If you’re asking, “Should I be worried that my girlfriend wants to have a girls night out?” you need to understand that the answer is not a simple “yes” or “no.”
Every relationship is different, and every woman is different.
Women today are a lot more confident and independent than ever before, and they don’t have to live their lives based on what their man will “allow” them to do.
The modern woman isn’t dependent on a man to protect her, provide for her or entertain her, which means she can choose to do whatever she wants, like have interests, hobbies and even the occasional girls night out, without having to ask her man for permission or approval.
That being said, when a woman is in a loving relationship with a guy, she will naturally take his feelings into consideration before she does something without him. She will generally prefer to spend most of her time with him and doing things together. However, that’s not to say that she’ll want to live in his pocket either.
In a relationship it’s normal and healthy for each person to have their own interests, hobbies and friends.
So, should you be concerned if your girlfriend wants to have a girls night out?
It depends…
Are You Letting Your Insecurities Come Between You?
In a relationship, you have to give the other person your full trust and let them take care of it.
A person can never fully trust another human being, but they just have to give their trust to others to make their relationships and society function. Without trust, a relationship simply will not function harmoniously and it will eventual fall apart.
At the same time, a lack of trust in a relationship breeds insecurity, anger and frustration and it ruins the chance for the love between a guy and his girlfriend (or fiancé or wife) to grow and mature.
If right now you’re saying, “My girlfriend wants to have a girls night out,” and it’s something that’s really bothering you, you have to take a deeper look at yourself and your relationship.
For example, if your girlfriend wants to have a girls night out because she’s going to a girlfriend’s “girls only” birthday party, to a friend’s wedding shower, why are you feeling so upset and insecure about it?
Quite often, guys who feel that they got lucky when they scored with their girlfriend feel threatened when she wants to have interests outside of the relationship. This is often because he lacks the confidence in himself and in his ability to get another (even better) girlfriend than her, if she decides she wants to break up with him.
Here are some common mistakes that guys make when they lack confidence in themselves, which actually end up ruining their relationship and causing a break up.
Mistake #1: “You’re my first, my last, my everything…”
Guys who have little or no experience with women, often get their “romantic” advice from the movies, TV, or songs. Women also give men “mixed signals” because they’ll often say, “Oh wow! Listen to the lyrics of that song; I wish I could meet a guy who would say I’m his first, his last and his everything!”
However, in real life, although a woman will genuinely appreciate it when her man gives her his attention, affection and love, she doesn’t appreciate it if he goes overboard, becomes clingy and needy and ends up making her the only focus in his life.
When a guy stops having a life outside of his relationship with his girlfriend, (i.e. gives up his friends, interests or hobbies) and instead spends every spare minute living for her – whether that’s actually spending his time being with her, or doing things to please her, like running errands for her, doing shopping or cooking or cleaning for her, helping her study, etc., – rather than think to herself, “Wow! What a cool guy! I’m so lucky to have him,” a woman will feel suffocated.
Generally speaking, women today are repelled by needy, clingy men. Why? Women are attracted to the strength in men and repelled by weakness.
A guy who uses his girlfriend as an excuse to hide from his true potential in life doesn’t make her feel special. Instead she feels like she has to “mother” him and guide him and hold his hand because he can’t face his fears (i.e. life) by himself.
Ask yourself, “Why does it bother me that my girlfriend wants to have a girls night out?”
Could it be that you’re using your relationship to hide from life? Are you afraid to become a bigger and better man and just want to hide from the world behind her and a relationship? Do you feel insecure about her attraction for you as a man?
Consider that this behavior could be pushing your girlfriend away. Even if she’s the most loving, loyal and trustworthy woman, if you behave this way every time she attempts to have some “alone” time, you WILL end up pushing her away.
Mistake #2: “Do you love me?”
Just as it’s a big mistake for a guy to make his girlfriend the center of his world, it is equally unwise to expect her to give up her interests, friends, ambitions and social lifestyle for him.
Guys who make this mistake often allow their insecurity to get in the way of their relationship because they end up becoming overly-protective and jealous of their girlfriends.
A guy like this lacks confidence in himself, he lives in constant fear that if he lets his girlfriend out of his sight, even for a moment, she will suddenly realize that she can do much better than him and she will dump him.
This is why a guy like this will often ask his girlfriend, “Do you love me as much as I love you?” or “You know I would never be able to live without you, don’t you?” or “I feel physically sick when I’m apart from you. Why would you want to do that to me?”
Although a woman will feel respect and attraction for a man who shows that he cares for her and wants to be around her, she doesn’t need him to focus on her 24/7.
If you always need to be around your girlfriend, to the point where you expect her to give up her life for you, she will feel that you’re mentally and emotionally weak and that she has to take care of you emotionally, which is a huge turn off for women.
You must understand that even though you love your girlfriend, you don’t “own” her. You can’t control what she does because that will only make her lose respect, love and attraction for you.
Are There Deeper Problems in the Relationship?
It’s perfectly normal for your girlfriend to want to have a girls night out occasionally. In fact, you should encourage her to do this because if you’re the kind of man who knows how to build and maintain the attraction between you, when she goes out without you she will realize how lucky she is to have you in her life.
However, if your girlfriend wants to have a girls night out ALL the time, then there could be a deeper reason.
Ask yourself:
- Are you making her feel the way that she really wants to feel when she’s with you (e.g. attracted to you, respectful towards you, proud to be your girlfriend)?
- Are you growing and maintaining the love, respect and attraction between you and her?
- Are you allowing your insecurities (like clinginess, neediness, jealousy, etc.) to come between you?
When a woman is happy in her relationship she will not look outside of the relationship for fun and excitement. Even if your girlfriend isn’t looking for a replacement guy right now, if you don’t fix your issues and improve the behaviors that are turning her off, she WILL eventually look for another guy.
Be the Best Man You Can Be
It’s up to you to figure out if, right now, there’s a serious problem in your relationship, or if you’re allowing your insecurities to cause you to make a big deal out of something normal.
Rather than sit around saying, “My girlfriend wants to have a girls night out,” and letting it bother you, you need to get clear on what things you and your girlfriend can go to together and alone and why.
Unless there’s a good reason why you don’t trust her, in which case you should ask yourself, “Why am I still dating a woman that I don’t trust?” you should give your girlfriend your trust and let her enjoy herself with her girlfriends once in a while.
Not only will this make her respect and love you more, she’ll also feel lucky to have you as her boyfriend.
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