It depends on how bad the break up was, if the woman still feels attracted to you and what the thank you is for.
For example: Here are 5 possible reactions from a woman when her ex man thanks her for the relationship, for teaching him valuable lessons or for being a great girlfriend to him:
1. She doesn’t care because she’s no longer attracted to him or in love with him
Although you might be 100% sincere when thanking your ex girlfriend for breaking up with you, if she no longer has feelings for you, she’s likely not going to care that much about it.
Instead, she’s probably just going to roll her eyes and think something along the lines of, “Blah! Blah! Blah! Why is he wasting my time?”
It might not sound like a very nice response to you, but think about it this way…
If you’ve ever been contacted by a woman that you were no longer attracted to, you will know how little you felt when reading her words.
Rather than make you feel drawn to her and think things like, “She seems so nice. Maybe I should give her another chance with me,” you more likely thought something like, “Why won’t she just leave me alone? What do I have to do to get through to her? I don’t want to be mean to her, but right now I feel that’s the only way to make it clear that I’m not interested in her anymore in the way that she wants.”
Well, that’s how your ex might feel when you thank her.
So, what should you do instead?
If you don’t want her back, you should just accept the break up, move on and find yourself another woman to be with who loves and appreciates you in the way that you deserve.
On the other hand, if you want her back, a better approach than thanking her for breaking up with you, is to interact with her and make her feel attracted to you again.
In other words, forget about being overly emotional with her in the hope that she will be impressed with you for being so nice to her and give you another chance and focus on doing the types of things that will spark her feelings for you.
For example: Use interactions with her to…
- Make her laugh and smile and feel good to be talking to you again.
- Flirt with her to create sexual tension between you and her so she feels motivated to hug, kiss and have sex with you again.
- Show her that you’ve leveled up as a man and no longer turn her off in the ways you did before.
- Give her an upgraded attraction experience and make her feel drawn to you in new and exiting ways.
- The more you reactivate her sexual and romantic feelings for you, the more interested she will become in giving you another chance.
On the other hand, if all you do is thank her for breaking up with you and then hope this will make her want you back, you may end up being very disappointed when she says something like, “Cool, thanks,” and then walks away and finds herself a new man.
Another possible reaction a woman might have when her ex thanks her is…
2. She does care and appreciates the fact that her ex has had the courage to thank her for being such a great girlfriend to him
Quite often a woman will break up with a guy, because she feels as though he’s taking her for granted.
In other words, his actions, behavior and attitude makes her feel unloved, unappreciated and undervalued.
So, if after the break up he takes the time to thank her for everything she did for him in the relationship, it will likely go a long way in making her forgive him.
Of course, just because your ex might appreciate your gesture, it doesn’t mean she’s going to just open up and want to be your girl again.
For that to happen, you’re going to have to reactivate her feelings of respect and attraction for you first.
You’re also going to have to show her via your attitude, actions, behavior and conversation style that you’re a new man now and that if she gives you another chance, you’re not going to go back to making the same old attraction mistakes as before.
Some examples of how to do that are:
Maintaining your confidence when talking to her, regardless of what she says or does to make you feel uncertain of yourself (e.g. she’s cold or sarcastic towards you and says things like, “Well you’ve thanked me now, so what do you want from me, a pat on the back?”).
Not trying to get her back into a relationship right away and instead, just focusing on building up sexual tension between you by flirting with her.
Making her laugh, smile and feel good when she interacts with you so that she wants to be around you more and more.
Showing her that you’ve changed and matured since you and her broke up and are now a new and improved man.
Not sucking up to her by being extra nice or accommodating (because you’re afraid that if you don’t do whatever she wants she won’t forgive you and give you another chance) and start being more emotionally masculine and ballsy around her (e.g. be a good guy, but don’t be a pushover, stand up to her when she’s out of line, laugh at her in a loving way when she’s behaving like a brat).
Making her feel like a sexy desirable woman in your presence, rather than being neutral or friendly towards her.
The more you reactivate her feelings for you during interactions, the more she will begin to allow herself to relax, smile, laugh and feel good to be around you again.
She then becomes open to forgiving your mistakes and giving you another chance.
Another possible reaction a woman might have when her ex thanks her is…
3. She rolls her eyes when he says it or sends it to her via text, social media message or email
If one of the reasons why a woman broke up with her guy was because she perceived him as being too emotionally weak and wimpy, then it’s very likely that him thanking her for breaking up with him is going to be perceived as another sign of his wussyness.
Then, rather than her taking it as a compliment, or as a sign that he’s being a gentleman about the break up (which may be what he’s aiming for), she will instead roll her eyes at him or at the text/message he sent her.
Of course, he might feel hurt by her reaction (especially if she does it to his face) and he may wonder why she’s being such a bitch to him and not being appreciative of his gracious gesture to her, but here’s the thing…
If a woman has disconnected from her feelings of love, respect and attraction for a guy because he was emotionally weak in the relationship and he then thanks her for the break up, she’s not going to care that he’s being so civil and courteous to her.
Instead, she will likely be thinking something along the lines of, “Really? Even now that I’ve dumped him, he’s still being such a wimp! Instead of manning up and getting a backbone, he’s thanking me for breaking up with him. What real man does that? This just makes it so much easier for me to move on and find someone else. I don’t deny that he’s a nice guy, but he’s really not man enough for me.”
So, if you thank your ex for breaking up with you, make sure she’s not going to take that as a sign of emotional weakness.
If she does, she will inevitably feel that you’re not man enough for her and will then just keep rejecting you.
On the other hand, if you remain in control of your emotions and then confidently focus on using interactions with her (e.g. over the phone and in person) to spark her sexual and romantic feelings for you again, she will automatically begin to see you with different eyes.
Then, she will also appreciate the fact that you’re a gentleman, as long as you’re being an emotionally strong, dominant one.
She will then want to be around you again, because you’re now offering a dream scenario for a woman that is so rare (i.e. being confident and emotionally strong, while also being a good man to her).
So, when your ex senses that you’ve suddenly developed that ability and are not being needy or wimpy, she will naturally feel drawn to you, even if she initially thought that what you and her had together was over for good.
It then becomes easy for you to get her back, because she wants it too.
Another possible reaction a woman might have when her ex thanks her is…
4. She asks why he is thanking her and his reasons seem selfish to her
For example: A guy might respond to her question by saying things like, “I’m thanking you because I feel that you’re an amazing woman and even though you no longer want to be my girl, I’m such a better man because of you. You helped me become the best version of myself and I’m truly grateful to you for that and that’s why I’m thanking you. I just want you to know that I appreciate everything you did for me in the relationship and I will never forget you.”
Yet, rather than make a woman feel good about herself for playing such an important part in his life, she may actually feel annoyed that he’s gained so much from her, while she’s left worse off by the relationship.
She might even say to him something along the lines of, “Well, I’m glad that you feel so good about the relationship. It seems that you got all the benefits, while I got all the crap. It makes me feel as though I was the only one putting in any effort and you were just taking and taking. I see now how selfish you really are. Even now that we’re broken up, all you can think about is yourself and how great everything turned out for you. Well, what about me? What did I get out of this relationship? Oh yeah, I remember now… a self-serving, self-absorbed boyfriend and a broken heart. Well thanks for your gratitude, but you can keep it. You selfish jerk!”
Of course, that’s likely not what the guy was intending at all.
He was probably trying to be a good guy and show her how valuable she was to him.
Yet, when a woman has lost touch with her feelings of respect, attraction and love for him and possibly feels that he wasn’t a good man to her, hearing him praise her and say how great things were because of her, usually only highlights to her that she came off worst from the relationship.
She then feels even more determined to move on and find a man who will make her feel as though she is gaining from the relationship with him, not just him gaining from her.
So, if your motivation to thank your ex for breaking up with you is to impress her so that she will want to give you another chance, be aware that it’s possible that she will take it the wrong way.
If that happens, it becomes more difficult for you to get her back, because she’s closed off towards you.
On the other hand, a better approach is to just use interactions with her to make her smile and laugh and feel good to be around you.
Then, she will feel as though she’s losing by letting go of you.
That then makes her drop her guard around you and open up to seeing if you and her can work things out so that you can get back together again.
Another possible reaction a woman might have when her ex thanks her is…
5. She assumes that he’s trying to manipulate her
In most cases, when a guy thanks a woman for breaking up with him, rather than think something like, “That’s so sweet of him. I feel so flattered that he values me so much, even though we’ve broken up,” a woman will usually take it as a sign that he’s sucking up to her as a way of getting her to give him anther chance.
She will then likely end up thinking things like, “I can’t believe he’s trying to manipulate me! Does he honestly think that thanking me is going to make me feel sorry for him and change my mind about the break up? That’s so immature!”
She might then pull away from him even more.
Here’s the thing…
Even though the guy might be a good guy and probably has good intentions when he thanks her for breaking up with him (e.g. he wants to let her know that he doesn’t have any hard feelings, he wants to show her how much he valued her), a woman usually won’t see it that way. Why?
A woman doesn’t want to be made to feel guilty over her decisions.
If she wants to break up with a guy, she wants to be able to do it without him trying to rub it in her face that he’s so wonderful and loving (i.e. by thanking her), while she’s a bitch for walking away from him.
So, don’t bother thanking your ex woman for breaking up with you if it’s just a ploy to make her feel pity for you as your way of getting her back, because it will most-likely backfire.
Instead, just focus on reawakening her feelings of respect and attraction, so she naturally feels drawn to you and becomes open to giving you another chance.
Avoid These Mistakes if You Decide to Thank Her For Breaking Up With You
If you really feel strongly about thanking your ex, then go ahead and do it.
Just make sure that you do it right.
For example: 3 mistakes to avoid making are…
1. Coming across as cheesy when thanking her
There’s a manly, emotionally strong way to thank an ex woman for breaking up with you and then there’s a cheesy, soppy way of doing it.
If you want to spark some of her feelings of respect and attraction for you again, you need to go for the manly, emotionally strong approach.
On the other hand, if you want to turn her off even more and convince her that she made the right decision by breaking up with you, go ahead and be cheesy (e.g. being too sweet, nice and emotional and making it sound like she was perfect in every way).
Here’s the thing…
If you want to reactivate your ex’s feelings for you again and get her back, you need to show her that you’ve leveled up as a man and are now the kind of guy she always wanted you to be (e.g. confident, emotionally strong, ballsy, sure of yourself and your value to her).
That means maintaining your confidence with her regardless of what she says or does, or how she responds when you thank her.
Then use humor to break down her defenses, reactivate her feelings for you and make her feel as though she will end up regretting it if she doesn’t give you another chance.
The next mistake to avoid making is…
2. Leaving her with a feeling of resentment based on how you thank her
For example: A guy might say things like, “I just wanted to say how much I appreciate the time we had together. You’re a wonderful woman and I’m a better man because I had you in my life. You were always so kind and patient with me, even when I didn’t pull my weight around the house and forgot to take out the garbage, or pick up after myself, or invited my friends over without telling you and then leaving you to clean up after they left. Not only that, you’ve also taught me so much. I can now even cook a few nice meals because of you. You also encouraged me to complete my studies which helped me get a promotion at work. So, for all that and so much more, I want to thank you and say that I only wish you the best from now on. I hope you will always be happy.”
Yet, even though he’s being sincere, she may not see it that way.
Instead, she might actually resent him for getting the better end of the deal.
So while he’s going on about everything he gained, she will likely be thinking things like, “What did I get out of this relationship? Oh yeah! I remember now… a lot of cooking, cleaning and a boyfriend who never contributed to my well being. Now that I see how much I gave and what I got in return, it makes me feel even angrier than I was before! I feel used!”
She might then respond in a bitchy way and tell him to get lost and leave her alone.
The guy will then likely feel confused and hurt by her response to his genuine compliment to her.
Yet, here’s the thing…
No matter how much you value your ex and what she did for you, she’s likely not going to appreciate it when you point it out to her if she feels hard done by you.
The next mistake to avoid making is…
3. Thanking her because you don’t know how else to show her that you’re fine without her
Sometimes, a guy might decide to thank his ex as a way of showing her that he’s not sitting around feeling sad and lost without her.
He might then say things like, “Thank you for breaking up with me. I’m actually rediscovering what fun it is to be single again. I’m finally getting to do a lot of things I had put off because of our relationship. It’s great!”
Yet, here’s the thing…
Although being genuinely happy in your life without your ex can impress her (because women love the idea of being with a man who wants her, but doesn’t need her to be happy and content), making it sound like you’re grateful to her for breaking up with you because your life is so much better without her, isn’t a good idea.
Why?
Rather than be impressed by your newfound emotional independence, your ex will likely assume you’re patronizing her for breaking up with you.
She will then almost certainly perceive you as being arrogant and full of yourself and she may then decide to cut you out of her life completely (e.g. by blocking your number on her phone, unfriending you on social media, refusing to see you in person).
You will then struggle to interact with her (because she’s avoiding you) and then getting her back becomes more difficult for you.
So, if you want your ex to see that even though you want her back, you don’t need her back in order for you to feel good about yourself, there are better ways of letting her know, other than thanking her for breaking up with you (e.g. by posting photos of yourself on social media having fun with other people, letting mutual friends talk about you and what you’re doing through casual conversation with her).
When she notices that you really are happy in your life without her, she won’t be able stop thinking about you in a more positive way, because you’re now behaving like the kind of man she can actually look up to and respect.
All of a sudden, she feels drawn to you in a way that feels good to her and she then naturally and easily becomes open to the idea of getting back together again.
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