Here are 5 proven tips for curing a heavy heart after breaking up:
1. Know that it’s possible to get her back
Your ex might have said, “It’s over. I don’t have feelings for you anymore and nothing that you can say or do will make me change my mind,” but it doesn’t mean she will feel like that forever.
In fact, you can change how she feels pretty quickly…
If you focus on making her feel a renewed sense of respect and attraction for you, she will naturally begin to feel drawn to you again.
You can then get her back right away, within days or possibly a little longer (e.g. a week or two).
Interestingly though, even if you don’t do anything to change her feelings for you, her negative emotions will eventually begin to fade away over time.
At that point (maybe years from now), she will either feel neutral emotions when she thinks about you, or she may even start to view you in a more friendly way (i.e. she will forgive what you did and be open to just being friends on social media, or in person if applicable).
So, her feelings will change at some point.
The good news is that you don’t have to wait in the background for years or decades, hoping that she’ll stop hating you and then possibly accept you as a friend.
Instead, when you take action now and begin to spark her feelings of respect and attraction for you during interactions, it speeds up the process of her changing how she feels about you.
She goes from saying that she doesn’t want anything to do with you, to saying things like, “Okay, well, lets meet up for coffee to see what happens,” when you ask her to catch up.
She then goes from feeling attracted to you when you catch up, to kissing you and wanting to be your girl once again.
That’s how 95% of men get their ex woman back.
The man takes action and actively re-attracts her and when she changes how she feels, she naturally opens back up to him and gives him another chance.
She doesn’t want to lose the new, exciting and interesting feelings she now has for him because it feels so damn good.
She doesn’t want to reject him and then miss him and regret breaking up with him for the rest of her life.
So, she goes with how she feels and gives him another chance.
Of course, not all men know this secret and as a result, they lose their ex girlfriend or wife because she just moves on.
For example: Some guys try to ignore their ex woman to make her come running back, other guys stick to text and others turn their ex woman off by continuing to make the same old mistakes that lead to the break up (e.g. he continues to talk to her in an insecure way, gives her too much power during conversations and so on).
This is why, if you are serious about getting your ex back, you should take action and re-attract her.
It’s the most effective approach to take to get a woman back.
For example: If you ignore your ex, the reality is that she may feel relieved, annoyed or determined to move on and find someone else.
If you only text her, she might feel irritated, frustrated or bored.
If you call her on the phone and sound insecure, anxious or intimidated by her now, she will feel turned off and become convinced that she made the right decision to break up with you.
The next tip for curing your heavy heart after breaking up is to…
2. Start improving your ability to make her have sexual and romantic feelings for you again
If you interact with your ex while you’re feeling sad, dejected or unsure about your value to her, it will come across in the tonality of your voice, your body language and the way you respond to how she treats you.
Women aren’t sexually attracted to emotional weakness like that, especially from an ex.
So, if you come across in that way, she will decide that you’re just not man enough for her and will be happy that she went through with the break up.
On the other hand, if you maintain your confidence during interactions, despite her efforts to make you feel self-conscious or insecure, she won’t be able to stop herself from reconnecting with some of her old feelings for you.
This is why it’s important that you start improving on your ability to re-spark her sexual and romantic feelings, before you contact her again.
For example:
- Become more confident and self-assured.
- Believe in yourself and in your value to her.
- Add to your strengths and start fixing your weaknesses.
- Be more manly in how you think, behave, talk and act.
- Improve your ability to flirt and create a sexual vibe between you and a woman.
Preparing yourself in this way gives you confidence and hope.
It sets up for success by lifting your spirits and making you do what you actually need to do to get your woman back (i.e. re-attract her sexually and romantically).
The next tip for curing your heavy heart after breaking up is…
3. Have fun with new people
I know, I know.
You probably don’t want to be around other people and having fun with them right now, true?
You are hurting.
I understand.
You might even be thinking something like, “I don’t want to feel happy without her. She was the love of my life, so being happy without her just isn’t going to be possible.”
Yet, thinking that way not only stops you from curing your heavy heart, but it also makes you appear more unattractive to your ex.
Why?
Women are instinctively drawn to the kind of men who are emotionally strong enough to cope with whatever life throws at them (e.g. a difficult break up) and turned off by men who struggle to pick themselves up when something difficult happens.
So, if you interact with your ex (e.g. on a phone call or in person) and she senses that you’re feeling depressed and lost without her, she will interpret it as emotional weakness and feel turned off.
This is why it’s so important for you to start having fun again.
By the way…
It’s important that you do this with new people and not existing friends, because existing friends will most likely want to discuss the relationship with you, which will just keep you focused on her and how much you miss her.
So, now is a good time to make a fresh start and meet some new people.
I know, I know.
You probably don’t want to do that, but it’s so important for curing your heavy heart.
For example: You can…
- Attend a meet up group in your area (for ideas check out meetup.com).
- Join a group exercise class (exercising alone doesn’t help! You’ve got to be around other people who are having fun).
- Go on a weekend adventure with a travel group.
- Start a new hobby (e.g. dancing classes, martial arts, hiking).
When you take action to become genuinely happy without your ex, not only are you lightening the load on your heart, but you’re also making yourself more attractive to your ex (i.e. because you’re more confident, happy and emotionally independent now).
Then, when you interact with your ex, she will see that you haven’t been a sad, lonely, depressed guy who has been sitting at home pining for his ex woman.
You are a man who can stand on his own two feet and get things done, even though she hasn’t been in your life lately.
As a result, she will begin to feel some respect and attraction for you and getting her back will become easier and more natural.
So, once you’ve done all that…
4. Contact your ex and re-attract her
Once you’ve prepared yourself (i.e. by changing and improving some of the things that caused your ex to break up with you, having fun without her), you will be more than ready to contact her and begin the ex back process to get her back.
So, if you’re still on speaking terms with your ex (e.g. you’ve been texting each other from time to time), get her on a phone call with you or get her to meet up with you so you can catch up and say hi in person.
If you get on a phone call, add in some humor to ease the tension between you and make her feel happy and relaxed to be talking to you again.
Then, ask her to meet up with you and then allow her to experience the new and improved you in person.
Make her really want you back and then give her another chance.
By the way…
If you’ve had no contact with your ex since the break up and are afraid that she won’t answer you call, then send her this text:
“Hey… I know we’re broken up and totally accept that, but I need to ask you something quick over the phone. It’s nothing serious though, so don’t worry. I’ll call you in 10 minutes.”
Then, go ahead and call her in 10 minutes time.
If she doesn’t answer, leave it for a day or two and then try to call her again.
If she still doesn’t answer, text her this:
“Hey… I tried calling you yesterday/the other day to ask you something quick, but I assume that you must have been busy. No problem. I might try to get hold of you some other time so I can ask you this question.”
She might then text you back asking, “What do you want to ask me?”
Whatever you do, don’t respond via text!
Instead, just pick up the phone and call her.
In most cases, a woman will be curious enough about what you want to ask, that she will answer her phone right away.
Of course, what you want to ask her is to meet up with you in person, but don’t get straight into that.
Instead, start the call off by using some humor to make her relax, get her smiling and enjoying talking to you and also to get her to drop her guard a little.
From there, get her to meet up with you in person, so you can fully reactivate her feelings of respect and attraction for you (e.g. by showing her that you are now a new and improved man).
From there…
5. Get her back!
At the meet up, continue saying and doing the types of things that will make your ex see you in a new light and convince her to give you another chance (e.g. be much more confident than you used to be, use humor even if she is trying to make things awkward and uncomfortable, flirt with her to create a sexual vibe).
No matter what she says or does to make you feel bad for what happened in the relationship, just stay calm and maintain your confidence with her.
Make her smile and laugh and turn her negativity into something that you can both laugh about together.
Flirt with her and make her feel attracted and turned on.
Show her that you really are a new and improved man now.
Then, when the moment is right, hug her or kiss her and then move towards hooking up sexually and getting the relationship back together.
3 Mistakes to Avoid Making if You Want to Cure Your Heavy Heart
Contrary to what some people think, the cure for a heavy heart after breaking up isn’t about ignoring your ex and pretending you don’t want her back anymore.
It’s also not about forcing yourself to move on when you still love her.
Instead, it’s about quickly making some attractive changes to your thinking and behavior, so you feel confident and energized.
Then, it’s about taking action, getting her back and enjoying an even better relationship with her than you had before.
That’s how a man needs to approach the situation if he actually wants his ex woman back.
If he doesn’t want her back, then he just needs to hook up with new women and move on.
How about you?
Do you want her back?
If so, be sure to avoid the following mistakes…
1. Regularly looking through photos and thinking about how much you miss her
Although there’s nothing wrong with looking at a photo of you and your ex in happier times if you happen to accidentally come across one (e.g. while looking for something on your phone, searching through an old drawer), going out of your way to browse through photos of you and her isn’t a good idea.
Doing that only holds you back from fully healing and feeling happy without her, especially if you’re heart is hurting as you look at the photos and realize what you’ve lost.
Remember: If you want to get her back, you need to spark her feelings for you by showing her that you are a completely new man now.
You are now able to attract her in ways that you failed at in the past (e.g. you’re no longer insecure, you’re much more manly in your behavior now).
That’s what really counts.
However, it will be difficult to accomplish if you spend all your time going down memory lane and thinking things like, “Oh, how I miss her…we look so happy in these photos! We were so in love with each other. I can’t believe it’s over. My life feels so empty without her. I don’t know if I will ever be able to move on. She was the love of my life.”
Don’t do that to yourself.
Instead, focus on improving your ability to attract her and getting yourself ready (emotionally) to interact with her and make her feel a renewed sense of respect and sexual attraction for the new and improved you.
That’s what works on women.
The next mistake to avoid making is…
2. Having long, sad conversations with friends, family or coworkers
Talking to friends, family or coworkers about how sad you are isn’t going to help you heal.
Instead, you’ll find that you are stuck in a rut and always seem to have the same old, sad conversations with your friends, family and coworkers who want to be there for you to support you.
It’s not a good thing for you to keep doing.
So, do yourself a big favor and stop talking about what happened.
The fact is that talking about how sad you are isn’t going to change anything.
What will change things is when you focus on quickly getting yourself to the point where you’re happy and living a good life without your ex.
That doesn’t mean moving on or finding a new woman.
Not at all.
It’s just about being genuinely happy with or without her.
When you feel that way, you will automatically become more attractive to your ex and can use that to get her back.
The next mistake to avoid making is…
3. Sitting around feeling sorry for yourself, rather than doing what is required to get her back and end the pain
Sometimes, a guy reacts to getting broken up with by sitting at home wallowing in self pity for weeks, months or even years.
Initially, a guy might be thinking, “Losing her is the worst thing that’s ever happened to me. I feel like my life is over. It’s not worth living if she’s not a part of it. I wish there was something I could do to get her back, but it all seems so hopeless to me. Maybe if she sees how broken I am without her, she will take pity on me and give me another chance. I just don’t see any other way. She seems so sure that it’s over. Its like I have no chance with her now.”
Unfortunately, by thinking like that, he is simply preventing himself from moving forward and becoming the kind of man who can attract her back (e.g. confident, self-assured, determined, capable of handling pressure).
So, if he happens to interact with her (e.g. on a phone call or in person), she will sense it and feel turned off by his emotional weakness.
She will see his lack of improvement as a sign that she made the right decision to break up and she will then focus on moving on as quickly as possible.
Here’s the thing…
It sucks that she broke up with you, but if you let those feelings paralyze you and stop you from changing and improving, not only will you continue feeling depressed, but you will also potentially ruin your chances of getting her back.
Why?
Your lack of belief in your value to her will come across as emotional weakness and she will feel turned off by it.
So, you need to avoid focusing on the pain of the situation and only focus on what is required to get her back.
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