It depends on the following:
1. Does her mom still respect you and trust you with her daughter?
Sometimes, a guy will have had a positive relationship with his ex’s family.
They approved of him being in their daughter’s life and possibly even imagined him becoming their son-in-law one day.
So, if their daughter breaks up with him, a family like that will sometimes feel like they should help in some way.
Additionally, if the breakup wasn’t his fault (e.g. he didn’t cheat, lie or hurt her in any way), then they may feel even more compelled to do something.
So, if you had a good relationship with your ex’s mom, then she might want to help you and her daughter work things out.
However, she will have to be convinced that you didn’t stuff up, or hurt her daughter too much.
If you did mess up, then her mom will almost certainly want to see that you’ve taken steps to level up and become a better man, before she will interfere in her daughter’s life on your behalf.
For example: If your ex broke up with you because you were too jealous and controlling, her mom won’t be willing to encourage her to get back into a relationship like that.
This is why, you will have to first be able to prove to her mom (and then to your ex if she gives you another chance), that you really have become a more emotionally mature man than before.
If you remain stuck at the same level you were at before, her mom will almost certainly want to stay out of her daughter’s business.
Additionally, you also need to consider that no matter how close you and your ex’s mom might have been in the past, at the end of the day, her loyalty will usually be to her child, not to her child’s ex.
So, unless your ex is clearly the one who stuffed up, getting her mom involved in getting her back is probably not a good idea.
A better approach is to quickly change your approach to attraction, interact with her and reawaken her sexual and romantic feelings for you.
If you do that correctly, she will want to give you another chance because it will feel like the right thing to do for her.
Another thing to consider before you call your ex’s mom to help you get her daughter back is…
2. Has your ex broken up with you for an unusual reason that isn’t really your fault?
A woman might sometimes break up with her guy for reasons that are not his fault.
For example: Some of those reasons might be…
- There was a death in her family and she’s struggling to cope with it, which makes being in a relationship at the same time seem too stressful to her right now.
She’s under a lot of pressure at work or university and can’t deal with the responsibilities of being in a relationship as well. - She’s going through a big life-changing event (e.g. she lost her job, failed her exams, has been diagnosed with a serious illness) and she needs time to process all of this on her own.
- She’s getting relocated because of her work.
- She received a scholarship to study abroad or at a university that’s in another state.
In a case like this, your ex’s mom might be willing to help you get her daughter back.
However, at the same time, she may also feel that her daughter is a big girl and can make her own decisions about what she wants.
Additionally, if your ex is going through a really stressful time in her life, putting more pressure on her to get back with you could propel her in the opposite direction instead (i.e. make her pull away from you more).
She might then start wondering things like, “He’s being so pushy and insensitive towards me right now. He just doesn’t get how difficult this is for me. Instead, all he can think about is what he wants. Maybe this breakup was just what I needed to see the real version of him. Right now, he’s only convincing me that he’s not the kind of man I want to be with after all.”
This is why, if that’s not the type of reaction you want to create in her, it’s better that you approach getting her back in a way that will make her want you more, rather than less.
So, what should you do instead of calling your ex’s mom to help you get her daughter back?
You can…
Start by telling her that you accept the breakup.
For example: You might say something along the lines of, “Even though I really do still care for you and want you to be my girl, I realize that right now you need for this break up to happen. So, I want you to know that I accept your decision and I promise not to push you into anything you don’t want. However, that doesn’t mean we can’t still be friends, right? We can still text, talk on the phone and maybe even catch up over a cup of coffee once in a while to say hi as friends. It will be fun.”
By saying that to her, not only are you taking the pressure off her to have to deal with an emotional, desperate ex trying to get her back, on top of what’s going on in her life, it also boosts her feelings of respect for you as a man.
From there, use your interactions with her to begin making her feel attracted in new and exciting ways (e.g. by being more emotionally masculine around her, taking the lead during interactions so she feels like she can relax around you and be herself, being more manly and emotionally strong).
The more you spark her sexual and romantic feelings for you, the more she will be willing to reconnect with her feelings of love again.
This will then cause her to begin feeling the pain of losing you.
She will then naturally begin to consider the possibility of giving you another chance because she wants to, rather than because you or her mom are trying to talk her into it.
Another thing to consider before you call your ex’s mom to help you get her daughter back is…
3. Is your ex still attracted to you?
If your ex doesn’t feel a spark of attraction for you anymore, she’s more likely going to want to be friends with you, rather than your girl and no one can change how she feels except you.
So, rather than call her mom to help you get her back, a better approach would be for you to use interactions that you have with her to re-spark her feelings of sexual attraction for you again.
One of the best ways to do that is to use flirting to create some sexual tension between you.
Some guys who read this section will think, “I can’t do that! It’s not my place to flirt with her anymore, or joke around and make her feel attracted. What if she gets angry with me and accuses me of crossing the line of what is acceptable between ex’s. She may then refuse to talk to me or see me again and I won’t be able to get her back. I can’t take that risk.”
Yet, what guys like that don’t realize is that flirting makes women feel attracted… especially when they are your ex.
An ex woman will act as though it’s not working on her, but it will be.
So, don’t be afraid to flirt with your ex and make her feel that all-important spark of attraction with you again.
So what should you do?
Imagine that you and your ex are meeting up at a coffee shop to say hello in person as friends.
The biggest mistake you can make is to sit around being on your best behavior with her and hoping that if she notices what a nice, sweet guy you’re being, she will suddenly change her mind about the breakup.
Instead, focus on making her laugh and smile and feel good to be seeing you again.
Basically, you’re having a normal conversation, while at the same time adding in some humor to lighten the mood and make her feel more at ease.
Then, when she seems to be relaxed and even enjoying herself, you can say something along the lines of, “By the way… is that a new lip gloss you’re wearing? It makes your lips look very kissable.”
Then, just continue with your previous conversation as if nothing happened.
Women love those sorts of compliments because it’s the reason why women wear lip gloss in the first place.
So, occasionally flirt with her during the conversation to build up the sexual tension between you and her.
Then, if she seems to be open and is giving you signs that she’s sexually attracted to you (e.g. touching you repeatedly on the hand/arm/leg, licking her lips, playing with her hair/throat/necklace) just lean in and give her a quick kiss on the lips.
If she doesn’t pull away, deepen the kiss and keep turning her on.
From there, if she’s still open to it, hook up with her sexually at your place or hers and blow her mind.
The more you make her feel attracted to you in ways that you never have before, the more she will regret breaking up with you.
You can then gently guide her back into a relationship with you and show her that things really are different this time around (i.e. because you’ve leveled up as a man and can now make her feel attracted like never before).
Another thing to consider before you call your ex’s mom to help you get her daughter back is…
4. Did she break up with you due to her not feeling like she was in love with you anymore?
If your ex had lost touch with her feelings of love, respect and attraction for you, then nothing her mother says to her is going to make her change her mind.
The truth is, only you can change her mind by changing how she feels.
So, have to make sure that from this point onwards, you say and do the types of things that will spark her sexual and romantic feelings for you.
If you’re unsure of how to do that, here are some questions to ask yourself to help you understand what it will take to make your ex reconnect with her feelings for you:
For example: When interacting with your ex…
- Do you make her smile, laugh and feel happy to be around you, or do you make her feel tense, stressed out and like she wants to get away from you as quickly as possible?
- Do you make her feel feminine and girly in contrast to your masculine way of talking and behaving, or does she feel more like a platonic friend or big sister to you?
- Is she able to relax fully into thinking, acting, behaving and feeling like a real woman around you, or does she feel more like the man because she has to be the one who leads and makes all the decisions for the both of you?
- Are you emotionally strong and confident around her, regardless of what she says or does (e.g. she pretends that she isn’t interested in you anymore) or do you feel nervous and insecure?
- Do you make her feel like she needs to impress you to keep you interested in her by being a bit of a challenge, or are you too easy-going and predictable so she feels like she can treat you any way she wants, knowing that you will always chase after her.
- Do you feel happy and content in your life with or without her (i.e. because you have your own interests, friends, hobbies and dreams), or can she see that you’re just sitting around waiting to get her back and you don’t really care about anything else?
When you understand what really turned your ex off about you, you can take action on improving those things about yourself right now.
Then, the next time you interact with her, over the phone and especially in person, you will be able to give her the type of attraction experience she really wants in a relationship.
When she can see for herself that you’re now at a different level and have become the man she always wanted you to be (e.g. you make her feel understood, you’re more confident and self-assured, more emotionally masculine in your thinking, attitude and behavior, more emotionally independent, more of a challenge), she will automatically begin to reconnect with her feelings for you.
She then becomes open to interacting with you more often, to see where things go from there.
Additionally, when you ex’s mom notices that you’re making her daughter smile and feel happy again, she will likely encourage her to give you another chance, without any prompting from you.
Another thing to consider before you call your ex’s mom to help you get her daughter back is…
5. Is her mom very protective of her, or do you think she might become concerned and protective if you call?
Regardless of how much a woman likes her daughter’s guy, at the end of the day, her first priority will be her child’s well being.
So, if your ex’s mom is the overprotective type, or will become that way if she senses that her daughter is in emotional pain and you’re the cause of it, chances are, she’s not going to help you get your ex back.
Instead, she may even encourage her daughter to move on and find someone else.
On the other hand, if you interact with your ex and begin reactivating her feelings for you again, then her mom is more likely to support her to get back with you, if she notices that you’re making her happy again.
This is why, focusing on re-sparking your ex’s sexual and romantic feelings for you should be your first concern.
By the way…
Some examples of how you can do that are…
Being more confident and self-assured about your attractiveness and value to her, rather than feeling insecure and anxious around her, especially when she’s being cold, aloof or saying things like, “It’s over between us and you need to accept it,” or “I just don’t have feelings for you anymore.”
Adding to your strengths and improving your weaknesses, rather than staying at the same level you were at when she broke up with you and expecting her to just be happy with that.
Seeing yourself as being more than good enough for her, rather than thinking she’s out of your league and giving her power over you as a result.
Improving your ability to make her feel like a sexy, desirable woman in your presence, rather than making her feel like a neutral friend, or worse, nothing at all.
Being more manly in how you think, talk, act and behave, rather than allowing her to dominate you with her confident personality.
Being more of a challenge to her so she feels motivated to try and impress you to keep you interested in her, rather than being too nice and predictable so she feels like she doesn’t have to make any effort at all and she’d still get her way with you.
When you start making your ex feel sexually attracted to you again, she naturally opens back up to you because interacting with you feels good to her again.
It’s then not necessary to ask her mom to help you get her back, because she already wants you back for her own reasons (e.g. she has reconnected with her feelings of respect and attraction for you, she doesn’t want to walk away and end up regretting it later on).
You can then gently guide her back into a relationship with you and enjoy the good times ahead.
Another thing to consider before you call your ex’s mom to help you get her daughter back is…
6. Will your ex feel angry and resentful at you for getting her mom involved in the breakup?
Some daughters have a really good relationship with their mom and will often take her advice when it comes to matters of the heart (i.e. her boyfriend).
However, that’s usually the case if she is the one asking her mom for advice.
When it comes to a woman’s ex calling her mom behind her back and asking for her help to get them back together, she might not be as willing to listen.
In fact, chances are high that she will instead get annoyed with her mom for sticking her nose in her business and it may even lead to them fighting about it.
Additionally, a woman is almost certainly going to get irritated with her ex for going behind her back to try and make her change her mind, rather than being a man about it and taking action himself.
Of course, causing problems between your ex and her mom, or making her angry with you just because you want her back, is something you most likely don’t want to do.
So, the best approach is to just be courageous enough to take action right now.
Call her or meet up with her, re-attract her (e.g. by making her laugh and smile and feel good to be around you again, showing her via your attitude, actions and behavior that you’ve leveled up as a man, making her feel sexy and desirable in your presence) and get her back.
3 Things You Might Be Overlooking By Focusing on Getting Your Ex’s Mom to Help
Before you decide whether it’s a good or bad idea to call your ex’s mom for help, consider the following 3 mistakes that guys make in situations similar to yours.
1. Not realizing that even though her mom might have been nice to him when he was a boyfriend to her daughter, at the end of the day, he isn’t family
Many parents know that boyfriends will come and go from their daughter’s life, before she eventually finds the one.
So, if their daughter decides that the guy she was with wasn’t the right guy for her, her parents will rarely interfere with her decision and try to convince her back into a relationship she doesn’t want.
Instead, they’re more likely to help her get over her ex and move on as quickly as possible with someone else.
The reason why is that family always comes first in the end.
It may not seem that way when things are good, but it always turns out that way.
2. Not realizing that some parents are nice to their daughter’s boyfriend, but secretly hope the relationship will end
Parents don’t always like the guy their daughter is dating.
However, most parents realize that if they show their disapproval and dislike while their daughter is madly in love with the guy, it will hurt her feelings and create tension within the family.
Additionally, it might force her to stay in the relationship with him a lot longer than she initially intends to, just to spite them.
For these reasons, most parents will be nice and friendly towards a woman’s boyfriend to his face, while secretly hoping that he gets dumped.
So, naturally, when their daughter does break up with the guy, him phoning her mom to ask for help to get her daughter back will likely backfire.
Instead of putting in a good word for him, her mother will likely just encourage her to move on and find a new man.
The next thing guys tend to overlook in situations similar to yours is…
3. Not realizing that he can shortcut the ex back process and get her back quickly by avoiding getting her parents involved
You can ask your ex’s mom for help in getting her daughter back, or you can be a man about it and make it happen on your own.
In fact, you just need to contact her and maintain your confidence regardless of what she says to you (e.g. she tells you that she’s not interested in you anymore).
Then use ballsy humor to make her laugh, smile and feel good to be interacting with you.
When you do that, even if she tries to fight it, she won’t be able to stop herself from feeling some respect for you again.
When she respects you, she also starts to feel attracted to you and then all it takes is for you to show her that you really have leveled up as a man and she won’t be able to stop herself from opening back up to you.
You then simply need to guide her through the final steps of the process, until she’s back in your arms and feeling happier and more fulfilled than ever before.
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