Here are 5 possible reasons why a woman will say that when breaking up with you:
1. She matured faster than you during the relationship
Some guys mature faster than women, but for the most part, women tend to grow up and mature faster than guys.
This natural occurrence ends up leading to a lot of heartbreak for guys all over the world, when the woman they love eventually says something like, “Sorry, but it’s just not working out. I’m breaking up with you.”
Here’s the thing…
For a relationship to last past the initial lust and falling in love phase, there needs to be more than just a superficial attraction between the man and woman.
In other words, although they might be physically attracted to each other and enjoy each other’s company initially, that won’t be enough to keep the relationship together for life.
For a relationship to last past the initial phase, a couple needs to connect on a much deeper level.
For example: They need to …
- Ultimately want the same things in life (e.g. to get married, settle down and start a family together, or to pursue a career, or to go traveling) and be heading towards that slowly, but surely.
- Have a big goal or dream in life that they’re working towards achieving together, rather than just hanging out and wasting time as boyfriend and girlfriend.
- Have similar beliefs and values (e.g. prefer to stay at home and focus on studies or work, or prefer to party and living a carefree lifestyle).
- Be able to feel more and more respect for each other over time, based on who they are becoming together in the relationship and individually.
- Feel like life is getting better together, rather than getting worse.
- Be happy and hopeful about a future together, rather than miserable and unsure.
- Grow up and begin to experience new levels of life together, rather than remaining stuck at the same level for many years, while friends and family move on to new levels.
So, when a woman discovers that she is maturing a lot faster than her boyfriend (e.g. She’s ready to settle down, but he isn’t. She has big dreams of where she sees the relationship going in the future, but he can’t seem to decide what he really wants. She is making progress in life, but he keeps failing at what he’s doing or procrastinating and wasting time), then she may start feeling like they are no longer well matched.
Initially, she might hang around for a while in the hope that he will begin to grow up and mature like her, but if he doesn’t, she will eventually lose too much respect and attraction for him to want to stay in a relationship.
At that point, she will break up with him and say, “I’ve given you plenty of chances, but you never chance. You really need to grow up. I’m not sticking around any longer to wait and see if you will. It’s over now. I’m breaking up with you. I’ve had enough. So, goodbye.”
Another possible reason why your girlfriend broke up with you and said that you needed to grow up is…
2. You were too emotionally sensitive
There’s nothing wrong with feeling emotions as a man, but when you become too sensitive, a woman starts to lose respect and attraction for you.
Of course, that’s not what the mainstream media will tell you.
Every day, guys are bombarded by messages (e.g. TV, magazines and the internet) telling them that women want to be in a relationship with a nice, sweet, dependable guy who listens to them and can express his emotions like women do.
Yet, in reality, women are most attracted and in love when they are with a man who feels emotions, but remains in control of them like a man.
Unfortunately, a lot of guys don’t understand that, so they assume that a woman will be okay with him becoming more and more emotionally sensitive as the relationship goes on.
Yet, she won’t.
Eventually she will want to break up with him…
Of course, he can get her back after the break up if he changes his approach and re-attracts her.
Yet, a lot of guys just don’t do that.
They end up using the same old, emotionally sensitive approach that turned her off when in the relationship.
For example: Some of the ways that an emotionally guy will turn a woman off in a relationship are…
- Becoming very clingy and needy because he thinks that his girlfriend will be impressed at how devoted he is to her.
- Getting emotional or sulking like a boy when they have a disagreement.
- Blowing everything out of proportion when they have a fight (e.g. start worrying and thinking, “She doesn’t love me anymore! I’m losing her!” or, “She’s going to break up with me. I can feel it!”) and then begin to panic and stress around her.
- Crying to her when he is facing challenging problems in life.
- Cuddling into her like a boy would cuddle into his mother.
- Complaining about having to be responsible like an adult.
- Acting childish or immature around her family and friends.
- Trying to stop her from spending time with anyone but him.
As a result, he ends up getting dumped by his girlfriend and then wonders things like, “I don’t get it. I was completely devoted to her and I love her with all of my heart, but she broke up with me and said I needed to grow up. How could she just turn her back on me like that? I thought she loved me.”
Here’s the thing…
What he doesn’t understand is that almost all women feel turned off by emotionally weak, insecure men.
So, even though he assumed that he was doing the right thing (i.e. because he saw guys acting like that in movies, or in music videos), he wasn’t.
In the real world, women don’t continue to respect and feel attracted to guys who can’t grow up and be more of a man all the time.
You have to man up, or they will step down as your girl.
It’s as simple as that.
Of course, some women are okay to stay with a guy who isn’t manning up, but it’s usually because the woman needs him to help pay the rent with her, enjoys having sex with him or is insecure about her attractiveness and doesn’t want to get out into the dating scene again.
Yet, pretty much every other woman will eventually dump a guy who doesn’t grow up and become more and more of a man over time.
One of the most important parts of becoming more of a man is to gain more and more control over your emotions.
In other words, to become less and less like a boy who would cry or get upset when something happened.
Why is that important to women?
Even though women act like they are strong these days and don’t need a man to take care of them, they still feel vulnerable in this world.
This is why women all over the world feel attracted to men who are confident, emotionally strong and able to cope with whatever life throws at them, rather than settling for an emotional weak or sensitive guy who makes them feel like they have to take care of him because he can’t manage on his own.
So, when a guy becomes too emotionally sensitive in a relationship, a woman instinctively starts to lose respect and attraction for him.
If she wants to save the relationship, she might throw some hints his way by saying things like, “You’re being so childish! Just grow up will you?” or, “Why do you act like such a baby sometimes? I don’t like it” or, “You need to be more manly. When I first got with you, I didn’t think you’d end up acting like this.”
She will hope that he’ll listen, make some adjustments to his thinking and behavior and let her see that he is capable of becoming more and more of a man over time.
Yet, if he doesn’t catch on and continues with his wimpy, emotional behavior or adds to it by asking things like, “Why are you doing this to me? Don’t you love me anymore?” or, “What can I do to make you happy? You know that I wouldn’t be able to cope if you ever broke up with me, right?” it will lead to her breaking up with him.
Another possible reason why your girlfriend broke up with you and said that you needed to grow up is…
3. You became too clingy
Sometimes a guy will start off a relationship by being confident and self-assured, only to slowly begin doubting his attractiveness to her as time goes on.
As he begins to feel insecure about her desire for him, he may start thinking things like, “What if she finds another guy who is better than me (e.g. more good looking/has more money/is more successful) and then decides to break up with me? I wouldn’t be able to cope without her. I’ve got to make sure that I spend as much time with her as possible, so she doesn’t have a chance to meet any other guys.”
Yet, rather than making her think, “Oh, how sweet! My guy loves me so much he has made me the centre of his world. He only wants to spend time with me and doesn’t want anyone else to spend time with me. He must love me so much! I am so lucky!” a woman will feel smothered by his clinginess and turned off by his insecurity.
Of course, even though being clingy is unattractive to a woman, she usually won’t break up with her guy right away.
Instead, a woman will usually try to encourage her boyfriend to be more emotionally independent by suggesting that he spend more time with his friends, focus more on his goals and dreams, or take up a new hobby or sport.
If her guy ignores her hints and continues being clingy and needy, she will continue to lose respect for him.
Eventually, when she can no longer respect him, she will stop feeling attracted to him and then fall out of love with him.
At that point, she will then break up with him and try to find herself a more emotionally mature, emotionally secure and emotionally masculine guy.
Another possible reason why your girlfriend broke up with you and said that you needed to grow up is…
4. You expected her to take care of you
For a woman to maintain respect and sexual attraction for her man, she has to feel as though he is the man and she is his girl.
So, if her boyfriend starts to behave in ways that make her feel more like his mother, or big sister, who essentially has to keep saying to him, “It’s okay sweetie, I’m here for you. Don’t worry about anything, because I will take care of everything for you. You just sit back and relax and I’ll make all the decisions. I’ll take care of us” she will begin to feel more emotionally dominant than him.
As a result, she will stop thinking, acting and behaving like the feminine girl she wants to be and instead, start wearing the pants in the relationship like a man.
Here’s the thing…
A woman doesn’t want to be the boss in her relationship with a man.
There are some women who do like being the boss, but they are in the minority.
Most women who you see as being in the boss role in a relationship with a man are secretly disappointed at how they ended up with such a wimp.
In many cases, the woman will say with her man even though she is wearing the pants, but she won’t want sex and if he wants sex, he will usually have to suck up to her, do chores around the house and live up to all of her expectations to get any.
On the other hand, a man who takes on the boss role in a relationship and allows his woman to be his girl will enjoy a completely different relationship dynamic.
She will feel sexually attracted to him, initiate sex, treat him well and want to impress him by doing housework, cooking and looking sexy and pretty for him.
Of course, you won’t hear many women admit that when asked because they are embarrassed to admit what they really want.
So, you just need to look at the women who are the happiest and most in love with their man and you will see that he is the man and she is his girl.
She looks up to him and respects him as her man and he loves her and respect her as his woman.
Yet, they are not equals in terms of dominance.
He is the more dominant one and she loves it.
Despite what you may hear on politically correct TV shows, the majority of women want to be with a man who is more emotionally dominant than her, thus allowing her to relax into being an emotional, vulnerable, feminine, girly kind of woman, rather than having to ‘man up’, be the emotionally strong one and take care of him.
So, if a woman feels as though she has to hold her boyfriend’s hand and guide him through life like he is a lost little boy, she will not only feel turned off, but she will also lose too much respect for him as a man to want to stay in a relationship.
She will then try to find herself a man who knows how to be a man and loves being a man, rather than sticking with a guy who wants to be protected by a strong woman.
Strong women want a man who is even stronger than themselves (emotionally).
Yet, most strong women struggle to find that, so they end up accepting men who aren’t as strong as them, but always secretly hoping that they will meet a man who is stronger.
If a strong woman meets a man who is emotionally stronger than her, she will feel an intense attraction for him and if her current relationship is going downhill, she will almost certainly open herself up to him and then leave her boyfriend.
This is why, as a man, it’s absolutely essential that you get your emotions under control.
You’ve got to be emotionally strong and never try to cling to your boyhood weaknesses.
You’ve got to develop past that and become a man that a woman can look up to, respect and feel safe with.
If you do that, women simply don’t want to leave you.
Another possible reason why your girlfriend broke up with you and said that you needed to grow up is…
5. She got tired of noticing that the boyfriends or husbands of her friends (or family members) were much more emotionally masculine and emotionally mature compared to you
Most women like the idea of being with a man they can look up to, respect and feel proud of to show off to her family, friends and coworkers.
So, if a guy acts more like a child around her and other people (e.g. throws tantrums or sulks when things don’t go his way, says inappropriate, childish things in front of her friends, family or even her boss, behaves like a shy boy, acts very cute like a boy), she will start to feel embarrassed to be called his girlfriend.
If she also happens to notice how happy and proud her girlfriends, coworkers, sisters or cousins are of their boyfriend or husband, she will begin to wonder why she’s wasting her time trying to make things work with a guy who is too childish and immature for her.
Then, rather than put up with his lack of emotional maturity anymore, she will simply break up with him and say, “You need to grow up!”
3 Mistakes to Avoid if You Want Her Back
1. Promising that you will grow up and be more manly, if she just gives you a chance to prove it
For most women, promises aren’t what she needs to hear from her ex to want to give him another chance.
Why?
He has likely promised things to her before that he wasn’t able to follow through on, so why should she believe him now?
So, what a woman needs is for her ex to make her feel differently by actually changing the way he interacts with her from now on (e.g. by being more emotionally mature, manly, responsible), without trying to get her to commit to a relationship.
Clearly he wants to have a relationship with her, but if she gets the sense that a relationship is his number one priority, she will close up.
She will feel as though his efforts to be more manly are selfish and are simply about him trying to get her back.
This is why, you need to man up and start making her feel attracted to the new and improved you, without trying to push for a relationship.
Make her want you back naturally, rather than making her put her guard up because she feels as though you’re trying to force her into giving you another chance.
So, if you want your ex to give you another chance, don’t bother making promises to her that you will change if she gives you chance.
Instead, focus on showing her (not telling her) that you’ve fixed your emotional issues (i.e. your emotional immaturity) and have already begun to transform into the type of man she wished you were all along.
The next mistake to avoid is…
2. Feeling entitled to another chance because she used to say that she would always love you
After getting dumped, a guy might think, “How could she do this to me? She said she would love me forever. So, she owes it to me to give me another chance to make things right between us. She can’t just walk away from me like this. She promised to love me forever.”
Yet, although he makes a good point, it’s just not how a woman works.
Women say things based on how they feel in the moment, which is why you can’t take a woman’s promise seriously
A woman can literally say, “I promise to always love you no matter what” based on her feeling attracted and in love with you.
Days, weeks or months later, she can then “I hate you. I never want to see you again” based on not feeling attracted and in love with you.
That infuriates some guys, but it’s just how women are.
Women aren’t the same as men, even though the politically correct media will try to suggest that they are.
Women are unreliable promise makers because they based their promises on what they feel, rather than on their honor.
When a man makes a promise, he wants to keep it because he wants to be a man of his word.
Yet, when a woman makes a promise, it’s just what she is saying based on how she feels.
She doesn’t need to be a woman of her word and be a strong, reliable figure for her man to look up to and follow.
She just has to be his girl.
So, if your girlfriend promised that she would love you forever, you need to stop looking at that as a legitimate promise.
It’s just based on how she felt at the time.
If you want to get back, you have to make her feel a renewed sense of respect and attraction for you who you are now.
When she feels respect and attraction for you again, her thoughts and behavior will change and she will open back up to you.
So, don’t try to get another chance with her because you think she owes you it based on a promise she made when she was in love.
Get her back based on how attracted you make her feel now.
That’s how it works with women.
The next mistake to avoid is…
3. Seeking pity for how lost and lonely you feel now that she doesn’t want to be with you
When a guy feels hopeless and lost about how to get his ex girlfriend back, he might try make her feel sorry for him based on how lonely and sad he is now that she’s gone.
For example: He might cry to her over the phone, or in person and say things like, “Can’t you see that I’m lost without you?” or, “My life is a total mess now without you. I can’t function. I can’t concentrate at work. I think I might even get fired. I need you,” send her sad texts, tell her friends or family how devastated her feels without her, or post sad status updates on social media.
Yet, rather than making her think, “I never realized how much he really needs me. Maybe I was too hasty with my decision. Based on his need for me, I should give him one more chance,” she thinks something along the lines of, “This is exactly what I mean when I said he needs to grow up. He’s acting like a little boy who needs me to bail him out of his unhappiness. Well, maybe I took care of him in the relationship, but now. We’ve broken up now and his ‘pity me’ act has only convinced me that I made the right decision by calling things off. I’m now going to focus on finding myself a real man and moving on.”
So, if you truly want to get your girlfriend back, the best approach is to interact with her (over the phone and especially in person) and reactivate her feelings for you by displaying some of the traits that she’s been looking for in you in all along (e.g. confidence, emotional maturity, emotional masculinity).
Don’t tell her, “Hey, I’ve changed” and essentially ask, “Can you give me another chance now?”
That approach rarely works.
You’ve got to change and then not push for a relationship, so she naturally begins to think, “Hmm…why do I feel like I want him back all of a sudden? I miss him. Maybe I should give him another chance.”
You then agree when she suggests giving the relationship another chance, so it’s essentially her idea and what she wants.
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