Most people go into marriage assuming that it’s going to last forever.
It certainly feels that way on the wedding day anyway.
It seemed like the start of your life together and that nothing could ever get in the way of it.
Yet, as you are most likely aware, approximately 50% of marriages end in divorce these days.
Sometimes divorce happens because a couple has fallen into a dull routine and has forgotten about building on the love, respect and attraction between them.
As a result, even though they do love each other in a friendly or respectful kind of way, or love each other as parents of any children they may have, they aren’t ‘in love’ anymore.
They are just existing around each other.
The spark has died, or is barely there anymore.
When a husband finds himself saying, “My wife wants to leave me,” it’s usually a very stressful time in his life.
Everything he has built with her could potentially be broken up and taken away from him now.
He might have to face up to the shame and embarrassment of being a divorcee.
His family and friends might pity him, or secretly be happy to see that he wasn’t able to make a marriage work, but they have.
His children might stay with their mother and he may end up having to try to date again and start all over again with a new woman.
For most husbands, that just isn’t what they want to have to do.
He just wants to keep his family together, have his wife love him and not lose everything they’ve built together as a couple.
He also doesn’t want to lose the future they envisioned having together.
Unfortunately, a lot of men mistakenly assume that the love, respect and attraction in a relationship will remain alive for life because things felt so good at the start.
A man may feel as though they are meant to be together, or that they really are a good match, so the marriage should just work.
Yet, that’s not how a relationship works.
To make a marriage last for life, you have to make sure that the approach you use in the relationship causes both you and her to fall more in love with each other over time, while also keeping the attraction alive.
You can’t just hope that the marriage will stay together because things used to be good.
You also can’t just expect that a woman will stick around because it’s the ‘right thing to do.’
The world has changed.
In the past, a wife had to stick with her husband for life even if he mistreated her because it was shameful to get divorced, or in earlier times, very difficult to get divorced legally.
Unfortunately, that’s not the case anymore and TV shows, movies and pop singers have made the idea of affairs, divorce and starting a new life almost seem like a cool thing to do.
Likewise, it’s usually a very straightforward process in most countries to get a divorce.
It’s very costly with the legal fees and other expenses, but divorce is allowed and supported by governments and legal services.
So, it’s not something that is very difficult to do these days.
Additionally, in most cases, women are the ones to initiate divorce.
“Almost 70% of divorces are initiated by women.” American Sociological Association (ASA)
So, in today’s world where divorce is easier and sometimes even encouraged by celebrities, you need to make sure that you know how to keep a relationship together for life.
If you want to keep a relationship together for life, you have to build on the respect, attraction and love that your wife feels for you, rather than taking it for granted and expecting that she will stick around just because you are married.
If a husband fails to do that, the wife may become tired of not feeling the way she wants to feel and, unlike in the past when a woman would stay in a marriage even if she felt unhappy for ‘the sake of the children’ or to avoid the stigma of being divorced, she will leave or ask for a separation.
Of course, that’s not to say that the problems in the marriage are solely the man’s fault.
For example: If a wife isn’t fully committed to being married, is a woman of loose morals (i.e. she cheats, has affairs, flirts with other guys online, etc), or has a bad temper that her husband doesn’t know how to reign in, or deal with, then there is a high chance that she is going to destroy their relationship over time.
On the other hand, if a woman is fully committed to her marriage, has a good attitude and is willing to do whatever it takes to make it work, then it’s highly unlikely that the marriage will end in divorce.
Of course, if your wife hasn’t had a good attitude recently, it doesn’t mean she can’t change.
Just think about how she behaved around you in the past.
That kind of behavior is still possible for her and is actually the way she really wants to be.
Yet, she will need you to break her out of her negative attitude and back into loving, respecting and feeling attracted to you like she used to.
Remain Calm
Right now, if you’re saying, “My wife wants to leave me,” you’re probably feeling hurt, betrayed, stressed and maybe even a little desperate to quickly fix the problem while you still can.
That is natural.
However, just make sure that you remain calm.
If she senses desperation from you, it will push her away even more because women aren’t attracted to desperation, neediness or insecurity in men.
Let her see that you do care, but are in control of your emotions, even though it seems like she no longer wants to be with you and your life could be torn apart any day now.
You can fix this.
Of course, you might not believe that right now based on how she’s been behaving and what she has recently said.
In fact, at this point, you might believe that there is absolutely nothing you can do to make her change her mind about leaving you.
Luckily, that isn’t true.
You can get her to change her mind and feel compelled to stay with you.
To get your wife to change her mind, you need to quickly begin rebuilding her respect, attraction and love for you.
When she experiences those renewed feelings of respect and attraction, she will then naturally open herself up to fully loving you again.
Watch this video to understand how it works…
The video above is for men who have already been dumped by their woman, so be sure to use the advice now to fix things between you and her, rather than waiting and then having to fight to get her back after she leaves you.
If she does decide to leave you, don’t make any of these mistakes…
As you will discover from the video above, your wife is only going to start taking you seriously if you are able to make her feel the way that she wants to feel.
The fact that you’re a good man and are promising to better from now on, may not be enough for her at this point.
At this point in your marriage, she’s probably heard you promise to change in the past, but you really didn’t know how to, or you did for a while and then slipped back into your old ways.
Where Husbands Go Wrong
One of the biggest mistakes that husbands make when their wife wants to leave, is rushing to come up with a quick fix for the problems in their marriage, without first understanding what has caused the problems in the first place.
For example: If a wife has decided that she wants to leave her husband because she is sick and tired of him not being able to be the emotionally strong, masculine man that she needs, she isn’t going to change her mind if her husband offers to take her on a vacation.
Getting out of the house and going on a vacation might be fun and she might even go along with it, but the real reason she wants to leave is that he still isn’t able to be the type of man she wants emotionally (e.g. he’s too insecure, jealous, emotionally sensitive, irritable, etc).
In that case, a husband offering to take his wife on vacation to fix the problems between them is like putting a Band-Aid over a severed artery and hoping it will stop the bleeding.
So, before you say or do anything else around your wife, you first need to understand why she has stopped feeling respect, attraction and love for you as her man.
How can you find that out?
Definitely not by asking her. Why?
Although some women will explain the reasons why they are no longer attracted to a man, most women (not all) will try to avoid doing so for one or more of the following reasons:
1. Instinctively, a woman wants to protect herself around a man. If she thinks that her man may potentially become angry and even aggressive (whether verbally or physically), she will choose the best way to let him down easily, to avoid putting herself in harm’s way.
2. Some women want to avoid seeing their man break down and either, beg, plead or cry and try to “guilt” her into feeling sorry for him and changing her decision. She might also want to avoid having to listen to him make rushed apologies hoping that if he’s sincere enough and promises her that he’ll do whatever she asks him to do, it will be enough to change her mind.
3. Many women simply don’t want to teach their man what he needs to do to get her back. If she has to “mother” him and then take on the role of being his teacher, she will fear that it will become a repetitive pattern in their relationship, where she will have to continually teach him how to be the man she needs and wants him to be.
Rather than explaining everything to you and teaching you how to get her respect back and re-attract her, most women will say things like, “I think we’ve drifted apart,” or “I just don’t love you like I did when we got married.”
So, make sure that you take the time to learn how a woman’s attraction for a man really works and how you can use that to stop your wife from leaving you.
As you will discover from the video above, you have a lot of direct control over how much attraction you make your wife feel for you.
For example: If a husband is insecure, emotionally sensitive and takes his wife for granted, he will literally be destroying her feelings of respect and attraction for him as a man.
However, if a husband is confident, emotionally strong and makes his wife feel loved and appreciated, she will naturally feel respect and attraction for him.
Classic Mistakes to Avoid
There are many reasons why a wife will decide that she wants to leave her husband.
In some cases, the reasons are obvious (e.g. he’s been having an affair, he’s been physically or verbally abusive towards her, etc), while in other instances the reasons are a lot more subtle and harder to identify.
For example…
1. Taking her love, respect and attraction for granted.
This is probably the easiest thing to happen in a marriage.
Over time, work, bills, children, etc., can take on a bigger significance than the husband and wife relationship. Eventually, instead of taking the time to make his wife feel loved, valued and appreciated, a husband can easily fall into the habit of taking her for granted.
An example of this is when a husband and wife fall into a pattern where she must always do the household chores and take care of the children, while he takes charge of the car and paying the bills.
While it’s perfectly normal to divide duties in the household, there’s nothing stopping him from occasionally doing the dishes, or helping out with the chores or the children if she is busy, (just like there’s nothing wrong with her paying the bills or taking care of the car if he is under a lot of pressure).
In this way, although there’s clearly a balance in the relationship dynamic where he is the man and she is the woman, he is still letting her know that he doesn’t take what she does for granted and that he loves and appreciates her for it.
If he just assumes that she is there to serve him, she will end up feeling like a maid or a business partner in life.
She wants to feel like you and her are still in love. You love her and appreciate so much that you’re willing to do nice things for her.
2. Not reaching for your true potential as a man.
When a woman gets married to a man, it’s because she feels enough respect, attraction and love to commit to him.
In her eyes, he’s a keeper and is worth committing to for life.
It’s not so much about his looks, but rather his inner qualities (e.g. his confidence, mental and emotional strength, drive and ambition, etc), that make her feel attracted, safe and taken care of.
Yet, during the course of the marriage, if a guy stops behaving in all the ways that were attractive to her (e.g. he becomes needy and insecure, ends up stuck in a dead-end job because it’s comfortable and pays the bills, etc), she will naturally start to question whether or not she will live her best life by staying with him.
A woman knows that life is often very challenging and it requires a man to have the mental and emotional strength to carry on and keep trying to create a better life for them both.
So, when a wife notices that her man keeps hiding from his true potential in life (i.e. he doesn’t try to achieve his biggest dreams and ambitions and just settles for second, third or fourth best), she naturally feels turned off and resentful towards him.
You Can Make Her Change Her Mind
Even if your wife is currently saying, “It’s too late. I don’t love you anymore,” it’s not too late to change her mind.
Why? If there was real love between you and her in the past, then that love is still there in the background.
She is simply refusing to allow herself to connect with those feelings for you because she doesn’t want to put herself in a position of being disappointed again if you don’t change enough.
Once you can show your wife (via your actions, behavior, body language and the things you say) that you fully understand what caused her to want to leave you and are already changing those things, she will naturally start to re-connect with those feelings of respect, attraction and love that she’s been blocking herself from feeling.
It’s likely that before you read this article you were thinking, “My wife wants to leave me and there’s nothing I can do to stop her,” but as you can see, it’s not impossible.
She just needs to feel respect and attraction for you again as her man, and the love will flow between you and her again.
Right now, she’s just not allowing herself to fully connect with it because she feels as though you don’t have the ability to change and improve in the ways she needs you to.
Yet, you do.
You can do this.
You can fix the issues between you and her, get her respect back and make her feel attracted to you again.
When that happens, she will naturally reconnect with her feelings of love for you.
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