That’s because you need to reactivate her feelings for you first and then hook up with her again, before she will become open to discussing the relationship.
Prior to making that happen, you have to approach her as though you and her are only friends now.
Use the interactions that you have to make her feel a strong, renewed sense of respect and sexual attraction for you and her guard will come down.
You can then hook up with her, blow her mind with the new and improved version of you and she will then naturally become open to giving the relationship another chance.
Here are 5 tips to help you make her open back up to you and want you back…
1. Understand the real reason why she won’t discuss the relationship with you
When a woman has disconnected herself from feeling love, respect and attraction for her guy, she’s usually going to do everything in her power to then get over him and move on as quickly as possible.
This includes refusing to discuss the relationship with him and telling him to leave her alone.
So, when a guy is calling her up and possibly even begging and pleading with her to listen to him, it’s just not going to work.
He might say things like, “If we can talk about it, we can fix it. Just give me a chance to make things right. Why are you being so stubborn?” in the hopes that she will open up and discuss the relationship with him.
Yet, rather than make her think, “Oh, okay. Maybe I’m being too hard on him. I should at least discuss the relationship with him… it’s the right thing to do,” she will become even more closed off.
Why?
In most instances, when a guy is trying to get his ex to open up and discuss the relationship with him, he’s just begging and pleading with her, making promises to change, or expecting her to give him another chance based on the fact that the relationship used to be good between them.
Yet, he’s not seeing it from her perspective.
Think about it like this…
If you weren’t feeling attracted to a girl anymore (e.g. because she put on a lot of weight, stopped wearing makeup and putting in an effort to look attractive for you) and she then tried to get you back without improving her attractiveness first, you would just keep saying, “No. You need to accept that it’s over between us and leave me alone.”
In the same way, if you don’t make some attractive changes and improvements to the way you talk, think, act, behave and interact with your ex before you try to discuss the relationship with her, it’s not going to work.
She’s not going to say to herself, “It doesn’t matter that nothing about him has really changed or improved. I’m just going to ignore all that and based on the fact that we had a great relationship in the beginning, I’m going to open up, tell him what’s bothering me and guide him through the steps of getting me back, so that we can live happily ever after – just like in fairytales and Hollywood movies.”
Instead, she will simply close herself off from you even more and say what you would say if you were in her shoes, “Leave me alone. I don’t want anything more to do with you. Just accept that it’s over between us and move on.”
So, feeling as though you are entitled to your ex’s attention, or that she is obligated to discuss the relationship with you and give you another chance, isn’t going to make her change how she feels.
If you want her back, you’ve got to be able to re-attract her, so she actually has a good reason to give you another chance (i.e. she feels attracted to you now, she likes how she feels around the new you).
Yet, if you don’t re-attract her first, she’s just going to remain closed off to you because the feelings aren’t mutual.
You feel attracted to her, you’re in love and you want her back, but you haven’t reawakened her feelings for you yet.
So, when you try to force your ex to discuss the relationship with you (especially if you haven’t made any changes to the way you behave and interact with her), it only makes her more determined to keep you away from her.
If you want to change how she feels, you need to interact with her (via text, e-mail, social media and more importantly, over the phone and in person) and reawaken her feelings of respect and attraction for you again (e.g. by making her smile and laugh).
When you trigger her positive feelings for you again, she stops thinking negatively about you and becomes open to talking to you and seeing you more and more.
So, if you want her back ASAP, I recommend that stop trying to make her discuss the relationship.
Instead, get her on a phone call or meet up with her in person and make her feel sparks of sexual and romantic attraction for you.
When you do that, her guard comes down and she then feels drawn to the idea of having a relationship with you again, without you even having to discuss it with her.
By the way…
On a phone call or in person, you need to…
2. Take the pressure off by talking to her as though you and her are only friends for now
If you try to discuss the relationship with you ex, or make her feel like you’re pressuring her to get back together again, she’s just going to clam up and possibly even stop talking to you completely.
So, if you don’t want that to happen, you need to approach your interactions with her as though you and her are only friends now.
Don’t worry – you won’t actually end up as friends.
Why?
You will be actively making her feel sparks of sexual and romantic attraction while also talking to her as though you and her are only friends.
As a result, she will feel sexually and romantically drawn to you on her own and won’t want you and her to just be friends.
For example: Imagine that you’re on a phone call with your ex and she gets annoyed and says something like, “Why do you keep calling me? Can’t you get the message that it’s over between us? Just leave me alone.”
Naturally, hearing her say something like that to you might make you feel upset and even a bit sad.
Yet, you can’t let it get to you.
You have to be strong, so she can feel respect and attraction for you.
So, rather than getting upset, a better approach is to smile (remember, a person can “hear” a smile over the phone based on the change in your tonality and how you’re saying things) while saying something along the lines of, “Hey, why are you being so serious? Relax girl. I know that we’ve broken up and not calling you to get back together. I just want to say hi as a friend and see how you’re doing, that’s all. We can do that, right? We’re both mature enough to do that. Even though it’s over between us (which I accept by the way), we can still be friends, can’t we? There’s nothing wrong with that. So, let’s try this again from the beginning… Hi, how are you today?”
By saying something like that to her, you’re effectively taking the pressure off her and letting her see that you’re not in a huge rush to get her back into a serious relationship.
You’re letting her know (without saying it) that you’re not going to push her into something she’s not ready for yet, which makes her relax, drop her guard and open up to you.
3. Allow her to begin experiencing the type of attraction experience she really wants when you interact with her
If you want your ex to stop telling you to leave her alone, you need to understand the type of attraction experience she really wants from you.
Then, you need to start giving it to her when you interact with her (e.g. over the phone and in person).
For example: Imagine a guy is talking to his ex on the phone and he turns her off because he…
- Feels insecure while talking to her.
- Feels intimidated by her dominant personality.
- Begs and pleads with her and says things like, “Why won’t you talk to me? Please forgive me! I know I messed up but I can’t bear the thought of losing you. Just give me one more chance to make it up to you. I beg you…”
- Is extra sweet and nice to her, even when she’s being rude and unfriendly towards him, in the hopes that she will realize what a good guy he is and give him another chance.
- Keeps talking about how much he loves her and misses her, without realizing that when a woman has disconnected from her feelings for a guy, she doesn’t really care how he feels anymore.
- Asks her what she wants him to change about himself, which turns her off even more because it’s annoying for her to have to explain what women feel attracted to.
- Becomes angry with her for not wanting to discuss the relationship with him and insists that she give him a chance.
Now compare that to a guy who…
- Makes her laugh and smile as he talks to her and interacts with her.
- Shows her (via the way he talks, thinks, interacts with her and responds to what she says and does) that he’s really changed (e.g. If he treated her like one of his male buddies before, he now makes her feel feminine and girly. If he always ended up arguing with her or becoming irritated very easily, he now turns potentially stressful conversations into something they can both laugh about).
- Talks to her as though they are good friends now, but also includes some sexual flirting to spark her feelings of sexual and romantic attraction.
- Wants her back, but doesn’t need her back to feel happy or fulfilled in his life.
Which guy do you think is going to be giving the woman the attraction experience she really wants?
If you picked the second guy, you would be right. (Of course!)
Essentially, the second guy is showing her (via his actions and behavior) that he’s no longer at the same level he was at when she broke up with him.
This causes her to feel respect for him based on him having the balls to man up and make some changes to himself.
She then drops her guard and allows herself to see him in a more positive light.
4. Hook up with her and blow her mind with the new and improved version of you
Regardless of how much you make your ex laugh, smile and feel good when you’re interacting with her over the phone (or via text or social media messages), it won’t make much of a difference if you don’t meet up with her in person and have sex again.
When you re-attract a woman in person and then hug, kiss and then have sex with her, she begins to feel a new type of respect, attraction and love for you.
It becomes a lot more difficult for her to keep thinking of you as the jerk that she broke up with, because she now has a new, much more exciting and pleasant picture of you in her mind, which overwrites the negative picture she had of you from the past.
From there, you just need to relax and continue saying and doing the types of things that will show her, without a shadow of a doubt, that you’re a new man now.
When she can see for herself that you’re not putting on an act to impress her so that you can get her back (and the changes are real), her feelings of respect and attraction for you will come rushing back.
She will stop saying, “Leave me alone,” and she will start saying, “Let’s see where this goes.”
Remember: When you give your ex the attraction experience she always wanted from you and then blow her mind with the best sex she’s ever experienced, it will be difficult, if not impossible, for her to keep pushing you away.
So, even though right now your ex won’t discuss the relationship with you and is telling you to leave her alone, all that will change when you change your approach to her.
When you give her what she really wants, she will be eating out of the palm of your hand in less time than you ever thought possible.
What are you waiting for?
Today is the first day of the rest of your life with her, so go for it.
Get her back.
Note: Most guys who get their ex woman back start out in the same or similar position to you.
Their woman is sick and tired of his approach to getting her back (e.g. trying to convince her to give him another chance, promising to change, texting her all the time, pouring his heart out) and has stopped being willing to discuss the relationship.
It’s not just you who is experiencing a reaction like that from your woman.
Every day now, guys from all over the world are getting their woman back by focusing on making her feel attracted again.
You can do that too.
So, I recommend that you stop trying to discuss the relationship and start making her feel the types of feelings that will make her want to have a relationship with you again.
When you do that, getting her back is natural and easy and it works.
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