If your girlfriend said that she just wants to be friends, don’t worry – you can change her mind.
You’ve got to start reactivating her feelings of respect and sexual attraction for you.
When you do that, she will naturally begin to reconnect with her old feelings of love for you.
Don’t try to get her back by begging, pleading or trying to convince her that you will change. You just need to start making her feel attracted to the new and improved version of you that is not making the same old communication mistakes as before.
A relationships between a man and a woman will vary slightly from couple to couple, but the successful relationships all have one thing in common: You can clearly see the sexual attraction between him and her.
There is a spark between them that never seems to die.
When a guy finds himself in the position where he’s saying, “My girlfriend said she just wants to be friends,” he automatically assumes that she’s just lost interest in being in a relationship.
Yet, what is almost always going on is that she has simply lost touch with her feelings of respect and attraction for her boyfriend.
Your girlfriend may have discussed or hinted at some of those things during the relationship, but if she is breaking up with you by saying that she just wants to be friends, it means that she’s trying to avoid having to explain what she really needs and wants from you.
A woman will rarely come out and say the REAL reason why she’s breaking up with a guy because she doesn’t want to be his teacher about what it means to be a man.
Rather than tell him the truth and risk, either getting into a big fight with him, or having him try to talk her out of it by saying that he will follow her advice, she will simply say something like, “I need some space to figure things out in my life, but I still want to be friends with you.”
This type of statement leads guys into a false sense of security. They believe that if they back off and just hang around being her nice, sweet “friend”, she’ll eventually “snap out of it” and she’ll want to date him again.
It most cases, she won’t. Why? If a woman doesn’t feel sexually attracted to you, she won’t want to be your girlfriend. It’s as simple as that.
Yes, she’ll want to be your friend, but without the sexual spark between you, she will never “snap out of it” and suddenly change her mind. What is more likely to happen is that while you’re sitting around being her “good friend” she’s going to be out there kissing, having sex, and dating other men – men who make her feel a strong sexual desire and attraction for them.
Right now your girlfriend might like you as a person, but she doesn’t want to be in a sexual relationship with you.
If you want that to change, and if you want her to desperately want to be your girlfriend, you are going to have to make her see you as a sexually attractive man, rather than a sweet old friend.
How do you do that?
1. Stop Being Mr. Nice Guy to Her
There is nothing wrong with being a good guy, treating a woman well and always having her best interests at heart.
That is a good thing, but its not enough for most women to remain happy in a long term relationship. Why? Niceness isn’t what maintains a woman’s sexual attraction for you in a relationship.
It’s nice, but it’s not enough.
Guys who use the nice guy approach are usually hoping that being nice to a woman and doing whatever she wants will make her want to go out with him if he’s single, or stay in a relationship with him if he’s gotten lucky enough to be in a relationship with her.
The truth is, when a guy finds himself saying, “My girlfriend said she just wants to be friends,” he is usually in that position because deep down he knows he DID get lucky when she agreed to go out with him.
His girlfriend either had no, or little, experience with men and relationships so she got into a relationship with him because it was nice to have a guy interested in her, or he was able to “hide” his insecurities behind a front of confidence and convince her to go out with him.
However, no matter how inexperienced a woman is, she will eventually wake up to the fact that she’s not feeling the way that she wants to feel when she’s with him.
She realizes that her feelings for him are more like those of a sister for her brother, rather than the burning sexual desire that she really wants to feel in a relationship with a man.
When she has this realization, she will say something like, “I just want to be friends” because she doesn’t want to hurt his feelings and she doesn’t want to have to teach him how to be the man she really needs.
Behind the scenes, she will secretly begin make herself available to meet a guy who can trigger more powerful feelings of sexual attraction inside her (e.g. she will use Tinder, online dating, go out partying with her girlfriends, etc).
When she finds a replacement guy, she will then have the courage to tell him that it’s over and that she doesn’t think it’s a good idea that they remain friends.
It’s tough for a nice, sweet, good intentioned guy to deal with, but that’s life.
If you think about how we’re raised as children, most of us are taught by our parents or teachers that we have to be nice if we’re going to make friends and be liked.
Many guys are told by their mothers, “If you want to get a nice girl to like you, you first have to be a nice boy.”
What then happens is that a lot of guys end up confusing the advice they got as a child by applying it to their adult life.
In today’s world, being Mr. Nice Guy is not enough. Of course, you don’t have become an asshole to make a woman feel attracted to you, but in a relationship you have to display the personality traits and behaviors that are going to make her see you as MORE than her friend.
If you want your girlfriend to desire you more than just a friend, you are going to have to re-awaken the passion inside of her and then focus on deepening the respect, love and attraction that she feels for you over time.
If you are unable to do that, then she doesn’t have to stay with you. It’s unfortunate that the world now works that way, but that’s how it goes.
In the past, men didn’t have to worry about being attractive to their woman after they got her into a relationship because people saved their virginity for marriage, got married and then stayed together for life, even if they were unhappy.
Not anymore. In today’s world, a guy has to be able to attract a woman when he meets her so he can have his choice with women, rather than accepting an incompatible woman and then trying to make it work with her.
He also needs to be able to deepen his woman’s feelings of love, respect and attraction as the relationship goes through each stage on the way to blissful love.
When you get your relationship to the stage of blissful love, both you and her will never just feel like “friends.”
You will be sexually attracted to her and she will be sexually attracted to you and that will never change.
2. Stop Trying to Make Her Like You and Start Making Her Feel Lucky to Be With You
This is a classic mistake that many guys who lack experience with women make.
When a guy doesn’t know how to make his girlfriend feel sexually attracted to him, he instead focuses all his energy on being the likeable, reliable shoulder she can lean on.
What he doesn’t realize is that this how a good friend would behave, but that’s not what a woman wants from her boyfriend.
Not that she doesn’t want him to be reliable or “there” for her when she needs him, but those are not the qualities that draw her to him and make her feel sexually attracted and turned on.
A woman will like most of the guys she meets as a person or as a friend, but she’s not going to feel sexually turned on by them.
However, the guy who can make her feel a deep sexual desire, and can then maintain and grow that desire over time, is the one who’s going to be in a long and lasting relationship with her.
If she’s telling you that she “just wants to be friends” it’s because you’re not making her feel lucky to have been “chosen” by you.
You have to make her feel so much desire for you as a man, that SHE is the one who is constantly afraid of being dumped by YOU.
3. Get Rid of Your Insecurities
Right now, your girlfriend has demoted you from “boyfriend” to “just friend/.”
However, you don’t have to get stuck there.
There are many things you can say and do right NOW that will change the way she sees you and make her want to be in a relationship with you again.
If the current way that you’ve been communicating with her has been turning her off, then chances are she’s going to avoid you or cut you off when you try to talk her into giving you another chance.
She’s going to behave coldly towards you and she’s going to say things like, “Stop. I told you I just want to be friends right now.”
However, when you change your communication style with her in a way that makes her feel attracted to you, she will naturally begin to think and behave differently.
She will become more open to being with you and the idea of being back in a relationship with you won’t seem like such a bad thing to her.
When you begin to fix your issues and improve yourself mentally and emotionally as a man, she will naturally become more open to the idea of being more than “just friends” with you.
By getting rid of any insecurities, like a lack of self confidence, jealousy, clinginess, etc., you will become a better man than you are right now and she will see that.
She will begin to doubt her decision to break up with you and she will want to experience the new you for herself.
It’s Not Too Late to Change How She Feels
As Dan Bacon explains in the video below, the love between a man and a woman doesn’t die; it simply gets pushed into the background.
You can almost always get a woman to reconnect with the love she felt for you, as long as you approach it by focussing on triggering her feelings of respect and attraction for you as a man.
People change how they feel about things and people all the time.
Just like she once fell in love with you and then lost touch with her feelings, she can also fall back in love with you again when you trigger her feelings of sexual attraction and respect for you as a man.
Don’t waste time by allowing her to get a lot of space from you with the whole “friends” idea.
She doesn’t want to be your friend and is simply saying that to get distance from you because she doesn’t feel enough respect and attraction for you to want you as her boyfriend. You need to change that, not be her friend.
If you wait too long to change how she feels about you, you run the risk of her meeting someone else who is going to make her feel the way she wants to feel.
Rather than wasting time saying, “My girlfriend said she just wants to be friends,” you’ve got to contact her right away and shock her (in a good way) out of her current state of mind by triggering her feelings of sexual attraction and respect for you in a way that she probably hasn’t felt in quite a while.
Your girlfriend wants to feel sexual attraction (not friendly affection) for you.
She wants to be with a guy who knows how to build up the sexual tension, so that when she’s with him everything feels exciting and exhilarating.
Are you able to be that guy around her these days? If not, are you willing to do what it takes to become and be that guy for her?
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