Here are 5 common reasons why a woman will do that to a boyfriend or a guy that she was in a casual sex relationship with.
1. She was just testing to see how she would feel without you and it turns out that she did miss you
After leaving a guy, a woman will sometimes be confused about whether to move on, or go back to him and give the relationship another chance.
On one hand, she’s experiencing emotions such as disappointment, resentment, sadness and bitterness about her time with him.
Yet, on the other hand, she’s feeling some love, happiness and fondness based on the positive memories they made together.
This can be very confusing for her, especially if she’s in touch with her ex via text, social media or and in person.
So, she decides to ghost him and see if she can move on without him.
If she doesn’t miss him, then she’ll continue ignoring him and focus on moving on, by meeting and hooking up with new guys, until she finds one she wants to be in a relationship with.
However, if she misses her ex that she’s ghosting, despite still feeling some negative emotions about him and the relationship, she will often come back to stop feeling the pain of losing him.
So, if your ex ghosted you and then came back, take it as a good sign.
Of course, that doesn’t mean you should now sit around and wait for her to give you a crystal clear sign that she missed you and is open to getting back with you.
The fact is, the ball is in your court and as the man, it’s up to you to initiate the ex back process and re-attract her so that you can get her back.
That means, seeing as she’s back, you get her on a call and begin re-sparking some of her sexual and romantic feelings for you (e.g. by making her laugh and smile and feel good about talking to you again, flirting a little bit to create some sexual tension between you).
Then, when she’s feeling relaxed and open, suggest that you and her meet up to say hello as friends.
For example: You might say something along the lines of, “Hey, it’s been nice chatting to you. Let’s meet up for some coffee sometime this week to say hello as friends and catch up on each other’s news. I’m available on Wednesday or Sunday afternoon. Which day suits you best?”
If she’s been missing you and then you’ve also sparked her feelings during the call, she will likely say “Yes.”
However, don’t be surprised if she’s a bit resistant to the idea.
A lot of women don’t want to seem too easy to an ex guy, or give him the impression that if she meets up with him it means she wants to get back together again.
The important thing is that you maintain your confidence and say something like, “Hey, it’s no big deal. It’s just some coffee between two friends. It’s not like we’re getting back together again or anything like that. So, come on… which day is good for you?”
When you phrase it that way, she will likely agree and you can then go ahead and arrange a suitable day and time.
Important: Make sure that when you meet up with her, you’re prepared to give her an upgraded attraction experience.
Don’t get there and come across as nervous, unsure of yourself and like you’re too scared to say anything out of line in case you annoy her.
If she senses that you’re not man enough for her (e.g. confident, emotionally strong, emotionally masculine), it will turn her off at a deep instinctive level.
Then she will likely decide to walk away from you for real, because you’re just not able to be the man she wants you to be.
On the other hand, if she notices that you’re now making her feel attracted in new and exciting ways, she will be happy that she came back after ghosting you.
You can then fully reactivate her feelings for you and get her back.
2. She started seeing a new guy and it didn’t work out, so she reached out to you to make herself feel better
Most attractive women can easily move on after a break up.
That’s usually because there are guys who have been interested in her all along (e.g. at work/university/ in her neighborhood) and who will quickly make a move after her and her guy split up.
So, in most cases, when a woman begins seeing another man, she will decide to cut off all contact with her ex so that she can move on faster (e.g. she doesn’t respond to any of his emails/texts or social media messages, she ignores his calls and avoids going to any place where she might bump into him by accident).
However, if her new relationship doesn’t work out (mainly because according to some sources, on average, 90% of rebound relationships fail within the first three months), she might begin feeling bad about herself.
She may even start wondering things like, “What’s wrong with me? Why can’t I find a decent man who wants me? Maybe I’m not attractive enough.”
This can lead to her thinking something along the lines of, “At least my ex thought I was worth it. Maybe I should get in touch with him again to say hi.”
She then does that and she almost always gets rewarded with an ex who is happy to hear from her again.
She then starts to feel good about herself and her attractiveness to men again.
Unfortunately, most guys don’t know how to use the opportunity to reactivate her feelings and get her back.
Instead, they stick around being a nice, sweet, adoring friend to her.
As a result, she gets the confidence boost she needs to put herself out there again, so she can find a man she feels sexually and romantically attracted to.
Then, when that happens, she ghosts her ex again, in most cases, this time for real.
So, don’t let that happen to you.
Regardless of your ex’s reasons for coming back after ghosting you, if you want her back, you need to focus on reactivating her feelings of respect, attraction and love for you.
Don’t act neutral or like you just want to be her nice, reliable friend and expect her to stick around for that.
You have to make her feel attracted.
The more drawn to you she is in a way that feels good to her, the more she will want to stick around to see what happens from there.
You can then easily get her back into a relationship with you.
So, focus on that and make it happen.
Another possible reason why your ex ghosted you and then came back is…
3. She didn’t originally ghost you
In some cases, a woman might act like she’s ghosting her ex, just so that she can check to see what he will do.
For example:
- Will he give up and walk away?
- Will he get angry with her for ghosting him?
- Will he lose confidence in himself and in his attractiveness to her?
- Will he become obsessive and start texting, emailing or messaging her constantly in the hope that she will respond to him again?
- Will he have the confidence to persevere, contact her, re-spark her sexual and romantic feelings and get her back?
- Will he lose control of his emotions and begin asking her why she’s ghosting him via texts, emails or online messages?
- Will he lose interest and just move on with a new woman?
Depending on how he reacts, she will either continue ignoring him and then focus on moving on and finding herself a replacement guy, or she will open herself up to being his girl once again.
On the other hand, some women use ghosting as a technique to get a guy to want them more and then hopefully commit.
For example: If a guy gets a sense that he’s losing her (i.e. because he now has no way of interacting with her), he might chase after and make promises to give her whatever she wants.
He may then say things like, “I’m sorry! I know I stuffed up. Please give me another chance. I’ll do anything you want. I don’t want to lose you,” or even, “Please marry me/move in with me/let’s start a family.”
Essentially, he’s playing into her hands and giving her the commitment she’s been wanting all along.
Unfortunately though, if she gets what she wants, she ends up having power over him (i.e. because she manipulated him into chasing after her).
As a result, she loses even more respect and attraction for him for being a walkover.
Then, rather than get back together with him, she may just decide that she’s better off moving on and finding herself a real man to be in a relationship with.
So, if you want to get your ex back, the most important thing for you to do is to maintain your emotional strength and emotional masculinity as you try to get her back.
In other words, don’t let her manipulate you and gain power over you.
Then, just contact her and make her feel a renewed sense of respect, attraction and love for you.
When she sees that you have the balls to go after her and the ability to make her have feelings for you again, she will begin to see you in a more positive light.
Her defenses will then naturally come down and she will start wanting a relationship with you again for her own reasons (e.g. she feels attracted to you in new and exciting ways, she doesn’t want to lose you and end up regretting it later on).
Another possible reason why your ex ghosted you and then came back is…
4. She lost interest because you weren’t enough of a challenge, but then became bored and thought she’d try you again
Most guys are good guys, so it’s only natural that they will try to keep their woman happy in the relationship with them.
However, sometimes a guy can go overboard when trying to please his girl.
For example: He might…
- Always be nice and sweet to her, regardless of the way she treats him (e.g. she disrespects him, she’s closed off, she lies to him, she doesn’t show any interest in the things that are important to him, she doesn’t support him in achieving his goals and dreams and possibly even breaks him down).
- Step back and allow her to lead, take on most of the responsibilities and make the majority of the decisions for the both of them (e.g. she picks where they go and what they do, she takes care of all the finances, she gives or denies him permission to hang out with friends).
- Shower her with attention.
- Spoil her with flowers, gifts and romantic gestures.
- Never stand up to her, or disagree with her because he doesn’t want to annoy or upset her (even if he gets upset himself as a result).
Naturally, from his point of view, he’s doing what a loving boyfriend/husband should do to show his woman how much he adores and appreciates her.
As a result, he assumes she’s happy, which is why when she breaks up with him it’s such a big shock.
Yet, what he doesn’t realize is that just being nice, agreeable and agreeable isn’t the secret to maintaining a woman’s respect, attraction and love in a relationship.
So, even though a woman will likely appreciate it that her guy is nice to her and lets her have her way from time to time, she doesn’t want to feel as though she can do anything she wants in the relationship and get away with it.
Instead, she wants him to make her feel as though she needs to put in the effort to keep him happy and interested in her.
In other words, she wants him to be more of a challenge.
So, if he doesn’t offer her the challenge she secretly wants from her man, then she will naturally begin to feel that her relationship is too dreary and bland for her.
She may then break up with her man and decide to ghost him so that she can move on.
Of course, if she then realizes that being single is not really as much fun as she initially thought it would be, she may begin thinking things like, “Maybe I made a mistake ghosting my ex. At least having him around made me feel special. Maybe I should get back in touch with him and let him spoil me a little bit. He’s better than being bored all the time.”
She may then come back to him for a little while until she can find someone better to be with.
So, if you want to get your ex back for real, rather than in the short term, you need to focus on approaching her in a completely new way that is going to be more attractive and exciting to her.
In other words, you need to create a relationship dynamic where you treat her well and make her feel loved and appreciated, but you also make her feel motivated to work hard to impress you and keep you interested in her.
The more she begins to feel that walking away from you could be a big mistake (i.e. because she now views you as a catch), the more open she will become to giving the relationship another chance.
5. She wants to use you to get over the guy who just dumped her
Sometimes, a woman might get into a new relationship pretty quickly after she breaks up with her guy.
In most cases, that relationship is a rebound and she’s using the new man to make herself feel better and to help her get over her ex.
So, if that guy then dumps her, her ego will likely take quite a big hit.
She may then decide to go back to her ex whom she’s been ghosting, so that she can recover from being rejected (i.e. because he’s likely been sitting around waiting for her and will probably be happy that she’s no longer ghosting him and treat her like a princess as a result).
However, because she doesn’t have sexual and romantic feelings for him anymore, she can get spoiled and sucked up to while she heals her wounded ego, without the risk of getting hurt.
Then, when she no longer feels bruised from having been discarded by her rebound guy, she will almost certainly move on again and find another man to be with.
Here’s the thing though…
Even if this is the reason why your ex came back after ghosting you, you don’t have to sit around and wait for her to dump you again once she’s feeling better about herself.
Instead, you can change your approach to attraction with her and reactivate her feelings for you.
The more you make her feel respect and attraction for you again, the less she will want to move on with someone else.
So, use your interactions with her to spark her feelings for you and make her want you back.
Then, hook up with her sexually, blow her mind and get her back into a relationship with you that’s 100% better than ever before.
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