Here are 5 possible reasons why your ex wants nothing to do with you at the moment:
1. You were trying to get her back by offering her an attraction experience that she’s not interested in
Sometimes when a guy gets broken up with, he gets so caught up trying to get his ex back as quickly as possible, that he forgets to make the necessary adjustments to his thinking, behavior and attitude in ways that will actually excite her and attract her back.
As a result, he might end up offering her things that she doesn’t really want or care about and this only turns her off even more.
For example: He might decide to give her all the power now by letting her call all the shots (e.g. he only does whatever she says or wants, he’s nicer to her, he’s more considerate) if she’ll just give him a chance.
Yet, rather than make her think, “Wow, he’s really trying his best to make me happy. I love that he’s willing to do whatever I want. It makes me feel so attracted to him and like I want to be with him again,” he instead comes across as desperate and like he’s putting on an act to win her over.
This convinces her that he just doesn’t understand how to create the kind of relationship dynamic between them that makes her feel drawn to him again and want to be a good, loving and devoted woman to him.
She may then say something along the lines of, “Sorry, but I don’t want anything to do with you anymore. What we had is over and the sooner you accept that, the sooner we can both get on with our lives.”
This is why it’s very important that if you want your ex to open back up to being with you again, you offer her a new and improved attraction experience.
For example: Some of the ways you can do that are…
- Instead of being insecure and feeling like she’s too good for you, you start believing in yourself and in your value to her. You now know that she’s the one who is lucky to have a guy like you.
- Instead of being needy and clingy in the way that you think, talk and behave, you now start being a truly confident and self-assured man around her. Yes, you love her and want her, but you don’t need her to feel good about yourself.
- Instead of being submissive around her and putting up with her bad behavior like you used to (e.g. when she sulks or throws a tantrum, when she demands that you do things her way), you now stand up to her and put her back in her place in a loving, but assertive manner.
- Instead of being a nice guy who doesn’t say or do anything without her approval or say-so, you now start being more assertive towards her, while still being a good guy to her.
- Instead of always being on your best behavior and treating her like a neutral friend, you now flirt with her and create strong sparks of sexual attraction between you and her.
The more that you give your ex the kind of attraction experience she always wanted from you, but never got, the less sure she will feel about her decision to break up with you
Suddenly, she begins to wonder things like, “What if I don’t give him another chance and end up regretting it? What if he’s really changed and is now the man I always wanted him to be? What if I reject him and then never find another man who can make me feel the way that he does now?”
When she begins thinking like that, her defenses naturally begin to come down and she then becomes open to talking to you over the phone and seeing you in person to see what happens from there.
It then becomes easy for you to build on her feelings of respect and get her back.
Another possible reason why your ex wants nothing to do with you now is…
2. You begged and pleaded for too long
The shock of breaking up and being faced with the possibility of losing his woman forever might cause a guy to react in a way that he wouldn’t ordinarily do.
Suddenly, he panics and begins begging and pleading with her to change her mind and give him another chance.
For example: He might show up at her house unexpectedly, text, e-mail, phone or message her via social media and say things like, “Please baby, don’t do this to me! Don’t walk away from what we had together. I know I stuffed up, but I just can’t cope without you in my life! I beg you! Please just give me one more chance. I give you my word that I’ll do anything you want me to do to make you happy. Just give me one more chance! I promise you won’t regret it. Please!”
Although, this is not the ideal reaction for a guy to have (i.e. because it makes him seem desperate and needy and makes his ex woman lose even more respect for him as a man), it’s not the end of the world.
As long as he quickly realizes that his begging and pleading is unattractive to her and stops doing it right away, he can recover from his mistake.
He can then focus on saying and doing the types of things that will reactivate her feelings for him (e.g. being confident regardless of what she says and does to push him away, using humor to make her laugh and smile and take away the awkwardness of interacting with each other, flirting with her to create a sexual vibe) and make her see him in a new, more positive light.
Unfortunately though, this sometimes doesn’t happen and the guy instead continues to beg and plead with his ex for another chance, long after he should have stopped.
As a result, rather than make his ex think, “He must really love me if he’s willing to beg me for another chance for so long! After all this time he still hasn’t stopped. This is so flattering! It’s like a romantic movie where the hero doesn’t stop begging until he gets his girl back. Clearly, he’s not going to give up until I give him another chance. How can I say no to that?” she’s usually going to feel even more turned off by him instead.
Why?
A woman’s attraction to a guy is based mostly on his ability to make her feel like she can look up to him and respect him as a man.
So, although she may overlook his mistake if he begs and pleads with her once off and then quickly recovers himself and becomes a better, more emotionally strong man from that point onwards, if he continues to do it for too long, she will naturally begin to feel turned off by what she perceives as his needy, emotionally weak behavior.
This is why, if you want to get your ex back, you need to focus on regaining her respect for you first.
When she can respect you, she will naturally also begin to feel attracted to you and from there, reconnecting with her feelings of love becomes possible.
On the other hand, if your only approach to getting her back is begging and pleading with her to change her mind, you will unintentionally be reducing your chances by appearing needy and weak and turning her off even more.
Another possible reason why your ex wants nothing to do with you now is…
3. She doesn’t believe that you have changed or will ever change
In some cases, a guy will focus solely on the idea of getting his ex back, without ever taking a moment to think about what caused her to break up with him in the first place.
Then, when he interacts with her, his attitude, thinking, conversation style and behavior is exactly the same as it was before.
Here’s the thing though…
If a woman gets a sense that her ex hasn’t changed, or won’t be able to change, or doesn’t even know how or what to change (e.g. she wanted him to be more manly because he was too much of a pushover in the relationship with her, she wanted him to be more emotionally independent because he was too clingy and needy, she wanted him to be more emotionally masculine thus allowing her to be more emotionally feminine around him, but he has no clue how to be like that), she won’t consider giving him another chance, no matter how much he wants her to.
This is why, if you want your ex to want to be your girl again, you need to show her via your actions, behavior and the way you talk and interact with her that you’ve already changed and improved some of the things that matter to her.
For example: Some of the ways you can do that are by…
- Becoming more confident and self-assured about your attractiveness and value to her, rather than feeling insecure and unsure of yourself with her.
- Improving your ability to make her feel like a sexy, desirable woman in your presence, rather than making her feel neutral or even worse, turned off by you.
- Being more manly in your attitude, thinking and behavior, rather than allowing her to dominate you with her confident personality.
- Focusing on achieving some of your own goals and dreams in life, rather than giving everything up to follow her and becoming clingy and needy as a result.
When your ex can see for herself that you really have changed and are now a new and improved man and that if she gets back with you, you’re not going to go back to making the same mistakes as before, she’ll be able to start seeing you in a more positive way.
When that happens, her defenses will come down and she will open back up to talking to you and being with you and you can then fully re-attract her and get her back.
However, if you try to get her back without changing or improving anything about yourself first, she’s likely just going to keep saying things like, “I don’t want anything to do with you anymore!” and pushing you away.
Another possible reason why your ex wants nothing to do with you now is…
4. You still don’t know the real reasons why she broke up with you
Often, the main cause of a break up is not the big things (e.g. cheating, arguments and disagreements), but rather the very subtle things that build up and erode a woman’s feelings over time.
For example: Some of the more subtle reasons a woman will break up with a guy are…
- How he talks to her (e.g. he talks down to her, is disrespectful).
- How he reacts to her (e.g. he gives in to her too easily or gets angry with her when she pushes his buttons).
- How he portrays himself (e.g. he’s shy and unsure of himself in social situations, he’s clingy and needy with her).
- How he judges her (e.g. when she makes a mistake, or doesn’t do things his way).
- How he tries to change her (e.g. physically, or by expecting her to say and do what he wants).
- How he tries to make her feel insecure (e.g. by putting her down and mocking her).
- How he feels insecure when she tests him (e.g. she rolls her eyes at him, pretends to disagree with him during a conversation, or acts like she’s annoyed about things that she doesn’t really feel annoyed about and he begins doubting himself and her love for him).
This is why it’s so important that you get to the bottom of what really turned your ex off about you.
When you do, not only can you quickly change and improve those things about yourself, then when you interact with her and she notices that you’ve understood her deeper, secret reasons for breaking up with you, she will automatically begin to feel surges of respect and attraction for you again.
Even if she initially felt 100% certain that she wants nothing to do with you now, after she experiences the new you, she won’t be able to stop herself from feeling drawn to you again.
When that happens, she will drop her guard and allow herself to open back up to the idea of interacting with you more over the phone and in person, to see if you and her can work things out after all.
Another possible reason why your ex wants nothing to do with you now is…
5. She doesn’t see any reason to give the relationship another chance at this point
Unless you’re saying and doing things to reactivate your ex’s sexual and romantic feelings for you, it’s highly unlikely that she’s going to want to get back together again with you.
You’ve got to be active to get her back, rather than sitting around hoping she will come to her senses and change her mind all by herself.
This is why, you need to make sure that you use every opportunity you get to interact with her (e.g. via text, on social media and especially over the phone and in person) to make her have some feelings for you again.
When you focus on making her smile, laugh and feel good to be interacting with you, it’s much less likely that she’s going to want to move on and forget about you.
In fact, the more you re-spark her feelings of respect and attraction for you, the more she will be thinking things like, “I know I said that I want nothing to do with him, but suddenly that’s not true anymore. I was so convinced that I’m over him, yet now I look forward to hearing from him and even feel a bit disappointed if I don’t. What is happening to me? Why am I feeling this way about him again? What should I do?”
The truth is, making your ex feel like that (i.e. respectful, attracted, excited) is the easiest, fastest way to get her back.
So, stop worrying about what she said she wants and start interacting with her and making her feel respect and attraction for you again.
When you reactivate her sexual and romantic feelings for you once more, she stops focusing on your past mistakes and how bad things were before and she begins to feel drawn to you in a whole new and exciting way.
Soon she can’t stop herself from wanting to interact with you more and more, even though she might previously have thought that she didn’t want anything to do with you.
From there, you can build on that spark of attraction (e.g. by showing her that you’ve truly changed in some of the ways that matter to her, using humor to bring down her defenses, being more manly with her and maintaining your confidence regardless of how cold or even bitchy she’s being towards you) and make her want to come back to you.
On the other hand, if you just sit around feeling discouraged and accepting what she says to you (i.e. that she wants nothing to do with you now), she won’t see any reason to give the relationship another chance and she will then almost certainly move on and find herself a new man.
Don’t let that happen to you!
Interact with her, re-spark her feelings and get her back.
You can do it!
Where Guys Go Wrong With an Ex Who Wants Nothing to Do With Them
Some guys don’t know how to handle an ex who is saying that she wants nothing to do with them.
As a result, they end up making mistakes that turn her off even more and lose their chance of getting her back.
For example: 3 common mistakes guys make are…
1. Thinking that it’s over forever
Although it might not seem possible to change a woman’s mind when she’s saying things like, “I want nothing to do with you now,” accepting her decision and giving up and walking away is the worst thing a guy can do who wants to get his ex back.
Here’s the thing…
Even when a woman hates a guy, if he interacts with her and sparks some respect and attraction inside of her (e.g. by showing her that he’s truly changed and improved in some of the ways that matter to her, making her feel like a feminine woman in his presence, making her laugh and smile and feel good to be around him again), her feelings will automatically begin to change.
She might not want them to, but she won’t have any control over them (i.e. because when you display traits that women naturally find attractive, she will feel attracted automatically, whether she wants to or not).
However, if you give up at the first sign of resistance from her (i.e. when she says that she wants nothing to do with you now), you may lose your chance of getting her back.
So, you have to be ready to maintain your confidence, no matter what she says or does to push you away from her for good.
Then, you need to spark her feelings of respect and attraction for the new and improved you every chance you get.
When that happens, even though she may have once said that she wants nothing to do with you, her guard will naturally come down and she will open back up to the idea of being with you again.
Another common mistake that guys make is…
2. Getting angry at her
Sometimes, a guy might feel so frustrated with his ex for rejecting him, that he may begin to get angry with her.
In his mind he might be thinking things like, “How can she say that she doesn’t want anything to do with me now, after everything we had together? If she really loved me, she would at least be willing to give me one more chance. She’s just being selfish, or she never really loved me at all!”
He may then lash out at his ex.
Essentially, he’s likely hoping to shake her up and make her see things from his perspective and then give him one more chance.
Yet, getting angry with an ex woman is usually the worst thing a guy can do.
Rather than make her change her mind, it usually only makes her think something like, “Who does he think he is anyway? I’m not his property! This just proves to me that he’s not the guy I want to be with.”
She then closes herself off from him even more and it becomes even more difficult for him to interact with her so that he can spark her feelings and get her back.
Another common mistake that guys make is…
3. Continuing to try to convince her to change her mind
In some cases, a guy will use every interaction he has with his ex (e.g. via text, social media, on the phone or in person) to try and convince her to change her mind.
For example: He might say things like, “If you ever loved me, please just give me one more chance. I’ll do whatever it takes to make things right between us. I promise our relationship will be better this time. I will be the man you want me to be.”
Yet, that rarely (if ever) works, unless the guy has actually sparked a woman’s sexual and romantic feelings for him first.
If he has, her defenses will be down and she will likely be thinking that if she doesn’t give him another chance, she may end up regretting it later on.
However, if he hasn’t, she’ll see no reason to change her mind and will then focus on moving on as quickly as possible with a new man so that she can then say to her ex, “Sorry, but it’s too late. I told you that I want nothing to do with you and now I have a new boyfriend. So, please stop trying to convince me to change my mind, because it’s too late. I’ve moved on and you need to do the same. Bye.”
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