7 common reasons why a woman will say that to her boyfriend as an excuse to break up with him are that:
1. He lacked purpose and direction in life
Although being in love with a woman and having a great relationship with her is something that most men strive to achieve, it cannot be his main purpose in life.
Why?
A woman wants her man to love her, spend time with her and appreciate her, but not if it comes at the expense of him reaching his true potential as a man by following through on his biggest goals, dreams and ambitions.
So, when a man neglects all the other areas of his life (e.g. his goals, interests, friends, hobbies) to make her the main focus of his existence, a woman will gradually become annoyed by that and begin to show less affection and interest in him.
As a result, he will begin to behave in a clingy, needy, insecure way because he notices that she’s just not that into him anymore.
Her and the relationship is pretty much what his life is about.
He doesn’t really care that much about following through on the big goals, dreams and ambitions that he used to have because he’s with her now.
Yet, she doesn’t like that.
She feels as though he’s hiding from becoming a bigger and better man behind the safety and comfort of spending lots of time with her.
She then begins to wonder, “Why does he just want to spend time with me? Why does he become insecure if I’m not being loving and making him feel important to me? Isn’t the man supposed to be the more emotionally strong one in the relationship? I want a man I can look up to and rely on. I don’t want to be with a guy who needs me to make him feel okay about his place in the world and keep him safe and hidden from having to rise up and become a better man. I need a real man.”
Initially, she might try to encourage him to be more emotionally independent by suggesting that he start to follow through on his goals and dreams.
Yet, an insecure guy doesn’t usually like the sound of that kind of suggestion.
He may worry, “Is she trying to get me to spend more time on other things, so she can be free to find a new guy?” or, “Is she bored of me and wants me to become so busy working on my goals that we don’t have time for each other anymore and she can then use that as an excuse to break up with me?”
In his mind, he just wants to be with her and spend time with her.
Everything else in life is just annoying, pointless or a waste of time.
He just wants to be with her because when he is, he feels happy, safe, comfortable and warm.
Yet, if a woman realizes that she’s in a relationship with a guy who is never going to do anything without her supporting him, she will usually just break up with him and try to find a guy who is ready to become and be a real man, or a man who is already a real man.
Here’s the thing…
There are some women who like to be with a man who has nothing else going on in his life other than her (usually unattractive or insecure women), but the majority of women want to be in a balanced relationship with a man they can look up to and respect.
When a woman feels respect for her man, she will also feel sexually attracted to him, and her love for him will grow stronger over time.
On the other hand, if a woman feels like she can’t look up to her man because he is too insecure and emotionally weak to stand on his own two feet in life, she will lose respect for him and her feelings of sexual attraction and love will inevitably begin to fade.
Another reason why a woman will dump her guy for not being man enough is because…
2. He needed her to support him emotionally
Sometimes a guy becomes so emotionally dependent on his woman, that he can’t really do much without her support.
For example: He might ask her things like, “Do you think I can do it? What if I’m not good enough and I fail?” or “Will you come with me to the interview/meeting? You can stay in the car, but just knowing you’re there will make me feel better,” or “I can’t live life without you. I need you. Will you promise that you’ll never leave me?”
In his mind he may even be thinking, “Her and I are so connected. She’s my reason for living and everything I do in my life is because she’s there to support me. I don’t know what I’d do if I ever lost her. Being with her is the only thing that makes me happy.”
Yet, a guy being like that in a relationship with a woman is almost always a recipe for disaster. Why?
Women hate to feel responsible for a man’s emotional state in a relationship.
A woman wants her man to be emotionally strong, confident and forward moving in his life, with or without her support or reassurance.
Many guys don’t realize that, so they end up ruining a perfectly good relationship by turning her off with emotionally needy behavior.
Then, when a guy like that gets broken up with, he wonders, “What happened? My ex said that I wasn’t enough of a man for her and then dumped me. Why? What did I do wrong? What could I have done to be more of a man for her? What does she want? What will make her happy?”
Here’s the thing…
A woman can’t feel respect and attraction for a guy when she has to support him emotionally because he’s too emotionally sensitive or wimpy to handle life like a real man.
So, if you made that kind of mistake and want to get her back, you first have to prove to her that you’re now the man she always wanted you to be.
How can you do that?
By becoming emotionally independent and realizing that you don’t need her to be able to live a successful, happy and fulfilled life.
The truth is that you are more than capable of pursuing your goals, dreams and ambitions in life without her emotional support.
Yes, you want her there and it’s always nice to have a loving, supportive woman who stands behind you and encourages you to do better, but you don’t need her to do what needs to be done to succeed in your life.
When you get to that point in your thinking, you will automatically feel more confident, which will be attractive to her.
The emotionally independent you are from now on, the more that she will look at you as the kind of man that she can respect and feel proud to be associated with again.
Another reason why a woman will dump her guy for not being man enough is because…
3. He didn’t make her feel feminine and girly enough
Sometimes, a guy will get so comfortable in his relationship with a woman that he falls into the habit of treating her more like his friend or roommate, rather than like his feminine, sexy woman.
For example: A guy might stop noticing his woman’s efforts to look beautiful and attractive for him.
He may also get bored of doing the romantic things that originally kept the sexual spark alive between them (e.g. touch and kiss her in a way that showed his attraction for her, take her out on romantic dates, hold her in a way that made her feel girly in comparison to his masculinity).
Initially, a woman will usually put up with it by saying to herself, “It’s okay. He’s a great guy. Besides, all relationships don’t remain as exciting as they used to be in the beginning, right? It’s to be expected that some of the original thrill will wear off. I’m sure that this is just the way it’s supposed to be.”
Yet, over time, she will notice that couples who’ve been together longer than her and him don’t have that problem.
Other couples have managed to maintain a clear masculine/feminine dynamic in their relationship, where the man is clearly the man and the woman is clearly the woman.
…and they are so happy.
When she looks at what she has with her guy, she realizes that they’ve become more like friends, roommates or worse, like girlfriends.
In other words, he has ended up acting a lot like her and letting go of much of his masculinity.
He’s become too soft, wimpy and feminine in his approach to being a guy.
…and it’s turning her off.
She then decides to either threaten him with a break up in the hopes that he changes, or cheats on him to end the relationship in quick, but messy way or just breaks up with him and tries to move on after that.
Here’s the thing…
Modern women often have a difficult time admitting the truth about what they really in a man.
It’s hard for them to say, “I like a man who doesn’t act like me in any way. He’s masculine, raw and unafraid. He doesn’t need me to be gentle with him to feel confident about himself. He can laugh at me if I tease him and try to make him feel uncomfortable or insecure. He doesn’t take my crap so seriously. I like that in a man. A man who stands on his own two feet and doesn’t need me to be all nice, sweet and gentle for him to continue feeling strong enough to stand up and be the man he is.”
Women don’t want to say that because most guys will get the wrong idea and take it too far (i.e. start treating women badly).
That’s why women just dump guys who don’t yet know how to be a man, rather than having to explain everything in detail.
It’s too much of a risk for a woman to give a guy the secrets to a woman’s heart because in most cases, the guy will take it too far.
She just wants a man who knows how to be the kind of masculine man that women really want.
When a woman is around a man like that (you may have seen it in action), she smiles, giggles and becomes girly.
She loves it because she gets to be feminine around him, in response to his very masculine energy and approach.
Some guys might think, “Well, I don’t want to be more emotionally masculine. I just want to be me, even if I am emotionally sensitive. Why can’t she like me for that? Why do men have to be confident? It’s not fair.”
It’s kind of like a heavily overweight woman saying, “Why can’t men just like me for my personality? Why do women have to look good for men? It’s not fair.”
Sure, some men will like her for personality and even find her obesity attractive, but the majority won’t.
Likewise, some women will like a guy who lacks masculinity (i.e. he’s an emotional wimp, gives a woman too much power in a relationship), but the majority of women won’t.
The fact is, the less feminine and girly that a woman feels around her guy, the less sexual attraction she feels for him.
It literally kills her sexual desire and as a result, it makes her start to question whether she should actually be in a romantic relationship with him or not.
By the way…
I know that some people get offended when weight is brought up.
Additionally, some guys assume that if they are overweight, a woman won’t like them or feel attracted to them.
So, here’s a very brief lesson on attraction:
A woman’s physical appearance is to a man, what a man’s personality is to a woman.
You find her looks sexy.
She finds your personality sexy.
Of course, men and women can feel attracted to personality or looks, but the way that nature works is that men are more attracted to looks and women are more attracted to personality.
Okay, back to getting your ex back…
If you want to get your ex back after she dumped you for not being man enough for her, make sure that every time you interact with her from now on (on the phone and in person), you’re sparking her feelings of attraction for you and making her feel girly and feminine, rather than being like a nice, sweet, platonic friend to her.
Being nice, sweet and friendly isn’t going to make her wet.
You’ve got to man up and start being more confident, ballsy and masculine if you want her to feel a spark with you.
The more you spark her feelings of desire inside, the less she will hold onto the idea that you’re not man enough for her.
Even if she tries to stop it, she will automatically feel a strong, renewed sense of respect and attraction for you and begin to feel drawn to you again in a way that feels good to her (i.e. sexually attracted, aroused).
Another reason why a woman will dump her guy for not being man enough is because…
4. He cried to her when life got tough
Sometimes a guy will think that pouring his heart out to his woman, telling her all about his problems and worries and turning to her for emotional support time and time again is actually something she wants him to do.
So, let’s get this straight…
There’s nothing wrong with a guy talking about his problems with his woman, but if he continuously whines, complains and falls to pieces around her (i.e. like a woman or a boy would), her respect for him will begin to diminish.
What is acceptable to a woman is when a man talks to her about his problems and then goes into solution mode.
For example: “I lost my job today because they are restricting the company. Not to worry. I will use this as an opportunity to try to get an even better job now with a new company. I might even try to take on a bigger role if I can get it.”
She can then look up to him and respect him for handling life like a man.
She doesn’t have to take on the role of reassuring him that everything will be okay, patting him on the back and trying to make him feel confident again.
He’s already got things under control.
Yes, he might be disappointed that it happened, but because he’s a man, he doesn’t dwell on the disappointed and look for pity.
Instead, he feels the disappointment and then gets on with a solution, which then makes him feel confident, hopeful and happy about the direction he is now heading.
That way, his woman can relax and know that her man has things under control.
She can be his girl and feel feminine around him, which results in her feeling sexually attracted to him.
Here’s the thing…
Even though a modern woman is usually perfectly capable of taking care of herself, she still wants to be able to depend on her man to be the more emotionally strong one in the relationship.
If he can’t give her the support that she needs and instead expects her to hold his hand and support him emotionally because he can’t cope with the inevitable problems that arise in life (e.g. he has a disagreement at work, he loses some money in a bad investment, he fails an exam, he needs to repair his car, he has an issue with a friend or family member) she just won’t be able to respect him.
If he cries to her when life gets tough, it will further ruin her respect, attraction and love for him.
As a result, she will eventually gets to the point where she dumps him for not being man enough for her.
So, to get an ex back after crying to her, a guy needs to let her see that he’s changed (via the way he thinks, talks and behaves) and that he’s become an emotionally stronger man since the break up (e.g. he’s more confident and self-assured now, he can handle his problems on his own without falling apart, he isn’t an emotionally sensitive guy anymore).
Then, when she sees for herself that he’s no longer at the same level he was at when she broke up with him, it becomes more difficult for her to hang on to her negative opinion of him because he’s no longer the guy she remembers.
Another reason why a woman will dump her guy for not being man enough is because…
5. He needed her more than she needed him
A woman does want her man to want her, appreciate her and love her, but not if it always feels like he needs her more than she needs him.
Most women want to feel like they are lucky to have their man (e.g. because he’s so confident that he could easily attract another women) and feel proud to be his woman (e.g. because he’s rising through the level of his true potential as a man by following through on his biggest goals, dream and ambitions in life).
If a woman finds a man like that, she sticks with him.
Yet, if a woman finds herself with a man who feels luckier to have her and isn’t making her feel proud, she will start to feel as though she’s making a mistake in being with him.
Another reason why a woman will dump her guy for not being man enough is because…
6. He let her wear the pants in the relationship
Sometimes a guy will make the mistake of thinking that in order to be happy in a relationship, a woman has to be the one who wears the pants, makes all the decisions and is generally in charge.
So, to please his girlfriend (fiancé or wife) he might continuously place her needs ahead of his own because he thinks that’s what she wants.
Yet, he is wrong.
Of course, it is true that some women like to wear the pants in a relationship, but most women don’t.
The ones who do wear the pants end up feeling so turned off by the wimpy, weak behavior of their guy that they withhold sex.
He only gets it if she says, “Yes” and even still, he has to be on his best behavior the whole time, or else she will change her mind.
If he tries to initiate sex, she rejects him almost 100% of the time and he has to live with the fact that he can’t even get laid in his own relationship.
That’s not a fun way to live life as a man.
It’s also not what women want to experience either.
A woman wants to be able to respect her guy’s position as the man and then naturally submit to him sexually and romantically.
Of course, women don’t go around admitting that in public because they fear it will make them look weak.
Yet, it’s what makes a woman the happiest and most in love when in a relationship with a man.
100 years ago, women had to put up with being in an unhappy relationship or marriage.
Yet, today’s women can do whatever they want and in most cases, they won’t settle for being in a relationship with a guy who isn’t enough of a man for her.
She simply gets way too much influence from TV shows, music videos and Hollywood movies that tell her it’s okay to dump her guy if he doesn’t make her feel the way she wants to feel when she’s with him (i.e. feminine, girly, in love).
So, even if a woman initially enjoys testing her guy by wearing the pants in the relationship and bossing him around, it will get boring eventually.
She will lose so much respect and attraction for him that she begins to wonder, “Why did I ever hook up with him in the first place? Why am I sticking with this relationship? He’s obviously not a real man. I’m wasting my time with him.”
She then dumps him.
In many cases, a guy assumes that if she doesn’t like his nice, sweet guy approach, then she must want a bad boy.
He then tries to get her back by acting bossy and overly domineering when he interacts with her, in the hopes that she will think, “Wow, he’s so manly now. I think we should get back together again.”
Yet, she now feels turned off by him for being a bully to her.
Remember: A woman wants to be with a guy who knows how to confidently lead the way, without being an asshole about it.
A guy who naturally takes charge and allows her to relax into feeling totally feminine around him, rather than being overly domineering or bossy about things..
A guy who makes her feel loved, appreciated and respected, but also doesn’t put up with her BS just to spend time with her.
That leads me to the next point…
7. He puts up with her bad treatment of him just so he can be with her
When a guy doesn’t believe in himself and in his value to his woman, or to women (in general), he’ll usually do anything to hold on to the woman he’s got.
He’ll feel so lucky to be in a relationship with her that he will allow himself to be a pushover around her (e.g. by placing her needs ahead of his own despite her bad behavior, saying nothing when she disrespects him or treats him badly, being extra nice to her when she throws a tantrum, being very generous towards her, helping her in any way he can).
Yet, rather than think to herself, “Wow, I’m so lucky to have such a great guy who keeps being so nice, giving and sweet even though I’m being so selfish, cold and mean towards him. I need to stick with him for life,” a woman usually feels annoyed by him instead.
Why?
Women are simply not attracted to weak, wimpy men who let themselves get walked all over by a woman.
Why?
It’s a primal instinct of a woman to align herself with a man who won’t get bullied or taken advantage of by mean, selfish people out there in the world.
So, if she notices that she can walk all over him and he just puts up with it because that’s all he thinks he deserves, then she will naturally feel turned off by him at an instinctive level.
Being a man is not about being very macho, aggressive or domineering.
It’s just about not being a wimp in any way.
Women are naturally attracted to strong men who have kind of confidence and emotional strength that makes her feel protected and safe in a relationship.
So, if you want to get your ex back, you must get her to experience (on a phone call or in person) the new and improved version of you that is no longer self-doubting and insecure.
You’re emotionally strong now.
Whatever she says to you, no matter how she treats you, how she tests you, how she behaves, she can see that you always react and respond in an emotionally strong way now.
She experiences your emotional strength and can’t stop herself from feeling respect, attraction and love for you again.
When that happens, she looks at you as being man enough for her and wants to give you another chance to experience her new, more desirable feelings for you.
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