Yes and no.
Yes, you should send your ex a text, but as a man, no you shouldn’t pretend to have accidentally texted her.
It’s fine for women to make that kind of move on a man, but not fine if it’s the other way around.
Why?
Women feel turned off by men who don’t have the confidence to go after what they want (i.e. in this case, her) and as a result, have to resort to pretending, faking or accidentally doing things.
Pretending to text your ex by accident will almost certainly result in her feeling turned off by how you think she could fall for such an obvious trick.
If you don’t feel very confident about texting her, here’s what you can do instead:
1. Send out a feeler text
Feeler texts are essentially where you test the waters.
That can be as simple as texting her something like, “Hey” or, “Hey, how’s things?” or, “Hey, long time no speak. How are you?” and then you see what happens.
For example:
- Does she reply or does she ignore you?
- Does she seem interested or is she cold and aloof?
- Is she being open and friendly or is she closed off and maybe even a little bit bitchy towards you?
Then, depending on her response, you will have a better idea of how to proceed.
For instance, if your ex replies back right away with something along the lines of, “Hey, long time no speak. How are you?” it’s most likely a sign that she’s been missing you.
You can then just pick up the phone and give her a call, because chances are high that she will answer.
Then on the call you can re-spark some of her feelings for you (e.g. by making her laugh and smile and feel good to be talking to you again) and get her to agree to meet up with you in person where you can fully reactivate her feelings for you and get her back.
On the other hand, if your ex responds in a cold, off-handed manner with something along the lines of, “What do you want?” your approach will have to be different.
In a case like that, you will have to break down her defenses a little bit first, before she will be open to answering your call.
One of the ways you can do that is by using humor.
For example: If your ex responds to a feeler text from you with something like, “What do you want?” you can respond with something along the lines of, “It’s Tuesday, so that means it’s car wash day for you. I just wanted to say I’ll be over in 15 minutes so that you can wash my car too. Haha” and then add a smiley face emoji with the tongue sticking out 😛
She will likely smile or laugh at your response and she will be wondering something along the lines of, “I thought my response would put him off and make him leave me alone, or even worse, suck up to me, but instead he’s being funny. This is so unlike him. What has gotten into him?”
She then becomes more open to texting back and forth to see if you really have changed or if your confident, bold reply was just an act.
By the way…
If your ex doesn’t wash her car, you obviously can’t say that to her.
Instead, you just need to adapt what you’re saying to your situation.
However, the point is to be funny and get her laughing and smiling so she wants to talk to you over the phone and meet up with you in person.
Finally, just because your ex doesn’t reply to you, it doesn’t mean she’s not interested anymore and that you should give up and forget about her.
Instead, you need to realize that sometimes a woman doesn’t want to reply to her ex’s initial feeler text.
Why?
Some of her reasons might be…
- She doesn’t want to come across as being too excited to hear from him.
- She doesn’t want to make it too easy for him to get her back.
- She is testing to see if he is confident enough to pursue her even though she’s ignoring him and acting like she’s no longer interested.
This is why you can’t give up at the first sign of resistance from your ex.
If you do, you may end up missing out on your chance of getting her back into a relationship with you and all because you didn’t believe in yourself and in your value to her.
Don’t make the mistake of giving up too soon.
Another thing you can do is…
2. Send her a Straight-to-the-Heart text
For example: You might simply text her something along the lines of, “Miss you” or “Love you.”
If your ex has been missing you and you send her a text like that, it will hit her directly and she will feel a rush of love and excitement straight to the heart.
She will then likely respond with something like, “Miss you too,” or “Hey, how have you been?” as a way of letting you know that she’s happy to hear from you.
From there, just call her so that she can start experiencing the new and improved you over the phone and then in person (i.e. when you get her to meet up with you).
Remember: Just because your ex sounds happy to hear from you, it doesn’t mean she will stay that way if you continue to text her for weeks and months without getting to a phone call and then to a meet up so that she can see how she feels when she’s around you again.
So, don’t hide behind texts and end up losing her.
You’ve got to have the balls to call her, re-spark some of her feelings for you and then meet up with her so that you can fully re-attract her and get her back.
That’s how a real man gets his woman back.
However, it all starts with the courage to send her a Straight-to-the-Heart text and then getting her on a phone call with you.
By the way…
Just like in the previous point, if your ex doesn’t open back up to you right away, it doesn’t mean she’s not secretly sitting at home grinning from ear to ear and thinking things like, “I’m so happy to be hearing from him and to see that he’s missing me as much as I miss him. I hope he’s going to call me, because I’m dying to hear his voice again. However, I had better play it cool so that he doesn’t get the impression that I’m desperate and that I’ve just been sitting here missing him and waiting for him to get in touch with me again.”
So, don’t give up if things don’t unfold in exactly the way you’re hoping.
You can get her back.
Another thing you can do is…
3. Take a deep breath and call her
So many guys get their ex back right away by just having the courage to hit call on their phone and talk to her, rather than hiding behind texts.
The truth is, talking to your ex over the phone will get you much quicker results than if you just stick to texting her. Why?
On a phone call, a woman can sense whether you’ve changed based on the tonality of your voice and how you are now talking to her, responding to her and reacting to what she says.
For example: If a guy was insecure in his relationship with a woman and would get clingy, needy and jealous, his ex might tell him that she’s been having a lot of fun without him, or that there are many guys interested in dating her now that she’s broken up, just to test how he would react.
If he then gets upset, becomes jealous and maybe says things like, “Well, good for you,” or “I see you didn’t waste any time moving on already. I guess I didn’t mean that much to you after all,” she will instantly know that he’s the same guy she broke up with and she will then feel motivated to cut off all contact with him and move on.
On the other hand, if he maintains his confidence regardless of what she says to get a reaction out of him she will automatically feel some respect and attraction for him again and then she becomes more open to meeting up with him in person where he can fully re-attract her and get her back.
However, displaying confidence and emotional strength is not something a guy can properly show a woman via a text message.
So, instead of thinking insecure, scheming things like, “Should I accidentally text my ex?” be confident and emotionally strong enough to call her instead, where she can sense that you’ve changed and become a better man.
Remember: Texting your ex after breaking up can only open the lines of communications with her.
After that, you need to be able to re-attract her on a phone call and then in person if you want to get her back.
By the way…
If you call your ex and she doesn’t answer, text her this…
“Hey…I accept that we’ve broken up, but I want to ask you something quick over the phone. Don’t worry, it’s nothing serious though. I’ll just call you again in 15 minutes.”
Then, give her a call 15 minutes later.
If she still doesn’t answer, don’t keep calling again and again.
Just leave it for a day or two.
She may then text you to ask you what you want, or if she doesn’t, simply call her again at a convenient time for her (i.e. when you know she’s most likely to be at home and not busy with work/studies or out with friends).
If she still doesn’t answer, text her this…
“Look, I know you’re probably busy, but what I need to ask you is best done over the phone. I’ll call you in 5 minutes. After that, if you decide that you don’t ever want to talk to me again, I promise to respect that and leave you alone.”
That almost always makes a woman agree, because she can see that if she doesn’t want to talk to you again, she will have a way to achieve that.
However, if she responds by texting you something like, “What do you want?” or, “Just ask what you want via text and be done with it,” don’t text her back.
Just call her in a couple of minutes, rather than waiting the 5 minutes.
Regardless of how initially reluctant she may be to talk to you over the phone, when she notices that you’re not fighting with her via text, she will naturally be curious to find out what you want to ask her, so she will eventually answer your call.
When that happens, use some humor to break down her defenses right away and make her feel open to talking to you even more.
Then, build on her feelings for you (e.g. by maintaining your confidence with her regardless of how cold or unfriendly she’s being towards you, making her laugh and feel good to be talking to you even more, showing her via your conversation and your response to her that you’ve become a better man) and get her to agree to see you in person.
At the meet up focus on saying and doing the type of things that reactivate her feelings of respect and attraction for you.
Her guard then naturally comes down and she becomes open to seeing you more to see if you and her can rebuild your relationship again.
3 Common Problems You May Experience When Texting Your Ex
By the way…
If you decide to text your ex as a way of opening the lines of communication with her so that you can get her back, make sure you don’t make the following mistakes that guys make when in a similar situation to you.
1. She doesn’t show obvious interest via text, so you then lose confidence or hope
It’s only natural that if a guy sends his ex woman a feeler text to say hi and see how she’s been since the break up and she doesn’t reply, or responds with something like, “I’m fine” or, “What do you want?” he’s going to feel a bit put off and like she’s not interested in getting back with him.
He might then think to himself, “Well, I guess I gave it a shot, but it didn’t turn out the way I was hoping. She’s clearly no longer interested in me, so I should just accept that it’s over and try to forget her and move on, even though I really don’t want to.”
Yet, thinking like that only causes him to lose confidence in himself and in his value and attractiveness to her, which isn’t going to help him get her back (or get another woman if he wants to).
Here’s the thing…
Just because your ex doesn’t respond enthusiastically the first time you text her, it doesn’t mean she’s totally closed off to the idea of giving you another chance.
Instead, she may be smiling and thinking things like, “Yes! He’s finally gotten in touch with me.”
Of course she may also be thinking, “Why is that jerk contacting me? Doesn’t he know that I never want to talk to him ever again?”
Either option is possible, but you’ll never know if you lose confidence in yourself and give up right away.
So, don’t make that mistake and end up missing out on your chance of getting back with your ex because you didn’t have confidence in yourself in that moment.
You’ve got to believe in yourself and in your value to her first, before she will see you as being good enough for her too.
Even if she doesn’t make it super easy for you right away, don’t give up.
Remain confident, reactivate her sexual and romantic feelings for you and get her back.
Another mistake to avoid making is…
2. She shows interest in texting you initially, but then loses interest after a while
Most women are polite, even when it comes to an ex guy.
So, it’s quite possible that your ex will respond to you if you text her.
However, if you just continue to text back and forth with her about irrelevant things and never do anything to spark her feelings and begin re-attracting her, she will likely begin thinking things like, “What does he want? Why is he wasting my time with all this pointless texting? I think I’ve indulged him long enough. From now on, I’m just going to ignore him.”
Why does she do that?
Essentially because he’s not doing anything to make her feel attracted.
He’s not calling her on the phone.
He’s not meeting up with her in person.
He’s just texting her and hoping that something will come of that.
Yet, that’s not how a woman’s attraction works.
Instead she needs to be able to hear the tonality of his voice, observe his body language and experience his confidence so that she can begin feeling drawn to him.
So, don’t waste a lot of time texting your ex in the hopes that she’ll give you a clear sign that she is open to getting back together again.
The point of sending any text to your ex should be to get her on a phone call, where you can actively re-spark some of her feelings of respect and attraction and get her to a meet up with you so that you can get her back for real.
If you don’t do that, she will likely just get bored or annoyed with you and then getting her to open back up again will be a lot more difficult for you.
Another mistake to avoid making is…
3. She’s hoping that you call her and actually get her back, but when you just keep texting, she goes cold
Once again, a woman doesn’t want to randomly text back and forth with her ex if it’s not going to lead to a phone call or a meet up.
So, after a while, if the guy doesn’t call her, a woman might stop texting him, respond to him in an offish manner or take really long to reply to him.
In some cases, a woman like that may be hoping that her attitude towards him will show her ex that she doesn’t want to text and wants him to call her instead.
However, if he doesn’t do that and instead interprets her coldness as disinterest, he may end up giving up on the idea of getting her back and as a result, lose her forever.
Here’s the thing though…
It’s always hard to tell exactly how a woman is feeling and what she is thinking by reading her text, which is why it’s always better to call and just get the job done.
So, don’t waste time texting your ex, accidentally or on purpose and just pick up the phone, re-attract her, meet up with her and get her back for real.
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