The way that you talk to a girl directly shapes the type of relationship that you’re going to have with her.
If you talk to her in one way, she’ll play hard to get.
If you talk to her in another way, she won’t be hard to get and she won’t be easy to get. She’ll be kind of neutral.
If you talk to her in another way, she’ll be attracted and interested in you.
If you talk to her in another way, she’ll be very attracted and interested in you and will even begin to pursue you.
She’ll be trying to make something happen between you and her.
Unfortunately, for a lot of guys out there, they simply aren’t aware of how to talk to a girl in a way that makes her really want to be with him to the point where she begins to pursue him and tries to get something going between them.
Instead, a lot of guys unknowingly say things that make girls play hard to get.
If the guy then tries harder to impress her and tries to get a chance with her, she’ll play even harder to get and in most cases, he’ll end up getting friend-zoned or rejected.
In this video, I’m going to give you 3 examples of things that you shouldn’t say to a girl you like because those things cause her to play hard to get.
I’m also going to tell you what you should say instead to make her feel very attracted to you and really want to be with you, to the point where she feels like she should pursue you.
So the first thing that you shouldn’t say to a girl that you like is…
1. “I need to tell you something. I really like you and I want to take our friendship to the next level.”
Imagine this scenario…
A guy meets a girl and he really likes her.
Not only is she beautiful to him physically, but as he talks to her, he discovers that she’s intelligent, down-to-earth and easygoing.
She’s exactly the type of girl that he’s been looking for.
He has met her at work, at university, or through mutual friends and has an opportunity to talk to her on a fairly regular basis, if not a daily basis.
Even though they only talk to each other as friends, he secretly has feelings for her and often daydreams about them being together.
He hopes that one day, she will develop feelings for him and then they will kiss and start a relationship.
Yet, as he talks to her over the course of weeks or months, nothing happens.
So he ends up saying to her, “There is something that I want to tell you. I really like you more than just a friend. I want to take our friendship to the next level.”
He’s hoping that she will then say that she has feelings for him too and then they can start kissing, have sex and get into a relationship.
Instead, she says something like, “I don’t want to ruin our friendship. Besides, I don’t think I see you in that way. We’re just friends” or, “That would be too weird. Let’s just remain friends” or, “Don’t be silly. We’re just friends” or, “I’m not sure. I think we’re better off as friends.”
Some of the reasons why a girl will play hard to get in a case like that, is that she doesn’t want to seem too easy.
Alternatively, she feels pressured to make a decision about having what seems to be a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship with him. He is putting her on the spot.
She may also play hard to get because he’s handing over the power to her and she is now playing with that power by acting uninterested or even rejecting him.
Yet in most cases, it’s because she wants things to happen naturally where they go on some sort of date, or they catch up and then they kiss.
If there’s a spark there, then they can begin a relationship.
They can have sex, they can start being boyfriend and girlfriend.
So saying to a girl that you like her and you want to take your friendship with her to the next level isn’t the best thing to say if you actually want to take things to the next level, because it will almost always result in the girl playing hard to get or, in a worst-case scenario, the girl rejecting you and then the friendship between you and her being awkward from then on.
Something that you can say instead that makes the woman feel very attracted to you and makes her want to get something going between you and her, is to make a play on those type of words (i.e. “There’s something I want to tell you”).
Those types of words that you hear in TV shows and movies usually play out in a very typical way.
- There’s something that I’ve been meaning to tell you.
- I’ve been wanting to tell you this for quite some time. I want to get this off my chest.
- There’s something I want to tell you.
Then, the male character goes and admits his feelings for the woman.
The woman knows that.
So, if you start off saying what you’re going to say by using those type of words, you can then say something completely unexpected and make her laugh, feel attracted to your confidence and feel excited about something happening between you and her.
Here’s an example…
“Hey, by the way, there’s something that I’ve been meaning to tell you. It’s been running through my mind a lot. When we hang out, I think about it and I can’t seem to get it off my mind. So, I’m just going to be honest and tell you.”
While she is listening to you say that, she will begin to worry that you’re going to be all soppy and romantic like a TV character and say, “I have feelings for you and want to take our friendship to the next level.”
Yet, you don’t.
You continue on and playfully say, “That is, we’ve been friends for what? Three months now? You haven’t even invited me over to your place to cook me dinner. What sort of friend are you?”
You and her are then going to have a laugh together.
In most cases, what you’ll find is that the girl then says something like that you need to cook her dinner. The man needs to do that these days. The world has changed, or whatever.
If that’s the case and you can invite her over to your apartment or house to cook some dinner, sure, get her to come over there.
She’s going to come over to your place.
You’re going to end up cooking up something together.
Then, you’re going to kiss and have sex and so on.
Yet, in most cases, what you’ll find is that the girl happily offers to do that (cook you dinner) and you then say, “Cool. I’ll bring some wine over,” and it turns into a date where you and her are hanging out having fun in the kitchen.
You end up kissing, having sex and getting a relationship started.
By the way…
If you’re worried about suggesting that she cooks something for you, which most girls love and they happily do, or she come over to your place and you cook something up for her or you cook something together, which girls also love, you can instead say that she hasn’t yet invited you out for ice cream.
So, you’re talking to her and hanging out as friends.
You can then tell her that there’s something that you’ve been meaning to tell her and you want to get it off your chest.
Then, have a bit of a smile on your face as you tell her that you’ve been hanging out for the last three weeks or so, or three months or whatever it is and she hasn’t even invited you out for ice cream. What sort of friend is she? Tell her that she’s a horrible friend.
Playfully say that.
Playfully add in something like, “What sort of friend doesn’t even invite another friend out for ice cream? Let’s go out for an ice cream now,” or, “Let’s go out for an ice-cream tomorrow night,” or the next night, or Saturday night, or Sunday afternoon, whatever you think will be appropriate for you and her and the schedule that you and her are on.
If you go down that path, end up having some ice cream together and are laughing and hanging having a good time, you can then say something like this to her, “Okay. So now you’ve leveled up as a friend. You’ve gone up one level. The next level is to make me dinner. When are you going to cook for me?”
Essentially, you need to get things moving along towards you and her getting to a kiss, having sex and starting a relationship.
Of course, sometimes you’ll meet a girl at a bar or a party or somewhere and you’ll kiss her immediately, or you’ll have sex with her on the first night, or you’ll meet, you’ll get her number, you’ll call her, you’ll text her, you set up a date, you’ll catch up, you’ll kiss, you’ll have sex and things will begin.
Yet, if you meet a girl that you really like and things aren’t moving along, even though you and her get along nicely as friends, then you need to use a different approach.
You need to make her feel like she wants something to happen between you and her, so she becomes open to being alone with you at her place or going out for ice cream with you or whatever it may be.
The next thing not to say to a girl that you like is…
2. “What do you think about people who date their friends?” or, “Would you ever date a friend?”
When a guy isn’t confident about moving in for a first kiss, getting a woman to come home and have sex with him or just getting things moving along towards kissing and sex by having a date at her place or his place or whatever, then he will usually try to discuss his way into a relationship with a woman.
He’ll start saying things like, “So what do you look for in a guy?” or, “Are you looking for a boyfriend ?”
In this case, with the example of what not to say to a girl, a guy will say something like, “Would you ever date a friend?” or, “What do you think about people who date their friends?”
He’s hoping she then says that she is cool with it and, “Hey, you and I could date. We get along well. So why don’t we go on a date?”
Everything just happened so easily for him.
She gives him approval to start dating her and they begin dating.
Yayy!
Back to reality now.
What usually happens is that most girls aren’t dumb.
There are some dummies out there who don’t get it, but most girls get it right away that the guy is trying to suggest that maybe him and her could date and they could be an item.
Yet, he doesn’t have the confidence to make that happen, so he’s trying to discuss his way into maybe getting a chance with her.
So, what a girl will usually do at that point is play hard to get.
The guy will ask her a question like, “So would you ever date a friend?” and she will then say something like, “No, I don’t think so. I think friends should just be friends.”
Alternatively, he might ask her, “So what do you think of people who date their friends?” and she may then say that she doesn’t know, she doesn’t care, or she might say that she thinks it’s lame and that people should be more social and meet other people rather than try and date their friends because when you date friends, it ends up causing problems and ruins friendships and so on.
He doesn’t get that scenario that he’s been fantasizing in his mind about, where he asks her a question like that and she then says that she thinks it’s a great idea and by the way, she has feelings for him and she has always been thinking about maybe they could be an item and, “Hey, let’s go on a date. Let’s kiss. Let’s have sex. Let’s start this thing!”
So, what a guy should say to a girl instead, is something that doesn’t cause her to play hard to get like that and instead makes her feel like she wants something to happen between him and her.
Something that makes her feel like she is the one pursuing it.
A very easy way to do that with the example that I was talking about earlier about her cooking for you, or you cooking up something for her, or you and her going out for ice cream is to say what you’re going to say, but then follow it up by saying something like this, “But only as friends though. Don’t get any ideas. You’re coming over to my place. We’re going to cook something up, but don’t try to make moves on me in the kitchen or anything like that. I’m not that easy.”
Or something like this, “Don’t get any funny ideas though. I’m coming over. You’re going to cook me up some dinner. We’re just having dinner as friends. No funny ideas. No funny stuff.”
Or, if you’re going out for some ice cream, “It’s just ice cream though. Don’t get any funny ideas. It’s not a sweet date where you get to kiss me at the end of it. We’re just going to have ice cream as friends.”
In almost all cases, the girl will then laugh and try to quickly prove that she wasn’t thinking like that and she was only thinking of catching up as friends.
You can then laugh and say, “Yeah, sure. No worries. I believe you.”
Make a joke out of it.
Make her feel like you can see through her secret private thoughts and fantasies where she has been imagining kissing you and having sex with you.
She didn’t know that you’re aware of that, but you’re talking to her in a way that makes her feel like you are aware of the fact that she is attracted to you and she wants something to happen between you.
That’s exciting for a girl, especially if she’s attractive because pretty much every guy that she meets does not have the balls nor the social skills to make her feel like that.
He doesn’t know what to say.
Instead, he says things like, “There’s something that I’ve been meaning to tell you. I like you more than just a friend. I want to take our friendship to the next level. What do you think??”
He tries to discuss his way into a relationship or he asks her, “So, what do you look for in a guy?” and then he tries to be like that guy.
The girl then knows exactly what he’s up to and she then plays play hard to get, friend-zones him or rejects him.
The final thing not to say to a girl that you like is…
3. “Yeah, I agree,” about everything that she says
There’s nothing wrong with agreeing with a girl as you talk to her.
You and her can agree on many things together.
Yet, it’s when a guy is too agreeable to the point where he is faking it.
He is trying to seem like he and the girl have so much in common that he ends up coming across in a way where he’s trying too hard and the girl can sense that.
If a girl senses that a guy is agreeing with whatever she says, or seems interested in whatever she is talking about because he’s hoping that it will make her like him, then she’s going to play hard to get.
She is going to clue on to what he’s up to.
Most girls can sense when a guy is doing that because he has no idea how to make her feel attracted to him.
So, what you need to do is be willing to be real when you’re talking to a girl, but also make sure that you say it in a way that is going to make her feel attracted.
You’re not going to disagree with her in a way that causes disconnections between you and her and makes her feel unhappy and awkward as she’s talking to you.
Instead, you want to make her feel like you and her still get along even though you disagree.
For example: The topic of the UFC, the Ultimate Fighting Championship comes up and she says something like, “I hate the UFC. It’s too violent.”
What most guys will say, even though they may like the UFC and may think that it’s not too violent, is agree with her by saying something like, “Yeah there’s so much blood. It’s very violent, isn’t it?”
The guy will talk to her in a way that he hopes will impress her.
Yet, if the girl has half a brain as she talks to him and sees that he’s doing that with pretty much everything that she talks about, she will clue on to the fact that he’s trying to impress her to get access inside of her panties by being a good little boy and agreeing with whatever she says.
So if, for example, you happen to like the UFC or love the UFC and a girl says that she hates the UFC and thinks it’s too violent, you can then playfully say something like this to her, “Yeah? You’re such a wimp.”
Or something like this, “Oh, you sissy, it’s too violent. I thought you were a strong independent woman. Turns out you’re a wimp.”
Now, of course, you’re not personally attacking her in a serious way and seriously saying that she’s a wimp and she’s a sissy.
Instead, you’re just playfully messing with her.
As a result, you and her still get along.
She laughs, she tries to playfully defend herself and say that she’s not a sissy and then you can tell her to show you her muscles.
Then, you can have a squeeze and say, “No, I still think you’re a sissy,” and have a laugh with her about that.
Now, compare that with a guy who is talking to a girl that he likes and she’s talking about something and he says, “Yeah, I agree. Yeah, yeah. I’m the same. Yeah, yeah. That’s what I think. Yeah. I mean, yeah, it’s very violent, isn’t it? Maybe they should wear bigger gloves or something. Yeah.”
That’s a completely different interaction.
As I said at the start of the video, the way that you talk to a girl will shape the type of relationship that you have with her.
The way that you talk to her can make her play hard to get, be neutral, be attracted, or be very attracted to the point where she feels like she really wants something to happen between you and her.
Now, what makes a girl feel like she wants to have something happen between you and her as a result of you disagreeing with her?
Well, it makes her feel challenged in the moment.
She feels attracted to the fact that you’re confident enough to talk to her like that.
You’re not like other guys who are trying to suck up to her.
You also have the social intelligence to make her laugh and be able to create moments like that.
You’re also not trying to discuss your way into a relationship with her.
Instead, you’re making her feel exciting emotions, desirable emotions.
As a result, she naturally feels drawn to you.
She wants more of you.
She wants something to happen between you and her.
Learn More?
I hope you enjoyed this video and learned something from it.
If you are one of the guys who find it difficult to attract girls as you talk to them and make them want you in a sexual and romantic way, then I recommend that you read my eBook The Flow or listen to the audiobook version The Flow on Audio.
When you read The Flow or listen to The Flow on Audio, you will learn how to feel confident enough to start conversations with girls that you find attractive.
You will learn what to say, how to keep conversations going and keep them interesting, how to make girls feel instantly attracted to you and increasingly attracted to you as you talk to them.
How to create an unforgettable connection between you and a girl.
How to get a phone number.
How to get a kiss on the first day or night that you meet a girl.
How to get to sex on the first day or night that you meet a girl.
Alternatively, what to do to set up a date with her so you can then kiss her and have sex with her on the first date, second date or third date, whatever you prefer.
The Flow is everything that you need to know to go from hello to sex with a woman that you find attractive.
The Secret to Getting High Quality Girls Easily
One final point that I want to make for you in this video, is that talking to girls and making them feel attracted to you and want to be with you is a very easy thing to do when you know what you’re doing.
When you know how to talk to girls in a way that causes them to feel so attracted to you that they feel like they really want something to happen between you and them, you don’t have to settle for whatever you can get.
You see a woman that you find attractive, you then make her feel attracted to you and make her really want something to happen between you and her.
You then allow her to have that chance with you.
She is the lucky girl that gets to be with you and you get yourself a girl that you really like.
That is the best ever way to approach it and it works.
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