Here are 7 of the most common reasons why a woman will leave a boyfriend, due to believing that he will never change.
Which of the following applies most to you and your girlfriend?
1. She was tired of having to work on the relationship and just wanted to be in love
Couples who have a successful relationship and remain in love, are able to improve and become better for each other over time (e.g. they change or adjust some of the things that annoy the other person, listen and understand, honestly care for the other person’s feelings).
In other words, it does take a bit of work or effort.
That’s fine.
What isn’t fine for a woman, is when the relationship always requires a lot of effort and work.
There always seem to be problems between them and she never gets to relax and just be in love with her boyfriend.
She sees her girlfriends, coworkers or siblings being able to relax, be happy and be in love with their boyfriend, but she doesn’t get to experience that often, if at all.
In cases like those, a woman can eventually get to the point where she no longer wants to feel stressed, or depressed by the relationship and wants to get away from it.
She just wants to be in love and enjoy her life, rather than always having to get into arguments, big discussions or have mini breakups because the relationship isn’t working.
2. He became too emotionally dependent on her, which made the relationship feel more like a burden than a benefit
For example: An emotionally dependent (or needy) guy might…
Put all his focus on her and neglect other areas of his life (e.g. his goals, dreams, work, hobbies, interests, friendships).
Make her his main reason for happiness (i.e. without her he feels lost and hopeless. She is his ‘everything’ or his ‘world.’ Without her, he’d be nothing. All he cares about is being with her).
Struggle to make decisions in life without her input or approval.
Need her to regularly reassure him of her love, commitment or loyalty to him (i.e. he was clingy and insecure, worried about being cheated on or left).
That’s not what a woman wants.
A woman wants a man to be the emotionally stronger one, or the leader in the relationship, rather than needing her to support him emotionally, or lead him and her.
If he can’t man up and allow her to relax into being his girl, she will lose respect and attraction for him.
In most cases, the woman will stick around in the hope that her boyfriend will change.
If he doesn’t, the relationship will begin to feel more like a burden than a benefit to her and she will eventually dump him.
Here’s what a lot of emotionally dependent guys don’t realize…
The correct balance to have when in a relationship with a woman, is that your biggest goals, dreams and ambitions are your first priority in life and she is your second priority.
That doesn’t mean you should treat her as being unimportant, or less valuable, or actually say to her, “You’re not as important as…”
No.
Instead, you love her, respect her, care about her and enjoy a committed relationship with her, but she isn’t your number one goal in life.
Your number one goal in life is the achievement of your purpose (i.e. your biggest dreams, goals and ambitions) and you will love her, respect her, appreciate her and care for her along the way to making that happen and when you achieve it.
You won’t disregard your purpose, or put it off for years or decades just so you can spend all of your time with her.
Instead, you will spend your life (or many decades of it) fulfilling your purpose, by rising through all the levels of it.
When you live your life in that way, you will not be emotionally dependent (i.e. needy) and will always have the respect of your woman.
She will look up to you, respect you, feel attracted to you and love you because you are her fearless, courageous, manly man who loves her, respects her and appreciates her, while following through on your biggest goals, dreams and ambitions in life.
If you never understand that or do it, you will never be truly happy with yourself, a woman will never truly love you and you will always experience problems in relationships that make one or both of you feel like breaking up.
Another common reason why a woman will leave a man due to believing he will never change, is…
3. He lied to her, or let her down one too many times
For example: Her boyfriend got into a pattern of lying to her, or letting her down and then apologizing and promising to never do it again.
She then forgave him only for him to break his promise again and again.
Eventually, she got fed up with the pattern of lies, apologies and forgiveness and lost too much trust in him to believe that he could ever change.
Then, rather than sticking around and continuing to put up with his disrespectful, disloyal and unloving treatment of her, she broke up with him.
4. He was unwilling to fully change because he didn’t agree with her
In other words, he changed a little bit here and there to keep her (or shut her up), but didn’t actually agree with what she was asking of him.
For example: A guy might have partied a lot, or spent a lot of time hanging out with friends without doing anything that resulted in him becoming more successful in life (e.g. watching a lot of TV, smoking pot or drinking, playing video games, talking with friends).
There’s nothing wrong with a guy doing things like that, but if his girlfriend wanted him to become more serious and focused on their future together, it would have really disappointed her.
As a result, she may have nagged him, complained and tried to push him to change his habits.
To make her happy (or shut her up for a while, so he didn’t have to get dumped), he might have spent less time hanging out with his friends and put a little bit of effort into making some progress in life.
Yet, secretly, he didn’t agree with what she was asking of him.
He liked his way of living and never really wanted to change.
So, after a few weeks or months, he stopped putting in the effort to make progress in life and went back to being carefree and unmotivated about ‘serious’ things such as getting promoted, making money, starting a family, getting married, getting a house and so on.
Since a woman loses attractiveness as she ages and also becomes less fertile over the years, she feels differently about wasting time in a relationship than a man does.
Men don’t have to worry about those sorts of things, so it doesn’t feel as urgent to get a family started, buy a home and settle down.
Women rarely explain that to a boyfriend when breaking up with him, but they feel it deep down.
She just doesn’t want to waste more of her youthful attractiveness and fertility on a guy who seems like he will be a bad provider, or an unattractive or problematic spouse (e.g. because he’s insecure, unmotivated, takes her for granted).
As a result, she dumps him and tries to move on.
Another possible reason why a woman will dump a guy and say that it’s because she believes he will never change, is…
5. She is trying to lay the blame on him to avoid feeling guilty for dumping him
In cases like these, the guy is usually a ‘nice guy’ and hasn’t really done anything wrong, other than being unattractive (i.e. because women aren’t sexually attracted to nice guys).
However, she can’t really say that to him (e.g. because she doesn’t know what to say, doesn’t want to hurt his feelings, doesn’t want him to try and talk her out of her decision, doesn’t want him to get angry at her or accuse her of being crazy for rejecting his nice, honest, loving treatment of her, doesn’t want him to say, “Okay, I will change. I will be more of a bad boy, or whatever you want”).
To get a woman like that back, the guy needs to stop using his ‘nice guy’ approach and start being more of a challenge.
It’s not about treating her badly, or not being nice at all.
Instead, it’s about letting her sense that she actually needs to impress him, treat him well and maintain his interest too, rather than him being the only one treating her well.
He can’t tell her that she needs to do that.
He has to make her sense it, by using a new approach to attraction that causes her to want to impress him, maintain his interest and treat him well.
If he does that, she will naturally have new sexual and romantic feelings for him and will want to explore those feelings, rather than walking away missing him and regretting it when he moves on without her.
6. She only ever saw changes from him when she seriously threatened to dump him, or broke up with him for a while
For example: A guy took his girlfriend for granted (e.g. expected her to continue loving him even though he wasn’t being attractive to her in terms of his behavior, stopped looking at her or treating her as a sexy woman and instead, got into the habit of treating her more like a friend, roommate or housemate).
His ungrateful approach made her feel unloved, unappreciated and then led to arguments, fights and in some cases even a mini breakup.
To prevent her from leaving him, he temporarily put in effort to change (e.g. he was nicer to her, gave her more attention, helped out more around the house, complimented her about her appearance).
As a result, she changed her mind and gave him another chance.
Yet, he then gradually went back to how he was before, or developed new ways of taking her for granted (e.g. being nice to her, but then ignoring her for most of the weekend while he played video games).
This made her believe that he wasn’t serious about changing and only made small adjustments to shut her up, or avoid himself getting dumped.
So, she left him.
7. He tried to become the man she wanted, but didn’t really understand what he was supposed to do
A woman might say she wants her guy to spend less time at work.
However, what she really means is she wants more of his time and attention because she has been feeling neglected by him lately.
She doesn’t need him to spend less time working and instead, needs him to be more attentive to her when he actually spends time with her.
However, some guys make the mistake of taking everything that a woman says literally.
So, a guy will spend less time working and extra time hanging around the house, watching TV, playing video games, playing with his phone, or having fairly superficial interactions with his girlfriend.
That doesn’t satisfy her though because it’s not what she actually wants.
She wants him to be more present with her during interactions and make her feel loved, noticed and wanted.
He doesn’t have to do that all day, every day.
Instead, if she genuinely feels noticed most times that they interact, she will be satisfied.
She will feel as though he understood her and is no longer taking her presence in his life for granted.
The guy doesn’t need to cut his work hours down, unless he is seriously overworking.
Instead, he needs to understand what the woman really means and then do more of that, rather than listening to what she says and taking it as a direct order.
Women don’t want to order men around and feel like a boss.
Instead, women try to steer their men in certain directions by suggesting things, asking questions, complaining or showing satisfaction or dissatisfaction.
All you need to do is pay attention and understand what she really means, rather than taking her words as direct orders, as though she’s a military sergeant or your parent.
As the man, you need to maintain the position of dominance in the relationship, rather than allowing a woman to walk all over you, or confuse you with random ‘orders’ she seems to be giving you.
Unfortunately, a lot of guys don’t understand that and after months or years trying to do what a woman told them to do, they end up getting dumped.
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