Here are 5 ways to change her mind, so you can get another chance:
1. Stop asking for another chance and start making her feel attracted to the new you
Right now your girlfriend is likely feeling many negative emotions when she thinks about you and your relationship (e.g. anger, bitterness, disappointment).
So, if every time you interact with her all you do is say things like, “I’m really sorry! I know I stuffed up again and that you’ve given me so many chances already, but I promise you that this time will be different,” rather than think, “Okay, maybe I’ll give him one more chance, but this is the last time,” she’s usually going to be thinking things like, “No way! I’ve reached the end of my patience with him and nothing he says or does is going to make me change my mind. Besides, I’ve heard all his pretty promises many times before. He’s always saying he’s going to change and then when I give him another chance, he simply goes back to being the same jerk he was before. I’m not falling for that again. I just don’t have any feelings left for him anymore. This time it’s really over between us.”
That’s why, this time around, you need to change your approach.
You need to stop asking for another chance and instead make her want to give you another chance.
How can you do that?
By using every interaction you have with her from this moment onwards (e.g. via text, social media and especially over the phone and in person) to re-spark her feelings for you and make her feel good to be interacting with you.
So, the next time you’re on a phone call or at a meet up with your girlfriend and she’s being cold, closed off and even bitchy towards you, use that as an opportunity to reactivate some of her feelings or respect and attraction for you.
You can do that by…
- Using humor to lighten the mood and make her feel more relaxed to be talking to you again.
- Flirting with her to create some sexual tension between you and her.
- Staying confident and positive, regardless of what she says or does (e.g. she tells you that it’s 100% over between you).
- Behaving differently to the way she expects you to (e.g. she thinks you’re going to ask her for another chance, so you talk about the things you’re doing without her, she expects you to be on your best behavior with her, so you use ballsy humor instead, she expects you to be insecure and unsure of yourself around her, so you stay confident and self-assured instead).
The more you focus on making her feel attracted to the new you, the more open she will become to talking to you over the phone and seeing you in person.
Her feelings will then slowly begin to change, even if she initially believed that was impossible.
You will then start to see that sparkle come back into her eyes when she looks at you with feelings of respect and attraction once again.
You can then build on those feelings and get her back.
Another way to change your girlfriend’s mind is…
2. Accept the break up and agree to be friends for now
One of the best ways to take the pressure off your girlfriend and make her feel okay to continue interacting with you, rather than cutting you completely out of her life, is to tell her that you accept the break up and that you’re fine with being ‘just friends’ for now.
For example: You might say something along the lines of, “Hey, I get it. I know I’ve put you through a lot and it’s hard for you to trust me again and give me another chance. However, I want you to know… I accept that we’re broken up and I promise not to pressure you into doing anything you don’t want. We can just be friends now, okay?”
Of course, she might still respond by saying something like, “I don’t know. I don’t think I can be friends after everything you’ve put me through,” or “I’m not sure that’s a good idea.”
Regardless of what she says, don’t get upset or start thinking, “Oh no! This isn’t working! It’s hopeless. I can sense that she’s not going to change her mind this time!”
Instead, just maintain your confidence around her and say in a joking way, “Hey, don’t be so dramatic. We can be friends. We’re mature enough to do that, right?”
In most cases, even if a woman is initially reluctant to agree to that, she will say something like, “Okay” or, “Just for now” because she won’t want her ex to be the one who is more mature than her in the situation.
You can then use your friendship with her to reactivate her feelings of respect, attraction and love for you (e.g. by showing her that you’re a new and improved man, making her feel attracted in ways that you never have before) and then get her back into a relationship with you once more.
Another way to change your girlfriend’s mind is…
3. Give her 3 to 7 days of space
Sometimes a guy becomes too overwhelming after a break up.
For example: He might…
- Text, call or send messages to his ex via social media all the time asking her to give him a chance to explain.
- Beg and plead with her for another chance.
- Bombard her with flowers, gifts and other tokens of his love for her as a way of apologizing for what happened.
- Show up unexpectedly at her house, workplace or university so that he can talk to her about their relationship.
Yet, in almost all cases, this kind of behavior only turns a woman off even more.
Rather than think, “He must really love me if he’s going to all this trouble to apologize and make things right between us,” she usually just feels smothered, overloaded and stressed by the constant attention and pressure he’s putting on her.
As a result, she closes herself off even more and she may then even unfriend him on social media, block his number on her phone and even enlist the help of a friend or co-worker to keep him away from her.
All in all, this makes reactivating her feelings and getting her back a lot more difficult for the guy.
So, don’t make that mistake.
Instead, a better approach is to actually give your girlfriend a few days of space (i.e. 3 to 7), so that things can calm down between you and she can even begin to miss you a little bit.
So, if you haven’t done so already, stop all interactions with her for a few days.
During that time, she will have a chance to stop focusing on things about you that she doesn’t like and begin to remember and miss some of the things she actually does like about you (e.g. the way you always treat her like a princess, how you always supported her in achieving her goals and dreams, how you could always make her laugh or smile even when she was really sad or in a bad mood).
The more she focuses on the good things about you, the more her resolve to never give you another chance will begin to weaken.
Then, if you contact her again and focus on saying and doing the types of things that will reawaken her feelings for you again (e.g. making her laugh and smile, making her feel like a desirable woman, showing her that you’ve changed some of the things that matter to her), she won’t be able to stop herself from opening up to you again (even if it’s only a little bit).
By the way…
Don’t make the mistake of thinking that if 3 to 7 days of space will make her miss you, then giving her a few weeks or months will be even better.
No! No! No!
That only works if a woman is still secretly in love with her ex and is hoping they will get back together again.
In the majority of ex back cases, a woman is no longer in love with her ex and feels as though she made the right decision to break up with him.
So, if a guy then gives her too much space (i.e. a few weeks or months), she simply doesn’t care.
Instead, she feels relieved not to have the pressure of dealing with him anymore and she then focuses on moving on and finding herself a new man.
This is why you shouldn’t give your ex any more than 3 to 7 days of space.
If you’ve been very annoying and needy, give her the full 7 days, then call her, reactivate her feelings for you and get her back.
Another way to change your girlfriend’s mind is…
4. Call her, re-attract her and then end the phone call
For example: Imagine that you’re on a call with your ex and she says something like, “What do you want? Why aren’t you listening to me? I’ve given you too may chances already and I won’t give you another one. You need to get that into your head and just leave me alone!”
No matter how hurtful her words might feel, you need to maintain your confidence with her and stay calm, relaxed and open.
From there, use some humor to ease the tension and make her laugh, smile and drop her defenses a little bit.
The more you make her smile and laugh, the less she will be able to keep herself closed off.
She may then begin thinking things like, “This isn’t so bad after all. He’s actually being really cool about the break up. I can’t believe I’m thinking this, but I’m actually enjoying talking to him again.”
Once you’ve made her feel attracted and caused her to relax and drop her guard, you can then say something along the lines of, “Well, anyway… it’s been great talking to you again, but I’ve got to get going now. Thanks for the chat though, we should do it again soon, okay? I’ll call you sometime. Okay, bye,” and then hang up the call after she responds (e.g. she says, “Oh okay. Bye,” or “Talk to you later”).
Not only will this leave her feeling good and thinking about in a more positive way (e.g. with respect and attraction), it also leaves her wanting more.
Then, the next time you call her, she will actually be happy to hear from you and she will be open to saying “Yes,” to meeting up with you in person to catch up (even if it’s just out of curiosity to see the new you for herself).
Another way to change your girlfriend’s mind is…
5. Make her feel like you are moving on
That way, she feels like the one being left behind now.
You’ve re-attracted her, but you aren’t trying to get her back.
Instead, you’re actually happy and having a good life without her.
For example: Some of the ways you can make her feel like you are moving on are…
- You post photos of yourself having fun with other people, including women, on social media. (BTW: If she’s unfriended you, then set your photos to ‘public’ where she will be able to see them anyway.).
- You don’t always respond to her texts, messages or calls right away and when you do, say things like, “Sorry I couldn’t talk to you/reply to you earlier, but I was out with friends/away for the weekend.”
- When you talk to her on the phone or meet up with her in person, make sure you sound happy, positive and like you’re having fun without her, rather than like you’re sitting at home feeling sad and missing her.
- You focus on your big goals in life and are making progress towards achieving them.
- You spend more time doing things that you neglected while in a relationship with her (e.g. play a sport, travel, pursue an old hobby).
- You don’t respond to her every beck and call, especially if she tries to test you by saying that she misses you or that she thinks she wants to try again (i.e. if you run to her every time she calls, she will feel more emotionally dominant than you and she won’t be able to respect you).
- You spend more time going out with your single friends (e.g. to clubs/bars/parties).
When she sees that you’re happy, confident and enjoying life by hanging out with new people and doing new things, she will naturally feel drawn to you and want to talk to you and see you in person again.
She will realize that you might be worth fighting for after all and when that happens, her guard will come down and she begins to open up to the idea of giving you another chance.
Where Guys Go Wrong When Trying to Get Another Chance With an Ex
If you want to soften your ex’s resolve and open her up to the idea of giving you another chance, you really do need to approach the ex back process in a different way this time around.
This is why you can’t afford to make any of the following attraction mistakes with her:
1. Pleading with her to change her mind
This approach might work once and sometimes even twice or three times.
However, eventually a woman will get fed up and begin thinking things like, “Does he think I’m a fool? I’ve listened to his pleading and begging so many times before and I’ve always given him the benefit of the doubt and a chance to prove to me that he will really change. However, he’s abused my good nature one time too many and I now see through his act. He thinks he can plead with me to change my mind and promise me that things will be different. Then, when I give him another chance, he goes right back to being the same jerk he was before like nothing ever happened. Well this time I’m not falling for it! I’ve given him too many chances already and I won’t give him another one.”
She then becomes aloof, distant and uncommunicative, because she doesn’t want to hear his pleas anymore.
So, if you’re serious about getting another chance with your ex, you can’t start pleading with her, because this is one of the tactics that worked before.
Whether you want to admit it to yourself or not, the truth is, it’s not going to work again.
You need to change your approach so your ex can see that you genuinely are a different man this time.
When she can see for herself that you really have changed in some of the ways that matter to her, her defenses will come down a little bit and she will then open up to at least interacting with you to see how she feels about the new you.
However, if your plan to get her back is to plead with her, don’t be surprised if she keeps pushing you away and saying, “Forget about it! I’ve given you too many chances already and I won’t give you another one.”
Another mistake to avoid is…
2. Pouring your heart out to her to hopefully make her feel pity
Right now, your ex is not going to care how you feel about her, because she doesn’t have feelings for you anymore.
So, even though you might be pouring your heart out to her and telling her how much you love her, how she’s the one for you and how bad you feel for hurting her again, she’s not going to care.
Here’s the thing…
A woman doesn’t like to feel like she’s being manipulated for feeling the way she’s currently feeling (i.e. unwilling to give him another chance), simply because you can’t cope without her.
Instead, she’s likely going feel annoyed with you for trying to make her feel pity for you, when she’s the one who is feeling hurt, betrayed and let down by you.
So, forget about making her feel sorry for you and focus instead on doing what really works, which is re-sparking her feelings of respect and attraction for you.
Another mistake to avoid is…
3. Using the same approach to getting her back as you did before
If you keep using the same approach to get your ex girlfriend back that you’ve used before (e.g. beg and plead with her, promise her that you really will change this time, apologize over and over again), she will most likely continue to reject you, because this time around, she’s not going to believe it.
Her guard will stay up and she won’t want to risk giving you another chance, because she can see that you haven’t really changed.
This is why, you need to first make some attractive changes to yourself and the way you interact with your ex, before you attempt to get her back (e.g. become more emotionally mature, stand up to her more when she’s being unreasonable or treating you badly, get clear on your goals in life and start working towards achieving them, treat her with respect, start pulling your weight).
You don’t have to become perfect to get her to open back up to the idea of giving you one more chance, but you do need to show her that you’ve already started to make changes to the things that matter to her.
When she can see for herself that this time around you’re 100% committed to being the man she needs you to be, she will naturally drop her guard and open up to interacting with you more to see where things go from there.
Another mistake to avoid is…
4. Not being able to give her a new attraction experience to pique her interest
This time around, to convince your ex to give you another chance, you need to make sure that you re-attract her in new and exciting ways.
If you try to get her back by saying and doing what you’ve always done before, she’s probably just going to keep saying, “No.”
For example: Some of the ways you can show your ex that you really are a new man and pique her interest enough to want to open back up to you again are:
- Showing her by way of your behavior, conversation style and actions that you have already fixed some of the issues that were turning her off before (e.g. if you were immature and childish before, you’re now more emotionally mature and focused in your life. If you placed your needs ahead of hers and took her for granted, you now understand that it’s up to you to create the kind of relationship dynamic that will get you what you want, while also making your woman feel loved, appreciated and understood).
- Reacting differently to what she says and does, (e.g. if she previously made you feel angry and stressed out when she created unnecessary drama and that caused you to lose your temper with her, you now relax and lovingly laugh at her attempts to get under your skin).
- Making her feel feminine and girly in your presence by thinking, talking, behaving and acting like a masculine man, rather than being extra nice to her, or allowing her to dominate you emotionally.
When she experiences those kinds of changes in you, she naturally drops her guard and opens up to being with you romantically and sexually.
Even if she tries to deny it to your face, she won’t be able to stop herself from feeling some respect and attraction for you again, for being man enough to change and improve so quickly and that’s when everything changes for the better.
She stops saying, “I’ve given you too many chances already and I won’t give you another one,” and she starts saying things like, “Okay, maybe we can try one more time, but this is your last chance.”
Fortunately, you won’t need another, because this chance is the one that will last forever.
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