It depends.
In most cases, the No Contact Rule doesn’t work because the woman doesn’t have enough feelings for her ex to care that he isn’t contacting her anymore.
So, here are 5 questions to ask yourself to decide whether or not the No Contact Rule applies to your break up:
1. Does she still have strong feelings for you?
If she doesn’t, then she’s probably going to care if you don’t contact her anymore.
In fact, unless a woman still has strong feelings for her ex and is secretly hoping they can get back together again, not hearing from him for 30 or 60 days will actually be a welcome surprise to her.
She may think something like, “Phew! I thought this break up was going to be hard and that he would pester me to give him another chance. Instead, he just disappeared out of my life without me having to turn into a cold, mean bitch to get rid of him. That was easy! Now I can use the time apart to hook up with new guys and get over him.”
Then, if her ex calls her 30 or 60 days later, he might be stunned to find out that she has been enjoying the single life and has met a guy that she is getting serious with.
As a result, not only has he wasted the last 30-60 days of his life worrying and stressing out about his ex potentially moving on, but he has now come to find out that she has moved on.
So, if his confidence had taken a beating from the break up, finding out that she didn’t care that he wasn’t contacting her, will probably ruin his confidence even more.
This is why, in the majority of ex back situations where a man is trying to get a woman back, he shouldn’t use the 30-60 day NC rule.
He should give her 3 to 7 days of space and use that time apart to rapidly improve his ability to attract his ex.
Then, he should contact her, re-attract her and seduce her back into a relationship.
That’s what needs to be done for the majority of ex back cases where a man has been dumped by a woman who no longer wants to be with him.
Of course, in a situation where a woman does have strong feelings for her ex guy and is secretly missing him and wishing they’d get back together, using the No Contact Rule after a break up can get her back.
When she hasn’t heard from him in weeks, she may start to panic and then send him a text, or call him to see what he’s up to.
He can then re-attract her and get her back.
However, even in a case like that (i.e. where the woman is still in love with her ex), the NC rule can also backfire.
For example: She might feel hurt that her ex isn’t contacting her and then decide to hook up with new guys to move on without him.
She may then meet a new guy that she finds more interesting and attractive and then begin to lose interest in her ex.
So, even if your ex still has strong feelings for you at the moment, there’s a much easier and faster way to get her back than using the No Contact Rule.
That way is active re-attraction after giving her 3 to 7 days of space.
When you actively re-attract your ex over the phone and in person, her guard will come down and you can then seduce her back into a relationship with you.
Another question to ask yourself before you use the No Contact Rule to get her back is…
2. Is she only trying to gain power over you by breaking up with you, but still secretly wants to be with you?
Sometimes, a woman will be unsure whether or not her guy is the right man for her.
For example: He might be a really nice guy who treats her well and makes her feel valued and taken care of.
Yet, he’s also too easily swayed by his feelings for her and as a result, he allows her to get away with bad behavior (e.g. when she creates unnecessary drama, she nit-picks about irrelevant things and he then runs around trying to please her, she makes unreasonable demands that he then fulfills to keep her happy).
So, even though she appreciates that he is a good man to her, she also feels turned off by his inability to stand up to her and be more emotionally masculine than her.
Essentially, she wants him to take back the position of power in the relationship, rather than letting her continue to walk all over him.
She may hint at that by saying things like, “You don’t have to do everything I say, you know?” or, “You need to be more confident” or, “Why are you such a wimp at times?” or, “You never stand up for yourself.”
If he fails to recognize what she wants him to change, she will eventually get tired of being with such a pushover of a man.
She will break up with him to see if he will man up and stop being such a pushover.
So, if he realizes that he needs to stop being such a wimp with her and starts being more manly and assertive (in a loving, relaxed manner – not in an aggressive, angry way), she will feel a renewed sense of respect and attraction for him.
However, if he fails to man up, she will force herself to begin getting over him and trying to find herself a guy who can be the man in a relationship with her.
So, if you suspect that your ex is secretly testing to see how you will react to the break up, then using the No Contact Rule can help get her back.
However, don’t waste time ignoring her for 30 or 60 days to make your point that you’re not needy.
What you have to understand is that 7 days of no contact is more than enough time to convince her that you are in control of your emotions and aren’t going to come running back to her, pleading and begging for another chance.
So, ignore her for a week and let her begin to worry that you’ve had enough of her and are going to move on.
During the 7 days apart, focus on having some fun without her (e.g. go out with friends, start a new hobby that involves interacting with other people, do some fun, outdoor activities) and let her find out about it via your social media posts, or through mutual friends.
When she can see that you’re not feeling desperate to get her back, she will automatically respect you.
She may not openly admit it, but she will feel it and it will make her feel drawn to you again.
Another question to ask yourself before you use the No Contact Rule to get her back is…
3. Did you turn her off to the point where she lost interest in hugging you, kissing you or having sex with you?
If your ex ended the relationship because the spark between you and her died out, using the No Contact Rule to get her back will probably backfire.
Since she doesn’t feel attracted to you anymore, she will most likely use the time apart to hook up with a new man that she finds sexually appealing and attractive.
If they share a great connection, they might just get into a relationship, which then leaves you behind in the dust.
So, what should you do instead?
Rather than cutting off contact and hoping that it makes her come running back to you, even though she’s not attracted to you anymore, you should interact with her over the phone and especially in person and rekindle her feelings of sexual and romantic attraction for you.
Another question to ask yourself before you use the No Contact Rule to get her back is…
4. Can she easily move on without you, or do you think she will really struggle to find a new guy?
When a woman feels confident in herself and in her attractiveness to men, being ignored by her ex usually isn’t a big a deal to her because she knows that finding a new guy will be easy for her.
All she has to do is start going to bars or clubs, or put out the word that she’s single again and multiple men will flock to her and hope to get a chance with her.
She can then have her pick of men for dates, sex or a relationship, without ever having to worry about the fact that her ex isn’t contacting her or trying to get her back.
So, while you’re sitting at home waiting for your 30 to 60 days of No Contact to come to an end, she will probably be moving on and feeling great about it.
Of course, if a woman is insecure about her attractiveness and is worried that she won’t be able to find another guy to accept her the way her ex does, she might contact her ex if she doesn’t hear from him for weeks.
Yet, in most cases, a woman can easily find a new guy for sex or a relationship, so she doesn’t have to go running back to a guy that she dumped.
Another question to ask yourself before you use the No Contact Rule to get her back is…
5. How serious was your relationship and how strong was her love for you?
Most relationships start off fairly well, but not all relationships get to the point where both the man and the woman are madly in love with each other.
So, while the relationship might feel good for a while, if it doesn’t get better over time and become more serious and loving, a break up will usually end up happening.
A woman might miss her ex after the break up, but if she realizes that their love wasn’t strong enough and she really wasn’t 100% serious about him, she’s not going to come running back to him.
So, if her ex ignores her for 30 or 60 days, she won’t really worry because she doesn’t see a good future with him anyway.
This is why, in most cases where a guy is trying to get a woman back who dumped him, he should be actively re-attracting her, rather than ignoring her and hoping that it causes her to miss him and want him back.
In some cases, ignoring an ex woman can work (e.g. she can’t move on, she can’t deal with not hearing from him), but in most cases, the woman just moves on because she’s no longer attracted to or in love with her ex.
4 Common Mistakes That Men Make When Using the No Contact Rule
1. Thinking that the No Contact Rule will work on any woman or any relationship
Women aren’t all the same.
Each woman is different.
Therefore, it goes without saying that not all women will react in the same way when a guy ignores them after a break up.
For example: A needy, insecure woman is more likely to fall for the No Contact track compared to a confident, independent woman.
Yet, it doesn’t always work that way.
Sometimes, a needy, insecure woman will try to make herself feel better by going out with her girlfriends, getting drunk and hooking up with a new guy.
She might really like the new guy, begin falling in love with him, get into a relationship with him and forget all about her ex.
Every woman is different, so you shouldn’t just cut off contact and assume that it will work on your ex.
For example: A woman with abandonment issues might come running back to her ex if he ignores her, of she might hate him for doing to her what all the other, unreliable men in her life have done before (e.g. her father left her mother, her ex boyfriend dumped her when she really loved him).
So, as you can see, there’s no guarantee that using the No Contact Rule after a break up to get her back will actually work in your case.
What does work for pretty much every ex back case, is where a man actively re-attracts his ex woman, so she actually has a reason to get back with him now, or very quickly.
The next mistake to avoid is…
2. Losing confidence as he waits weeks or months for her to hopefully contact him
One of the biggest risks that a man faces when using the No Contact Rule to get an ex woman back, is that after waiting a long time for her to come back to him, nothing happens.
She doesn’t text him to say, “I miss you.”
She doesn’t call him to see what he’s up to.
She doesn’t even click like on his social media posts.
She just doesn’t care.
Naturally, that can have a devastating effect on a man’s confidence.
He may begin to really doubt his attractiveness to his ex and to other quality women.
So, don’t waste time using the No Contact Rule and losing your confidence as a result.
If you want her back, believe in yourself and then take action to re-attract her and make it happen now.
The next mistake to avoid is…
3. Not interacting with her and creating a spark of attraction to interrupt the process of her moving on
As you may have realized by now, sitting around waiting for your ex to change her mind about breaking up with you probably isn’t going to work.
On the other hand, if you interact with her and make her laugh, smile and feel good to be talking to you again, she will naturally begin to feel drawn to you again.
When you make her feel that way, her guard comes down and you can then guide her back into a relationship with you now.
By approaching it in that way, you are being active about the situation, rather than passive.
You are making her want you back now and then getting her back, rather than doing nothing and hoping that she wants you back, even though she’s no longer attracted to you or in love with you.
Another mistake that guys often make when in a situation like yours is…
4. Not improving his ability to attract her the next time he interacts with her
Sometimes, a guy will cut off contact with his ex for 30 to 60 days and then contact her.
Yet, she won’t be impressed or interested because he’s using the same old approach to attraction that got him dumped before (e.g. He’s too neutral with her, rather than flirting with her and building up sexual tension. He’s still not more emotionally dominant than her, so she feels as though she can walk all over him. He’s still insecure and doubts his attractiveness to her, so she feels as though she’d be doing him a favor by being with him).
As a result, she refuses to give him another chance.
This is why, if you truly want to get your ex back, make sure that you use the time apart to prepare yourself to properly re-attract her.
Don’t contact her and offer her the same old attraction experience that she got bored of in the relationship.
Make her feel attracted to you in new and interesting ways, so she feels compelled to give you another chance, or at least meet up with you and sleep with you to see how she feels after that.
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