Here’s what to do when a woman says that to you:
1. Initially accept it and walk away
If you haven’t already done that, don’t worry.
Just do it now.
Begin the process of getting her back by saying something like, “I just wanted to tell you that I accept your decision to break up. I’m not going to ask you to get back together because it over for us as a couple and I accept that. I only wish you the best going forward. One thing that I want us to be able to do is to be mature enough to be friends. Okay? Let’s just be friends and not be afraid to say hi as a friend if we ever want to. Both of us will move on, but we will be mature about.”
In most cases, the woman will then agree to remain friends because she won’t want to be the one who comes across as being stubborn or immature.
Of course, you don’t really want to be her friend.
You want her back as your girlfriend (or fiancé or wife, whatever applies to you).
Yet, by keeping the lines of communication open as “friends,” you then have an opportunity to seduce her back into a relationship with you.
For the next 3-7 days though, you will show her that you accept the break up and are walking away.
The 3-7 days will show her that you are a man of your word (i.e. you have accepted her decision to break up with you and are not trying to get her back).
Then, when you contact her as a friend, you are still being a man of your word.
She can’t complain about that.
Instead, not hearing from you for up to a week will cause her to think about you and most likely miss you.
As a result, it will be much easier to attract her and seduce her back into a relationship.
BTW: If you take longer than 7 days to contact your ex, she might begin to get over you or potentially hook up with another man to help herself get over you.
If you wait even longer, she may end up in a new, serious relationship.
This is why between 3 and 7 days is the optimum amount of time that a guy should wait before contacting his ex woman and completing the rest of the ex back process.
During the 3 to 7 days, you need to…
2. Quickly upgrade your ability to attract her and other women
The essential key to making your ex change her mind and get back with you, is to make sure that when you contact her again (i.e. after giving her 3 to 7 days of space), you are fully ready to give her the attraction experience she always wanted from you.
For example:
If you ended up feeling insecure about yourself and your attractiveness and value to her as a man, you probably became clingy and needy in the relationship.
As a result, she will have felt turned off by your emotional weakness and would not have been getting the kind of attraction experience she wanted in the relationship.
So, before you interact with her again and try to get her back, make sure that you focus on becoming more confident in your attractiveness to her and emotionally independent without her.
Being confident in your attractiveness to her doesn’t mean that you should go to the gym for months and build up your body to hopefully impress her with that.
Instead, it means being confident in your ability to make her feel attracted to you as you talk to her (i.e. refresh your knowledge on how to flirt with a woman in a relationship, how to maintain your masculinity, how to make her feel loved without being a pushover).
Watch this video for some examples of flirting, maintaining your masculinity and making her feel loved without being a pushover, based on how you react and respond to her:
Can see how it works?
The approach you take with a woman in a relationship either gives her the attraction experience she really wants, or it doesn’t.
You really have to be clear on how to attract your woman when in a relationship, otherwise it just won’t last in the long run.
Additionally, if you aren’t able to make your ex feel as though you could give her the kind of attraction experience she wants, then she will almost certainly keep saying things like, “There’s nothing more to say. It’s over” as she moves on without you.
Here’s another example of upgrading your ability to attract her:
If you were too submissive with your ex before (e.g. allowed her to call the shots, control you or the relationship), you need to show her that you’re now more emotionally strong and assertive, while still being a good, loving man.
Become more emotionally strong and assertive isn’t about turning into a bully, or being overly domineering.
Instead, it’s just about being more commanding, decisive and confident in your position as the man, rather than shying away from that because you fear how she might react.
Always remember: If you fear her reaction, she won’t feel attraction.
That is a key principle of attraction that so many guys these days have never been taught by their father or father figure.
So many guys grow up being influenced and advised to be more sensitive, hesitant and feminine to hopefully make women happy.
Yet, it doesn’t work in romantic relationships.
Women want balls.
If you can continue being a good, loving man, but have more balls, then your ex will automatically feel more attracted to you.
Another example:
If you treated her like your friend or buddy, which decreased the sexual attraction and made her feel neutral around you, then you need to focus on flirting with her and making her feel like a desirable, sexy woman in your presence from now on.
Remember: It’s not about becoming someone you’re not, it’s about adjusting your approach so that your ex can see that side to you that she was attracted to initially, but faded away along the way.
When you upgrade your ability to make her feel attracted, not only does your ex feel drawn to you again in a way that feels good to her, but you also automatically become more attractive to other women as well.
Other women see the qualities in you that they instinctively look for in a man (e.g. confidence, emotional strength, emotional masculinity, charisma) and they want to be around you.
Your ex will pick up on that, even if she doesn’t see you interacting with other women.
Women know what other women really find attractive in a man and when a man displays the qualities they are looking for, they know that other women will find him attractive.
This makes your ex feel as though you aren’t lost without her and could easily attract a new high quality woman.
When she feels that, she begins to worry that you might be able to move on with a woman who she would see as being prettier than her, which would then make her feel rejected and left behind.
This can cause your ex to want to get back with you and give the relationship another shot, rather than ending up feeling like a reject as you move on with your upgraded ability to attract women.
On the other hand, if you continue to use the same old approach to attraction that you’ve been using, or if you become less attractive (e.g. appear insecure, hesitant, unsure of yourself), your ex isn’t going to feel motivated to want to get back with you.
So, upgrade your ability to attract her and then interact with her, attract her and seduce her back into a relationship.
Before you do that though…
3. Understand that there really is nothing more to say about the relationship
Some guys assume that the best way to fix a relationship is to talk about it.
That works when you are in a relationship and you and the woman respect, love and feel attracted to each other.
Yet, when a woman has dumped a guy because she no longer feels enough respect, attraction and love for him, she usually won’t want to discuss how to fix the relationship to get it back together.
Instead, she wants her ex to upgrade his ability to attract her, understand where he has been going wrong and fix that and then get on with making her feel attracted, making her respect him again and making her want to give him another chance for her own reasons.
She doesn’t want him to try to discuss her back into a relationship, even though he hasn’t changed.
She also doesn’t want him promising to change a whole bunch of things if she just gives him another chance.
Sometimes that will work when the relationship still hasn’t gotten very bad, but if a woman is sick and tired of her guy making the same old mistakes and wants out of the relationship, then she isn’t going to care what he is promising.
After all, she has no proof that he could actually deliver on his promises.
This is why you always need to deliver what you are actually promising, rather than promising to deliver.
Big difference.
Unfortunately, a lot of guys don’t realize that when they are trying to get their ex woman back.
For example: A guy might call his ex woman, text her or see her in person and regularly be saying things like, “Let’s talk about this. I’m sure if we can discuss what happened, we’ll be able to find a solution. We can then get back together again. I mean, give me a chance. Why don’t you want to talk about this?” and so on.
Yet, when a woman has disconnected from her feelings of love, respect and attraction for him, she just doesn’t feel motivated about having a discussion to fix the relationship, so he can then get her back.
The more he tries to work things out with her, the more resistant she becomes, until she finally gets fed up and says something along the lines of. “Look, there’s really nothing more to say. It’s over and you need to accept it and move on.”
So, what should you focus on instead?
Attraction.
Her feelings of attraction.
Yes, you feel attracted to her and you want her, but she needs to feel that way about you to give you another chance.
At this point in the ex back process, your feelings aren’t important to her.
What matters to her are her feelings.
That’s all.
Does she feel respect you?
If yes, then she will be open to feeling attracted to you.
Are you able to make her feel a new kind of attraction for you?
If yes, then she will be open to reconnecting with her feelings of love for you.
That’s how it really works.
So go ahead and…
4. Interact with her and make her feel attracted to you in new ways
When you feel ready to begin, go ahead and call your ex on the phone, or if possible, meet up with her in person and begin making her feel attracted to you in new ways.
You have to do that on a phone call (audio or video) or in person.
Don’t hide behind texts.
You’ve got to get to a call or an in person meet up as soon as possible.
That’s how to speed up the re-attraction process and get her back.
Hiding behind texts just slows things down and results in most guys getting rejected by their ex or ignored eventually.
Some guys also end up texting their ex girl for weeks, only to eventually get a text that goes something like this, “I’ve got something to tell you. Don’t be mad okay?” and she then tells him that she has met someone else and has started seeing him.
Don’t do that to yourself.
Move the ex back process along from one step to the next.
For example: When you interact with her on the phone or in person, you can begin making her feel attracted to you by…
- Being confident and easy-going during the interaction with her regardless of what she says or does to give you the impression that she’s not interested in you anymore (e.g. she’s cold and distant, she talks about how happy she is to be single, she keeps saying that it’s over).
- Using humor to ease the awkwardness between you and her, rather than being too serious, or being on your best behavior and allowing the situation to remain tense and not creating attraction as a result.
- Flirting with her to create sexual tension, rather than ‘playing it safe’ by just acting friendly, neutral or distant.
- Believing in yourself and in your value to her, rather than turning her off by doubting yourself.
- Being a good man to her, but also having the balls to be a bit assertive or direct when necessary, so she can feel attracted to your masculinity.
- Showing her (via your actions, behavior and conversation style) that you’re now a new and improved man that she can truly look up to, respect, feel attracted to and love, rather than continuing to make the same old attraction mistakes you did leading up to the break up.
To attract her in new ways, you’ve got to be willing to use a different approach to attraction to create a new spark.
You can’t just offer her what got you dumped and think she will run back to you based on that.
You’ve got to let her feel new and different sparks of respect and attraction for you, so she can naturally feel drawn to you and want to experience more.
Once you have made her feel need sparks of respect and attraction for you, go ahead and…
5. End the interaction to make her feel like she is losing you now
As your ex’s guard starts to slip down and she begins feeling relaxed and happy to be interacting with you again, she may begin thinking things like, “He’s seems so different from the guy I broke up with. I never thought I’d feel this way about him ever again, but I’m enjoying talking to him now. It feels different. It’s interesting. I wonder what else about him has changed and would change if I gave him another chance. I can’t believe I’m even thinking this, but I want to see him again. I’m curious to see where things will go from here. Maybe we can even get back together again. Maybe it isn’t over. Maybe the break up has been what our relationship needed to improve and become what it is now becoming. I want to see him again.”
She might then appear more open to you all of a sudden (e.g. if you’re talking on the phone, she may hint at meeting up sometime, if you’re talking in person, she might start lightly touching her throat, licking her lips or touching you more often as a sign that she’s feeling attracted to you).
You can then say something along the lines of, “Well, anyway… it’s been really great talking to you again, but I guess I should get going now. I just want you to know that there are no hard feelings and I wish you only the best for the future. From here on, we can just be friends then. Okay, bye,” and then end the call, or get up to leave if you’re talking in person.
By ending the interaction when she’s feeling drawn to you again, it ensures that she is left wanting more.
Additionally, by saying that you’re not going to bother her again, you’re planting a seed in her mind that she’s never going to see or hear from you again.
She’s not going to want to have to live with that.
She will want to see you again and as a result, she will try to keep the interaction going, or will accept it ending and will then contact you minutes, hours or days later.
Of course, if you sense that she is willing to get back with you, then you don’t need to play that move.
Simply hook up with her and get back with her right away.
Problem solved.
Yet, if you sense that she is attracted to you again, but needs to experience the pain of losing you first, then you can end the interaction and walk away as “friends” so she feels like it’s not over.
In almost all cases, a woman will try to stop you leaving and you can then agree to continue the interaction and arrange a meet up (if you’re talking on the phone), or hook up sexually (if you were talking in person).
However, if you leave the interaction and then don’t hear from her for a week, you can always contact her as a friend after a week because you said, “From here on, we can just be friends then. Okay, bye” when you left the interaction.
Simply text her and say, “Hey, we’re still friends right?” with a smiley face, have a conversation and get to a meet up.
When you meet up in person, continue making her feel attracted and building up sexual tension between you and her by flirting and then release the sexual tension with kissing and sex.
Just know that the kissing and sex will feel amazing for the both of you.
It’s not just you who will feel amazing.
She will be rushing with feelings of respect, attraction and love for you.
Getting back together with an ex, especially when it was completely over, is an amazing experience for both the man and the woman if the man uses the power of attraction to get her back.
That said, here are…
3 Things You Shouldn’t Do if You Want Her Back
So, here’s the thing…
Your ex has been saying that it’s over and there’s nothing more to say about it.
Yet, just because she said that, it doesn’t mean she will feel that way no matter what.
You can change how she feels about you and when you, she can change how she thinks about you and the relationship.
Of course, this doesn’t mean you should chase after her or make a nuisance of yourself to make her change her mind.
Instead, you need to say and do the types of things that will make her feel sexually and romantically attracted to you again.
That is what works.
When a woman feels a renewed sense of attraction for her ex guy, she naturally changes her mind without you having to try to convince her to give you another chance.
She changes her mind because she feels good about you now.
So, focus on re-attracting her, rather than pushing her away by…
1. Trying to make her feel guilty for not being willing to discuss the relationship and work things out
Some guys become very frustrated and annoyed at their ex girlfriend when she isn’t willing to discuss the relationship and work things out.
From his perspective, she is his girlfriend and because of all the good times they’ve experience and how well he has treated her (or how much he has done for her), she should do the right thing and discuss the relationship with him.
If she doesn’t do that, then she is a selfish bitch, cold, unloving, unfair and so on.
Yet, he doesn’t realize that if a man breaks up with a woman, or a woman breaks up with a man, it is not mandatory or a legal requirement to sit down and discuss the relationship to work it out.
Instead, each individual has the right to leave a relationship and the right to decide whether or not they want to discuss why.
Yet, some guys don’t learn that until after they get angry, annoyed or irritated and try to make their ex girlfriend feel guilty for not being willing to work things out with a discussion.
As a result, he might say something like, “I can’t believe you’re doing this to me! Did our love mean anything to you all? Do you know how much I love you and care about you? How can you just walk away from me like this and not be willing to discuss it? I know that I wasn’t the perfect boyfriend, but I don’t think I deserve this kind of treatment from you. Why are you leaving me without even giving me a chance to make things right? You won’t even talk about it with me. Instead, you just say is that it’s over and there’s nothing more to say. How selfish of you. The least you could do is listen to what I have to say. Why won’t you even try to make things right between us? Did you ever even love me?”
From his perspective, he loves her and is sincerely trying to make things work.
So, why won’t she listen?
One of the main reasons is that she has broken up with him and therefore, no longer has enough feelings for him to want to be in a relationship.
Why should she want to fix the relationship at that point?
Because he’s a good guy and had good intentions?
From her perspective, it can feel like it’s too late for that.
She can end up thinking, “Well, why wasn’t he this serious and motivated to fix the relationship before? Is it just an act to get me back? Will he ever be able to change? I can’t see any evidence that he has changed? He is only saying that he is willing to change. I don’t want that. I would only want a changed version of him or absolutely nothing. I’m not getting back with him if he doesn’t get why I am breaking up with him, fix it and start being the kind of man I want.”
This is why, when he tries to discuss the relationship with her, rather than feeling open to talking things through with him, she closes up and feels like he is wasting her time.
She may even accuse him of being selfish, which will usually make no sense to him at all.
He may think, “Why is she saying that I am being selfish? I am trying to work things out?”
It just doesn’t make any sense to him.
Yet, it’s simple.
She says that he is being selfish because he is asking her to want to give him another chance, even though he doesn’t know what the problem is and probably won’t know how to fix it.
So, she would be getting back with a guy who is still going to turn her off, annoy her and frustrate her in ways that he probably won’t know how to fix.
Therefore, she would only be getting back with him because he loves her and wants her back so much.
Yet, she probably won’t be able to feel love and desire for him because he probably won’t be able to fix the things that have been turning her off.
As a result, getting back with him would feel unfair to her and as though she is giving way more than she is getting, which can result in her using the word “selfish” to describe his requests.
The way women use language can be confusing at times, but the solution is always simple.
Attraction.
When you make her feel attracted to you, her perception of you and the potential of the relationship changes.
She starts feeling good about the idea of getting back with you and wants it, without you having to waste time trying to convince her (which rarely works anyway when a woman is saying, “It’s over and there’s nothing more to say”).
So, focus on attraction.
Don’t try to get your ex back by discussing things with her.
Understand that if she doesn’t feel enough attraction for you, she’s not going to care much about getting back with you.
What’s in it for her?
You’ve got to understand that to get a woman back, it’s about her feelings, not yours.
It’s about her feelings, not your discussions.
So, don’t try to discuss her back into a relationship, or guilt trip her back into a relationship.
Those approaches push women away, especially when she feels as though there’s nothing more to say.
Use attraction to draw her to you and make her want to be back with you because it feels good for her to be around you.
Another mistake to avoid if you want her back is…
2. Assuming that her words are final and there’s no chance for you anymore
When a woman says, “There’s nothing more to say. It’s over between us. Just accept that and leave me alone!” it can sound completely final.
So, it’s only natural that when a guy hears his girlfriend (fiance or wife) say that, he might begin thinking, “Well, it’s over then. I have no chance now. She seems so certain of her decision. It’s like she hates me now. I guess I’ve lost her for real. It’s hopeless. It’s done.”
Yet, what a guy like that doesn’t realize is that a woman’s feelings can be changed and brought back to life based on how he talks, acts and behaves around her, as well as how he responds to what she says and does.
For example: If a man talks to his ex woman and is being confident and emotionally masculine and is making her laugh, smile and feel like a feminine woman in his presence, she’s naturally going to feel some sparks of respect and attraction for him again.
On the other hand, if a man talks to his ex woman and is being insecure and unsure of himself, then she’s not going to feel attracted to him.
As a result, she’s just going to keep pushing him away and saying that it’s over.
Unfortunately, many guys out there don’t realize that they can take control over how much attraction a woman feels for them.
A woman’s attraction for you can literally change based on how you interact with her.
Most guys don’t know that though.
So, rather than actively re-attracting an ex woman and naturally getting her back, they often give up, walk away and miss out on being with the love of their life.
Don’t do that to yourself.
If you want your ex back, you have to believe in yourself and in your ability to change how she feels.
Understand that the more respect and attraction you make her feel during interactions with you, the more she won’t be able to stop herself from feeling drawn to you again in a way that feels good to her.
Even though she said it was over, she can literally change her mind and get back with you.
Don’t go through your life looking back and wishing you gave yourself the chance to re-attract her.
You can do it.
Don’t doubt yourself.
Another mistake to avoid if you want her back is…
3. Trying to get her back with the same old approach to attraction you have always used
At this point, (i.e. she’s saying, “There’s nothing more to say, it’s over”) you’ve probably tried many things to make your ex change her mind about breaking up and it hasn’t worked.
This is why, if you want her back, you’re going to have to change your approach.
If you don’t, she will most likely just continue rejecting you and may end up blocking your number, removing you from her social media and telling you to never contact her again.
Don’t let it get to that point.
Instead, use a different approach from now on.
Focus on creating feelings of sexual and romantic attraction inside of her (e.g. by maintaining your confidence around her regardless of how cold she’s being towards you, using humor to break down her defenses and make her feel good to be around you, flirting with her to create sexual tension).
When you do that, her feelings for you will naturally begin to resurface, whether she wants them to or not.
It happens automatically.
It’s a totally natural and irresistible process.
It’s how men all over the world get women back, even when the woman was saying that she didn’t want anything to do with him anymore.
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