No, there’s no need for games like that.
The best approach is to make her laugh, smile and feel good when talking you to, so she is willing to communicate further and meet up with you.
Making her laugh and smile also gets rid of most of the negative or awkward tension between you, which doesn’t actually need to be there just because you’re broken up.
After all, you and her used to be really into each other and had a lot of fun times together, so don’t mess with that memory.
Just be the kind of guy that she can actually like and want to be around.
If she makes the effort to contact you, it usually means that she’s still interested and is hoping that something happens between you and her again.
Yet, she won’t always come out and say that directly.
For example: Before a woman contacts her ex, she might feel a bit nervous and wonder, “Is this really a good idea? Maybe I should just wait for him to contact me first. What if I call him up and he doesn’t want to talk to me, or he’s cold and aloof towards me? I’d just be making a fool of myself.”
If she then contacts you and you’re being aloof and acting like you don’t even care to be speaking to her again, she might decide to get revenge on you by hooking up with another guy or simply ignoring you and never answering one of your calls or texts ever again.
Unless your aim is to punish her for breaking up with you and then move on without her, there’s no need to be aloof.
If you want her back, you should make it easier for her to talk to you, rather than trying to push her away.
This is why I recommend that guys accept a so called “friendship” with their ex, so the lines of communication remain open and she is willing to meet up with him in person…
When you make her feel relaxed and happy to be talking to you, it becomes a lot easier to wipe away any negative emotions that she might have been holding onto about you.
She then drops her guard and begins to wonder why she broke up with you in the first place.
On the other hand, if you’re cold and aloof towards her and pretending like you’re not interested, she becomes more defensive and closes herself off even more.
She then thinks something like, “Well, that was a huge mistake! I knew that I shouldn’t have even bothered with him. He’s too immature at this point in his life to get me back by being a man about it. Well, I gave it a shot and now I know that it’s just not going to work out between us now. So, it’s time to find myself a new guy.”
So, if you don’t want that to happen, don’t play mind games with her by acting aloof or pretending that you don’t care about her anymore.
For example: Some guys think that acting aloof will make her feel attracted to him because he’s playing hard to get.
Hope hopes that it will make her want to get back together again even more.
Yes, that can work if the woman still has strong feelings for her ex, but if your ex doesn’t feel much or anything for you right now, then acting aloof is almost certainly not going to work.
Instead, it will backfire and she will either move on or completely ignore you from now on.
Of course, most guys don’t realize that and simply hope that it will be an easy trick to use to get her back.
So, he might…
1. Ignore her texts to seem less needy
Some guys are worried about seeming needy, so they ignore an ex even when she’s reaching out to him (e.g. by sending him a text, e-mail, or a message on social media).
A guy might say to himself, “I don’t want my ex to think that I’m a needy guy. If she gets a sense that I’m really happy to hear from her, she will just think that I’m desperate to get her back (which I am), but I don’t want her to know that. However, if I ignore her for a little while, not only will she see that I’m not needy, she will hopefully realize how much she still loves me and she might even start to worry about losing me. Then, she will want to get back with me really quickly.”
So, when he gets a text from his ex, rather than using it as an opportunity to open the lines of communication and re-attract her (e.g. by making her laugh and smile) he instead decides to ignore her.
Secretly, he’s hoping that if she doesn’t get a response from him right away, she will perceive him as being emotionally strong (i.e. because he’s not being needy) and she will then feel attracted to him again and quickly text him back saying something like, “Why won’t you answer me? I really miss you. Please, can we meet up somewhere so that we can talk about our relationship? I really need to see you.”
Wouldn’t it be nice if human psychology were that simple?
Well, it’s not.
Unless a woman is very young and inexperienced with relationships, she’s not going to fall for the old “ignore her and she’ll come running back” trick.
Rather than make her think, “Wow, my ex is so cool! He’s clearly not needy and desperate like other guys. He didn’t even jump at the chance to talk to me again when I contacted him. That’s really amazing! Wow! That makes me respect him so much because he’s not being a needy guy. I want him back NOW!” she will usually just feel disappointed and turned off by his immaturity.
Of course, she might wonder why he isn’t contacting her, but since her feelings of respect and attraction for him aren’t very strong, she will just say to herself, “I can’t believe I bothered to reach out to him and now he’s ignoring me, especially after everything that happened between us. I hope he doesn’t think that I’m sitting around pining for him, or that I desperately want him back. That’s what I get for trying to be nice. Well I’m definitely not chasing after him anymore. I can get a dozen guys to go out with me right away. He’s messed with me for the last time! I will show him who can play games. I will break his little heart when he finds out that I’m happy with another guy and don’t want him back anymore. I’ll show him.”
So, don’t play hard to get with your ex.
If she’s texting you, it could mean that she still has a small spark of feelings left for you in her heart and by ignoring her, you actually cause that spark to go out.
The best way to show your ex that you care without seeming needy is simply not to answer her texts right away.
Waiting for 5 minutes to a few hours is enough time to not be coming across as needy, while at the same time not turning her off by making her feel like you’re ignoring her.
You can instantly reply to some of her texts of course, but just make sure that you relax and leave some space in between some texts.
That way, she will be thinking, “Huh? Why didn’t he reply to that? Did I say something wrong? Is he with someone else?” and she starts to imagine you with another woman.
She then starts to feel like she needs to get you back quickly, otherwise you might just move on without her.
However, just make sure that when you’re texting her, you’re not acting at all.
Don’t act aloof or pretend that you don’t care.
Instead, be someone that she can like and want to be with again.
Focus on making her smile and laugh and then get her on a phone call with you, where she can sense that you really have changed, matured and are no longer the same guy that she broke up with.
Actively sparking a woman’s feelings of respect and attraction for you almost always works better than simply ignoring her.
In most ex back cases, all it takes is one small spark of respect and attraction to make her start thinking of you in a more positive light and open herself to getting back together again with you.
On the other hand, if you ignore her texts to seem less needy, it will usually backfire and by the time you reach out to her she will likely say something like, “It’s too late. When I texted you, you decided to ignore me. I’ve moved on. I’m seeing someone else and I’m really happy. It’s over between us. Please leave me alone.”
Another way that a guy might try to appear less needy is to…
2. Say that he isn’t available to meet her on the day she suggests, because he wants to seem like he doesn’t care
Sometimes, a guy might try to hide his feelings from his ex (e.g. because he doesn’t want to appear desperate, he can’t cope with the pain of being broken up, he is worried that she will play hard to get) by pretending not to care about her any more.
So, when she contacts him and suggests getting together for a catch up on a certain day, he might say, “Sorry, I can’t meet you on that day. I’m really very busy. How about another day.”
He’s hoping that if he doesn’t make himself readily available to meet up with her on the day she suggests, it will trigger her fears of losing him and she will then come running back to him.
However, this tactic rarely (if ever) works.
I’ve heard from so many phone coaching clients who tried to act busy with their ex and she then never, ever wanted to meet up with him again.
So, don’t play games.
Just meet up with her so you can properly re-attract her in person.
Remember: If a woman isn’t feeling a lot of respect and attraction for her ex, him acting like he doesn’t care is usually not going to make her think, “Oh no! My ex is so busy that he doesn’t want to meet up with me. Could this mean he’s met another woman and that he doesn’t care about me anymore? I can’t let that happen! I need to do something to get him back before I lose him for ever. He’s mine! All mine!”
Instead, she’s usually just going to think something like, “If he’s too busy to meet up with me, then that’s fine by me. I tried to be nice and he doesn’t seem to care, so I’m not going to lose any more sleep about it. I’m moving on. There are plenty of guys who are interested in me.”
Even though her ego might feel a bit bruised at the thought of him being over her, if she doesn’t have strong feelings for him, it just won’t matter that much to her.
She may even use his rejection as motivation to get over him fully and find another guy who can make her feel the way she wants to feel.
So, what you should you do instead?
If you want to get your ex back for real, you simply need to re-spark her feelings of respect and attraction for you, by behaving in ways that are attractive to her (e.g. being confident and charismatic, making her smile and laugh, making her feel feminine and girly) rather than by trying to trick her into wanting you back by pretending that you don’t care about her or the relationship anymore.
The Mature Approach Getting a Woman Back
Actively making your ex have feelings for you again is the quickest, most mature and most effective way to get her back.
If you resort to playing games when a woman doesn’t have strong feelings for you, she will usually get revenge by completely ignoring you from now on or hooking up with another guy.
So, rather than acting aloof towards your ex when she contacts you and hoping that this will spark her feelings for you again, focus instead on using every interaction you have with her as an opportunity to reactivate her feelings of respect, attraction and love for you.
For example: If your ex sends you a text, rather than ignore her, make sure that you respond in a way that will make her laugh.
If she texts something like, “Hey you. How are you?” rather than respond in the usual, boring way by saying, “Oh, I’m fine, thanks. How are you?” which will do nothing to spark her feelings for you, you can make her laugh or smile by texting something along the lines of, “My day was pretty boring up to now, but things are definitely looking up.”
She will likely assume it’s because of her and she may even ask, “Why is that?” and you can then reply, “My pizza order just arrived. Pepperoni and cheese! Yum! Lol…”
At this point, she is going to smile and probably feel a bit embarrassed that she thought you were talking about her.
She will also feel attracted to you for being confident enough to joke around with her like that, even though you and her are currently broken up.
That’s a much better approach to making your ex open herself up to the idea of getting back together again, compared to acting aloof towards her.
You are being a guy that she can actually like and enjoy spending time with, rather than trying to act cool by being Mr. Aloof.
From now on, I recommend that you stop playing mind games with her and start making her feel a renewed sense of respect and attraction for the new you.
When you approach the ex back process in a confident and mature way, your ex will be less guarded and will be much more open to getting back together again.
So, forget about the minds games.
If you want to get your ex back, do it like a man and get her back for real.
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