Here are 5 common reasons why a couple will take a break while still living together, as well as what you can do to get your relationship back together before it’s too late.
The first reason is due to a woman secretly trying to lead up to an actual break up or divorce with her man.
1. She hopes that the break causes him to lose interest in being in a relationship with her, before she breaks up with him for real
To avoid things getting tense, uncomfortable or even ugly (e.g. being mean and hurtful to each other, having intense arguments, having her man cry, beg and plead with her not to break up with him or divorce him), a woman will sometimes try to lead up to a break up, rather than going right to it.
So, she will ask to take a break while they are still living together, to hopefully create some distance between them and give her man the chance to potentially lose interest in being in a relationship with her.
Then, by the time she decides to say that it’s officially over, he will hopefully take it a lot easier and allow her to move out without much fuss, or vice versa.
So, if you and your woman are currently taking a break up while living together and you want to keep the relationship together, don’t just sink into the background of her life and hope that she changes her mind.
Instead, what you need to do is use any interactions that you have with her from now on, to reignite her sexual and romantic feelings for you.
One of the many ways you can do that, is by getting rid of some of the negative tension between you with humor, light-hearted teasing and playfulness, rather than being so serious, uptight or reserved around her.
For example: If she says, “I’m going to the supermarket. I will be back in an hour,” rather than just saying, “Okay” like an unwanted ex, playfully tease her by saying, “Cool. Don’t rush back though. I won’t miss you” and have a laugh with her.
Alternatively, you might half-jokingly, half-seriously say, “Cool. Can you get the ingredients to make a lasagna? You haven’t made that in a while and I’m in the mood for it” and smile.
Essentially, have the balls to playfully talk to her as though things are still totally cool between you and her and you are able to get her to cook dinner for you, or whatever it may be.
Don’t act like the rejected guy, or the unwanted ex who is only ‘allowed’ to be around her because you live together.
Behave like a man who knows that he’s attractive, worthy and lovable and who knows that women find that kind of confidence attractive and charming, so you can’t lose.
That’s just one example.
I can teach you so many more examples, if you keep reading and learning here.
Another reason why a woman will want to take a break while still living with her boyfriend or husband, is…
2. She would move out instantly if she could, but she currently can’t due to financial issues, obligations, lack of options or other issues
Sometimes, a woman will feel stuck in an unhappy relationship, but won’t have the money or the options (i.e. no friends to move in with) to move out and start a new life for herself.
As a result, she might start to feel resentful and even angry towards her man because it’s like he’s happy that she’s still around, but has no clue how unhappy she really is.
From her perspective, they have already broken up, but she is just saying that they’re ‘taking a break’ until she can figure out a way to move out (e.g. find a better job that pays more, find another place she can afford on her own).
So, even though the man might be thinking, “Well, we’re just taking a break. There’s still hope that we can fix things,” she is secretly just biding her time before she can leave (or make him leave).
Now, the man is right though.
They are taking a break (even though they are broken up in her eyes) and they can fix things, but it all depends on how he approaches it from that point.
The same rule applies to your situation.
When you begin reactivating her feelings of respect and attraction for you, she can literally go from counting the days until she can move out, to wanting to stick around and give the relationship another chance because she feels as though she is falling back in love with you.
How can you make that happen?
Essentially, you have to change the way you interact with her and respond to her from now on, so she goes from feeling angry, disappointed or stressed, to feeling happy, relaxed and open.
For example: Rather than being too serious or being on your best behavior when around her to hopefully impress her or get her to take pity on you (which is not attractive to women BTW), turn your interactions with her into moments of laughter and light-heartedness (as often as possible), so she enjoys spending time with you again.
Another example is to not get upset with her if she gives you the cold shoulder and instead remain calm, easygoing and confident no matter how she is behaving.
If you’re able to do that, she will start to feel as though you are the more mature, sensible one and she is wasting her time and energy by being a pain in the butt around you because you’re not reacting negatively to it.
As a result, she will start to relax and follow your lead of being more easygoing, calm and lighthearted when interacting with you.
When that happens, her guard comes down and she naturally opens back up to the idea of giving the relationship another try.
3. She is sick and tired of having the same kind of arguments and problems over and over again
If a woman notices that no matter how often she argues and fights with her man, nothing really ever changes, she might eventually ask for a break in the relationship to create some space between them to ease the tension and decide what she wants to do next (i.e. fix things or break up for real).
At that point, although the situation might seem hopeless to the man, he really can turn things around and reactivate her feelings of love, respect and attraction, so she doesn’t want to end the relationship for real.
One of the ways he can do that, is by showing her that he’s understood and fixed some of the things that caused them to argue and fight in the past and recently.
For example: Some of the changes a woman might want to see in her man, include…
- When she throws a tantrum or creates drama, rather than getting upset or angry with her, he remains calm and uses humor to change her mood. By humor, I don’t mean ‘dad jokes’ or humor that annoys her. Instead, I’m referring to flirtatious humor, or loving humor that warms her back up to him and changes her mood. For example: If she’s throwing a tantrum, a woman will rarely expect her man to smile and say, “I don’t like tantrums, but I love you anyway. You look cute when you’re angry, but even cuter when you smile.” Having the balls and the love to say that kind of thing to her is exactly what a woman wants to hear. It makes her realize that she isn’t behaving well by throwing a tantrum, but you still love her enough to not let that get to you. You see through the tantrum and love her nonetheless, while also caring enough to throw in some flirting and subtle humor that makes her crack a smile and warm back up to you. She then realizes that she needs to calm down and treat you better because you’re not in the wrong. You’re just being a strong, loving man and aren’t judging her in a negative way.
- When she complains about a problem that she’s experiencing (e.g. at work, with one of her friends) rather than give her a solution and expect her to just stop talking about it and use the solution, he instead allows her to express herself like a woman and listens and offers support. Unlike men, most women just want to vent and talk about their problems in an emotional way, without actually focusing on a solution. She is perfectly capable of focusing on a solution, but in most cases, a woman just wants to express her emotions and have her man listen, ask questions and support how she is feeling. If a man can do that, it’s like a huge breath of fresh air to a woman, because he isn’t expecting her to think, behave, feel and act like a man and instead, is allowing her to be a real woman around him.
- Rather than him feeling attracted to her, but not doing anything to make her feel the same way about him, he now focuses on making her feel sexy and desirable in his presence (e.g. by flirting with her, being more masculine in his behavior, being more assertive, while still being loving).
When she notices that she is feeling differently around him in a good way, she will naturally begin to question her decision to want to break up.
She will also realize that she would most likely regret breaking up with him if she went through with it, so rather than going through all that, she will just decide to stick with him and see how things go.
In other cases, both the man and the woman agree to take a break for this reason…
4. Both of them hope that by taking a break, it will give the relationship a chance to breathe and they will then get back together
That approach can work if the man is able to create a new relationship dynamic (e.g. she feels loved, appreciated and taken care of, but also feels the need to show him respect, appreciate him and be loving towards him), but in most cases, he doesn’t really know how to do that, so he opts for a ‘break’ to hopefully allow the relationship fix itself somehow.
Then, if he doesn’t use a new approach with her during the break, she ends up feeling the same way about him, or worse, which makes her just want to go through with the break up when she can.
5. Neither of them know what else to do because they seem to have tried everything already
Yet, have they really?
For example: Here are some of the things couples will do to hopefully fix the relationship:
- Ignore each other around the house, in the hope that the spark comes back on its own because they’ve had some time apart. Yet, they just end up getting used to not being with each other physically and emotionally and it drives them apart further, or one of them becomes needy and begins to plead the with other to show more love, affection and interest in them.
- Have date nights to hopefully bring the spark back, but they end up feeling disconnected and don’t enjoy being out together like they used to because the relationship dynamic isn’t working (e.g. The man is too neutral and treats her more like a friend, the man tries to hard to impress her and comes across as desperate, the woman is moody and irritable because she’s not getting the kind of attraction experience she really wants in the relationship). So, it doesn’t matter where they go, or what fancy restaurant they eat at, the spark never comes back.
- Get engaged to hopefully make them feel more committed, but the woman ends up feeling trapped because she’s engaged to a man that she’s not truly in love with.
- Decide to have a baby to hopefully bring them closer, but end up getting stressed out over the amount of responsibility that comes with being a parent. Not to mention the crying and screaming from the baby during the day and night, changing smelly diapers, feeding the baby and having it vomit up the food shortly after and so on.
- Go away for romantic weekends, but they don’t feel like being romantic towards each other, or the romance is one-sided (e.g. the man is trying to get her to love him again by being nice, sweet and romantic, but he doesn’t realize that women only appreciate romance when they are sexually attracted to a man and want to be with him. He doesn’t realize that he needs to change his behavior around her to be more attractive and arousing, rather than trying to win her love back with flowers, or weekend getaways).
So many couples go around in circles like that, until they eventually break up.
Don’t that make mistake.
Understand that fixing your relationship is easy, when you understand how to create a dynamic between you and her where respect, attraction and love flows naturally and consistently.
When you do that, both you and her are so much happier and the thought of breaking up is laughable.
It’s just not something that you or her would want to do, because you’re so happy and fulfilled being together.
3 Mistakes That Can Cause to Her to Want to Break Up For Real
1. Assuming that the nicer you are to her, the more she will want to stay with you
If you had been treating her badly prior to the break, then being nice to her will help a little, but it’s not the answer.
The answer is a new relationship dynamic that makes both of you feel happy, in love, attracted and excited about a future together.
If you try to make the solution to the problem be about you being extra nice to her, letting her have her way, making her feel like she’s more valuable than you and so on, then you will be painting yourself into a corner.
You will create a relationship dynamic where the only way to avoid getting dumped is to continually put in loads of effort to hopefully make her happy, by doing whatever she wants, sucking up to her, putting up with her bad treatment of you and so on.
That’s no way to live life as a man and it’s also not what a woman wants from a man.
What a woman really wants is to be with a good man who is confident, treats her well and loves her, but also naturally makes her feel the need to show him respect, be affectionate, loving and supportive.
A woman will do that if the relationship dynamic is right.
For example: A woman can be a total bitch to one guy (i.e. who is sucking up to her) and be an angel to another guy (i.e. who is more of a challenge to her and makes her feel the need to impress him, while still treating her well).
It’s the same woman, but a different approach is used and as a result, a different relationship dynamic is created.
So, in your situation, don’t make the mistake of thinking that the nicer you are to her, the more she will want to stay.
Nice guy fail badly when it comes to dating, get used and often cheated on in relationships before being dumped and struggle to get ex women back.
If you want her to love you again and want to stay with you, then be a confident, good man who is a challenge for her (i.e. make her feel the need to impress you and gain more of your love, rather than giving her everything of you for nothing in return).
Another mistake to avoid is…
2. Avoiding flirting with her because you assume she will get angry and want to move out faster
Some guys assume that it’s not their place to flirt with and seduce their girlfriend or wife, while on a break from her.
So, the guy will act like a neutral friend around her and she will realize that she’s not feeling attracted or interested in him anymore in a sexual way, which will make her want to go through with an actual break up when she can.
If you’re serious about fixing your relationship, don’t be afraid to show your woman that you still find her attractive and want her back (i.e. by flirting with her to create sexual tension between you).
When you create sexual tension, she will then naturally want to release that tension with hugging, kissing and sex.
When that happens, it becomes a lot easier to go from taking a break to being a couple again.
3. Not using the time you still have with her to re-attract her romantically
A woman’s romantic attraction for a man is based on her feeling sexually attracted to him and wanting to be with him.
Without romantic attraction, she won’t want to be boyfriend and girlfriend or husband and wife anymore.
Instead, she will see you as a roommate, housemate or ex that she is trying to work on getting herself away from.
So, while you are still living together and have a chance to save your relationship, make sure that you focus on making her feel attracted to you in new ways, so she feels romantically attracted to you and doesn’t want to go through with an actual break up.
Here are some ways that you can attract her:
- Rather than always being very serious around her, start to use more humor to create moments of laughter, smiling and happiness whenever she’s around you. Remember: It has to be humor that she actually feels good about. If she’s annoyed with your sense of humor and you do more of it, then she’s just going to feel more annoyed and disconnected. Use loving, flirtatious humor that warms her up and makes her feel good.
- Instead of feeling unsure of yourself around her or feeling rejected by her, start displaying confidence and self-assurance, so she can feel attracted to your emotional strength.
- Instead of getting upset when she acts cold or distant towards you, remain calm, easy-going and behave as though everything is totally cool between you and her. That doesn’t mean just ‘think’ that everything is totally cool between you and her. It means, really feel it and talk to her and interact with her as though everything is totally cool between you and her and she’s just in a bit of a mood at the moment, but that’s her problem and she’ll snap out of it. When she notices that her bad moods or cold behavior isn’t affecting you or causing you to react negatively, she will eventually follow your lead and start being nicer, more friendly and less stressed around you.
There are so many ways you can attract her today and over the next couple of weeks to get your relationship back on track.
So, don’t lose hope!
You can turn things around.
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