Sometimes a woman is lying when she says that and sometimes she is telling the truth.
To help you understand what applies to your situation, here 5 common reasons why a woman will say that she needs space, but still loves you:
1. She wants some space to see if she misses you
When a relationship becomes boring and stagnant (e.g. because the guy has stopped building on his woman’s feelings of respect, attraction and love for him and has become like a neutral friend to her instead), a woman might decide to distance herself from him for a while to see how she really feels.
For example: She may think, “I’m confused. I still love him, but I’m not sure if it’s the kind of love that will last for a lifetime, or the kind of love that I should be experiencing. I don’t feel butterflies in my stomach when I’m around him. I feel kind of numb. Maybe if I take some time apart from him, things will become clearer to me and I will realize that he is a great guy and I’m lucky to have him. Then, if really miss him, it will give me the motivation I need to put in the effort to make our relationship work from now on. On the other hand, if I realize that I enjoy being single and that I don’t miss him that much (or at all), it will be the sign that I’ve needed all along that I should move on and find myself another guy who makes me feel strong surges of love, respect and attraction for him. I want to have that feeling of never wanting to leave because I love the man so much. That’s what I want. I don’t know if I have that with my current guy.”
She then asks you for space and waits to see how she feels.
It could turn out to be a good thing, or a bad thing, depending on how she feels.
If you want it to turn out to be a good thing, then use the time apart to change and improve some of the things about you that may have been turning her off.
For example: You might…
- Focus more on your own goals and ambitions in life and make some progress in those areas, so that you’re not so emotionally dependent on her and the relationship for your sense of identity anymore.
- Become more confident about your attractiveness to her, so you no longer feel, think, behave, talk or act in insecure ways around her anymore.
- Get ready to flirt with her and make her feel sexually attracted to you during conversations, so you no longer feel neutral around each other. Get ready to create a new spark with her.
- Understand that most women feel deeply turned off when a man is unable to dominate them in a relationship (i.e. he’s too much of a yes man, gives in to her demands out of a fear of losing her, can’t handle it when she puts him under some pressure by pretending to be in a bad mood, sees her as being the leader of the relationship and just wants to submit and follow her, gets angry at her when she is in a mood because he doesn’t know how else to handle it).
These are very subtle things that have nothing to do with a man’s physical attractiveness and all to do about his emotional attractiveness.
Being emotionally attractive is the key to getting your ex back.
Watch this to understand how it works…
So, after giving your ex 3 to 7 days of space where you used that time to make yourself more emotionally attractive, get her on a phone call and arrange a meet up.
At the meet up, focus on making her feel a strong, renewed sense of respect and attraction for the new and improved you, so she feels happy to be interacting with you again.
When she feels that way, she can then start to think things like, “Well, I guess I have my answer now. The time apart was exactly what I needed to show me that he’s the man for me. I feel it now. I want him. I don’t want to lose him.”
As a result, she drops her guard and opens back up to the idea of being a couple again.
Another reason why a woman will say she needs space, but still loves you is that…
2. She loves you as a person, but not as a boyfriend or lover
When a woman stops feeling sexual attraction for her guy, she will begin to lose interest in being with him in a romantic, committed relationship.
To get out of the relationship without a fight, she may then say something along the lines of, “I still love you, but I need some space,” as a way of letting him down gently and giving herself some time to find a replacement guy.
A guy might then think, “Well, I suppose I can give her some space. After all, she says she still loves me, so it’s fine. She’ll take some time apart, realize that she misses me and we can then get back together. Maybe it will be good for us.”
Yet, here’s the thing…
A woman will rarely get back with a boyfriend who she no longer has sexual feelings for.
Instead, she will usually keep stalling for more and more time apart (i.e. “I still need time to think” or, “I still don’t know. Give me a bit more time”) while she actively focuses on finding herself a replacement guy.
Then, when her boyfriend eventually asks something like, “Okay, so we’ve been apart for weeks now, have you had enough time to think? Do you miss me? Do you want me back? If so, when can we get back together?” she can respond by saying, “Look…I’m sorry okay. I really do love you, but not in a boyfriend-girlfriend way. I love you as a friend, that’s it. I’m sorry. Also, I have something to tell you. Don’t get mad, but I recently met someone new and I want to be with him. We’re really happy together. You and I can still be friends though. I asked him about that and he’s okay with it. He doesn’t mind. So, how about it? Friends?”
Meanwhile, she’s having sex with him, falling in love and you’re just a friend?
No thanks.
If you want to prevent that kind of thing from happening, you need to make sure that you don’t just sit back and wait for her to hopefully come back to you when she’s ready.
Instead, take control of the situation by interacting with her and making her feel sexual attraction and romantic love for you once again.
Use every interaction you have with her (e.g. on the phone, or in person) to make her smile, laugh and feel good to be around you, so that when you’re apart, she can’t stop thinking about you and wanting you back.
That is what works on women.
You’ve got to actively make her feel sexually attracted and aroused by your new approach to conversations and interactions.
Another common reason why a woman says she needs space but still loves you is because…
3. She’s trying to create some distance between you and her before she fully breaks up with you
Sometimes a woman is unsure about how to break up with a guy in a way that will be easy for the both of them.
So, rather than saying something like, “It’s over between us and I don’t want to be your girlfriend anymore,” she will say that she needs space, as a way of getting out of the relationship without any drama.
She might also tell her guy that she needs him to respect her wishes and not contact her at all (i.e. no calls or text and social media messages), until she contacts him first.
In that way, she hopes that if he doesn’t hear from her for a long time, he might get bored of waiting and move on, or find a new a new woman and focus on her instead.
As a result, she doesn’t have to deal with actually breaking up with him.
However, if your girlfriend is saying, “I need space, but I still love you,” one thing is for sure…
It’s because you haven’t been making her feel the way that she really wants to feel in a relationship (e.g. respectful, attracted, in love, like a feminine woman).
This is why you need to focus on changing how your girlfriend feels, by making some adjustments to the way you think, talk, behave and interact with her from this point onwards.
When you change the way you interact with her in a way that makes her feel surges of respect and sexual attraction for you again, her feelings about you and the relationship will automatically change.
She can then get to the point where she thinks, “I feel different all of a sudden. Now, the idea of being apart from him doesn’t feel right to me anymore. In fact, I’m even worried that if I take too much space for myself, I might lose him to another woman. I’d better stop saying that I want space and get back with him now, before he gets tired of me and moves on.”
Then, getting back into a new, improved relationship that feels way better for the both of you (i.e. because it’s based on mutual respect, attraction and love now) is something that happens naturally.
Another common reason why a woman will say she needs space, but still loves you is because…
4. She feels like being in a relationship with you is too stressful
In some cases, a guy doesn’t know how he should behave in a relationship with a woman (e.g. because he didn’t have a strong, male role model when growing up, is inexperienced with relationships, keeps making the same mistakes in relationships and never learns new methods that actually work with modern women).
He then behaves in ways that he thinks are attractive to women, but actually turns them off.
For example: He might…
- Text and call her numerous times a day because he wants her to see how committed he is. Yet, she finds it suffocating and never gets the chance to miss him.
- Spend all his spare time with her and stops following through on his goals or ambitions. Yet, she sees that as childish because she knows that a real man will follow through on his goals and reach for his true potential as a man.
- Know every detail of her day (e.g. where she’s going, who she’s with and what she’s doing, what she’s feeling). Yet, she ends up feeling turned off by how clingy he is and how there’s no mystery in their relationship.
As result, she doesn’t feel any excitement in the relationship, or any need to try hard to impress him.
She knows that he is 100% focused on her, which makes her feel smothered by the relationship.
Alternatively, the relationship stresses her out because they are always getting into fights, or he is always sulking, or he’s too emotionally sensitive and so on.
So, rather than continuing to deal with the stress of being in a relationship with a guy like that, a woman will say something along the lines of, “I still love you, but I need space,” as a way of getting away from him, so she can then focus on herself and have space to breathe and figure out what she wants to do with her life.
Another common reason why a woman might say that she needs space, but still loves you is that…
5. She’s trying to avoid making you angry, or causing you to become desperate if she says, “It’s over” and just walks away from you completely
Even if a guy is a really good man who would never do anything to hurt his ex, a woman has a natural instinct to protect herself from potentially getting hurt physically, or having to deal with a boyfriend who threatens her and wants to get revenge.
So, rather than saying, “It’s over. Leave me alone. I don’t want you anymore,” and risk him reacting in an overly emotional way (e.g. getting angry, verbally abusive or even violent, or he breaks down, begs, pleads, cries and even refuses to let her leave until she agrees to give him another chance), she says something like, “I still love you, but I need some space. Okay?”
She’s hoping by saying that to him, it will lessen the chance of him taking it badly and she will be safe.
He might then also back off for a little while, giving her the time she needs to find a replacement guy or get herself into a situation where she is protected.
Then, by the time her ex realizes that, “I still love you, but I need space,” actually means, “I don’t feel enough respect, attraction and romantic love for you to want to stay in a relationship with you,” she will have already found herself a replacement man or got herself into a situation where her boyfriend can’t control her (e.g. move in with some friends, tell them that she is scared, ask for protection, etc).
She can then tell her ex boyfriend, “I’ve had time to think about it and I want to stick with my decision. I’m sorry, but it’s over.”
Where Guys Go Wrong When a Woman Asks For Space
Don’t worry though.
If your girlfriend is saying she needs space, but still loves you, it usually means you have a good chance of getting her back pretty quickly.
To get her back, you have to make sure that from now on, you think, act and behave in ways that will re-attract her and make her not want to be apart from you for even one more day.
How?
Try to avoid making the following mistakes:
1. Not improving your ability to attract her while you give her space
Sometimes, when a woman says she needs space, a guy assumes that if he gives her the time apart that she’s asking for, then everything will work itself out.
As a result, he essentially sits around waiting for her, but doesn’t do anything else to improve his ability to attract her when she comes back.
If she then does contact him after a few weeks of space, he makes it easy for her to permanently walk away because he’s the same guy as before.
Nothing about him has changed or improved.
He’s stuck at the same level that he was at when she asked for space (e.g. he’s still not ballsy enough to stand up for himself when she is talking down to him, he still treats her more like a friend than a desirable woman, he still feels insecure about making decisions without her support, he still looks at her as being the main purpose of his life, rather than being a man who has big goals and ambitions in life and is making progress on that while also loving his woman).
If her ex is still as the same level that he was at when she left him, it makes her lose even more respect and attraction for him.
She might then say something like, “I’ve had time to think about things and I realize that I don’t want to be in a serious relationship with anyone right now. Please don’t feel bad. It’s not you, it’s me,” as a way of breaking up with him gently and trying to make him feel as though it’s her fault and not his.
So, if you don’t want to lose your girlfriend, don’t waste the time apart.
Use the time apart to quickly improve your ability to attract her and make her feel intense surges of respect, sexual attraction and romantic love for you.
Then, contact her after a week (anything longer than that is a waste of time) and show her that you’re a new and improved man (e.g. more confident, emotionally masculine, emotionally mature, more charismatic, more interesting, more appealing).
The more that you can re-attract her in new and exciting ways, the more likely it is that she will say something like, “I’ve missed you, you know? Seeing you again has made me realize how good we used to be. I think I’ve had enough space. I now know that I love you and I want us to try again.”
Another mistake to avoid making is…
2. Not understanding the subtle ways in which you were turning her off
In most cases, a guy usually knows the obvious reasons why a woman isn’t happy in her relationship with him (e.g. they’re having financial problems, she doesn’t like his friends, she wants to settle down and he doesn’t or visa versa, they keep getting into fights).
Yet, there are also many, more subtle things that turn a woman off and lead to a break up.
These are things that a woman rarely tells her man because it’s either too complicated to explain, too personal and would hurt him, or it would cause him to promise to change those exact same things to hopefully keep her or get her back.
So, rather than getting into all the subtle details, she asks for space as a way of starting the break up process.
She distances herself from him and the relationship and waits to see whether he’s going to change and improve in the subtle ways that matter to her.
If he does improve and change, she will feel a renewed sense of respect and attraction for him and she will usually give him another chance.
However, if he doesn’t change because he’s still clueless about the subtle turn offs, she will ask for more and more space until finally it becomes clear to him that she’s never coming back.
So, if you don’t want this to happen to you, it’s essential that you uncover the real, secret reasons your girlfriend is asking for space (e.g. You’re too hesitant around her and she wants a more manly, confident guy. When she tests your confidence by being difficult or getting into a mood, you lose your cool and start getting angry at her or sulking about the fact that she isn’t being nice, sweet and loving. You get nervous around other guys, or generally seem anxious and unsure of yourself in social situations).
There are so many subtle turn offs and it’s absolutely that you identify the ones that apply to you.
In my program, Get Your Ex Back Super System, I identify 70+ subtle turn offs and explain how you can quickly change, adjust or improve to re-attract your ex girlfriend.
When you know what to change, you can then change the things that truly matter to her, rather than offering her changes that she’s not even interested in (e.g. offering to treat her even better than you have before, when being treat well enough isn’t not even what she’s turned off by).
Another mistake to avoid making is…
3. Patiently waiting as she keeps extending the amount of space and time she needs away from you
Sometimes a guy thinks that he’s being a good boyfriend (or husband) if he gives his woman all the space she asks for.
He might wait for weeks or even months as his woman continues to say things like, “I’m not ready yet. I need more space, but I do still love you. Please be patient.”
In the meantime, she uses the time apart to get over him.
Then, he is eventually shocked to discover that rather than working her way back to him, she has been moving on and is possibly in a new relationship already.
Here’s the thing…
If you want to keep your girlfriend rather than lose her, then don’t fall for her, “I need space” routine.
The more time away from you that she has where you’re not sparking her feelings of sexual and romantic attraction, the more likely it is she will get over you.
That’s just the truth.
Time away from someone that you’re not attracted to, doesn’t make you feel attracted to them.
Time away from someone that you are attracted to, does make you miss them and want them back.
Big difference.
So, if your girlfriend isn’t attracted to you anymore, you need to use any interactions that you have with her to reawaken her feelings for you.
If you don’t, she won’t really be missing you and will feel compelled to start meeting new guys to find new love.
Another mistake to avoid making is…
4. Appearing sad, rejected and lost without her
Sometimes a guy will use social media as a way of letting his girlfriend know how lonely, sad and rejected he has been feeling since they decided to take some time apart.
Secretly, he’s hoping that when she sees that he’s falling apart without her, she will feel pity for him, feel guilty and want to be with him to make him feel better.
Yet, rather than thinking, “Wow, it’s so romantic to see my guy falling to pieces without me. It’s just like in the movies. I feel so flattered. I see now that I’m so lucky to have a guy who needs me so much. I think I’ve had more than enough time apart. It’s time for me to be with him again,” she will lose even more respect for him for being so emotionally weak without her.
She may then decide that he’s not the kind of guy she wants to be in a relationship with anymore and rather than try to work things out with him, she will focus on getting over him and moving on.
So, if you want your girlfriend back, make sure that you show her that even though you still care about her and want her back, you don’t need her back.
You’re not falling apart without her.
When she can see that you’re confident, happy and emotionally fulfilled even though she’s not in your life, she will naturally and automatically feel respect and attraction for you.
Even just from that alone, her guard will come down a little.
However, there are many other ways that you can make her feel a renewed sense of respect and attraction for you.
There are things that you can do right now.
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