attracted in new and exciting ways) she won’t be able to stop herself from feeling drawn to you again.
When that happens, her defenses start to come down and she becomes open to interacting with you more to see what happens.
This is something that happens naturally and automatically, even if she didn’t feel that way before and even if she was convinced that she was over you and ready to forget about you and move on.
2 Mistakes to Avoid When Your Ex is Still Asking About You
You can take your ex asking about you as a good sign that she’s open to getting back together again, or you can waste a lot of time trying to understand what she means and lose your chance with her.
The best approach is to take it as a good sign and then to ensure that you don’t make the following 2 mistakes and turn her off:
1. Overanalyzing certain things she has said to others
For example: She might be talking to mutual friends and when the subject of you comes up she may say something along the lines of, “Of course I miss him. We had a good thing going for a while.”
Alternatively, she might say something like, “I knew he wouldn’t get a new girlfriend.”
If a guy begins to overanalyze why she said what she said and tries to assess her state of mind and her intentions, he will almost definitely drive himself crazy.
Not only that, he will not get any closer to finding out the truth, because he’s only guessing at what she was feeling based on how confident or insecure he feels about himself and his value to her.
So, make sure you don’t do that to yourself.
Instead, understand that when getting a woman back, a man needs to focus on what he is doing, not on what she is doing.
He is the one who needs to lead the process.
It’s not about following her.
If he tries to follow her, she will almost certainly lead him around in circles (e.g. by giving mixed signals, asking for more time, saying that she misses him, but couldn’t be in a relationship with him again) like a typical woman will do.
A woman doesn’t want to be the leader of the ex back process.
This is why, you need to have the confidence to make it happen without her help.
So, forget about trying to figure out why your ex is still asking about you and what she’s saying and focus instead on reactivating her sexual and romantic feelings for you over the phone or in person and get her back.
The second mistake is…
2. Being afraid to call her and say hi
Many guys say, “My ex prefers text,” or, “She’d get annoyed with me if I just called her.”
Yet, here’s the thing…
You have to take charge and make it happen anyway.
Yes, your ex may initially not like it if you call her.
However, she will like it if you’re making her smile and laugh on the phone, then making her feel attracted in person and from there, making her feel very aroused and excited during sex.
However, you have to lead the way.
If you don’t and instead wait for her to give you a sign that it’s okay to call her, you might eventually discover that she’s moved on and is now in a relationship with a new man.
Don’t let that happen to you.
If you want her back, you have to have the balls to take the actions required to get her back for real.
Don’t be afraid to call her and say hi.
Do whatever has to be done to get her back.
You’re not needy or weak for wanting to get her back.
Couples get back together all the time.
Do it.
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