4 tips on how to get your girlfriend back when your parents don’t like her:
1. Focus on making her have such strong feelings for you that she stops caring so much about what your family might think of her
When you interact with your ex girlfriend from now on, make sure that what you say and do makes her feel so much respect, attraction and love for you that what your family thinks of her becomes irrelevant to her.
For example: Imagine that you’re at a coffee shop with your ex girlfriend right now.
She’s being cold and unfriendly towards you and saying things like, “I shouldn’t have come here. We both know that your parents hate me, so this is just a waste of my time. It’s not going to work and we need to accept that.”
Rather than getting upset at her, just use her negativity against her to make her laugh so much that she stops focusing on the problem.
To begin with, you might laugh and say (in a joking manner), “We could kill my parents. Would that help?” and have a laugh with her about it.
You might then say, “No, just kidding. I could legally disown them. I could even change my last name to something funny like…” and make something up that would be funny for you and her.
You might then add in, “Look, all jokes aside…at the end of the day, what matters most is how we feel about each other. If you love me and I love you, then we can be together.”
If she says something like, “But, we can’t. Your parents are always going to be there. They hate me. This isn’t going to work.”
You might then use some humor and add in, “Yeah, you’re right. You really are a horrible girlfriend. I can see why they hate you” and then have a laugh with her about that.
By approaching a potentially serious conversation in a funny way, she’s more likely to relax, smile, laugh and be more open to sticking around to see where things go from there.
Using humor to get her laughing creates some positive feelings inside of her, which makes her stop focusing only on the negatives of the situation.
Her guard then comes down and she becomes open to interacting with you some more (e.g. over the phone, seeing you in person again) to see what happens.
Note: If you really want to make your ex have strong feelings for you again, you need to accept that there might also be other, secret reasons why she broke up with you that she didn’t tell you about.
Here’s the thing…
It happens sometimes, but in most cases, a woman won’t break up with a guy just because his parents don’t like her.
She will only go through with the break up if there are other things about him that just don’t feel right to her as well.
For example: If a guy is too emotionally weak to stand up for himself to his family, does whatever they tell him and doesn’t have the confidence or emotional strength to be his own man in life, then his woman will lose respect for him and feel turned off.
Rather than putting in extra effort to get along with his parents, she will begin to think something like, “He’s always making excuses for his parents’ bad treatment of me. He’s so weak minded when it comes to his family. Even when something is important to him, he doesn’t have the balls to stand up to them and go after what he wants in life. So, I just don’t think this relationship is worth fighting for anymore. If he can’t even stand up for himself to his own parents, what are the chances of him standing up to an unreasonable boss or authority figure that might be treating him badly? He lacks a backbone and I just don’t want to be with a guy like that. I want a man who is emotionally strong and confident enough in himself to stand up for what he believes, no matter what.”
If she really loves him, she will wait for a while see if he will eventually man up, but if he continues to lack a backbone and essentially do nothing to improve things between her and his family, she will likely lose so much respect and attraction for him that she will simply leave.
So, a couple of questions that you need to ask yourself at this point are:
- Is the real reason why she broke up with me because my parents didn’t like her, or did she use it as an excuse because she didn’t want to tell me hear secret reasons (e.g. she wants a guy who is more manly, she hated how she could boss me around, she stopped feeling attracted to me because I was too much of a softie)?
- Did I make her feel the way she wanted to feel in a relationship, or were there other things about me that turned her off besides the issue with my family?
By asking yourself these questions, you might discover that there were reasons for your break up other than just the fact that your parents didn’t like her.
When you uncover those reasons (you have to find them out yourself without asking her because she’s almost certainly not going to want to teach you how to get her back), you can then quickly change and improve some of the things that really matter to her.
For example: You can start being more emotionally strong, standing up for yourself and for what you want in life to your parents and to other people, not letting other people make decisions for you and being a good guy, but not being too nice.
Then, when you interact with her and she sees that you’re now the kind of man she can look up to and respect, she will start thinking something like, “I know his parents don’t like me, but I just don’t care about what they think anymore. I love him and I want to be with him, so I will just have to find a way to handle them from now on. I’m not going to risk my future happiness with my perfect guy over them. They’re just going to have to learn to live with me. I’m staying. He’s my man.”
Another tip on how to get your girlfriend back when your parents don’t like her is…
2. Don’t try to push a relationship on her at this point
If you’re interacting with your ex (e.g. via text, e-mail, on social media, on the phone and in person) and she says things like, “I miss you,” then just remain calm and in control.
It might be very tempting for you to want to push her into agreeing to give your relationship another chance, but you shouldn’t at this point.
You’ve got to make her really want it so bad that she begins to push for it.
If you don’t allow her to feel that, she may close up and start playing hard to get and making your family out to be worse than they actually are.
So, what should you do instead?
Just agree to catch up as friends and then see how you both feel.
If she can sense that you are being sincere with her, she will likely agree.
The important thing then is to use every meet up that you have with her to build upon her feelings of respect and sexual attraction for you.
The more you make her feel good to be around you (e.g. by making her laugh and smile, making her feel feminine in contrast to your masculine vibe), the more she will start thinking, “Maybe this relationship is worth fighting for. Maybe I shouldn’t be so concerned about his parents. Maybe they will eventually accept me again.”
Another tip on how to get your girlfriend back when your parents don’t like her is…
3. Once you get her back, help her prepare to get along better with your family
Just because your parents don’t like your girlfriend right now, it doesn’t mean that they never, ever will.
Maybe there are certain aspects of her thinking and behavior that have caused your parents to see her in a negative light.
That’s fine.
She can change and so can they.
People change all the time.
If she got off to a bad start with them, or if they had certain prejudices against her, all of that can go away with time.
For example: Sometimes a guy comes from a different socio-economic background, cultural group or race than his girlfriend.
So, to prepare her to get along better with his parents who were judgmental of her for those reasons, he might need to explain certain etiquette and cultural and ethnic customs to her so she can make his parents be more welcoming and comfortable with the situation.
In this way, she won’t be ‘putting her foot in it’ by saying or doing something that might come across as rude or disrespectful to his parents.
Essentially, it’s up to you as the man to smooth the way between your girlfriend and your parents by making sure that she is fully prepared when she meets up with them again (i.e. she understands your family dynamics and customs).
Important: Make sure that preparing your girlfriend to get along better with your family is not about making her feel like it’s all her fault and that everything she’s been saying and doing is wrong!
Instead, ensure that she understands that your family operates differently to her and that there is no correct way to live life on this planet.
There are different cultures all over the world, different ways of doing things and different family dynamics.
None of them is the correct way.
It’s simply the way that it’s done in that particular area, or those kind of people.
It’s not her fault and it’s not their fault.
People simply think that “this is the way life is and should be” when they think of their culture and way of doing things.
They are wrong, but try telling them that!
Everyone thinks that their culture and way of doing things is superior to everyone else’s.
It’s not a debate that you can ever win, so you just have to let people be who they are.
This is something your girlfriend needs to understand, rather than trying to fight against the potentially close-minded approach of your parents.
Additionally, make sure that you tell your girlfriend that you love her, support her and won’t leave her to fend for herself when around your parents.
Naturally, when she feels better prepared and knows that you have her back, interactions with your parents will become a lot easier.
At the same time, when you parents notice that she’s putting in the effort to fit in more with the family dynamic rather than trying to be a rebel or trying to change how they think or what they believe, your parents will likely also make the effort to be nicer to her.
Another tip on how to get your girlfriend back when your parents don’t like her is…
4. For a little while, try to spend a minimal time around your family when with her
After you and your girlfriend get back into a relationship, don’t put pressure on her (or your parents) to spend time together right away.
Instead, focus on giving her as much attention as you can (without neglecting your family) and building on her feelings for you.
The more she falls back in love with you, the more willing she will be to make changes and improvements to her thinking and behavior to come across more favorably to your parents.
Also, the longer you stick with her, the more your parents will realize that you are serious about this woman and they’ll most likely then put in the effort to be more accepting of her.
It might take some time, but it will happen.
It’s up to you to lead with your emotional strength and maturity and guide everyone to a place of mutual understanding and respect.
You will then be a man that your woman can look up to and fall deeper and deeper in love with and your parents will be proud of.
3 Mistakes to Avoid in Your Situation
Although you might desperately want your girlfriend back right now, make sure that you remain calm and avoid making any of the following mistakes…
1. Promising to never see your family again, just so you can be with her
It might seem like a good thing to do, but the bottom line is that your family is still an important aspect of your life and sooner or later, you will need to see them again.
Also, if you promise to never spend time with your family just to be with her, eventually you will either break your promise (because family is family), or you might end up resenting her for coming between you and your parents.
In the long run, if you feel as though your girlfriend is the one for you, then it’s in your best interests to find a way to reconcile the relationship between her and your parents so that everyone can get along.
So, remain calm and focus on making your girlfriend feel so attracted and in love with you that she feels compelled to make an effort to get along with your parents.
Another mistake to avoid is…
2. Trying to get her to want a relationship, before making her have strong feelings for you again
If you skip the part about making her feel attracted and in love with you, then she’s most likely going to want to remain broken up.
Remember: There are almost certainly other reasons for the break up and it’s not all just about your parents.
So, make sure that you fix the other things about your behavior or attitude that have been turning her off and make her fall more in love with you.
If you push for a relationship before then, she will almost certainly reject your offer and ask for time apart.
During that time, she might then decide to make herself feel better by getting herself a new boyfriend, meeting his parents, making them like her and enjoying the love.
She can then look back at her situation with you and blame you and your parents, rather than taking some or all of the blame for how she behaved.
Another mistake to avoid is…
3. Causing the relationship feel stressful, by allowing her to make the family issue out to be a bigger problem than it really is
A feminine woman sometimes likes to create drama in a situation because it allows her to express her emotions, get caught up in the heat of the moment and be irrational.
Men see it as crazy behavior, but it’s just the way that women are.
Why?
One of the main reasons why is that it’s a way for a woman to test whether her man is emotionally strong enough to remain confident, calm and in control amidst all the drama that she is creating.
If he is able to remain confident and laugh at her for being a little drama queen, she will respect him and feel attracted to him, even though she won’t initially make that obvious.
She might pretend to get angry at him for not taking her irrational outburst seriously, but that’s just a test of his confidence.
If he remains light hearted and tells her that he loves her and cares about her, but she is out of line, she will respect him.
Once again, she probably won’t make that obvious right away (e.g. she will walk off in a huff, pretending to be over him and promising to never speak to him again), but she will be back.
I know, I know.
It sounds risky to do that.
However, the alternative is to put up with her nonsense and take it seriously, which will then cause her to lose respect for you.
She will enjoy creating the drama, won’t be feeling respect for you and will then want to make herself feel better by hooking up with a new guy and moving on.
I see it all the time.
I’ve been helping new men get women back for many years now.
The guys who lack the balls to laugh at their woman when she is being unreasonable or irrational, are the ones who can’t get her back.
On the other hand, the guys who man up and don’t take her outbursts so seriously, suddenly end up having sex with her and getting back into a relationship.
So, in terms of your girlfriend…
Currently, she might be making the situation between her and your parents out to be bigger than it really is (e.g. because she misunderstands their behavior, she’s too emotionally sensitive and takes everything too personally, she wants to create drama to see how you handle yourself).
What you need to do is just laugh at her and the situation, rather than getting upset and allowing her to create a huge problem for you and her to overcome.
Initially, she might act shocked that you’re not reacting to her drama and taking her seriously.
However, even if she doesn’t show it, she will be feeling a huge amount of respect and sexual attraction for you for having the emotional strength and maturity to see the situation in a more light-hearted way, rather than getting caught up in her fake drama.
Of course, there is a problem between her and your parents.
They don’t like her very much and that is true.
However, if you let her make it out to be a bigger problem than it is, then you’re not going to be getting her back.
So, you need to have the balls to make light of the situation and not let her take it all so seriously.
Focus on making her feel so attracted and in love with the new and improved you that she stops caring about what your parents may think and just wants to be with you.
Do you think you can do that?
Don’t doubt yourself.
You can make her feel that way.
You can overcome this problem and get her back.
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