Absolutely not.
Here are 5 of the most common reactions women have when an ex man tries to show how sad he is about the break up:
1. She loses respect for him for being so emotionally dependent on her and the relationship
Sometimes a guy makes the mistake of thinking that if his ex sees that he’s sad and struggling to cope without her, she will feel flattered and possibly even think something along the lines of, “I never realized I meant so much to him. He must really love me. Maybe I was too impulsive when I broke up with him. I feel sorry for him too. He’s clearly hurting. The poor guy. Maybe I should give him another chance.”
Yet, here’s the thing…
Even though a woman does like the idea of a guy who is loving, caring and committed to her, she also needs him to be his own man (i.e. emotionally independent, forward moving in his life regardless of whether she is with him or not).
So, if a woman gets a sense that her ex is sad and needs her back to feel happy and fulfilled in life, rather than feeling pleased by his emotional dependence on her, she feels more turned off by him. Why?
A woman doesn’t want to be a man’s main purpose and be responsible for making him feel happy, confident and stable in life.
She wants him to maintain those things on his own and to do them for his own reasons, rather than needing her in his life to be able to feel that way.
In other words, women don’t want a needy guy, especially after dumping him.
Women want a guy who can he happy, confident and forward moving in life with or without her.
That is what is attractive to an ex woman.
So, showing your ex that you’re sad without her will almost certainly just turn her off.
Of course, there’s nothing wrong with feeling sad.
You’re allowed to feel sad.
You just shouldn’t show it to her.
Additionally, if she asks if you are sad, you can simply say, “I was a bit sad initially of course, but I then accepted the break up and now it’s totally fine. You and I are finished as a couple, but we can still friends though. We’re mature enough to do that, right?”
She then feels as though she is being rejected because you aren’t holding on anymore.
She feels like she has lost that power over you.
As a result, in almost all cases, a woman will then want to reel her ex guy back in by saying something like, “Well, I don’t know about you, I still feel a bit sad at times” or, “So, you don’t miss me?”
To the first comment, you can jokingly say something like, “That’s because you’re a softy” and to the question, “Of course I don’t miss you. Heck, I don’t even remember your name” and then laugh.
Of course, you are only joking in both of those cases.
What does joking with her and having the confidence to joke with her do in a moment like that?
It makes her feel attracted to you.
When a woman feels attracted to you, her guard comes down and you can then begin the quick and easy process of seducing her back into a relationship, or at least getting her to meet up with you and hook up with you one last time.
That’s how men get their ex women back all over the world.
It’s fast, natural and it works, but you have to have the balls to do it and then follow through on it until she is back in your bed, hugging you, kissing you and wanting to be close with you.
So, don’t show your sadness.
Show things that will make her feel attracted to you.
Another thing that can happen when an ex guy tries to show how sad he is about the break up is…
2. Guys who have more confidence or higher self esteem than him, suddenly seem very attractive and appealing to her
Imagine this…
A woman has broken up with a guy and every time she interacts with him (e.g. over the phone or in person), he gives off a “pity me” kind of vibe.
In other words, he’s sad, dejected and melancholy, acts like his world has ended now that they are no longer together and is hoping that she takes pity on him and then gives him another chance because of it.
Yet, feeling pity for a sad, rejected man doesn’t make a woman feel attracted to him.
Women are attracted to confidence and emotional strength in men.
So, when she interacts with new men who are more confident than her ex, they naturally seem way more attractive to her than he does.
She can then begin to think, “At times, I’ve been doubting if I made the right decision to break up with him, but now I see now that I’ve made the right decision. I don’t want a wimp, I want a man. My ex is just not the kind of man I want to be with, especially now that I see there are so many guys out there who I find so much more confident than him. I’m not going back to him now. I’ve got to move on.”
She will then try to distance herself from him even further (e.g. she stops responding to his texts, unfriend’s him on social media, stops meeting up with him).
At the same time, she will open herself up to meeting, hooking up with, dating and even falling in love with a new man who displays the kind of confidence that women universally find attractive (i.e. what I call Independent Confidence, where a man is confident regardless of what people say or do around him, or what is happening in his life. This is in contrast to Dependent Confidence, where a man can only feel confident if people are being nice to him or if things are going his way in life).
So, here’s the thing…
Feeling sad without your ex is understandable, but you can’t let that show up in your behavior, conversation style, body language or vibe in any way.
If you let her sense that you’re feeling lost without her, you will literally be doing the opposite of what a man needs to do to get an ex woman back (i.e. get her respect back, make her feel attracted again, cause her to fall back in love with him).
She will then feel more attracted to other men, which can make it difficult for you to get her back.
On the other hand, when you are able to display and let her experience your newfound level of confidence, most other guys seem less attractive in comparison to you.
She then begins to worry that she may have made a huge mistake in breaking up with you, because it’s going to be very difficult for her to find a man who has the level of confidence that you now have.
At the very least, she will be curious to see if your newfound confidence is real and will want to interact with you.
If it is, then she will suddenly feel a tremendous amount of respect and attraction for you, even if she doesn’t want to.
Attraction is something that happens automatically.
It’s an automatic reaction to attractive traits.
So, let her sense and experience your confidence, not your sadness or weakness.
Another common reaction that a woman might have when an ex guy tries to show how sad he is about the break up is…
3. She feels stronger than him emotionally, which turns her off even more
When in a relationship, a woman wants to feel safe and protected by her man, based on his emotional strength.
So, if a woman senses that she is emotionally stronger than her boyfriend (fiance or husband), it will turn her off at a deep level.
Additionally, if she was already emotionally stronger during the relationship, dumped him and then notices that he had become even weaker emotionally, then she will be doubly turned off.
So, if you show your ex that you’re sad without her, rather than making her regret breaking up with you and want to give you another chance, you will simply turn her off.
Remember: Attraction is an automatic reaction.
It’s not a conscious thing where she thinks something like, “He’s sad without me and that is unattractive to me, so therefore I will lose attraction for him now.”
Instead, she simply feels turned off and it happens without her having to do anything about it.
So, if you begin projecting a more confident, emotionally independent energy from now on, she will naturally begin to feel sparks of respect for you again, even if she doesn’t want to feel it.
Secretly, she will be impressed that you are being an emotionally strong, independent man who is handling the break up in such a mature way (i.e. you’re not showing her that you’re sad and lost without her).
As a result, she will automatically begin thinking about you in a more positive way, which will cause her to open up to feeling a newfound respect for you.
When she starts respecting you again, she will also start to feel some sexual attraction and that is the opening you need to begin getting her back for real.
Why?
Without sexual attraction, there is no boyfriend-girlfriend relationship.
It’s the core of everything.
Without sexual attraction, there can be no romantic love.
Romantic love comes from sexual attraction and is then built on with respect and connection.
Without sexual attraction, she might feel some love for you as a friend, or have nice feelings for you as a nice ex, but that won’t get her back.
If you want her back, you have to approach this in a way that causes her to have sexual and romantic feelings for you.
Another common reaction that a woman might have when an ex guy tries to show how sad he is about the break up is…
4. She worries that if she did get back with him, she would have to continually put in loads of effort to make him feel emotionally secure
That is exhausting for a woman.
She just doesn’t want to take on the task of becoming a guy’s cheerleader to make him stronger, especially after she has dumped him.
For a woman to feel respect and sexual attraction for a man, she has to feel as though he is the man and she is his girl.
The masculine-feminine dynamic is an ancient dynamic that still applies in today’s modern, civilized world.
It doesn’t matter how independent or successful the woman is.
At the end of the day, she wants to be with a man who has the emotional strength to make her feel like a girl in comparison to him.
This is why, if her ex guy appears sad without her, rather than thinking, “Wow, I never realized it before, but he really does love me and need me! That’s all I want a need in a man. That’s it! It’s so obvious to me now because I see the effect our break up is having on him. He’s just so sad without me. I feel so touched. Maybe I should give him another chance. After all, what if I never find another guy who will love me as much as he does? I want to be loved and appreciated and clearly I will get that from him,” she instead perceives him as being emotionally weaker than her and feels turned off.
She knows that if she gave him another chance, she would have to constantly be aware of taking care of his sensitive emotional state.
This will cause her to see him more as a child in comparison to her, rather than a man she can look up to, respect and submit to sexually.
As a result, her sexual attraction will switch off and she will stop thinking, acting and behaving like the feminine woman she wants to be in a relationship and instead, start wearing the pants in the relationship like a man.
Yet, that’s not what she wants.
Regardless of how independent or successful she is in her life and even, regardless of what she says (i.e. She says that he needs to listen to her and do what she wants or else), the reality is that she doesn’t want to be the boss in her relationship with a man.
Of course, there are some women who like being more emotionally dominant than their man (usually very unattractive women, or average looking women who are secretly terrified of being in a relationship with a guy who might dump them, so they get into a relationship with a man who needs them), but most women don’t want that at all.
Most women want to be with an emotionally strong man who takes the lead in the relationship (emotionally, physically) and allows her to relax into thinking, acting and behaving like a feminine woman.
In other words, she gets to be his girl.
That’s what women really want, but they will rarely openly admit it because they don’t want people looking down on them, judging them and so on.
Yet, if you look at the women who are the happiest and most in love with their man in a relationship, you will notice that the dynamic is balanced in a way where he is the man and she is his girl.
They love and respect each other equally, but when it comes to dominance, he is the more dominant one.
So, if you show your ex how sad you are without her, you may end up making her feel that if she got back with you, she would have to hold your hand and guide you through life like you’re a hurt, little boy.
Of course, you’re not a hurt, little boy.
You’re a man.
Yet, if you show her sadness and emotionally weakness, she won’t look at you as a man.
She might be nice to you and show you some fake pity, but secretly she will be thinking something like, “What a pussy. I need a real man and he isn’t it. I’ve got to move on. Don’t get back with him. Move on!”
She then tries hard to meet new guys, opens herself up to them and quickly begins dating and falling and love.
She does her absolute best to create as much emotional distance between her and her ex as possible.
On the other hand, when you focus on re-attracting her, she does her absolute best to hint at, suggest or even ask to meet up with you so she can experience more of you.
When you’re re-attracting in her person, you are then just one move away from hugging and then kissing, having sex and getting back together, or at least just seeing each other for a while to see how things go from there.
Another common reaction that a woman might have when an ex guy tries to show how sad he is about the break up is…
5. She feels turned off that he can’t attract new women and is lost without her
Women don’t go around openly admitting this, but they do feel attracted to men that can easily attract other women.
For men, it doesn’t work the same way.
A man will feel attracted to a woman instantly based on her physical appearance and won’t care at all if other men want her.
He will want her.
Yet, because most of a woman’s attraction for a man is based on things other than physical appearance (i.e. confidence, social intelligence, charisma, masculine energy, charm), women do care if other women find a guy attractive.
To a woman, if other women (especially other attractive women) find a guy attractive, it means that those women have interacted with him and discovered that he does have the kind of qualities that women look for.
The traits that make a guy attractive are mostly things you can’t see with the naked eye.
A woman has to interact with a guy and discover those qualities to then feel truly attracted to him.
This is why, if you show your ex that you’re sad without her, it causes her to lose attraction for you based on not being able to easily attract new women and as a result, feeling totally dependent on her.
Most women don’t admit that, but it’s what they secretly think and feel.
After all, why would they admit it?
Imagine a woman saying, “Yeah, I like a guy who could easily attract other women, so I then feel special that he has chosen me.”
People would say to her, “No, don’t think that of yourself. He should feel lucky to have you because you’re amazing.”
As a result, women just don’t go around admitting what really makes them feel attracted because they would be judged for it.
As a man, you have to understand what really attracts a woman and then display that, otherwise women just won’t feel it for you.
Being able to attract other women doesn’t mean that you have to begin dating.
Instead, it means that you shouldn’t be showing her that you’re lost, lonely or sad without her because that will automatically switch her attraction off.
After a break up, a woman wants to see if you will become more attractive to her and therefore cause her to want you back, or if you will become less attractive to her and therefore cause her to feel as though she has made the right decision to break up with you.
This is why, when a woman breaks up with a guy, she will keep tabs on him (e.g. via social media or through mutual friends) to see how he’s coping without her and if he’s moving on.
A lot of guys actually hope their ex woman checks their social media or asks friends, so she can then find out how sad and hopeless he is feeling without her.
Yet, that is a huge mistake.
What works is when a woman sees that you are confident, happy and enjoying life without her.
3 Mistakes to Avoid if You Want Her Back
There is an easy way to get her back without showing how sad you are without her.
The easy way is to focus on attraction.
It’s simple, natural, automatic and it works.
Unfortunately, many guys don’t understand how to their ex woman back, so they end up making one or more of the following mistakes…
1. Posting up lonely status updates on social media
A guy appearing or even possibly seeming to be lonely is not attractive to women and is especially not attractive to an ex woman.
In terms of photos, this includes photos of yourself alone, landscapes, your pet, food you’re eating and so on.
Here’s the thing…
Posts like that are fine in normal circumstances, but not when getting an ex back.
She needs to see that you are happy, confident and enjoying life around other people, not hanging out on your own.
If she senses that it’s just you on your own, she can assume that…
- You’re not moving forward in life and are stuck at the same level you were at when she broke up with you.
- You’re lonely.
- You’ve disconnected from your friends.
- You’re hopefully trying to make her feel sorry for you.
- You haven’t been able to attract other women since she left you.
- You are going to be single and alone for a long time as you try to heal from the break up.
Of course, none of those things might be true about you, but she can assume them based on how you were behaving leading up to, during and shortly after the break up.
If she senses that you’re broken without her, then she will feel better about her decision to remain broken up with you.
So, if you’re going to post on social media, make sure that you only post about positive, fun-filled events in your life (e.g. a party you went to, something exciting you did over the weekend) and make sure that you include some photos of you smiling and looking happy with other people, including other women if possible.
You don’t have to be dating those women, but merely having other women around is enough to make an ex woman look at you in a more positive light and begin to feel some attraction for you.
Additionally, when your ex sees that you’re not feeling sad and lost without her, she becomes curious as to why you could be so happy and confident.
That causes her to want to interact with you.
You can then use the interactions you have with her to reactivate her feelings and get her back.
So, don’t post up sad things on social media or even hint at being sad, alone, bored or anything like that.
The next mistake to avoid is…
2. Not understanding the science of attraction and using it to your advantage
According to a study featured in New Scientist, it was determined that 90% of single women were interested in a man who they believed was taken.
I can back this up based on the more than 15 years of experience I’ve had helping men attract women.
I can also back it up based on what I experience when hooking up with and dating multiple women for more than a decade, before settling down with my pretty, young wife (she was 20 when I met her and I was 35. We now have twin girls).
Women always found me more attractive when they could see that their friends found me attractive.
Additionally, one of the many reasons my wife finds me attractive is the fact that everywhere we go, she can see that women who I interact with instantly find me attractive.
She knows that I could easily hook up with new women, but I won’t do that because I’m committed to her.
The fact that other women want me is one of the many reasons why my wife always puts in effort to keep herself in shape, look pretty and be good to me.
So, I can tell you that it works based on the science, based on helping new guys to attract women and from my own personal experience (as of writing this, I’ve been with my wife for nearly 8 years now).
If you want to re-attract your ex, you need to use the science of attraction your advantage.
Let her sense that you could easily attract other women now.
She will pick up on it based on how you now interact with her (i.e. you use attraction techniques, such as flirting or playfully challenging humor, when you interact with her).
If she currently just sees you as a friend now, you will instantly change that feeling in her by using attraction techniques…
So, make sure that you understand and use the science of attraction to your advantage.
Understand that women naturally feel more attracted to men who are already taken, or who seem like the kind of guy who could easily attract other women.
For example: One of the main reasons women naturally feel more attracted to a guy who is taken, is because most women feel that if a guy he is taken, then he must have some of the personality traits and characteristics that are naturally attractive to women (e.g. confidence, emotional strength, emotional masculinity).
On the other hand, according to the same study, only 59% of women were attracted to a man when he was single.
The reason why is that a woman has no evidence that he has the kind of qualities that women really feel attracted to in men.
She is just looking at his appearance, which can make a woman feel attracted, but in almost all cases, a woman will want to interact with a guy to find out what kind of guy he is.
If he is insecure, hesitant, surpasses his masculinity to be nice and seems to be emotionally weak, then most women will immediately lose interest even though he has good physical features.
So, if you want to get your ex back for real, then do it the easy way by using the science of attraction to your advantage.
It’s simple, automatic and it works.
On the other hand, seeking pity from her is also simple, but it doesn’t work.
The next mistake to avoid is…
3. Not realizing that pity isn’t what drives a woman to feel sexually attracted to a guy and compelled to commit to him again after a break up
Pity is not the kind of emotion that generates feelings of attraction and respect inside of a woman.
Instead, it makes a woman want to pat a guy on the back and treat him like a boy.
When a woman sees a man as a boy, her attraction instantly switches off.
She want a man, not a boy in a man’s body.
To get her to look at you as being a man, you have to let her see that even though you do want her back, you don’t need her back to feel good about yourself.
You are confident, happy and moving forward in life.
You love her and have good memories of the times you spent together, but you’re not stuck there.
You’re not falling apart without her.
You’re not an emotionally weak man.
You are an emotionally strong man.
You can re-attract her and make her feel lucky to be getting back with you.
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