Never chase after being dumped. True or false?
Well, it’s true that you shouldn’t desperately chase after a woman when she has dumped you. However, that doesn’t mean that you should just give up and walk away and say, “Well, look. If she comes back, she comes back. If she doesn’t, she doesn’t.”
A guy can say that if he wants to (i.e. if he doesn’t really care about his woman,) but what I’m talking about here is a guy who has lost his girlfriend or his wife and he really loves her.
It’s a woman that he sees as special.
He enjoyed the connection that they had, he still loves her, he’s still attracted to her, but he stuffed up in the relationship.
He made some mistakes.
He wants her back and he knows that this time around, he can do a better job.
He can make her feel the kind of respect, attraction and love that she really wanted to feel in the relationship.
So, while you shouldn’t chase after a woman desperately when she has dumped you, it doesn’t mean that you just give up and don’t try to get her back.
Where guys go wrong is that they think that getting a woman back means asking for a relationship, asking for another chance.
That’s not how you get a woman back who has dumped you, in most cases.
Sometimes a woman will give a guy another chance if he simply asks for it, but when a guy is being dumped and she no longer wants anything to do with him, she’s going to say no if he asks her for another chance.
She will say no if he asks her right away, after a week, after a month and maybe even after a year.
Why?
She doesn’t feel attracted to him.
He’s feeling attracted to her, he loves her, he wants to be with her, but the feelings aren’t mutual.
Luckily for us men though, we can actually create feelings of sexual attraction inside of a woman.
We can create it.
You can interact with a woman and create a spark.
You can get her smiling and laughing and feeling good around you.
You can make her feel attracted to your confidence.
You can make her feel attracted to your emotional masculinity.
You can make her feel girly in comparison to your masculinity.
You can make her feel attracted to your charm and charisma.
You can bring her guard down and open her back up to being with you.
So, rather than chasing a woman and trying to ask for a relationship, what you need to do is focus on the one thing that matters to her.
What is that?
Her feelings.
How does she feel about you?
If she feels turned off by you, she’s not attracted to you, she doesn’t respect you, she’s not really feeling like she’s in love with you anymore, then she’s going to say no if you want another relationship with her.
It doesn’t matter if you say, “Hey – I promise that I’ll do better this time. Just tell me what you want me to change. I’ll do anything. I have already changed. Just give me a chance to show you,” and so on. That isn’t what works.
What works is when you interact with your ex and you actively create a spark.
You make her feel attracted to you by the way that you’re talking to her, the way that you’re interacting with her.
You create a spark.
When you do that, what does she have?
She has feelings for you.
She starts to feel attracted.
She starts to feel some respect for you. She starts to feel sparks of love.
Then, she starts to want to get back into a relationship with you or at least hook up with you and see how she feels.
Here’s the thing…
I’ve been helping guys to get women back for many years now and I’ve heard of all the strategies that guys use and I know which strategies and approaches don’t work for most guys.
The one that doesn’t work for most guys in most situations is simply walking away and trying to show her that you don’t care when you actually do.
When a woman doesn’t feel respect and attraction and love for a guy — in other words, she doesn’t have feelings for him — and he just says, “Alright – I’m not going to do anything. I’m just going to cut off contact and show her that I don’t care,” what does he achieve?
In a very small number of cases, a woman will come back because she’s very young and can’t handle the pain of a breakup or she’s inexperienced and can’t deal with the pain of a breakup, or she can’t find a replacement guy and then just gets back with her ex for something to do for a while.
That happens in a small number of cases.
That is true, but for the vast majority of cases that I’ve seen, the woman doesn’t come back because she doesn’t have feelings for the guy.
He hasn’t done anything or he hasn’t done enough to re-spark her feelings for him.
He might have been using the approach of trying to convince her to give him another chance, begging and pleading, promising that things will be different, saying that things are different and he just needs a chance to show that to her and so on.
All of those approaches don’t work because they don’t actually create a spark of sexual and romantic attraction inside of the woman at that point in time.
It’s just a guy saying, “Please…give me another chance. I will show you. I’ll do it. You can see for yourself. Just give me a chance.”
That doesn’t make a woman feel a spark of romantic and sexual attraction especially when she has already broken up with the guy.
She has already gotten to the point where she doesn’t respect him enough and she doesn’t feel enough attraction and she doesn’t feel enough love to stay in a relationship.
Now, he’s asking her to disregard her feelings and just give him another chance because he wants it.
When getting a woman back, you’ve got to understand that what matters to her at the moment are her feelings.
When you were in a relationship with her, she cared about your feelings, too — if she was a decent woman, of course. There are some women out there who don’t care about their guy.
That is true as well, but the majority of women out there do care about their man’s feelings when they’re in a relationship with him.
It’s a relationship.
You’re in love, you care about each other, you look out for each other.
Yet, now that it’s broken up, she only really cares about her feelings.
She might be a nice woman and have some empathy and be patient and nice to her ex, but in most cases, the woman just closes up and focuses on her feelings.
She doesn’t want to be focused on her ex guy’s feelings because that will make her feel pity for him and want to give him another chance for that reason.
So you need to understand that the only thing that really matters to her at the moment are her feelings.
When you make her have feelings for you, then a relationship with you becomes something that she wants.
What’s an example of making a woman have feelings again?
One example is where a guy was too neutral in the relationship with his woman.
He didn’t really create much of a spark inside of her. He acted and behaved more like a friend with her.
At the start, the relationship was fine because they were having sex and it was all new, but over time, it became boring because his approach to the relationship was about being like a friend. So, there was no spark there.
She didn’t feel like she was excited in the way that she was at the start.
To make her feel attracted to him again, he needs to start interacting with her in ways that are going to create a spark.
For example: He uses more humor, he has more of a confident energy, he’s more emotionally masculine, which then allows her to be feminine around him and he also adds in a bit of a sexual energy when he’s talking to her rather than just talking to her in a friendly or neutral way.
Another example of re-attracting an ex is where a guy became emotionally sensitive and insecure in a relationship.
Then, when he interacts with her, he can show her by the way that he’s talking, by the way that he’s using his body language, by the way that he’s reacting to her and the way that he’s behaving that he’s so much more emotionally strong now.
He’s not the emotionally sensitive, emotionally weak, insecure guy that he became in the relationship.
He is so much stronger now.
No matter what she says or does around him, he maintains his confidence.
He talks to her with so much more confidence. He looks her in the eye with so much more confidence.
When she tries to tease him or make him feel insecure or make him doubt himself, he remains confident.
As a result, she can see for herself that he has changed.
She can also see for herself that she feels differently around him now.
He doesn’t have to say to her, “Hey. I promise that I’ve changed. I promise that things will be different now. Please just give me a chance to show you.”
He doesn’t have to do that because women can pick up on it themselves.
When you interact with a woman, she can sense for herself whether or not you now know how to attract her in the ways that really matter to her.
When you start attracting your ex in the ways that really matter to her, then you don’t need to chase her.
She feels drawn to you.
Her guard comes down.
She opens up and you can get her back into a relationship with you.
Learn More?
I hope you’ve enjoyed this video and learned something from it.
If you’d like to learn more and you need more help to get your ex back, I recommend that you watch my program Get Your Ex Back Super System
You will learn how to make your ex feel so much attraction for you, so much respect and so much love, that she will open back up and want to be in a relationship with you.
In many cases, a woman will actually start to chase her ex and try to get back with him.
Whatever happens in your case, you can get her back.
It doesn’t matter if she starts chasing you or you need to pursue her. Either way is fine as long as you get her back.
It’s not about being desperate and chasing her and pleading with her to give you another chance.
Instead, it’s about focusing on what matters the most to her, her feelings.
When you make her have feelings for you again, everything changes.
Her guard comes down, she opens back up and you can get back into a relationship with her.
Desperately Chasing Vs. Calmly and Confidently Pursuing a Woman
One final point that I want to make for you in this video is that there’s a big difference between desperately chasing a woman who has dumped you versus calmly and confidently pursuing a woman, making her feel attracted and getting her back.
Have you ever heard a woman say, “I like a man who knows what he wants and isn’t afraid to go out and get it. He’s not afraid to pursue it. He’s not afraid to go after it.”
That’s what women respect.
Women don’t respect when a guy is being desperate and needy and crazy and he’s losing control because his woman dumped him. That is not what they respect.
Women respect a man who is in control of his emotions.
He’s calm, he’s confident, he knows what he wants and he knows how to get it and he’s not afraid to go after it.
He’s not afraid to pursue it.
He’s not afraid to potentially come up against some resistance.
For example: When a guy starts calmly and confidently pursuing his ex, he might be greeted with a no at the start.
She might not believe that he can have changed.
She might have her guard up, but when he starts to make her feel attracted in the ways that really matter to her, then her guard comes down.
Then she starts to realize that things are different.
She feels differently around him now.
She feels attracted to him, she feels some respect for him again, she’s starting to feel love for him again and as a result, he can get her back.
So, while you shouldn’t desperately chase an ex after she has dumped you, that doesn’t mean that you simply give up, walk away and expect her to come back even if she’s not attracted to you.
If you want her back, in most cases that I’ve seen, a guy needs to do something about it.
He needs to actively make his ex woman have feelings for him again.
Otherwise, she just moves on.
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