The No Contact Rule is a technique that some people try to use to get their ex back after a breakup or a divorce.
It’s essentially about cutting off contact for 30 or 60 days.
Unfortunately for men, it usually doesn’t work to get their ex woman back.
You will understand that as I explain these five little-known facts about the No Contact Rule…
1. It works differently for men and women
One of the reasons why the No Contact Rule works differently for men and women is that men and women usually break up with each other for different reasons.
For example, one of the common reasons why a man will break up with a woman is that he will be in a situation where his woman isn’t treating him well anymore.
She’s not being affectionate, she’s not interested in sex anymore and she’s essentially being a pain in the butt.
She’s not respecting him and appreciating him like she used to, so he decides to go ahead and dump her.
He hopes that it will teach her a lesson and make her want to change and be a better woman for him.
He hopes that it will get her to come crawling back to him and he will then be in a position of power and they’ll have a better relationship as a result.
That can work if the woman actually comes back.
However, not every woman comes back after being dumped.
Additionally, sometimes a woman knows exactly what the guy is up to and doesn’t want to have to come crawling back and give him the power in the relationship.
So, she decides to cut off contact and see if he’ll come crawling back to her.
When a woman is in that situation where she has been dumped by a guy like that, if she cuts off contact with him and doesn’t contact him for 30 or 60 days, the guy will usually regret breaking up with her.
He was hoping that by breaking up with her, she would change, she would be more submissive and attentive and loving, but she just went cold.
She didn’t contact him.
He starts to worry that she’s going to get out there and meet new guys, have sex and move on without him.
Meanwhile, he’s sitting around thinking about her, missing her and regretting breaking up with her.
So, what does he do?
In most situations, a guy will then text his ex woman or give her a call and meet up with her and she’ll be able to get him back.
So, the No Contact Rule works well for a woman in that situation.
She was able to make her man panic and worry that she was moving on simply by not contacting him.
However, the same rules do not apply when a man is trying to get a woman back that is no longer attracted to him.
In most cases, when a woman breaks up with a man, it’s not because she wants to gain power over him.
It’s because she is no longer attracted to him.
So, a common scenario that happens with the No Contact Rule when men try to use it is as follows.
A woman breaks up with a man because she is no longer attracted to him > He then cuts off contact with her and hopes that it will make her miss him and come crawling back > She doesn’t really miss him because she’s no longer attracted to him > She doesn’t feel motivated to go back to a guy that she’s not attracted to > She opens herself up to new guys and moves on without him.
Now, I will point out that no contact can work on some women to get them back.
Where it does work is when a woman is still attracted to her ex guy.
She doesn’t really want to break up with him, but they broke up after a fight and she starts to miss him.
He’s not contacting her, she can’t handle it, so she contacts him and they’ll then catch up and get back together.
However, in most ex back situations where guys actually need help, that isn’t the case at all.
The most common scenario is where a woman broke up with a guy because she lost respect, attraction and love for him.
She doesn’t have strong feelings for him anymore or she doesn’t have any feelings for him anymore.
She just doesn’t want anything to do with him.
So, when a guy uses the No Contact Rule and hopes that she might come crawling back to him, she doesn’t.
She doesn’t have any motivation to want to be back with him.
She’s not attracted to him, she’s not in love with him, she’s not missing him and she’s relieved that he’s not contacting her and trying to get her back.
So, she just moves on and he gets left behind.
Okay, the next little-known fact about the No Contact Rule…
2. It was originally designed to help a couple get over each other and move on
For decades, relationship counselors, therapists and psychologists have been suggesting the No Contact approach as a way of helping couples get over each other or create space so they can figure out what they want.
It has never been designed as a strategy for men to get any woman back after a breakup.
In fact, the No Contact approach usually only works in the woman’s favor.
For example, many times the therapist, psychologist or relationship counselor will notice that the woman doesn’t want to be with the guy anymore.
The counselor wants to help the woman get away from her ex guy, so she suggests that the guy stop contacting her for 30, 60 or even 90 days.
The woman can then use the time apart to find a replacement guy and be able to tell her ex guy that she doesn’t want anything to do with him anymore because she’s in a new relationship.
Of course, sometimes it’s necessary for a therapist or a counselor to protect a woman like that.
Most guys are good guys and will change and improve, but there are some guys out there who won’t change and are just going to continue hurting the woman or turning her off or abusing her and so on.
So, it’s understandable that a therapist, psychologist or relationship counselor might recommend the No Contact Rule as a way of helping the woman get away from the guy.
However, in most cases, the No Contact Rule is recommended as a way of a couple creating space so they can either get over each other or they can decide what they want after they’ve gone through that no contact period.
3. Most guys don’t heal during the no contact period and end up developing insecurities
For men, one of the hopes about the No Contact Rule is that during the 30 or 60 days, they will heal from the breakup.
A guy will feel better about himself, he’ll feel more confident and he’ll be able to interact with his ex woman and get her back.
Unfortunately, that isn’t the result that most guys get.
What happens for most guys is that while cutting off contact with their ex woman, they are essentially sitting around, thinking about her and missing her all the time.
A guy can’t get her off his mind. He’s worried that she might have sex with a new guy, fall in love with him and move on.
He’s counting down the days until he can contact her again and it just doesn’t feel good.
Time seems to be going so slow and his worries about her moving on just seem to be getting worse.
He can’t get rid of the feeling of wanting her back.
He misses her, he thinks about her all the time and just wants her back, yet, he’s using the No Contact approach.
He’s cutting off contact and hoping that it works.
Unfortunately, for most guys, they get dumped because the woman isn’t attracted to them anymore.
So, when a guy cuts off contact, she doesn’t come running back.
In many cases, a guy will wait for 30 days and his woman still hasn’t contacted him, so he will contact her and she won’t reply.
Alternatively, she might reply initially and then go cold.
In other cases, she’ll reply initially and then block him.
So, he’s wasted 30 days sitting around, feeling stressed out and has simply helped her get over him and potentially move on without him.
Now, at this point, some guys might be wondering, what should they do instead of cutting off contact for 30 or 60 days?
Should they be constantly contacting her and desperately chasing her?
No.
Completely cutting off contact for 30 or 60 days is just as extreme as desperately chasing her.
You don’t actually need to use either of those approaches to get your ex woman back.
What I recommend is a more balanced approach to the situation.
That is where you give her 3 to 7 days of space and during that time, you rapidly improve yourself.
You improve your ability to attract her.
Then you contact her, re-attract her and get her back.
In many ex back cases, it works well for a woman to completely cut off contact with her ex man for 30 or 60 days.
However, in most situations where a man is trying to get his woman back, he doesn’t need to go to that extreme.
In fact, if he goes to that extreme, he will almost certainly lose his woman because she will simply move on without him.
As you may have guessed, I’m not a fan of the No Contact Rule when it comes to men getting women back.
The reason why is that I see, day in and day out, the results of men trying that approach to get their ex woman back.
Pretty much every guy who tries it ends up disappointed.
The woman simply moves on.
What I see work day in and day out is when a guy quickly levels up, improves his ability to attract her and interacts with her.
He interacts with her, makes her feel attracted to him again and then she opens back up to him.
She has a reason to want to get back with him.
She’s feeling attracted to him in new, more interesting ways.
There’s something there between him and her now.
There’s a spark, there’s a reason for her to get back with him.
She’s feeling drawn to him.
She wants to explore the feelings that she’s now having around him.
That’s what I see work day in and day out, the guys who level up by improving their ability to attract their ex woman, interacting with her and making her feel attracted again and then guiding her through the rest of the ex back process.
They get her back into a relationship by taking control of the situation rather than cutting off contact and hoping that she comes running back or that she mans up herself and takes the lead and guides him back into a relationship.
4. When a woman is ignored by the man that she wanted to break up with, she usually just moves on
When women use the No Contact Rule, they usually have pretty good results with it.
On the other hand, when a man uses the No Contact Rule on an ex woman, he rarely gets her back.
Some guys do get their ex woman back simply by not contacting her, but most guys don’t.
The main reason why is that when a woman breaks up with a guy, it’s usually not a power play.
Sometimes it is a power play and she wants to get her guy treating her better, but in most cases, when a woman breaks up with a guy, it’s because she doesn’t have feelings for him anymore.
She no longer feels enough respect, attraction and love for him to warrant being in a relationship.
She doesn’t feel like it’s justified for her to stay in a relationship with a guy who she no longer feels respect, attraction and love for.
So, when he doesn’t contact her, she simply moves on.
5. Cutting off contact for 30 or 60 days won’t make your ex forget about why she broke up with you
For men, one of the hopes with the No Contact Rule is that their ex woman will forget all about why she broke up with him, will be missing him and will then contact him and want him back.
Unfortunately, it doesn’t work that way in most situations.
Most women don’t suddenly forget that they were turned off by their ex guy.
She doesn’t suddenly forget that he was too insecure, too emotionally sensitive and wasn’t manly enough for her.
If she broke up with him for those reasons, she’s going to remember those reasons.
Additionally, if he wasn’t treating her well and he ended up being a bit of an asshole to her, she’s going to remember that.
She might fondly remember some of the good times, but she’s not going to be stupid.
Women are just as intelligent as men, in most cases, of course.
Women have memories just like we men do and they’re not stupid, in most cases.
Women can remember why they broke up with a guy.
They can play that movie back in their mind and remember that they were turned off by a guy because he was too insecure, wasn’t manly enough and didn’t create a spark with her.
She can remember that.
Of course, some women do force themselves to forget about the bad things that turned them off about a guy because she can’t move on without her ex.
She has tried to get out there and date and hasn’t been able to find a suitable replacement guy.
So, she forces herself to not focus on the negative memories and focus on the positive memories and then she contacts her ex.
That does happen in a very small percentage of situations, but in most cases, the woman simply gets out there and meets new guys and moves on without her ex.
This is why I always recommend that men take control of the ex back process rather than leaving it all in the woman’s hands by cutting off contact with her and hoping that she takes the lead and gets you back.
Taking control of the process is about interacting with her and making her feel attracted to you again.
When you interact with her and reawaken her feelings for you, she then has a reason to get back with you now.
You don’t have to sit around worrying for 30 or 60 days hoping that she doesn’t have sex with a new guy and move on without you.
You can get her back pretty much right away.
You interact with her, you make her feel attracted to you again and get her feeling like she’s in love with you again.
As a result, her guard comes down, you hook up with her sexually and you can get back into a relationship with her.
Learn more?
Okay, I hope you’ve enjoyed this video and learned something from it.
If you’d like to learn more, I recommend that you watch my program, Get Your Ex Back Super System
When you watch the program, you will learn the quickest, easiest and most effective way to get a woman back now.
When you use the techniques from the program, she will feel a renewed sense of respect and attraction for you.
She will fall back in love with you and want to give the relationship another chance now.
Choosing the right approach for you now
One final point that I want to make during this video, is that it’s up to you what approach you take to get your ex back from this point onwards.
If you feel as though cutting off contact with her will result in her missing you terribly and contacting you and wanting to get back with you, then go ahead and do that.
However, if you’re in a situation like most guys are, where your woman doesn’t have strong feelings for you anymore or doesn’t have any feelings for you anymore, then just understand that the No Contact Rule is almost certainly not going to work for you.
What I see work for guys in your situation is where a guy interacts with his woman again and makes her feel attracted.
He reawakens her feelings.
He reactivates her feelings.
She starts feeling attracted to him in new and more interesting ways.
He has leveled up as a man.
He’s so much more attractive and appealing to her now because he’s no longer making the type of mistakes that caused her to feel turned off by him before.
For example, he’s so much more confident now.
When he interacts with her, he creates a sexual vibe between him and her.
She can’t stop herself from wanting to be in his arms, kiss him and hookup with him sexually.
She wants to get back in a relationship with him now.
So, use the approach that you think will work for you.
If you think that cutting off contact will cause her to come running back, go ahead and do it.
On the other hand, if you think that she’s probably just going to move on and isn’t going to be worried about you not contacting her, then I recommend that you do something about it.
I recommend that you take control of the ex back process by interacting with her and making her feel attracted to you again.
Give her a reason to want to get back with you now.
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