6 possible reasons why a woman will say that to her ex:
1. To see if he will hand over his power to her
A woman will sometimes say that she doesn’t feel good enough for her ex to see how he will react.
Will he remain confident and emotionally strong and hold onto his position of power in the relationship, or will he crumble and hand all his power over to her in an attempt to get her back?
If he tries to reassure her by saying things like, “No, that’s not true! You’re the perfect woman for me. What can I do to convince you that you’re the woman I want? You are more than good enough for me and I’ll do whatever you want me to do to prove it to you,” it will actually turn her off.
Why?
In most cases, a man in this situation is usually a cool, confident guy and that’s one of the things that really attracted her to him in the first place.
She always liked how she had to be on her best behavior and try to impress him to maintain his interest.
Yet, now he’s essentially saying, “Okay, the chase is over. I’m yours. I will do whatever you want, just as long as you don’t dump me. I can’t handle being dumped. Please don’t do that!”
She then feels turned off by how weak he now seems and suddenly, the idea of trying hard to impress him and maintain his interest feels unnecessary.
In fact, she might even start to think that she is better than him and he was lucky to have her all along.
That’s not what she wants.
What she wants is a confident, good man who doesn’t get tricked by her mind games or power plays in a relationship.
If a guy gets caught up in her fake drama, she will lose respect for him for not being able to handle her simple test of his dominance and power in the relationship.
If he’s that easy to topple, then she doesn’t feel very good about submitting to him as the leader or boss of the relationship.
On the other hand, if the man is confident enough to laugh at her and refuse to play her petty, little games, she will naturally look up to him and respect him as the leader/boss of the relationship.
In the case of getting an ex back, when a man does that, his ex woman will begin to feel sparks of sexual attraction and love for him and will open herself back up to getting back together again.
So, the next time your ex says, “I’m not good enough for you,” don’t let it get to you.
Instead, try to see the funny side of how she’s behaving, rather than getting sucked into the fake drama that she is creating.
For example: You can laugh and say, “You’re such a little drama queen, aren’t you? Oh, I’m just not good enough for you… Oh, you deserve someone better…ahaaaaha…that’s so funny,” and then laugh at her, and with her about it.
Initially, she might be a bit shocked that you’re not falling for her little games anymore.
However, even if she doesn’t show it, she will be feeling attracted to you for being confident and emotionally strong enough not to get sucked into her fake drama.
She will then realize that you really are the man she’s been looking for all along and won’t be able to stop herself from reconnecting with her original feelings of respect, attraction and love for you once again.
Another possible reason why a guy’s ex said that she’s not good enough for him, is because…
2. She knows that he could do better than her and is worried that he will eventually act on that knowledge
Most people experience moments in a relationship where they question whether or not they’re good enough for the person they’re with.
This usually happens when one person feels as though the other is more valuable or attractive than them.
In your case, if your ex felt as though the value gap between you and her was too wide (e.g. because you and her are from very different social backgrounds, you have a better education than her, you are more financially successful than her, you are cooler than her, you have more friends), then it’s only natural that she might have felt a bit insecure.
What a lot of guys don’t understand is that in most cases, women are a lot more insecure than men are.
For example: According to a global study conducted by Dove Cosmetics, 96% of women don’t consider themselves to be beautiful and feel insecure about their physical appearance.
Additionally, according to the National Institute of Mental Health in the U.S.A., women are reported to experience depression at twice the rate of men.
So, even though your ex might have seemed like she was well put together and totally confident in herself, chances are high that she was more insecure, anxious and prone to feelings of depression than you ever realized.
If you failed to make her feel like an attractive, desirable woman in the relationship, it’s only natural that she would have begun to worry that you’d eventually dump her for a woman who is more on your level.
To get her back, you can’t just say, “Hey, that’s not true. You are good enough for me. You’re just being silly about this. I said that I love you…isn’t that proof enough that I am serious about you? Please don’t be like this” because it’s unlikely going to get rid of her insecure thoughts.
For her to believe that you truly value her and want to be with her, you’ll need to show her via your actions and the way you treat her and respond to her, both in private and in public (e.g. if you were unwilling to hold her hand in public, now is a great time to start doing that at times).
From now on, you’ve got to be aware of the fact that she’s probably always going to have a bit of an insecurity about how fully committed you are to her.
You can calm that down over time and get her to relax and trust in you and the relationship, but you need to be patient about it.
Whatever you do though, don’t try to show her how committed you are by being desperate about it.
Be calm, confident and easy-going about it, rather than rushing and panicking to show her how much you care.
Women aren’t attracted to that kind of desperation, even though the guy has good intentions while doing it.
You still have to remain being the cool guy that you are, but just pay a bit more attention to making her feel valued and wanted.
Another possible reason why a guy’s ex said that she’s not good enough for him, is…
3. She believes that he accepted her, rather than selected her
Some guys will accept pretty much any half decent woman that they can get because they just don’t know how to pick up women they find attractive.
So, if a woman gets the sense that her guy accepted her because he couldn’t get anything else, she will develop insecurities about his commitment to her.
Of course, just because your ex might secretly believes that you accepted her rather than selected her, it doesn’t mean that it’s the truth.
For example: A guy will sometimes sincerely get into a relationship with a woman for many reasons other than just her looks.
Although she might not be as pretty as some of his previous girlfriends, or the type of women who are interested in him, his reasons for selecting her may have been more than just about her physical appearance (e.g. she is a good person, she is supportive of his dreams and encourages him to be the best man he can be, she is loyal, she has a great sense of humor and makes him laugh and smile when he’s with her, she would make a good mother if he decided to start a family with her, she gets along well with his family, she is responsible, but fun at the same time).
If this is the case between you and your ex, it’s up to you to make her see herself through your eyes.
In other words, if you did willingly select her, rather than just accept her because you couldn’t pick up any other women, you need to make her feel as though you sincerely selected her and honestly want her.
Once again though, don’t try to convey that in a desperate, “Please believe me!” kind of way.
Be cool about it and just focus on making her feel happy, attracted and wanted when around you.
For example:
- Use humor to break through her insecurities and make her feel good to be around you.
- Flirt with her to create sexual tension and make her feel like a sexy, desirable woman in your presence.
- Make her feel like a feminine woman by being more emotionally dominant than her during conversation.
- Compliment her on some things, but also tease her and be challenging like you always have.
The more that you build on her feelings for you and the relationship during interactions, the more her doubts about staying with you will begin to fade.
Suddenly, she will begin seeing herself through your eyes (i.e. as though she is good enough for you).
When that happens, she will stop feeling insecure and start wanting to be your girl again, before another woman comes along and takes you.
Another possible reason why a guy’s ex said that she’s not good enough for him is because…
4. He didn’t make her feel loved
Sometimes, a guy assumes that the love between he and his woman will last for a lifetime because it was so good at the start.
He might even think, “She knows that I love her, so I don’t have to tell her that I love her anymore. That’s what couples who are insecure about each other do to convince themselves that the relationship is good. She knows that I love her because I’m still with her. After all, if I didn’t love her I would’ve broken up with her by now.”
Unfortunately, he is wrong.
Women are more insecure than men and do need to hear that they are loved, even if it’s just once a month.
She needs to know that her man is still committed to her, even if they live together, have children together or go on lots of fun holidays together and always have a great time.
Her insecurities will creep up on her, tap her on the shoulder and ask, “But, what if he doesn’t really love you and is just using you for now? Why doesn’t he say that he loves you anymore? Is he planning on leaving you?”
For a man, a woman’s thinking might sound a little crazy and he might feel annoyed that women need to be reminded that they are loved.
Yet, it’s not just women.
Insecure guys behave in exactly the same way about their women.
What causes that type of thinking is insecurity, so if your ex is insecure about her value to you, she’s going to think like that.
Here’s the thing…
What often happens in relationships is that a guy starts off being loving and attentive, only to gradually fall into the habit of taking his woman for granted once the initial thrill of being with her has worn off (i.e. when he gets bored of having sex with her and isn’t really trying anymore).
Although there are some women who will accept being in a relationship with a guy who stops giving her the love and appreciation she craves (e.g. because she fears that she won’t be able to find a replacement guy), most women won’t stick around for very long in a situation like that.
If a woman realizes that she loves her man more than he loves her, she will begin to feel unhappy and will start disconnecting from her feelings of love for him.
If he doesn’t pick up on her feelings of unhappiness and start making some changes, she will eventually break up with him and try to move on and find a new man who can make her feel loved and wanted.
Note: You don’t need to constantly be reminding your girl that you love her.
You just need to be more aware of it and remember to make her feel that way from time to time.
Going overboard with it and doing too much will actually backfire and cause her to feel as though she is probably too good for you, or it will cause her to start acting like a little brat and demanding you do more for her.
It’s about maintaining a healthy balance where she feels lucky to be with you, but she also feels wanted, loved and appreciated.
Another possible reason why a guy’s ex said that she’s not good enough for him is because…
5. He regularly pointed out her faults or flaws
Sometimes a guy will get into the habit of criticizing his woman every time she does something wrong, or regularly pointing out things that he doesn’t like about her physical appearance.
In most cases, it’s not because the guy is actually a bad person who wants to be hurtful to his woman, but rather because he thinks he’s doing her a favor by highlighting to her the areas where she can improve herself.
Even though his intentions might be in the right place, no one wants to be regularly criticized or belittled by the person they love.
When a woman gets a sense that her man is making her feel weaker and less valuable, she will begin to resent him.
Eventually, his criticism will wear her down and rather than remain stuck in a relationship where she feels like she’s not good enough for him, she will break up with him and try to move on.
Another possible reason why a guy’s ex said that she’s not good enough for him is because…
6. She has always noticed his wandering eye
A guy might be out at a nice restaurant with his woman and spend a lot of time looking at (and possibly even flirting with) the waitresses.
Alternatively, if they’re at a club or bar together, he might spend a lot of time watching the other women around him and on the dance floor, rather than focusing on his woman.
In most cases, a guy won’t follow through on his wandering eye (i.e. cheat on his woman), but noticing how he always seems to stare at other women doesn’t make his girl feel the way she wants to feel in the relationship with him.
Here’s the thing…
It’s perfectly normal for a guy to look at other attractive women and even feel attracted to them.
It’s also perfectly normal for a woman to do that if she looks at men that she finds attractive.
However, this is a difference between just looking at attractive women and staring at them, wishing you were with them instead.
Women can tell the difference based on how a guy looks at other women.
So, if a woman is in a relationship with a guy who is secretly wishing he was with other women, she will notice.
It might then cause her to feel jealous, insecure and even begin to behave in ways that she doesn’t want to (i.e. tell him not to look, get angry at him for wanting to cheat, accuse him of cheating, check his phone to see if he’s chatting with other girls).
She then reaches a point where she thinks something like, “I don’t like who I am when in a relationship with him. I don’t like behaving like a jealous girlfriend. That’s not me. Yet, I can’t stop myself from doing it because he’s always looking at other girls. I hate that feeling. I want to be with a guy who makes me feel like I’m the most beautiful woman in the world to him. I don’t want to be with a guy who is always on the look out for someone better. I’ve got to leave him.”
She will then break up with him and say something along the lines of, “I think it’s better if you and I go our separate ways. I’m clearly not good enough for you, so we should just accept that and move on. There’s no point in us being together. I would never last, so I don’t want to waste my time. Goodbye. I wish you all the best.”
3 Mistakes to Avoid Making When Trying to Get an Ex Back Who Doesn’t Think She is Good Enough For You
If you want your ex back, the most important thing to focus on is making her feel like she is good enough for you, without making yourself come across as desperate to get another chance with you.
From now on, whatever you say and do will either make her change how she feels and want you back, or strengthen her resolve to remain broken up.
With that in mind, make sure that you avoid making the following mistakes:
1. Buying her gifts to show how much you care
When a guy doesn’t know how else to show his ex that she’s good enough for him, he might try to convince her by showering her with gifts.
He’s hoping that she will think, “I must be good enough for him if he’s willing to spend so much money to spoil me. I was just being silly to feel that way. He clearly loves me. We should get back together again!”
Yet, what a guy like that doesn’t realize is that a woman doesn’t choose to be with a guy because of what he can buy for her.
A woman chooses to be with a man based on how he makes her feel when she’s with him (e.g. attracted, in love, safe, turned on, excited about the future, relaxed, happy, light-hearted).
So, rather than buying her gifts, just focus on making her have strong feelings for you, based on how she feels when she talks to you and interacts with you.
That’s what really counts.
The next mistake to avoid is…
2. Desperately pouring your heart out to her
If a woman says, “I’m not good enough for you. It’s better if we both just accept that and move on,” a guy might decide that the only way to convince her that she is wrong is by repeatedly telling her how much she means to him.
He might say things like, “No, no, no. Please don’t say that. Can’t you see how much I love you? You mean the world to me and I don’t want any other woman. All I want is you. What we had together was so special and I’m shocked that you would see it so differently. I honestly believe that we belong together. Do you really want us to break up over something that isn’t true? I promise you that you are good enough for me. You’re all I want in this world. Please think about it and let’s give our relationship another chance. I’ve never loved a woman as much as I love you. Please don’t leave me like this.”
In some cases that can work, as long as the guy isn’t being desperate about it.
However, if a guy is being desperate and essentially pleading with her, he loses the coolness that attracted her to him in the first place.
So, make sure that you don’t mess things up by pouring your heart out via email, text or in person.
The next mistake to avoid is…
3. Giving her too much power over you
When a woman is saying things like, “I don’t think I’m good enough for you,” some guys will make the mistake of promising the world to her if she just gives him another chance.
For example: A might say, “No, don’t say that! You ARE good enough for me. In fact, you are probably TOO GOOD for me. What can I do to prove it to you? I’ll do anything for you! I’ll be your slave for a week if you asked me to do it. That’s how much I care. Isn’t that enough proof to show you that I’m devoted to you and that I don’t want any other woman than you on my life? Please baby, don’t walk away from me. I need you.”
Yet, rather than make a woman think, “Wow, well, I guess I’ve been a real fool for thinking that I’m not good enough for him. Clearly he values me and I’d be silly to let him go,” she loses respect for him for being so desperate and not being able to hold onto his position of power in the relationship.
Here’s the thing…
If you hand your power over to a woman, she won’t be able to respect you anymore.
If she can’t respect you, she won’t be able to feel sexually attracted to you and without those two things, being in love with you becomes next to impossible.
She might care for you and think of you as a sweet, neutral old friend, but she won’t be able to see you as her sexy boyfriend/husband.
So, don’t let your ex control you by threatening to continue walking away because she doesn’t feel good enough.
Maintain your cool and focus on seducing her back into a relationship with you.
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